“Child,” he looked at her steadily. “I could not help but notice that you were very quiet tonight.”
She nodded. “I am sad. I cannot help it. I will miss everyone.”
His gaze warmed. “I know this is a time of uncertainty for you. For us all. But I will do everything in my power to make sure you are at peace with your choice. I want you to be happy.”
“Thank you, Father.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I will return soon. Ina and I are seeing Fiona home.”
Conall appeared, strapping on his side arm. “I will accompany the ladies, to be certain everyone returns safely.” Looking at Elspeth he said, “If Magnus has heard you are traveling to the Cearcal, he might try to steal you away again. Let us not take any chances.”
Elspeth’s heart fell. So they were a traveling party now. If she did cross paths with Niall, she would be too closely accompanied to be able to say anything at all to him.
Perhaps … perhaps it was all for the best, that things between them ended this way, in a less than spectacular manner.
“Sleep well, Father.”
“And you.” He bent to kiss her cheek. “We depart tomorrow morning at dawn.”
She summoned a smile. “I will be ready.”
A servant brought a plaid for her shoulders, and she gathered it around her head and shoulders, just as Fiona and Ina did theirs, while Conall pulled a woolen cap over his head and ears. Outside the air was colder than in days past. Autumn had arrived. In the bailey, the fires were bigger, and the villagers warmly dressed.
Though she searched the light and shadows for Niall, she did not see him. They continued, the three ladies talking and laughing about happy times remembered, as Conall followed behind, and when they reached Fiona’s cottage, she and Elspeth made their tearful good-bye. Moments later they returned the same way they had come. Two MacClaren warriors stood at the gate, talking to the guards there. They fell into step with Conall, talking and laughing boisterously.
The moment Elspeth passed into the bailey, she froze—recognizing Niall in the flickering light of the bonfire, leaning against the castle wall. Only he wasn’t alone. In his arms was a pretty, flame-haired young woman, her arms around his shoulders. Smiling, he bent his head for a kiss.
She blinked, disbelieving, going numb from head to toe. Misery spread through her heart, making it fall like a stone in her chest.
It was Isla, a young widow from the village. A beautiful young woman discussed often by the warriors at her father’s hearth, who all the unmarried men desperately wished to court. Thus far she had not indicated a choice.
It appeared now, that she had.
Elspeth forced herself to keep walking, although she felt as if she would retch right there on the ground.
His kisses. The things they had done in his quarters. Why would he be with someone else tonight, mere days after he had touched her like that, if he cared for her at all? The answer was obvious to her. Because he did not care. His words … his gentle touch, had all been lies, but for what purpose? Merely to seduce her, or in hopes of marrying well himself?
She felt foolish. Naïve. Ashamed. Embarrassed. And furious. Heartbroken? No. She refused to allow herself to feel that.
She was not the only one to notice the couple, who continued to kiss passionately against the wall.
Conall chuckled, looking in their direction. “It appears that Niall and Isla have found one another.”
“Poor Isla,” she answered in a low voice—yet she shielded her face within the cowl of her plaid, afraid if anyone saw her expression they would see the truth written plainly across it. “She would do well to be more selective with her affections.”
“You question his sincerity?” he asked.
She shrugged. “As you yourself once told me, he is a mercenary. It comes as no surprise that he is just as dangerous with a woman’s heart as he is with a weapon.”
Conall laughed, as did the warriors who walked alongside him.
To think she had feared that she had fallen in love with him.
Now she was glad to have seen him for what he truly was. Life would be much easier from this moment on.
* * *
Niall watched her go, every muscle in his body tensing, insisting that he go after her, to confess the truth of his actions, and to explain. Instead he remained where he was, holding a woman he cared nothing for, in case she turned back.
That afternoon, as he had knelt on his parents’ graves, a powerful bloodlust had overtaken him. Only … in the midst of everything, he had seen Elspeth’s face. Heard her voice in his head. Calming him. Soothing him.
It was something he could not allow.
In that moment it had become apparent that despite all his caution, despite the hate he carried in his chest, he had come to care too greatly for the pawn in his revenge. Elspeth’s gentle nature and joyous spirit calmed the beast in him, so much so that in days prior he had tried to negotiate with his conscience how he could satisfy his need for revenge, while allowing the MacClaren to live, all for her sake.
But surrounded by those graves, filled with his parents and his clanspeople, he knew there could be no absolution granted to the MacClaren. The Kincaid clan’s retribution would be brutal and swift, without compassion or remorse, and he as their laird would see that Elspeth’s father paid with his life for what he had done.
Niall knew that if Elspeth were present to see the blood and violence he inflicted with his sword—it would destroy her. Kill her, just as certainly as if he cut her down with a sword to her himself.
He had known then what he must do, and that was to get her as far away from here as possible. That meant ensuring she departed tomorrow for the Cearcal, with no feelings for him, to wed someone else.
When he was certain Elspeth had gone inside the castle and would not return, he released Isla, who had pursued him relentlessly the past two nights here beside the bonfire.
“As much as I have enjoyed your company,” he said. “I am tired, and I must awaken very early.”
She leaned against him, her arms tight around him, refusing to let him go. “I could go with you.”
“I don’t think so.” He smiled, and gently pried free her hands from his plaid. “I have heard more than once that you are looking for a husband, and I could never be that.”
She frowned prettily, stepping back. “A pity, that. Oh, go on with you then.” She teased, her smile returning. “What good are you to me? You know where I am if you change your mind.”
Turning from her, the smile dropped from his lips. With a cold wind sweeping around him, he strode down the darkened path toward his quarters, and once inside, barred the door. Laying back on the bed, he covered his face with his hands. He had never felt so dark inside. So miserable.
He would never forget the look on her face when she had seen him with Isla.
He would never forget, for as long as he lived. Aye, he had wounded her. And aye, he had wounded himself.
But intentionally. He had hurt her now because he cared for her so greatly. Perhaps he even loved her, if he were true to his soul. One day soon he hoped she would realize the gift he had given to her, in sending her away. Even as she despised him for killing her father, and every day during her prayers cursed his name.
Chapter 17
The next morning, as the caravan formed in the bailey, Niall received a summons into the castle, to speak with the MacClaren. He could only assume he would be charged with protecting the borders in the chief’s absence—which he would do unless his company of men arrived early, which he prayed they would. Was not the laird’s absence a perfect time to seize control of the castle and its surrounding lands? The MacClaren clan defenses would be divided, and easier to disarm—and defeat.
He overheard voices coming from within the laird’s council room.
“I will hear no more of this,” exclaimed Bridget’s voice, high and tremulous. “You are too ill to travel.”
Damn. He closed his eyes, and pau
sed outside the door.
The MacClaren would not be departing after all. His first thought was not of new strategy, but of Elspeth … would she remain as well?
He did not want her here. He needed her to go.
Entering, he found the room crowded with warriors and council members. The MacClaren reclined on a raised pallet near the fire, his countenance pale and taut and drawn in pain. He wore a loose shift, and blankets covered him. Bridget sat on the floor beside him, her hand on his arm. His physician looked on, his expression grave.
Elspeth stood there too, wearing a simple wheat-colored lèine, facing her father, her hands curled at her sides. She wore a single thick braid, over her shoulder, revealing the delicate nape of her neck. His gaze traveled down the proud line of her back, and his chest constricted tight with longing.
Conall shifted stance and lifted a pensive hand to his face, where he rubbed his jaw. “What do you wish to do?”
The MacClaren spoke wearily, but with authority. “You will go without me.”
Yes, Elspeth must go.
The MacClaren exhaled heavily. “Conall, you and Ennis will also go to the Cearcal, to support Elspeth in making her decision. We have discussed at length what this man must be, and I know any approval you make would be as astute and discerning as mine. Bridget, I know you were eager to attend as well, to reunite with loved ones from your own clan. You go also.”
“I will not,” she shook her head, scowling. “I will remain here with you.”
Her hands seized his, curling tight around them.
Niall had not seen such dedication from her before. But he supposed feelings could change. Feelings. Pah. What did he care for their feelings? That he even spent one second of thought on them annoyed him. He did his best to keep a look of irritation from his face.
Conall nodded. “Then all proceeds as planned. However, my laird, if your side warriors remain here with you, someone else must provide the necessary escort.”
“Take Niall, then…” replied the MacClaren, before coughing heavily into a cloth. “Along with twenty or so others that he chooses.” More quietly he said. “I have come to trust him, and I trust him in this.” He chuckled. “What man in his right mind would challenge a protector such as that?”
The bottom fell out of Niall’s heart.
No. He had already said his good-bye to Elspeth, quick and painful, at least in his mind. He had no wish to do it again. He had no wish to see her courted and wed and sent off to start a life with another man.
“Anyone but Niall,” Elspeth answered darkly.
Her rejection blasted through him, searing and painful. And yet her words gave him at least a glimmer of hope that he would be left behind. Would her father respect her wishes?
“Why, daughter?” The chief’s gaze flickered to the back of the room where Niall stood, and a smile turned the corner of his lips. “Why would you say that about him?”
“He is arrogant.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I do not like him.”
Conall chuckled, as did others.
The MacClaren nodded, his eyebrows going up. “Aye, I had noticed more than once before. His arrogance, which is well earned, I think, and your dislike. So … Niall it shall be.”
Conall laughed and nodded. “A fine choice.”
Niall exhaled through his teeth. Damn.
“Father!” Elspeth cried, her arms going straight at her side, fingers spread wide.
He lifted a hand. “What safer escort for my lovely daughter than a man she cannot abide? I will know your virtue is protected. Is that not true, Niall?”
Elspeth’s shoulders went rigid as she realized he had been standing behind her all along.
The laird peered at him … as did everyone else, turning. Smiling.
Everyone but Elspeth, who stood, holding herself rigidly forward.
What was he to say? He could think of no reasonable excuse to decline this duty.
“Aye,” he gritted out. “That is true.”
An hour later, he waited at the front of the line of horses and wagons, dressed for travel, holding Fitheach’s reins, his muscles drawn with anticipation as he waited with everyone else for Elspeth to emerge.
The doors of the castle opened, and men spilled out. The air changed then. Became charged with energy, and Niall knew a half-second before she appeared, that she would.
She did so, accompanied by the MacClaren, who walked slowly, dressed in long robes, and Bridget. Several women followed, dressed for travel, who would no doubt serve as her attendants in the following days.
But when she walked past him, the air left Niall’s lungs. Every time he saw her, he was certain she had never looked lovelier. But truly … she had never been more beautiful than this. Aye, she was a warrior’s fantasy, laced into a fitted leather jerkin that left no doubt as to the perfection of her waist, hips and breasts. Necklaces formed of leather cording and bronze beads circled her slender neck. She wore her hair in an intricate crown of braids, and the rest loose and falling down her back. She glanced at him as she strode past, from behind kohl-rimmed eyes, her gaze smoky—and dismissive.
His insides burned to cinders.
Deargh looked at him, eyes twinkling.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he muttered under his breath.
“Like what?” the warrior answered, his bushy brows raised.
“You know like what.”
“Aye, lad.” He leaned close. “It’s called sympathy. You are certain of your decision? It’s not too late to keep her for yourself.”
“I want her to go.”
A litter had been prepared for her travel, painted a dark indigo blue with silver and gold flourishes, with curtains all around for privacy. And yet she shunned that form of lady’s travel, and proceeded toward a horse. With some ceremony, she kissed her father good-bye, and even Bridget, before mounting. With Conall and Ennis at either side of her, she proceeded down the road, where well-wishers from the village had gathered, including Fiona who smiling stepped out to offer Elspeth a garland of greenery and colorful streamers, which Elspeth accepted and lay across the shoulders of her horse.
He and Deargh climbed into their saddles, and followed along with the warriors he had selected to accompany them.
They traveled all day at a steady pace until the sky darkened, at which time, the procession halted in a field. Amidst a growing wind, three tents were unpacked. A fire was lit, and a supper of brined herring had by all. Niall did not cross paths with Elspeth. She remained ensconced among her women on the opposite side of the flames, she a tantalizing mystery in the firelight, until she disappeared into her tent, not to be seen again. Soon enough, the council members also retired, leaving only the warriors, who would sleep out of doors.
After seeing to the placement of men for the night watch, Niall wrapped himself in his plaid and reclined against a rounded stone, doing his best to sleep. But as had occurred these past several nights when he found himself alone, memories tormented him, visions of her smile and laugh. Of her skin, slippery and wet underneath the waterfall. Of her in his bed.
He had brought this torment on himself and certainly fate punished him by forcing him to watch as she was given in marriage to another man.
He turned, aching to his bones and buried his face into the wool.
* * *
When Elspeth left her tent the next morning, the first person she saw was Niall, standing beside the fire, his legs braced and his arms crossed over his chest, looking distinctly ill-tempered. Wind ruffled his hair, and his cheeks were ruddy with the cold. She knew that if she were to touch him now … to embrace him, he would radiate a comforting heat and would smell like wood smoke and earth.
At seeing her—which she assumed he did, although he did not actually look at her from what she observed—he set off in the direction of the men, who saddled their horses. No one needed to tell her that he was unhappy at having been pressed into the duty of escorting her. No doubt he wished he was at Inv
erhaven with Isla, sharing all the same intimacies he had shared with her—and more.
The resulting image that flashed into her mind stole her breath. Why did she torture herself with such thoughts? He was not the man she’d believed him to be. She should not grieve the loss of him, but welcome the opportunity to marry someone more honorable.
And yet a short time later it was he who brought her palfrey forward, looking like a prince and inspiring sighs from her maidservants. A young warrior appeared with a stool for her use, and once she was seated in her saddle, Niall handed her the reins. For a time, he rode behind her, speaking in low tones to Conall, before breaking out of the line to ride some distance ahead with Deargh as they approached their destination.
By early afternoon, they arrived under a clouded sky at Wyfernloch, a dramatic valley shielded on three sides by steep mountains. She remembered the place from those years ago when she had come with her mother and father, and it made her chest tightened with sudden sadness that the MacClaren could not be here now. Other clans had already arrived and claimed their territory. Dark clouds gathered overhead, and the wind rose. The men went immediately to constructing the dozen or so tents that would house those of the MacClaren clan who had come, centered around a larger rectangular tent where they would feast each night and entertain guests, and she would welcome suitors.
“The Alwyns are here,” said Conall, staring across the clearing to another cluster of tents above which a red and white pennant flew. “I will be interested to see if they approach.”
She had not seen Magnus since the night he abducted her, but certainly their paths would cross again. When they did, she did not know whether to act angry or conciliatory, but she supposed her heart would tell her what to do if and when she saw him.
The first tent was not yet complete when rain began to pour from the sky. Elspeth raised the hood of her cloak—
Suddenly Niall was there, one hand on her back, another holding the dark canopy of his plaid above her to shield her from the rain. Her heart pounded as he hurried her toward the litter. Pushing aside the curtain, he urged her inside, then turned on his heel, leaving her alone and looking after him.
The Beast of Clan Kincaid Page 18