Resolution (Heart of Stone)

by D H Sidebottom

  “Baby, a shower will help” I suggested and he spun round again backing me back up against the wall but not touching me.

  “Don’t fucking Baby me you bitch” he spat and I swallowed the insult back, knowing it was going to get worse than this. I expected lots of abuse, cruelty, swearing and violence to come very soon.

  I pushed off the wall and slipped from under his huge frame, took the water from my pocket and placed it on the floor beside me before I walked over to the shower room, switching it on and turning it to warm.

  Stripping naked I stepped in, holding myself against the tiles and prepared for the wait knowing he wouldn’t want to yield. I held myself under the spray and tried to calm my frayed nerves, closing my eyes and dragging up some much needed courage.

  This was going to be a gruelling next few days.

  I had first cancelled my lunch with Gary and his parents then I had phoned Nate and told him what was happening and he had given me the week off, saying Liv would cover for me and he offered to take some shifts with Mason when it got too much.

  Everybody had been great and we had worked out a rota for the next two weeks, each person doing different jobs and chores, from simple things like shopping for me to spending some time with Mason during different difficult periods of his withdrawal but I wanted to spend the first five days with him, knowing they would be the worst. I chose to do this for him.

  My infinite unconditional love for him would be what got me through this and I was determined to do it for him, as painful as I knew it would be for both of us.

  I held my breath as I saw him enter the bathroom and he stood watching me, his eyes narrow and black before he stepped into the shower fully clothed. I gazed at him, not letting my eyes leave his, not wanting to show any signs of weakness.

  He pushed me up against the cold tiles and I still didn’t leave his eyes. “You want fucking? Is that what this is about? Huh?” he sneered and I didn’t reply, not actually sure what he wanted.

  He unzipped his jeans and grabbed my hand, placing it over his hard cock. “Is this what you want Ava, my cock in your fucking pussy?” I still held his eyes, knowing where this was heading and I braced myself for the onslaught, willing to do whatever it took to take the pressure off for him.

  “Answer me damn it” he yelled as he pushed into me, his heavy length now slipped between my thighs. “You want it? You always want it don’t you” he laughed and I took a calm breath as he gripped my thigh, lifted my leg and speared me in a single thrust.

  He groaned loudly and I knew Elijah would be watching us through the monitor but I also knew I needed to let this happen. “Is that better?” he hissed as his hand gripped my hair and pulled my head backwards so he could latch on to my neck and I cringed at the pain, hoping he wouldn’t rip the stitches out.

  He pulled out and slammed back in “You” slam “Want” slam “It” slam “Hard” slam “Ava?” slam.

  His grip in my hair became harsher but I closed my eyes and breathed through it as his thrusting sped up and he suddenly cried out in release as he buried his face gently in the crook of my neck, panting hard.

  He remained in that position for a while, silent and still, his breaths heavy and laboured. “It hurts, baby” he whispered and I placed my hands gently in his hair.

  “I know baby, but you can do this” I encouraged.

  He shook his head, still buried against me. “I can’t. It’s too fucking painful. Just let me have one more hit then I can do this” he begged.

  Ignoring his request I grabbed his t-shirt, lifting it over his head and then pulled his jeans down, tapping his ankle for him to release his foot. I threw them out of the shower, sat on the tiled floor and opened my arms to him.

  He frowned at me for a while but I remained sat with open arms. He groaned in pain, his body rocking against the agony and then he dropped into my arms. “God damn it Ava, help me” he groaned and I rubbed my hands up and down his arms as I held him tight.

  “The pain will stop soon baby, I promise” I whispered into his hair as he started writhing in my lap.

  A string of sneezes exploded from him as he rocked against me and we eventually got a rhythm he could concentrate on, swaying backwards and forwards together to try and manage the pain as he moaned and groaned for the next four hours, at one point screaming in agony as we remained under the warm steady stream of the shower and I cried with him when he couldn’t take the suffering, knowing I would be covered in bruises tomorrow where he had gripped me as another spasm overtook him.

  “Shush baby” I whispered repeatedly.

  “Fuck Ava” he cried out as another onslaught approached.

  “I’ve got you” I told him as I started rubbing his legs thoroughly and harshly helping him overcome the next seizure of torture.

  “JESUS!” he screamed out and I grabbed him pulling him further into me.

  “Breathe baby, breathe through it” I encouraged and I winced as he gripped one of my thighs to ride the pain.

  I grit my teeth, wondering if he was going to crush my bones and breathed with him to survive the next episode. He cried out and writhed wildly in my arms as Greg approached the shower room. “You need me?” he asked and I shook my head at him.

  Mason clung on to me tighter and yelled at Greg, “NO! Get the fuck out.”

  Greg took a deep breath but nodded and passed me a bottle of water and I smiled gratefully at him thinking it was a good job I wasn’t embarrassed by my nudity, Greg having seen me naked and trussed up before. “Just signal if you change your mind” he told me as he stroked my hair and then left.

  We eventually got through the next six hours of torture, still clung to each other in the warm torrent of the shower until Mason eventually fell asleep in exhaustion.

  Greg came back in with a sandwich for me and one wrapped up for Mason when he woke and helped me lift him over to the mattress where I slipped in behind him and pulled the blankets over us, needing to grab a much need couple of hours sleep, hoping we were now over the worst part… how wrong I was!!

  I woke a little while later and the first thing I noticed was that Mason wasn’t anywhere in sight.

  I bolted upright; scanning the garage frenziedly for him as I pulled on my joggers and t-shirt Greg had brought in for me earlier.

  “Mason?” I shouted and I heard a small groan from inside the bathroom.

  I timidly approached, nervously wondering how I was going to find him. I gulped back a groan as I saw him.

  He was sat on the toilet, head in the bucket, naked and sweating profusely as he heaved violently from both bodily exits. “Oh baby” I breathed as I slid in.

  He looked up at me in horror and shook his head. “Get the fuck out!” he demanded harshly but I found a facecloth and drenching it in cold water I squatted in front of him and wiped his face tenderly.

  “Ava, please” he begged “I don’t want you in here with me.” He looked at me over the bucket and I knew it was his pride and shame that wanted me out not because he hated me at that moment.

  Running my fingers through his hair gently I bent down to kiss him and went and sat just outside the door and this is how we remained for the next eight hours; me talking to him, telling him stories from my childhood, escapades Katie and I found ourselves in regularly and sharing happy memories of my parents.

  My eyebrows rose as I heard the toilet flush again. “Okay” he whispered and I clambered off the floor and switched on the shower, helping him in and onto the floor to sit under the gentle flow of the refreshing warmth.

  He held his hand out to me and I stripped and joined him on the floor as he curled up and rested his head in my lap as I gently shampooed his hair and washed his poor exhausted body.

  “I love you so much, baby” I whispered into his hair, “And when this is all over, you’re going to marry me and make damn sure you make me happy” I informed him.

  His face tilted back and his eyes met mine. “You still want to marry me after listening t
o that onslaught of bodily explosions?” he said seriously and I smiled.

  “Baby, I’m sure there’ll be worse than that in a lifetime of marriage, how many times have I thrown up with you holding my hair back and looking after me? Tons! I want to set a date the first day you get out of this damn garage clean and better.”

  He looked at me with a small frown on his face. “You mean that, Ava?” he asked with the first twinkle in his eyes I had seen for a long time.

  I nodded firmly, “God Yes, it’s about time we did this” I told him, smiling tenderly at him.

  He smiled and cupped my face and shivered. “You want the temperature warming up?” He shook his head and groaned as he skidded off the shower floor and made another dash for the toilet.

  I pulled my knees up, hugging them tightly as I listened to his next round of gruelling torment. “You want me to leave?” I asked and he mumbled a yes.

  I stood, wrapped a towel around him and then took myself, a towel and clothes into the open garage.

  Elijah was stood by the mattress and I gasped as I quickly wrapped the towel round me “Sorry” he said quickly as he turned round so his back was to me.

  I hurriedly dried and pulled on my clothes. “I just came in to take over for an hour cos’ Courtney’s nipped round with George and Katie to see you” he explained.

  Approaching the bathroom, I stood just outside the door as Mason violently pumped his stomach lining. “Baby, I’m going to see the peanuts for half an hour, I won’t be long” I told him.

  “Ava!” he shouted frantically. I walked in and he lifted his head from the bucket.

  “Mason, I will be back in half an hour I promise, Elijah’s in the garage if you need anything” I told him and he looked stricken.

  I walked over to him and crouched in front of him. “If I don’t take a break, I’m not going to get through this, baby” I explained and he frowned deeply but nodded.

  “Okay but promise me you’ll come back.”

  I smiled and palmed his cheek, “I promise, you want anything while I’m out?”

  His eyes brightened, “A hit?” he asked cheekily and I smirked.

  “Anything else?” he shook his head, “Any particular movie for tonight’s entertainment Mr Fox?” I grinned.

  “How about Courtney’s favourite?” he winked and in that single second I couldn’t have loved him anymore than I did, right there, right then. He was vomiting violently and nastily, his bowels were taking the most severe battering they had ever seen, he was riding an extreme temperature and his body and the hairs that covered it were screaming out in pain as his muscles gripped every single nerve ending in his system but he still looked at me with the most pure rapture I had ever witnessed whilst still being his usual flirty self.

  I sucked in my teeth and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. “Mason” I said quietly and he looked up at me and as soon as our eyes met he nodded.

  “And me, you baby” he whispered as we gazed at each other.

  “Give the peanuts a kiss from me” he said quietly, his eyes still holding mine. I nodded and smiled tenderly and then walked from the bathroom, closing my eyes in heartache as I heard him start another punishing episode.

  “You okay, Ava?” Elijah asked with his brow deeply furrowed.

  I smiled and nodded. “I’ll be thirty minutes, he doesn’t like you to be in there with him while he’s being sick” I told him and he nodded.

  “I’ll be right here if he needs me, go and take a break and snuggle those babies” he said with a gentle smile.

  I knocked on the door and it opened, Nate was stood behind it and he took one look at me and opened his arms and I practically fell into them, sobbing and weeping hysterically.

  Scooping me into his arms he lifted me and carried me into the room and sat us on the sofa. “Let it out, Sweetheart” he whispered into my hair as he rubbed gently up and down my back.

  Courtney and Greg came over with George and Katie and their happy little chuckles brought me back from my self-pity and I sat up and held my arms out to them.

  They kicked and wiggled until they were in my arms and they both snuggled into me, their innocent sixth sense telling them what Mummy needed and I remained there for the next twenty minutes just nuzzling and inhaling their delicious scent.

  “You can do this, Ava” Nate said eventually and I nodded.

  “I can but he’s struggling and to see him like that is… is… well it’s breaking my fucking heart” I admitted and he nodded.

  “He’s strong, Ava and with your relentless passion you will both get past this I promise.”

  I smiled and nodded. “I better get back in there, he wasn’t happy about me leaving him as it was.” I kissed my babies and handed them back as a tear slipped free when they grumbled.

  “Come on peanuts, Aunty Courtney and Uncle Greg are taking you to the park” Courtney encouraged but they still whinged.

  “They’ll be fine once they’re both in a swing” she reassured me and I nodded, knowing her words were true.

  She hugged me and Greg kissed the top of my head. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours if you need me. Sam and Elijah are here” he said and I nodded and smiled.

  “You want me to take a shift with him, Ava?” Nate asked but I shook my head.

  “No, he needs me Nate” he sighed but nodded.

  “I’ll give you five minutes alone and I’ll be back tomorrow” he said softly as he crouched in front of me and took my hands.

  “I love you, Sweetheart” he said tenderly and I nodded.

  “And I love you, thank you for everything Nate, I don’t know if I’d…” I gulped the lump away, determined to not cry again. He smiled and nodded and then stood and left.

  I closed my eyes, appreciating the peace for a moment. I was really struggling to see Mason in so much pain, exhausted and resigned, ready to give up at any moment.

  This was pure torture and I wasn’t sure what would come next and if I would get through it in one piece never mind how Mason would get through the other side.

  CHAPTER 25

  Mason’s sickness eased a little within the next twelve hours but then came the mental torture with the cold sweats and hot flushes, his body flipping from one temperature extreme to the other.

  We were both currently snuggled in bed watching some lame film that wasn’t grabbing Mason’s attention as he shivered relentlessly even though I had entwined my body around his, desperately trying to get some warmth into him.

  “Fuck baby, I can’t do this anymore” he sobbed as his tears flowed and he curled up into himself. Trying to roll him over and him stubbornly refusing, I climbed over the top of him so I was in front of him and shrouded him with my arms and legs.

  “Look at me, Mason” I tried to prise his arms from the front of his face as he cried into himself. “Baby, please look at me” I urged and he removed one arm, revealing half of his face. “Tell me what you need Mason and I’ll do it” I said as I wiped some of the tears off his face.

  “You know what I need, Ava” he hissed angrily and I tipped my head.

  “Mason you can’t baby, you’re nearly through this and you’re doing so fucking well and I’m proud of you. You are doing this for your babies, Mason, because they need their loving, fun and gentle Daddy back and you’re doing this for me because I want my lover, my soul mate and my tender and passionate man back.”

  He removed his other arm, his face contorted in agony and longing. “But Ava, just a small score and I’ll be back to normal baby, isn’t that what you want, me back to normal and happy?”

  I swallowed. “Mason, that wasn’t you, you haven’t been you for a while now because of that stuff” I told him and he scoffed.

  “Oh fuck off Ava; it didn’t make me any different to how I am normally.”

  I sighed, “Mason, you fucking raped me!” He froze then, his face full of anguish and torment. “You tore chunks out of my neck so bad that I had to have stitches. Is that what
you want our relationship to be about? Me being terrified of what you’ll do to me next, how much of a tantrum you’re going to have next when I say no to something? Or just because you need a hit?”

  He closed his eyes and sighed deeply but shook his head, “No baby” he said quietly.

  Taking his hands in mine, we lay facing each other side by side. “I love you so much, Mason but if you don’t do this then I can’t be with you, I won’t let you do this to us.”

  We lay in silence, simply gazing at each other for a long time; our souls trying to comfort each other until another raging shiver rocked Mason’s body. “God Fuck!” he groaned and I cupped his face.

  “Look at me, baby” I whispered to him as he started shaking.

  I huddled him up and planted little kisses along his jaw, up and over the edge of his face, stroking my tongue along the edge of his ear and then over his eyes as I made my way to his mouth.

  I had done some research online before I had attempted to take Mason hostage, and it had informed me that sex was the best diversion against the symptoms of withdrawal, and hey, I was good with that.

  Taking his lower lip between my teeth, I nibbled it gently as my tongue stroked across, urging him to play until he groaned and opened up to me and I kissed him softly, gently and tenderly.

  He wrapped his arms around me pulling me close as he ground his erection into my belly and a moan rumbled in the back of my throat as his hand cupped my breast, squeezing gently.

  Rolling him over so I was straddled over him, wanting to take the strain, I licked my way down his neck, sucking and licking him softly as his fingers twirled around my hair, pushing my face against his skin in a silent message and I obliged, pulling in his flesh between my teeth, sucking and biting it to leave my own mark on him.