by Unknown
Calm again, the three spokes of my beast star sparked once and then reunited with the other trinities. My body shuddered, tears drying on my face. The hands that had given me healing, fell away, the warm pulse of their power receding. Beneath me, I felt my mother's presence pulse once and start to fall away as well. I started to reach for her again but I suddenly knew she was meant to stay with Alfheim. She had to fulfill her own promise. That a fey would hold sway over one of the Viking worlds. She would live on there and I could find peace in that.
“Tima?” Kirill's face was above me, his braid falling beside my cheek. “Are you okay?”
“I am,” I whispered and laid a hand to his face.
He frowned, eyes twitching with some strange emotion, and lifted me up. As soon as I was sitting, he let go of me and backed away, hunching into himself as he went. I started to call out for him but Trevor, Odin, and Azrael rushed into his place.
“What was that?” Azrael asked, pulling my gaze away from Kirill.
“My beasts,” I sighed. “I lost my Nahual. That was the form Alfheim's magic had taken and without its calming influence, my beasts went crazy.”
“Oh, of course,” Trevor expelled a rough breath. “That makes perfect sense.”
“To a shifter maybe,” Azrael smirked. “To the rest of us it's a little hard to comprehend.”
“There was more,” Odin said as he searched my eyes.
“I lost all but Freyr's magic,” I nodded. “Zeus and Hera will have to make do as truly lesser gods from now on.”
“I think that's for the best anyway,” Azrael's tattoo flashed blue.
“It doesn't matter as long as she's safe,” Fallon had come up beside us. “Are you well, Tima?”
“I'm better now, thanks,” I grinned and hopped off the rock. The elves were closer than they'd been before and they had a faint glow to their pale skin. “Thank you,” I said solemnly to them, knowing that it was the elves who'd healed me. Those had been the hands I'd felt, the voices I'd heard in song, sending magic all the way down to my beasts.
“If the light of the star is extinguished,” one of the men stepped forward, “then all shall fall into darkness with her. We had to let you fall, Trinity Star, but we couldn't let your light go out. Whether you rule Alfheim or not, the elves are your people. Please forgive us for conspiring with Freyr to change that.”
“The unknown can be scary,” I said softly. “I don't blame you for wanting the ruler you knew over the one you didn't. Forgiveness isn't needed.”
They all bowed in a fluid motion, then the man spoke again. “You will always be welcome here. You and yours. The land still feels like you. I think it will always recognize you.”
“There's a piece of Aednat within it now,” I swallowed hard against the hurt those words brought.
“Ah,” he nodded. “Yes, I feel her now. You've sacrificed more than expected.”
“Some sacrifices are necessary,” I nodded.
“She will live on forever with us,” he said gravely. “And you may come and be with her whenever you wish.”
“Thank you,” I gave him a sad smile. “And congratulations, you now have your world back.” The elves cheered and Freyr sulked. I went over to him and held out my hand. “Thanks for the loan but you can your magic back now.”
Freyr eyed me warily but held his hand out. I took it and let the emerald do its work. It pulled Freyr's magic from me and sent it back to where it belonged. As it did, my land magic slid back into place and I felt like myself again. When I opened my eyes, Freyr looked a whole lot better as well. I nodded to him and went back to my men.
As we started walking back to the ship, a light breeze swirled around us, smelling of flowers and embers. It lifted my hair and touched my cheek gently. I swallowed back my tears and lifted a hand to trail through it.
“Goodbye, Mother.”
Chapter Forty-Six
After getting back to Valaskjalf, we left Odin and Azrael in Asgard and returned to Pride Palace. I couldn't put it off any longer, I needed to find out what was wrong with Kirill. So I took him aside and asked if we could have a talk. He looked annoyed by my request but he agreed and so we went into the little room off the library where we could have some privacy.
“I can't let this go any further,” I started without preamble. “You need to tell me what's bothering you. It's obviously affecting you deeply and that affects me.”
“Does it?” He narrowed his gaze on me. He might as well have slapped me.
“Of course it does,” I gaped at him. “What the hell is going on, Kirill? This isn't like you at all.”
“Maybe I've changed,” he growled. “Maybe I'm tired of being second choice. Maybe I vant more.”
“What?” I gasped. “You think you're my second choice? You think I don't love you as much as the others?”
“The ozers,” he made an outraged sound, his Russian accent deepening. “Do you hear yourself? How many men do you need? Just let me go. I don't vant zis anymore. I vant my own voman. Totally mine.”
“You don't want this...” I fell back into one of the chairs with a thud. “I thought you were happy. You were the one who helped me accept that this is the way I have to live. I thought you, most of all, were satisfied with it all.”
“You vould,” he shook his head and glared at me. “You're so tangled in yourself, you have no idea vhat ozer people are feeling. You have too many lovers to satisfy any of zem. You say all are ze most important ven really none are important but you. Ve all have little piece of you, scrambling like dogs for scraps, and I'm supposed to be satisfied?”
“Scrambling like dogs? Seriously? I try to be a full partner to all of you but it can be difficult,” I floundered for the words as my mind reeled from the shock of Kirill's anger.
I knew something terrible was brewing within him when he'd turned away from me in Asgard. I'd sensed that it was more serious than I'd first thought. So I'd tried to prepare myself for the possibility of a confrontation such as this but there are some things you can never be prepared for, even with a warning. Kirill giving up on us was one of them.
“Full partner,” he scoffed. “Zis is no partnership, zis is dictatorship.”
“Alright,” I took a deep breath and tried to keep calm.“If you feel that way, then let's change things. I'm here, I'm listening. Tell me what would make this better. What can I do to make you happy?”
“Zere is nothing to do,” his hand cut through the air like he was severing himself from me. “Twice now, I've held you in my arms and zought you were dying. Twice have I suffered ze agony of losing you, whispering words of love to you, while you search for ze eyes of anozer man.”
“That's not true.”
“Isn't it?” His jaw clenched. “Ven Xi Wang Mu infected you and I held you as you died, who did you speak of? Who did you call out for?”
“That's only because Trevor had left,” I pleaded for understanding. “Have you forgotten what I said to you? How I swore I could have been happy with only you? I love you, you have your own place in my heart.”
“Da,” a clipped response. “Vords. Easily spoken, easily broken. You spoke of love to me and zen Trevor came and you cry out only for him. I'm done, Vervain. You freed me from Nyavirezi and for zat, I'm grateful, but I'm strong enough to make choice now and I choose to be free of you as vell. I'm leaving Pride Palace. I'm leaving ze Pride and I'm leaving you.”
“You're what?” I stood. “No. You promised me. You said you'd never leave.”
“It's different now,” a flash of something in his eyes and then he turned away.
“Kirill,” I grabbed his arm but he jerked it from my grip.
“It's over, Vervain,” he stormed out of the library and I stood there gasping for breath.
“You promised me,” I whispered, my throat constricting on the words. “But don't they always? And don't they always leave anyway?”
I fell, dropped like a stone to the floor. That much I remember. Beyond that, ther
e's very little of that time I recall. Just an overwhelming agony. A loss I'd hoped to never have to feel again. A sense that though I had so much, it was only more to lose. That Trevor and Odin had both left in their own ways and I'd almost lost Azrael recently. Everything had its price. More love meant more heartache.
I must have crawled up onto the couch at some point because an hour later, when Trevor came looking for me, he found me there, curled into a ball. He shook me until I looked at him.
“What happened?” He demanded. “I just watched Kirill leave with a packed bag.”
“He's gone,” I nodded, staring off into space. “He doesn't want to share anymore. We've lost him, he's left all of us, the Pride included.”
“Vervain!” He shook me again. “That wasn't Kirill. There's something going on here. Come on! You know this, we've talked about it already. Someone is controlling him. You're failing Kirill right now. By sitting here and giving up, you're failing him. You're failing me.”
“I am?” I blinked. Was it possible that Kirill was under the influence of something or someone? No, it hadn't sounded like Kirill but it had sounded like the truth. Had I misread it all? Again? “What do you think we should do?” It was so hard to think when your heart hurt.
“First, you need to snap out of it,” Trevor grumbled. “He's not dead, Vervain. As long as he lives, we can fix this. We can get him back. Stop with the self pity right now, this isn't you either.”
“Right,” I started to rise out of my crippling melancholy. “Right,” I said with more conviction. “He's not dead and even if he were, we could still fix this.”
“Now, there's the woman I love,” he grinned. “Did Kirill say where he was going?”
“No but he's Intare,” I started to smile. “He can't hide from his Tima.”
Chapter Forty-Seven
I didn't know what to expect when I found Kirill but I was pretty sure I wouldn't need an army of Intare at my back. So when I did get a bead on his location, I took only Trevor with me. We went down to the tracing chamber and held hands. I had the location firmly in mind, though I didn't really know where it was exactly. It wasn't like a normal trace though, I didn't need to know where I was going. All I needed was that shining cord to follow.
Except, it turned out that I needed one other thing: a chant to get me past a god's wards.
We were cast out of the Aether early, bouncing off the wards I hadn't expected to encounter. Trevor and I lay panting in a field, looking up at stone walls that extended to either side of a central gate, where they met sheer rock. Mountains rose above us on all sides and there was a lake behind us. Trees clung to the mountain sides, the sides that weren't bleak rock, and they were a rich green. The air was crisp and clean with a sweet smell of verdant things on the wind.
“Where are we?” I got to my feet.
“I don't know,” Trevor looked around. “We could be anywhere, judging by the scenery but that,” he pointed at the medieval looking castle crouching before us, behind the stone walls. “That is pretty distinctive.”
“Do you know the owner?” I asked hopefully.
“No,” he sounded as disappointed as I was. “And I don't know how to get inside either but if Kirill is in there, you can bet that whomever took him from us is inside as well. We need to figure this out.” He pulled out his cell phone.
“What are you doing?”
“When magic fails, use technology,” he grinned wolfishly. “I've got a GPS app that will tell us where we are.”
“No kidding,” I chuckled. “Nice.” Then I saw his face fall. “What? Where are we?”
He shook his head and looked back at the imposing walls. “We're in Russia.”
“Russia,” I whispered as my heart broke once more. “Kirill's gone home.”
“That,” Trevor pointed at the castle as I blinked away tears, “is not Kirill's home. His home is Pride Palace. His home is here,” Trevor placed his hand over my heart. “Just as mine is.”
“And mine is where you are,” I put my hand over his and squeezed before looking back at the castle. “But this is Russia. Who does Kirill know in Russia? All his relatives are long dead and he hasn't even been here since...”
“Since we sent him here to talk to that dream goddess!” Trevor exclaimed at the exact moment that it occurred to me.
“A dream goddess,” I whispered. “And this all started with bad dreams.”
“It's gotta be her,” Trevor's eyes started to glimmer. “Which means we have to approach this in another way.”
I nodded as a huge wave of relief swept over me. It really wasn't Kirill who'd been saying those things to me. He'd been under the influence of a dream goddess. That explained everything. My world made sense again. I could suddenly function better, the knot was gone from my belly, the tension left my shoulders. I didn't worry about what I'd have to do to get Kirill back. I'd do it. Whatever it was. I'd get my black lion home again no matter the cost.
There was a certain amount of comfort in that and even more in the thoughts of what I was going to do to that damn dream goddess. This bitch was going down.
Chapter Forty-Eight
“Aren't we done saving people for the month?” Horus whined.
I'd called the Squad in for their advice on the situation with Kirill. Most of them had come quite willingly but Horus evidently felt the need to complain. So everything really was back to normal. Now I just needed to get Kirill home.
“Do you have somewhere you need to be, Horus?” Pan asked with a wily look.
“As a matter of fact,” Horus straightened his shoulders. “I have a date tonight.”
“You what?” Hades looked over at him with surprise.
“Good for you, Horus,” Mrs. E. smiled at him and Horus preened.
“With Hekate?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said in a way that implied he was expecting a good ribbing.
“That's wonderful,” I agreed with Mrs. E. “Get out of here, Bird Man. Go have some fun for once.”
“Really?” He blinked wide eyes at all of us.
“Of course, dude,” Odin laughed. “Go use some of that Egyptian charm.”
Horus got up and hurried from the room without another word.
“Dude?” I looked over at Odin.
“Sorry,” he shrugged. “Cellular memory sometimes emerges through speech.”
“Whoa,” Torrent gaped at Odin. “That kind of blows my mind.”
“Not now, dear,” Mrs. E. patted Torrent's hand. “We have to think of a way to get Kirill back before we deal with your mind.”
“Why don't you just get Morpheus to take you through the Gates of Horn?” Torrent asked after he gave Mrs E a confused look. “Then you can get right into Kirill's mind and see what's going on.”
“Well I guess we all made a trip over here for nothing,” Hades chuckled and stood. “Next time, consult Torrent before you send for us.”
“No kidding,” I huffed. “You're brilliant, Torr.”
“Well it was simple deduction,” he blinked as everyone got to their feet. “Really? That's it? I solved the problem?”
“Yes, really,” I stood as well. “But now I'm off to the Cave of Dreams to find Morpheus.”
“Oh,” Torr sat back in his chair and picked up his mug of coffee for a leisurely drink. “I'll wait here then.”
“Another excellent idea,” Trevor laughed and went to sit beside Torrent. “I think I'll join you.”
“Really?” I looked over at him in surprise.
“I can't follow you into the Realm of Dreams, Minn Elska, I'll be useless there. You however, will be the most powerful god in the realm. Go find our boy and bring him home.”
“You got it,” I kissed him quickly and ran to the tracing chamber.
After the Squad left, I went in and tried to trace to the Cave of Dreams. The Aether deposited me on the shores of the river Styx and I groaned, remembering that you can't just trace to the Land of Dreams. Damn underworld. I stomped through t
he groves of Persephone's trees, irritated by the delay. As I passed beneath the shining Gates of the Sun, I remembered I had an easier way to travel.
“Screw this,” I said as I disrobed and then tied my clothing up into a ball.
I changed into my dragon form and grabbed my ball of clothes in one giant claw. Then I jumped into the air and flew over to the Land of Dreams in like two minutes. It looked bright and sunny there until I crossed the Lethe, then darkness fell and consumed the whole Underworld.
It took only moments for me to arrive at the cave. I changed back to human(well, okay, partly human) and pulled on my clothes quickly. I didn't want Morpheus to come out and find me naked on his doorstep. He might get the wrong idea and I really didn't want to see his little trick of morphing into mixed up versions of my men again.
I walked into the cave carefully, remembering the last time I was there and how the cave had tricked me by pulling me into nightmares. I didn't want a repeat of that either.
“Morpheus?” I called. “It's Vervain. You home?”
“Vervain?” Morpheus' voice came floating down a tunnel towards me. “I'll be right there. Don't move.”
“Right. Gotcha,” I nodded. “No sudden movements in the freaky nightmare cave.”
The man himself appeared in just a few minutes, cheeks flushed from the run and dark wings tucked in tight against his back. He gave me a quick hug.
“Did you come about the ambrosia?” He asked. “Because Hades already brought me some. I feel better than I have in years.” He spread his arms out and breathed deep as his wings unfolded behind him with a snapping whoosh. He did look pretty good.