by Kepler, Lars
Now the consultant takes out three small glass bottles containing yellow powder, puts some water into each of the bottles, shakes them carefully, then draws the contents into a syringe.
He puts his earplugs in, then opens the small hatch in the door. There’s a clatter of metal and a heavy smell of concrete and dust hits them.
In a dispassionate voice the Senior Consultant tells Jurek Walter that it’s time for his injection.
The man lifts his chin and gets up softly from the chair, turns to looks at the hatch in the door and unbuttons his shirt as he approaches.
‘Stop and take your shirt off,’ Roland Brolin says.
Jurek Walter carries on walking slowly forward and Roland quickly closes and bolts the hatch. Jurek stops, undoes the last buttons and lets his shirt fall to the floor.
His body looks as if it was once in good shape, but now his muscles are loose and his wrinkled skin is sagging.
Roland opens the hatch again. Jurek Walter walks the last little bit and holds out his sinewy arm, mottled with hundreds of different pigments.
Anders washes his upper arm with surgical spirit. Roland pushes the syringe into the soft muscle and injects the liquid far too quickly. Jurek’s hand jerks in surprise, but he doesn’t pull his arm back until he’s given permission. The Senior Consultant closes and hurriedly bolts the hatch, removes his earplugs, smiles nervously to himself and then looks inside.
Jurek Walter is stumbling towards the bed, where he stops and sits down.
Suddenly he turns to look at the door and Roland drops the syringe.
He tries to catch it but it rolls away across the floor.
Anders steps forward and picks up the syringe, and when they both stand and turn back towards the hatch they see that the inside of the reinforced glass is misted. Jurek has breathed on the glass and written ‘JOONA’ with his finger.
‘What does it say?’ Anders asks weakly.
‘He’s written Joona.’
‘Joona?’
‘What the hell does that mean?’
The condensation clears and they see that Jurek Walter is sitting as if he hadn’t moved. He looks at the arm where he got the injection, massages the muscle, then looks at them through the glass.
‘It didn’t say anything else?’ Anders asks.
‘I only saw …’
There’s a bestial roar from the other side of the heavy door. Jurek Walter has slid off the bed and is on his knees, screaming as hard as he can. The sinews in his neck are taut, his veins swollen.
‘How much did you actually give him?’ Anders asks.
Jurek Walter’s eyes roll back and turn white, he reaches out a hand to support himself, stretches one leg but topples over backwards, hitting his head on the bedside table, then he screams and his body starts to jerk spasmodically.
‘Bloody hell,’ Anders whispers.
Jurek slips onto the floor, his legs kicking uncontrollably. He bites his tongue and blood sprays out over his chest, then he lies there on his back, gasping.
‘What do we do if he dies?’
‘Cremate him,’ Brolin says.
Jurek is cramping again, his whole body shaking, and his hands flail in every direction until they suddenly stop.
Brolin looks at his watch. Sweat is running down his cheeks.
Jurek Walter whimpers, rolls onto his side and tries to get up, but fails.
‘You can go inside in two minutes,’ the Senior Consultant says.
‘Am I really going in there?’
‘He’ll soon be completely harmless.’
Jurek is crawling on all fours, bloody slime drooling from his mouth. He sways and slows down until he finally slumps to the floor and lies still.
3
Anders looks through the thick reinforced glass window in the door. Jurek Walter has been lying motionless on the floor for the last ten minutes. His body is limp in the wake of his cramps.
The Senior Consultant pulls out a key and puts it in the lock, then pauses and peers in through the window before unlocking the door.
‘Have fun,’ he says.
‘What do we do if he wakes up?’ Anders asks.
‘He mustn’t wake up.’
Brolin opens the door and Anders goes inside. The door closes behind him and the lock rattles. The isolation room smells of sweat, but of something else as well. A sharp smell of acetic acid. Jurek Walter is lying completely still, with just the slow pattern of his breathing visible across his back.
Anders keeps his distance from him even though he knows he’s fast asleep.
The acoustics in there are odd, intrusive, as if sounds follow movements too quickly.
His doctor’s coat rustles softly with each step.
Jurek is breathing faster.
The tap is dripping in the basin.
Anders reaches the bed, then turns towards Jurek and kneels down.
He catches a glimpse of the Senior Consultant watching him anxiously through the reinforced glass as he leans over and tries to look under the fixed bed.
Nothing on the floor.
He moves closer, looking carefully at Jurek before lying flat on the floor.
He can’t watch Jurek any longer. He has to turn his back on him to look for the knife.
Not much light reaches under the bed. There are dustballs nestled against the wall.
He can’t help imagining that Jurek Walter has opened his eyes.
There’s something tucked between the wooden slats and the mattress. It’s hard to see what it is.
Anders stretches out his hand, but can’t reach it. He’ll have to slide beneath the bed on his back. The space is so tight he can’t turn his head. He slips further in. Feels the unyielding bulk of the bed-frame against his ribcage with each breath. His fingers fumble. He needs to get a bit closer. His knee hits one of the wooden slats. He blows a dustball away from his face and carries on.
Suddenly he hears a dull thud behind him in the isolation cell. He can’t turn round and look. He just lies there still, listening. His own breathing is so rapid he has trouble discerning any other sound.
Cautiously he reaches out his hand and touches the object with his fingertips, squeezing in a bit further in order to pull it free.
Jurek has made a short knife with a very sharp blade fashioned from a piece of steel skirting.
‘Hurry up,’ the Senior Consultant calls through the hatch.
Anders tries to get out, pushing hard, and scratches his cheek.
Suddenly he can’t move, he’s stuck, his coat is caught and there’s no way he can wriggle out of it.
He imagines he can hear the sound of shuffling from Jurek.
Perhaps it was nothing.
Anders pulls as hard as he can. The seams strain but don’t tear. He realises that he’s going to have to slide back under the bed to free his coat.
‘What are you doing?’ Roland Brolin calls in a brittle voice.
The little hatch in the door clatters as it is bolted shut again.
Anders sees that one pocket of his coat has caught on a loose strut. He quickly pulls it free, holds his breath and pushes himself out again. He is filled with a rising sense of panic. He scrapes his stomach and knee, but grabs the edge of the bed with one hand and pulls himself out.
Panting, he turns round and gets unsteadily to his feet with the knife in his hand.
Jurek is lying on his side, one eye half-open in sleep, staring blindly.
Anders hurries over to the door and meets the Senior Consultant’s anxious gaze through the reinforced glass and tries to smile, but stress cuts through his voice as he says:
‘Open the door.’
Roland Brolin opens the hatch instead.
‘Pass the knife out first.’
Anders gives him a quizzical look, then hands the knife over.
‘You found something else as well,’ Roland Brolin says.
‘No,’ Anders replies, glancing at Jurek.
‘A letter.’
&nb
sp; ‘There wasn’t anything else.’
Jurek is starting to writhe on the floor, and is gasping weakly.
‘Check his pockets,’ the Senior Consultant says with a stressed smile.
‘What for?’
‘Because this is a search.’
Anders turns and walks cautiously to Jurek Walter. His eyes are completely shut again, but beads of sweat are starting to appear on his furrowed face.
Reluctantly Anders leans over and feels inside one of his pockets. The denim shirt pulls tighter across Jurek’s shoulders and he lets out a low groan.
There’s a plastic comb in the back pocket of his jeans. With trembling hands Anders checks the rest of his tight pockets.
Sweat is dripping from the tip of his nose. He has to keep blinking hard.
One of Jurek’s big hands opens and closes several times.
There’s nothing else in his pockets.
Anders turns back towards the reinforced glass and shakes his head. It’s impossible to see if Brolin is standing outside the door. The reflection of the lamp in the ceiling is shining like a grey sun in the glass.
He has to get out now.
It’s taken too long.
Anders gets to his feet and hurries over to the door. The Senior Consultant isn’t there. Anders peers closer to the glass, but can’t see anything.
Jurek Walter is breathing fast, like a child having a nightmare.
Anders bangs on the door. His hands thud almost soundlessly against the thick metal. He bangs again. There’s no sound, nothing is happening. He taps on the glass with his wedding ring, then sees a shadow growing across the wall.
His shiver runs up his back and down his arms. With his heart pounding and adrenalin rising through his body, he turns round. He sees Jurek Walter slowly sitting up. His face is slack and his pale eyes are staring straight ahead. His mouth is still bleeding and his lips look weirdly red.
4
Anders is shouting and pounding at the heavy steel door, but the Senior Consultant still isn’t opening it. His pulse is thudding in his head as he turns to face their patient. Jurek Walter is still sitting on the floor, and blinks at him a few times before he starts to get up.
‘It’s a lie,’ Jurek says, dribbling blood down his chin. ‘They say I’m a monster, but I’m just a human being …’
He doesn’t have the energy to stand up and slumps back, panting, onto the floor.
‘A human being,’ he repeats.
With a weary gesture he puts one hand inside his shirt, pulls out a folded piece of paper and tosses it over towards Anders.
‘The letter he was asking for,’ he says. ‘For the past seven years I’ve been asking to see a lawyer … Not because I’ve got any hope of getting out … I am who I am, but I’m still a human being …’
Anders crouches down and reaches for the piece of paper without taking his eyes off Jurek. The crumpled man tries to get up again, leaning on his hands, and although he sways slightly he manages to put one foot down on the floor.
Anders picks up the paper from the floor, and finally hears a rattling sound as the key is inserted into the lock of the door. He turns and stares out through the reinforced glass, feeling his legs tremble beneath him.
‘You shouldn’t have given me an overdose,’ Jurek mutters.
Anders doesn’t turn round, but he knows that Jurek Walter is standing up, staring at him.
The reinforced glass in the door is like a screen of grainy ice. He can’t see who’s standing on the other side turning the key in the lock.
‘Open, open,’ he whispers as he hears breathing behind his back.
The door slides open and Anders stumbles out of the isolation cell. He stumbles straight into the concrete wall of the corridor and hears the heavy clang as the door shuts, then the rattles as the powerful lock responds to the turn of the key.
Panting, he leans back against the cool wall. Only then does he see that it wasn’t the Senior Consultant who rescued him but the young woman with the pierced cheeks.
‘I don’t know what happened,’ she says. ‘Roland must have lost it completely, he’s always incredibly careful about security.’
‘I’ll talk to him …’
‘Maybe he got ill … I think he’s diabetic.’
Anders wipes his clammy hands on his doctor’s coat and looks up at her again.
‘Thank you for letting me out,’ he says.
‘I’d do anything for you,’ she jokes.
He tries to give her his carefree, boyish smile, but his legs are shaking as he follows her out through the security door. She stops in the control room, then turns back towards him.
‘There’s only one problem with working down here,’ she says. ‘It’s so damn quiet that you have to eat loads of sweets just to stay awake.’
‘That sounds OK.’
On a monitor he can see Jurek sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. The dayroom with its television and running machine is empty.
5
Anders Rönn spends the rest of the day concentrating on familiarising himself with the new routines, with a doctor’s round up on Ward 30, individual treatment plans and discharge tests, but his mind keeps going back to the letter in his pocket and what Jurek had said.
At ten past five Anders leaves the criminal psychology ward and emerges into the cool air. Beyond the illuminated hospital precinct the winter darkness has settled.
Anders warms his hands in his jacket pockets, and hurries across the pavement towards the large car park in front of the main entrance to the hospital.
It was full of cars when he arrived, but now it’s almost empty.
He screws up his eyes and realises that there’s someone standing behind his car.
‘Hello!’ Anders calls, walking faster.
The man turns round, rubs his hand over his mouth and moves away from the car. Senior Consultant Roland Brolin.
Anders slows down as he approaches the car and pulls his key from his pocket.
‘You’re expecting an apology,’ Brolin says with a forced smile.
‘I’d prefer not to have to speak to hospital management about what happened,’ Anders says.
Brolin looks him in the eye, then holds out his left hand, palm up.
‘Give me the letter,’ he says calmly.
‘What letter?’
‘The letter Jurek wanted you to find,’ he replies. ‘A note, a sheet of newspaper, a piece of cardboard.’
‘I found the knife that was supposed to be there.’
‘That was the bait,’ Brolin says. ‘You don’t think he’d put himself through all that pain for nothing?’
Anders looks at the Senior Consultant as he wipes sweat from his upper lip with one hand.
‘What do we do if the patient wants to see a lawyer?’ he asks.
‘Nothing,’ Brolin whispers.
‘Has he ever asked you that?’
‘I don’t know, I wouldn’t have heard, I always wear earplugs.’ Brolin smiles.
‘But I don’t understand why …’
‘You need this job,’ the Senior Consultant interrupts. ‘I’ve heard that you were bottom of your class, you’re in debt, you’ve got no experience and no references.’
‘Are you finished?’
‘You should give me the letter,’ Brolin replies, clenching his jaw.
‘I didn’t find a letter.’
Brolin looks him in the eye for a moment.
‘If you ever find a letter,’ he says, ‘you’re to give it to me without reading it.’
‘I understand,’ Anders says, unlocking the car door.
It seems to Anders as if the Senior Consultant looks slightly more relaxed as he gets in the car, shuts the door and starts the engine. When Brolin taps on the window he ignores him, puts the car in gear and pulls away. In the rear-view mirror Brolin stands and watches the car without smiling.
6
When Anders gets home he quickly shuts the front door behind him, locks i
t and puts the safety chain on.
His heart is beating hard in his chest – for some reason he ran from the car to the house.
From Agnes’s room he can hear Petra’s soothing voice. Anders smiles to himself. She’s already reading Seacrow Island to their daughter. It’s usually much later before the bedtime rituals have reached the story. It must have been a good day again today. Anders’s new job has meant that Petra has risked cutting her own hours.
There’s a damp patch on the hall rug around Agnes’s muddy winter boots. Her woolly hat and snood are on the floor in front of the bureau. Anders goes in and puts the bottle of champagne on the kitchen table, then stands and stares out at the garden.
He’s thinking about Jurek Walter’s letter, and no longer knows what to do.
The branches of the big lilac are scratching at the window. He looks at the dark glass and sees his own kitchen reflected back at him. As he listens to the squeaking branches, it occurs to him that he ought to go and get the shears from the storeroom.
‘Just wait a minute,’ he hears Petra say. ‘I’ll read to the end first …’
Anders creeps into Agnes’s room. The princess-lamp in the ceiling is on. Petra looks up from the book and meets his gaze. She’s got her light brown hair pulled up into a ponytail and is wearing her usual heart-shaped earrings. Agnes is sitting in her lap and saying repeatedly that it’s gone wrong and they have to start the bit about the dog again.
Anders goes in and crouches down in front of them.
‘Hello, darling,’ he says.
Agnes glances at him quickly, then looks away. He pats her on the head, tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, then gets up.
‘There’s food left if you want to heat it up,’ Petra says. ‘I just have to reread this chapter before I can come and see you.’