"No, Minka, that's not what I meant by that at all. Truly. I just...you said a couple of times that you weren't as experienced, and so I just thought...Jesus, I'm an idiot. Just forget I ever said anything."
An awkward silence passes between us as the sun descends further into the looming night sky.
"We should head back before it gets too dark." I hate myself for putting this kind of tension into her petite body. She stills me with her hand as I go to get up.
"I can, I can tell you about it. My first time. If you want to know." Her voice sounds so small, fragile.
I really don’t want to hear about it, her with someone else. But this seems like a big step for her, by the way she’s breathing as if she’s about unleash a giant secret. “I’d love to listen, to be here for you."
"I was a sophomore. I'd never been particularly popular, but I hung on the outside rim of the in-crowd, mostly because of my two best friends. During the second week of school, this junior boy came up and introduced himself. I thought he was so cute, and I was freaking out because he was actually talking to me. I'd never had that kind of attention before.” She smiles, but its not right. It looks more self-deprecating than anything.
“Anyway, he asked me to hang out that weekend. He took me to the movies. Bought me Twizzlers, put his arm around me, and at the end of the night, gave me my first real kiss on the lips." She pauses, a wane smile crossing her lips.
"It went on like that for a while, he was really sweet and attentive. But then he'd start asking me to do things. Intimate things. Just a little here and there, and not aggressively enough that I thought anything of it. I'd convinced myself that he was older, and in order to be with him I needed to up my game. So I did. Things were usually all about him, but there were times that he pushed me a little too far, touched somewhere that I wasn't exactly comfortable with. But he was so sweet after those times, that it made up for all of that." She looks pained now, as if old wounds are being sliced open and exposed to the salty air. I want to comfort her, badly, but am hesitant to. I don't want to spook her.
"Winter Formal rolled around and he asked me to go with him. I was ecstatic. I'd never been asked to anything before. I was painstakingly thorough in my getting ready, the right dress, the perfect shoes. I even paid to have my hair done. When he picked me up, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I pushed it aside, not wanting to ruin the night. Tons of kids drank for these things, right?"
My blood singes in my veins, because I had been one of those kids. I want to punch myself. This prick wasn’t good enough for her, and neither was I.
"The dance was fun enough, he seemed a little out of it, but I was there with him. Everyone knew who I was, and knew we were unofficially a couple. I thought it was awesome. Afterwards, there was this huge party at Jason Hinkley's house."
I'd almost gone to that, but Farris had thrown a seniors only get together that I'd ended up at instead.
"When we got there, he kept drinking. I had one or two. He was sweet, hanging his arms around me, kissing me in front of everyone. When he asked me to go upstairs, I was nervous, but I just pushed past it. This was what high school was about, right?” She shrugs, clearly not believing her thought process.
“Well, the whole sex thing was fairly awkward, it hurt most of the time and he didn't pay much attention to my needs."
Fuckbag. Only the biggest of pussies got off without helping out their woman.
"I thought, I'd done it, you know? At least it would get better from here. He was so nice the rest of the night, pumped up actually. And then...when I got to school Monday morning. He dumped me. In front of everyone.”
Her voice cracks as she finishes that sentence, and I ball my hands into fists until I can feel my nails breaking the skin. I’m suddenly so angry I don’t think I can hear the rest of her story.
"Turns out I was a prize in some game. He told the whole school I was easy, and anytime I saw him after that he'd cough some obscenity under his breath. Everyone did. I became the butt of the school wide joke for the next...well, I guess I still am."
I can’t see my vision is so black with rage. This fucker was lucky enough to be with Minka, lucky enough that she gave him her virginity, and he threw it back in her face. And all of those people mocked her for it? I was ready to obliterate the world. "Who is he?"
"Owen, it wouldn't make a difference. Not now." she sighs, resigning herself to her fate.
"Who is he?"
"It doesn't matter anymore. Right before I met you actually, I'd decided to stop letting it matter. I'm not playing the victim anymore. I had a hand in what happened, I could have chosen not to push aside those red flags."
"Don't you ever say that. None of that was your fault. Some asshole took this beautiful, innocent girl and used her. Used you. You don't ever deserve that. Fuck all of those people, Minka."
She gives a weak smile. "So...that's why I didn't want to get to know you. In some ways, the situation is all to familiar. Older guy pursuing me, so persistent and charming—“ She nudges me, trying to make me laugh at her joke. I can’t find the humor in it.
"I would never do that to you."
"I think I know that. Which is why I'm here with you." She snuggles closer, putting her small arm around my back, comforting me. "But Owen, don't hurt me. I don't think I could take it again."
* * *
After we’d walked quietly back from the beach, I'd grilled up salmon that Maria had stocked the fridge with. Minka put on some soft rock and pulled out two beers. I think she was trying to lighten the mood after our serious talks. It helped a little.
We laid on the sofa in the living room, me flat on my back, her wedged between me and the back of the couch, wrapped around my body like a koala bear. I stroke her back absentmindedly while watching the baseball game lighting up the TV.
Something has changed, shifted. Sure, I still want to have her naked and under me at pretty much all points of the day. But I have this strange need to fiercely protect her that wasn't there before. I guess her father and I have that in common now.
I need to keep her safe, destroy anything bad that comes into her life. I'm surprised to find that I'm seriously falling for this girl. Surprised not because I don't want to fall for her, that's not it. Its just that...I've never really felt this way before.
But then again, I knew from the moment I'd met her that nothing with Minka was going to be similar to any other relationship I'd ever had.
"Are you excited?" Her random question pulls me out of my deep thoughts.
"Huh?"
"To go pro. To be one of these guys." She flutters her hand towards to the TV, where the camera has a close up of the pitcher waving of signals at his catcher.
"Yeah...I think so. I'm not sure."
"You're not sure? Isn't it like a flight or fight response? You either have to have it, or you don't."
"I guess. I just...I've always been good at baseball. Its not something I've ever had to struggle at. I do love it, there is nothing compared to that feeling of standing on that mound, controlling all of the players on the chess board. But sometimes I think I'll get there and think, 'This is it?'"
She yawns, "I guess you won't know until you get there."
I glance at the clock, not realizing it was already midnight. The game being on the West Coast had thrown me off.
"Alright beautiful, I think it's time for bed. We have to be up early, I'm teaching you to surf."
"Oh, yay! I've always wanted to try." She looks so cute in her sweatpants and tank top, cuddled up. Her eyes are half-lidded she’s so tired.
I take her hand and walk her down the hallway to her room. Pausing outside the door frame, I kiss her forehead. "This is where I leave you."
Her arms wrap around my waist and she looks like she wants to say something else. Instead, she presses up on her toes and kisses me lightly.
Her soft, plump lips smoothe over mine, coaxing them in a slow and sensual rhythm. I frame her face with my callused
hands, rubbing my thumb across the velvet of her cheek. When she begins to breath heavy groans into our kiss, I know I have to break it off. After everything tonight, I need to show her that I’m not just here for the physical.
"Goodnight Minka." I drop my hands from her face and pull her hands away from my body.
"Oh, okay. Goodnight." A tinge of something I can’t put my finger on lights in her eyes. It may be disappointment. Flashing one last smile, I mount the stairs to my room.
Forcing myself to stay up there through the night is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
20
Minka
We woman are the absolute worst. I'd been the one to tell Owen that I didn't want to stay in his bed. I'd told him about how much Gregory had hurt me and used me. I'd been the one who tried to push him away from the beginning.
So why in the world had I been crushed when he'd essentially dropped me off at the guest bedroom last night?
Why had I laid in bed, not able to fall asleep until 2:30 a.m., cursing myself for ever telling him about Gregory? Thinking he probably wanted nothing to do with me now.
Why had I debated, several times, not waiting for him to come to me and simply walking up to his room?
This is why I avoided shit like this. It made me crazy. It made all women crazy. We turned into paranoid, question-asking monsters who could do nothing more than blow every situation out of proportion.
Of course, everything with Owen today had been completely fine. Good to know he hadn't lost any sleep over it.
Most of the morning and afternoon were spent down by the water, teaching me to surf. Which hadn't been as much of a disaster as I'd originally thought. I even stood up two or three times.
We capped the day off with an early dinner, Owen had grilled steaks while I threw together my infamous pasta salad. We drank wine with dinner. The whole thing felt very adult, which both excited and scared me. I couldn't help straying back to my earlier thoughts that he would never stick around for an inexperienced high school chick.
I was bent over the second floor balcony railing, staring out at the now descending sun dropping into the ocean, when Owen came out from clearing the dishes. Instead of cradling my back against his front as he'd done yesterday, he stood beside me, just far enough away that we weren't touching. I gave an inward groan.
He'd been like this all day. Friendly but not affectionate. If he did touch me it was quick, none of those lingering grazes or heated stares.
I didn't need to be treated with kid gloves. If this was my summer fling, the only chance I was going to have with Owen, than I wanted my money's worth. I steel my nerves and dive head first.
"So...you were a great teacher today."
"Thanks. That's actually...um, my major."
Wow, hadn't known that. Now that I did though, I could totally see it. And I could totally picture him, in his school appropriate button down, grading papers...okay, snap out it. That was one fantasy we could maybe act out later.
"You'd be great at that. But I'm wondering if maybe you had another lesson in you for today."
His eyes light up with interest. "And what did you have in mind?"
"Well...I've never, I've never skinny dipped before. And I thought maybe you could show me?"
His baby blues liquefy into cobalt orbs, and his tongue darts out to wet his lips. I feel a little parched myself. That ask had taken all of my courage, and my breath, with it.
"You...you want to go skinny dipping?" He nearly chokes.
"I do."
"Okay, sure."
He clasps my hand in his large one and leads me to the outside stairs that connect the decks above and below us. When we come to the first floor, he pulls me across the wood expanse and down onto the grass. Of course Owen's family has a beautiful pool when the beach was just steps away.
By now the sun had fully gone down, the only light guiding us was the half moon hanging low in the sky. At the edge of the pool, Owen drops my hand.
I was unsure of what move to make next. My brain had only gone so far as to think through the initial ask.
"So first, you have to take off your clothes." Owen stares at me greedily, but warmth sparks in his eyes. I know he must have a lot of pent-up lust in there. We'd barely done more than cuddle and makeout for two weeks.
I hold his eye contact while I ease one strap of my periwinkle tank top down. I watch him track the course of the skinny strap down my arm, and it gives me a buzz of power, knowing how much I affect him.
I slip the other strap down and then move to the tiny silver buttons that run all the way down the front of the shirt, keeping it closed. My fingers tingle as I slip each button out of its loophole, with each one falling open, more of my skin is hit with the cool night air.
Owen’s eyes have gone black by the time I shrug the top off of my body, leaving me in my white strapless bra and white jean shorts.
Wordlessly, he pulls his navy blue t-shirt over his head, tossing it to the side. The moonlight bounces off the grooves of his muscles, highlighting just how amazing his body is.
He stands, waiting for me to make my next move. So that’s how we were going to play. I throw him a small, flirty smile as I flick the button on my shorts. I hear his intake of breath at the tiny movement. I push the course material down my legs and stand up straight, a little more self conscience than before in just my white bra and bikini-style underwear.
Owen pushes his khaki shorts down roughly and frantically. I hold in my laugh at his haste. Someone’s in a hurry.
As soon as he stands up, he takes one look at me, and before I can reach back slowly and unhook my bra, he whips his boxers off.
I freeze. He was…he was just so beautiful. And I know that was a weird word to use in reference to a guy, but he just was. He looked like a sculpture, his muscles mimicking carved stone. And down below…wow. He stood stiff as a board, he was so turned on it looked painful.
“Fuck this slow shit.” One second he stood in front of me, the next I am in his arms, being pulled off the ground. A split second later we hit the cool surface of the water, breaking through and sinking under.
The shock of being thrown, or carried, in hits me, and I begin to struggle from Owen’s arms, which we are rapped around my half naked body at the bottom of the deep end. Kicking off, I swim up and break the surface, sputtering.
Owen comes up while I’m coughing the water out of my lungs. “Thank god.” I choke.
“What?” Rivulets of water drip off his wavy strands, and his chiseled arm comes up to slick it back out of his face. My core aches in awareness. Tingles snaked down my spine as I remember just how completely naked he is under the water.
“I thought you were never going to touch me. I’m not a china doll, Owen. I said don’t hurt me. That didn’t mean you can’t play with me.”
“Well get your sexy ass over here then.” He swims closer toward the middle of the pool, where he can stand.
He urges me to move closer, and my body moves of its own accord. All doubts and insecurities vanish the minute he pulls me into his tight, muscular form.
"How could I not touch you? How I could not worship you? God, look at you."
I look down between us, trying hard to examine just what he sees in me that makes him want to declare me a god.
He moves his right hand from where it had been locked around my waist and ghosts his fingertips over the tops of my breasts. Instantly, my nipples stiffen to a hard peak, something that is easily visible through the now soaking wet white piece of lace.
I hear his sharp intake of breath. "God damnit…”
Owen deftly reaches behind me, and I hear the snap as he unhooks my bra, sliding it from my shoulders in one swift move. I watch as the whisp of white disappears into the dark water of the deep end.
My attention is quickly pulled back to the glorious, naked man standing in front of me.
He wrenches me harder against him, with no barrier in the way now, my breasts mashing
against his chest. My nipples are so hard that the sudden contact makes them sing with pleasure. He’s only been touching me for a couple of seconds and I’m already so ready to unravel that it won’t take much more.
Feeling his impressive arousal nakedly pressing to the front of my belly has me nervous. And when I’m nervous, sometimes I babble.
"Isn't water supposed to shrink these things?"
I almost slap my hand to my forehead after hearing that come out of my mouth. So sexy of you, Minka.
Owen chuckles, his desire not even phased by my stupid comment. I can see the heat pouring out of his eyes. He begins to move us through the water until he backs me up against the wall. "There isn't a moment when I'm around you that I'm not hard. That I'm not aching to be inside of you. I know I said I wouldn't push you, but please, let me show just what this thing can do in water."
I audibly gulp. I am so turned on in this moment, I would probably let him whip me or chain me up if he asked nicely. Moving my hands quietly where they are concealed in the murky water below us, I make contact with his cock and wrap one hand around it, stroking up lightly.
A low growl emanates from his lips, and it was all the answer he needed.
Owen plunges his head down to meet mine, latching his lips onto my own and pulling long, sultry caresses from me. As my stroking increases on his nowhere-near-shrinking anatomy, up and down the bulging member to his hot, swollen head, his kisses become frantic, eliciting moans and growls that work their way out of my throat.
And then, his hands tear my own away from what they so badly want to keep doing. I frown into his mouth, until he quiets me. "If you keep going, I will come way before I want this to end. You are amazing."
His brilliant blue eyes connect with mine, and sparkle in the moonlight.
Then his hands are on me.
One massages my left breast, rubbing slow circles which he makes smaller and smaller until he brushes over my nipple, only to move back out and repeat the process over again. The other slips through my lace panties, expertly locating the spot between my legs. "Oh god yess..." I mewl and drop my head on Owen's shoulder.
Pitching to Win (Over the Fence #1) Page 13