Frozen to the deck, I watched for what seems like an eternity. Owen is playing flip cup, wedged in between the blonde and a redhead with the biggest boobs I've ever seen. They look unnatural against her tiny waist, which then leads me to wonder if they are, in fact, fake.
I feel my pulse zipping a mile a minute at my neck. Every time one of these girls places a hand on Owen, his lower back, his shoulder, and leans their body into his, he accepts it. He never politely pushes them off. Between that and the way he's chugging beer and high-fiving his baseball buddies, I've seen enough.
This isn't my world. I feel an errant tear drip onto the hand, which has gone ghostly white, clutching my beer bottle. I knew from the start that I didn't belong in his galaxy, let alone his college campus. He's everyone's favorite guy, that person that would always stand out while simultaneously fitting in, no matter where he was.
I was born to blend in. And I'd always preferred it like that. Until he decided to come into my life and fuck that all up.
I thought he saw me, really saw me. Past all of the walls, and the hurt, and the bullshit, he had made it seem like he wanted me, the odd girl out. But maybe it was all for the chase. Wasn't it always how these guys were?
Trying to suck in deep calming breaths, I managed to get a hold on the nausea working its way up my throat. I stole one last glance towards the lawn, Owen's bright smile laughing at something going on inside the group.
I stumbled down the side steps, working my way to the front lawn. Where do I go now? I don't want to stay in Owen's room, much less be here.
I could camp out in the fifth bedroom, but I feared being trampled on by an overly horny couple looking for the closest room.
So, I chucked my bottle in the yard and started walking.
I wasn't familiar with this street, but I'd paid attention on the drive and knew campus was only about a block or two up. The night was warm, the humid Virginia air clung to my skin as I walked slowly along. Sticking my hands in my pockets and keeping alert for bumps in the night, my mind drifted back to the house.
He hadn't looked for me in an hour. Tears pooled in the bottom of my sockets, my cheeks burning with the sting of being ignored.
Did I care if he didn't do it on purpose? No. I knew he probably hadn't meant it, but it stung so much more because he really could just that easily forget about me.
Mostly it stung because I didn't go a second of the day without him in my head.
I'd fallen, deeply. It was exactly the kind of thing I'd swore I'd never do. Especially with a guy like Owen.
Just when I'd decided to let myself shine, to stop hiding in the humiliation of my past, that's when he'd decided to pounce. I never even had a chance. There I was empowering myself, chanting the girl power mantra through my head, and I'd let myself get caught by the first handsome jock who'd smiled my way.
I'm about to campus now, and I know where I'm headed at this point. The circle of benches surrounding the Founder's Statue.
I've only ever been here once, on a campus tour with Chlo last summer, but that circle always seemed like somewhere to sit and think. A hub for knowledge. How college of me.
Campus is all but dead, for one its summer and for two, the only people who are here are four beers deep and not stepping foot on campus.
I revel in the silence, admiring the way the lights cast shadows between the old brick buildings. The air smells like fresh grass, and fireflies light up the space around me.
Just as I tilt my head back onto the bench, I hear flip flops slapping along the paved walkways.
I shoot up, suddenly extremely aware that I'm alone on a deserted campus at night. But my heart stops beating when I see who's running towards me.
Owen.
"Are you ok?" He's shouting, his face is flushed, from what I can't tell, the beer or the running. "I had no idea where you were! Jesus, babe, don't walk off like that. You scared the fucking shit out of me."
I sit back down, disappointed that he thinks he's being some kind of hero in finding me. "Go back to your party, Owen."
"What?" He looks confused as he nears, bending over feet from where I sit to catch his breath.
"I said go back to your party. Blonde bombshell and big tits are probably missing you by now." Okay, that sounded really high school, but in my defense I'm still in high school.
"What are you talking about? What's wrong with you?" He eyes me, sweaty from his sprint over here. And damnit, it sucks how sexy he looks right now.
"You shouldn't have brought me here. Especially if you were going to ignore me the whole time." I let a bit of my anger slip away from me, biting out my response.
"Ignoring you? I was with you the whole time..."
He trails off, clearly filling in the holes in his memory. His face contorts from a confused grimace to one of sympathy and apology. "Baby I..."
"Go back to your party, Owen. I'm fine here." I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to look at him. I'm seconds away from crying unreasonably and don't want him to see that.
"I didn't mean to, ignore you. I wasn't ignoring you, really...I just...shit, I'm sorry, Minka."
He places his hand on my shoulder and I shrug away from his touch.
"You won't let me touch you? Really?" Owen sits down next to me, dropping his head into his hands. "Tell me what you want me to do? I'm sorry, babe."
I can feel my lip quivering, knowing tears will spill the minute I open my mouth. I feel dramatic, but know how much his actions hurt me and use that to fuel my answer.
"I told you about my past. I told you how I'd been hurt. I was really excited to come here with you. And then I see that....after you don't do more than kiss me and then disappear for an hour. It hurt." My voice comes out unnaturally high and squeaky, hoarse with the unshed tears I'm trying to keep in my eyes.
Owen stands, running his hands through his hair violently. "Fuck. I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry babe, I didn't think. I saw my friends again, and got into the party and the game. Its no excuse. There is no excuse."
A sob escapes me. I don't know why I'm breaking down, but it feels like I've been waiting for this. The other shoe to drop.
"You're this perfect person, everyone wants to include you. I have never been that way. And I don't mind it, being the outsider. But I thought you wanted to be on the outside with me too."
He kneeled in front of me, the fireflies lighting up around us, making his blue eyes sparkle.
"You're not on the outside. You're right where you are supposed to be. You can be wherever you want. That's what I love about you. You don't need those people's validation. And as we both saw tonight, apparently I still do. I'm an idiot, Minka. I should have never left your side. I don't even need those people there. I would be fine living in a four-by-four room with you for the rest of my life. You're all I see. I'm so fucking sorry."
I sniffle, watching as he almost pulls his hair out by the roots. I want to believe him, to move past this stupid situation.
"Tell me what will make this better...I need you to believe me. I am a cocky, arrogant jock who needs people to worship him. I'm a self-obsessed asshole, I don't deserve you. Anything, I'll say anything."
His humor is what breaks me. Its what had gotten me from the beginning. "Well, you are probably right about that last one, you don't deserve me. But I guess I'm here anyway—“ I trail off, wiping the corners of my eyes.
He stares at me, a dead serious expression on his face. "You're right. I don't. I don't know how the hell its possible that I get you, but I thank my lucky stars everyday that you picked me."
Tentatively, he reaches out, checking to see if I'll allow him to touch me. When I don't bite his hand off, he rests it on my cheek. Just that skin to skin contact has us both sighing.
This, being with him, is going to destroy me someday. I know it. But I can’t fight it even if I try.
I see his hair flop over into one eye right before he presses his warm lips to mine. The kiss is aching and so sweetly-tender, it almost has me cryin
g again at how heart-shattering it is.
"I don't know if I picked you as much as I couldn't avoid falling epically." I breath, still nose to nose with Owen.
"Come back with me. Share my bed. I want to show you all the ways I need to make it up to you."
He takes my hand, and I let him. Like a moth to the flame, I'm totally conscience of walking into the fire.
24
Owen
I run my hand through Minka's silky brown hair, fanning the locks across the pillow in the early morning light that cuts diagonal lines of orange into my sheets. And once again, I thank my fucking lucky ass stars that she chooses to be here with me.
I really fucked up with the party at my campus house. Like a total jocktard, I assumed my girl would be fine with letting me wander off to do asinine shit with my buddies until I decided to go to bed with her. I was high off the win, pumped about the season and being back with boys, and I forgot what it was like to be in a relationship.
Scratch that, I'd never been in a real relationship before, one that wasn't just for show.
I'd left her on her own, and I was so fucking stupid and sorry for that. When I'd realized my mistake, it felt like I'd been shot in the chest. I couldn't get control of my heartbeat or breathing, staring up at her hoping to God she wasn't about to end things.
I'd only known her two months, but in that time she'd imprinted herself on my heart. She'd become my rock in the storm that was my life at times. I needed her. Way more than she'd ever need me.
That's why I'd been making it up to her for the past two weeks.
Lucky for me, mom and dad decided on a last minute trip to our house in Sicily, leaving the house virtually empty for the month.
I'd had Minka naked and under me for about a week and a half, trying to atone for my sins.
I was proving myself the way I knew how. In orgasms, food and movie marathons. We'd spent the last 10 days locked in my house, only venturing out for takeout food and the odd change of clothes for Minka.
Since August hit, her pre-college courses were over, and she told the Chief she'd be with Chloe a lot the next few weeks. So far he hadn't asked where she was. And I was shaking in my boots, waiting for that man to come to my door with his gun.
I knew I had fucked up at Grover, and badly. I still saw the apprehension in her eyes, whether it was in between a Netflix episode or over dinner. Anytime that happened, I kissed her.
Not that I also hadn't verbally apologized. Many times. I'd said sorry more times than I could count. Because I truly was.
Minka stirs in my arms, he lashes fluttering at the side of my neck. I have her pulled into my chest, so close I can feel the heat coming off of her amazing breasts.
I can't help but skim my hand over the arch of her smooth back, cupping her perfect ass cheek when my hand makes it there.
I've spent the past two weeks worshiping her body. Studying her responses.
I’ve learned that when I press my lips to that certain spot on the inside of her thigh, she convulses, like her body can’t take the intense sensation.
And when I whisper dirty words into her ears as I stroke gently into her, her entire body blushes. My shy girl. But I also feel her soak my cock, my way of knowing just how much that turns her on.
Or that when I kiss her so thoroughly and completely, our lips molding into one and others, I can feel my heart escaping from my chest to go join hers. Because she owns it now.
I didn't want to wait any longer for her to wake up. Even though we'd been up until the early hours of the morning, and it was still only eight o'clock, I want her again.
Pulling her closer, I grind my dick against her bare stomach and light up her neck with warm, wet open-mouthed kisses.
"Ughhh," she groans.
"Good morning beautiful." I smile into her neck.
"Go back to bed. You're a sex fiend..."she sighs, not doing a thing to move away from my ministrations.
I’ve been meaning to ask her about an idea I'd been having. I know it will help clean up my mistake at Grover. Minka loves to pretend she’s a hard, ball-busting woman, but I knew better. She’s a romantic at heart. This would clear my name.
"So I've been thinking..." I get down to her eye level. "I want to take you to the fair next week."
Her closed eyes fly open suddenly, warmth and admiration flowing out of them. "You want to...take me...to the Freeboro Fair?"
"Yes." I smile, knowing this would be her reaction.
The Freeboro Fair was the end of summer festival held by the county. Growing up, it was the place to take your girlfriend or boyfriend, to show off your relationship. I knew it was probably a corny date idea, but it was romantic if nothing else.
"So, you'll be my date? To the carnival?" She tries to clarify.
"No, I'm going to be your fair slave, you can drag me around on a leash..." I break off when she flicks my abs. "Yes, I want to take you, Minka Braxton, my gorgeous girlfriend, to the fair."
"Ok." She breathes, smiling shyly and blushing. It was getting me harder.
"Good. Now let's talk about the date I want to have right now." I flip her over, slithering down her body while we smile at each other.
25
Minka
Owen runs around to my side of the car, exaggerating as he opens my door and sweeps his hand out to the side like a car model. I roll my eyes but take his outstretched hand, all the while little butterflies exploding onto the side of my stomach lining.
“Your wish is my command, my queen.” He bows before taking my hand, lacing his fingers through mine.
“This won’t be half as much fun if you’re embarrassing me. You’re supposed to be my carnival slave for the night.” I pout and swat at him, but can’t help the huge grin blooming across my face.
“Baby, I’ll be your slave any night of the week.” He winks good-naturedly, but I can see the obvious heat in his eyes. “Although, being a carni might be weirdly kinky...”
“I’m going to vomit.” From behind us, I hear Farris grumbling.
I’d suggested a double date of sorts and had asked Chloe to come. She hadn’t been able to break through Miles’ newly tough exterior yet, and Owen seemed genuinely worried about his friend.
Miles had been in a major slump after the breakup, and it seemed that slump would continue. The back seat had been completely silent almost the entire ride over, and it wasn’t for Chloe’s lack of trying. Miles wouldn’t even look at her, much less indulge her in any kind of conversation. I felt kind of bad for strapping Chlo with the grump all night, especially since I knew how she felt about him.
But I’d sacrificed much more for her in the past. Plus, this was my night to live out the original high school fantasy. Owen Axel, my boyfriend, was taking me to the Freeboro Fair.
Freeboro County housed Mitchum and four other towns, and every year in late August they got together to throw a big carnival smack dab in the middle of the town lines. The fair had gotten more popular in our minds as we’d grown up; starting in middle school, if you had a boyfriend, you’d come to the fair together to show off, ride the ferris wheel, and generally just be “in love.”
I knew it was a dumb tradition, but I’d never had someone take me to the fair. Much less someone I loved. Although I hadn’t told Owen I loved him yet. Even though I’d come so far from where I had been at the beginning of the summer, really where I had been for the past two years, I couldn’t take that last leap.
Saying I loved him scared the crap of out me. What if he didn’t say it back?
Sure, my head was getting away from me. Amped up, cliched expectations about my first boyfriend-girlfriend experience at the fair were making me turn into Chlo, my hopeless romantic best friend.
“Ok , so what should we do first?” Chlo was trying even harder than usual to be peppy, and I cringed inside at how awful this night was probably going to be for her.
“Who cares? This is lame, can we go now?” Miles grumbles, kicking dirt around with his shoe
. Epic cringe.
“No way man, we are escorting these two beautiful ladies around the fair! Now kick your sorry ass into gear and ask your lady if she wants to take a whirl on the ferris wheel.” Owen massages Miles’ shoulders as if he was a boxer, getting ready to go into battle. Chlo shot me a death look.
“That sounds like a great idea!” I burst, way too enthusiastically, trying to cajole all of the party members involved. Chlo just rolls her eyes at me, but both she and Miles relent.
As we make our way over to the line at the bottom of the big turning wheel, Owen slings his arms around my shoulders. It was a move I’d seen a hundred times from a hundred couples, but I’d never truly known what it meant to be at home in another person’s arms until him.
And the fact that he and I were together, at the Freeboro Fair? My heart was nearly exploding. The past couple of months just didn’t feel like my life. I’d lost all confidence in myself sophomore year, and Owen had been the one to restore it. He’d shown me the way, and also showed me that not everything is as it seems.
While three years ago I would have laughed in your face and told you to fuck off if you told me I’d be dating Owen, I’d completely misjudged him.
We squished into the two-seater, which was not easy when you have a 200 pound demi-god next to you, and belted ourselves in, with Chloe and Miles taking to seat behind us. As the car begins to climb, Owen wraps me in his arms, whispering in my ear.
“You look so beautiful tonight, you know that?” I blush at his unexpected words. Of course Owen was a charmer, but I think he knew what tonight meant to me. Ever since our weekend at Grover, he was trying extra hard to bestow all kinds of confidence and compliments on me.
His whole support mission had really started when I’d confessed my sophomore year scandal at the beach though. Ok, so I hadn’t explicitly told him about Gregory, but I knew he understood. You couldn’t live in this town and not have heard about what had gone down my sophomore year.
“I could get used to this slave thing.” I rib him, not wanting to take the compliment.
Pitching to Win (Over the Fence #1) Page 18