by R. L. Naquin
Maybe once Tahm realized I wasn’t worth the effort, he’d forget his stubborn need to follow through with an engagement neither of us had asked for. It wasn’t like he was going to wake up one morning and fall in love with me. Love was all on my side of the equation. And I’d far rather be alone than married to someone who saw me as a burden and a duty. Eventually, he’d give up and go home.
Right?
I took a deep breath, let it out and climbed into the driver’s seat of my pickup truck. We had a job to do. Cohesive or not, this was my team, and I was in charge. I had to pull myself together.
Sirens sounded in the distance, warning me to skedaddle. Banshees looked human, even at an autopsy, so there was no reason to hide the body. The local OGRE (Oversight and General Rules Enforcement) squad would have received an alert similar to the one we had. They’d take over from the humans later. We’d be better off not being at the scene when they arrived.
I turned the key and put the truck in gear. “Ash, GPS me some pancakes. We need to have a family meeting and make a new plan.”
Chapter Two
It was a little-known fact that pancakes could save the world. Or at least make people feel better and stop pissing each other off. For a while, anyway.
Ash found us a diner that served all-day breakfast, and the pancakes were plate-size. Mine were covered in chocolate chips, bananas and a fluffy cloud of whipped cream. Ash’s were embedded with swirls of cinnamon.
Tahm’s pancakes were, naturally, a bowl of fruit and a ham-and-cheese sandwich. Because Tahm’s middle name was not Fun. I suspected his underwear might be labeled with the day of the week inside the waistband. The best-looking guys always seemed to have the worst flaws.
When I was a kid, he’d been a lot more fun. He and my brother had played pranks on each other. He’d loved dogs and had helped me with my history homework, making funny voices for the different historical figures. I’d adored him then. Now, my heart still sped when he looked at me, but I wondered if it was because of the image I’d carried with me for so many years, or if it was something else. Could a person really change that much on such a basic level?
Maybe I needed to get to know him as much as he needed to get to know me.
I watched the careful way he took a bite of his sandwich, then wiped his mouth with the napkin from his lap. “The first thing we’ll need to do is set up a home base.” I cut a perfect pancake triangle with the edge of my fork and stabbed it. “We also need to check in with the boss man and let him know what happened. He won’t be happy, but that’s Art’s permanent state anyway.” I shoved the bite in my mouth and chewed, letting the warm chocolate chips melt on my tongue.
“On it.” Ash sat with her phone next to her plate, tapping in info with one hand while taking bites of her late breakfast. “There’s a Hidden-only boarding house not far from here. I already filled out the request form, and I’m waiting for a response.” She took a sip of milk and smiled. “Art’s your problem, though. I’m not calling it in.”
Tahm set down his fork and stuck both hands in the air. “Not it.”
I stabbed another cluster of pancake triangles and dragged it through the whipped cream. “It’s okay. He doesn’t scare me.” That was the truth. Art had never yelled at me, no matter how crazy I acted. He’d never made me do anything humiliating, and he’d never grabbed my ass. As bosses went, Art was a fantastic employer.
“He scares me.” Ash frowned as she chewed. “He’s, like, the head of the entire Hidden government.” And yet, before she worked for him, Ash had once called Art and talked him into giving me a raise. The girl was more fearless than she realized.
I shrugged. “The government’s not that big these days.” I gave Tahm my sweetest smile. “So, Ash is making us reservations, and I’m calling HQ. What are you doing?”
He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I’m thinking up a plan.”
I scooped a forkful of cream. “Excellent. What’s the plan?”
“Well, I’m thinking we hit the local Hidden community and find out who that banshee was in life. She may have gone straight back to her own house.”
I nodded. “Good thinking. We can do the same with the goblin we’re chasing. We’ve got the date she died. The OGREs around here should have a record.” I put my fork down without eating the whipped cream. I’d eaten too much already and felt queasy. “Ash, how are we coming on that room?”
“She just texted me. We have three rooms waiting at the boarding house. She’ll have them ready by the time we get there.”
“That was fast.” I raised an eyebrow in suspicion.
Ash finished her milk and wiped her mouth. “I think HQ already gave her a heads-up. I got the feeling we were already expected.”
Art was always two steps ahead. I missed working freelance as a soul chaser. I only ever had to answer to myself back then. But man, working as a salaried employee had its perks. No longer having to live in roach motels was a huge one. Knowing that someone had my back was another.
Also, there were pancakes. No matter how queasy I felt from eating too much, pancakes beat the tar out of ramen made from the hot water tap in my motel bathroom. A regular paycheck was a hell of an incentive to give up a little freedom to wander.
In fact, I was in such a great mood, I paid for everybody’s meal.
I could be a good boss, too.
* * *
It had been a long time since I’d seen Hidden folks in their own environment. Out on the street, at their workplaces or in their cars, Hidden all looked like humans now. It was a wonderful change in the world that meant, despite still being referred to as Hidden, non-human creatures could go anywhere and do anything humans could.
My friend Maurice, who was a closet monster and couldn’t go out in public before, was finally able to take a trip to Las Vegas with his girlfriend, Sara. She used to be human but had become a demon and definitely couldn’t go out in public as herself without terrifying people. In fact, she’d nearly had to sell her house and move into a closet with Maurice.
For the record, I thought her gold skin and silver horns were beautiful.
When the world shifted, the Hidden were able to look human and go out into the world they’d been denied for centuries.
Wonderful as that was, I loved the diversity of the Hidden. Sure, if I looked at them just right, I’d catch a glimpse of their true selves, but I missed seeing it all the time.
When we stepped inside Miss Angelica’s boarding house, all pretense and disguise was gone. Every Hidden in the place wore their own face and form. It was glorious.
Miss Angelica herself was a bridge troll. She was short and round, and her dark skin had sparse, wiry hairs poking out all over it. When she spoke, her voice was rough and low, and moss that had grown in the creases of her neck puffed out in small bursts of dust.
She was magnificent, and I hugged her the minute the door was closed behind us.
“Oh. My goodness.” She hugged me back and patted my arm. “Aren’t you sweet?” She glanced at the other two, who stood apart from me with wary expressions. She let go and held me at arm’s length to give me a once-over. “Hmm. You look human.” She held my hands out so my arms stretched to the side. She frowned. “No, don’t tell me. Let me figure it out.” She sniffed the back of my hand. To my surprise, she stuck out the tip of her tongue and flicked it over my knuckles. “Can’t be too careful, you know.”
I stood still for her perusal. She had, after all, said not to tell her. The saliva drying on my knuckle was a little much, though. I wanted to wipe it off in the worst way.
She smacked her lips and tilted her head back, considering, still clutching my hand. “Tastes like...djinn.”
I grinned. “That’s amazing. You could tell that by how my hand tastes?”
She laughed. The sound was far more melodic than I’d expected. “Don’t be silly
.” She flipped my hand over and pulled my bracelets away from the two gems embedded in my wrist. “I felt your magical doohickeys there. But I love how gullible you are.”
“That’s cheating.” I leaned closer. “But I love how resourceful you are.”
She winked at me. “Are all of you djinn?”
I nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
She waved a dismissive hand. “Please. Don’t ma’am me. I’m Miss Angelica or I’m Angel. Never ma’am.” As she spoke, she waved at us to follow her up the stairs. “Your rooms are up here. You’ll share a bathroom between you, and there are a few others also assigned to it as well. I have plenty of bedrooms here, but not enough bathrooms, unfortunately.”
We picked up our suitcases and climbed the stairs behind her, leaving a dryad, two pointy-eared elves and a large dwarf watching us from a communal sitting area.
Miss Angelica pointed at the bathroom on the way past it. “I used to divide the bathrooms by gender, but these days that’s both complicated and, if you ask me, immature. I should think you folks know better than to walk in on someone, regardless of their gender. And I’m equally certain I don’t have to tell you not to leave a mess for the next person.”
Ash tossed me an amused look, then clamped her lips together as if she were afraid she might laugh. That was probably a good idea. I had a feeling Miss Angelica would be a gracious hostess as long as we behaved, but I doubted she’d take any crap from anybody.
“I promise you, you’ll barely know we’re here.” Tahm gave her a dazzling smile that would melt the knees of any woman lucky enough to be on its receiving end.
She paused, frowned and moved on, unfazed. “These three rooms are yours. No after-hours shenanigans or parties, please. I run a clean, wholesome establishment. No outside alcohol. If you want to imbibe, you may purchase drinks at the bar on the main floor between six and eleven. I serve breakfast and dinner on the sevens, but lunch is on your own. Poker games are from eight to ten. The buy-in is two hundred bucks, except on Wednesdays when it’s five hundred and Thursdays when we play D&D.” She opened first one bedroom door, then another, turning the light on in each.
The three of us exchanged expressions of shocked amusement.
I struggled to find the right words. “That sounds...fun.”
“Just watch out for those two.” She lifted her chin in the direction of two closed doors across from ours. “Leprechauns. They’ll clean you out the minute you’re not paying attention.” She opened the last of our doors and flipped on the light. “There you go. I’ll leave you to get settled. As I said, dinner’s at seven. Welcome to Harpy House!” She smiled and left us standing in the hallway staring at each other.
“Well, that was...interesting.” Tahm poked his head into his new room. “Looks clean enough.”
Ash claimed the room at the end of the hall. “I’m going to chill for a bit. Give me a knock when you need me.” She closed the door. A thud from her suitcase hitting the floor echoed from the room, followed by a violent squeak of bedsprings. It sounded as though she’d taken a running leap.
I noted how easily I could hear her in her closed room, then grimaced thinking about the phone call I needed to make. No doubt, my end of the conversation would be audible to the entire floor.
Sighing, I gave Tahm a small wave. “Guess I’d better let Art in on our status. Wish me luck.”
One corner of Tahm’s mouth lifted in a half smile. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry I let the banshee slip away.”
“It’s okay.” I blinked to keep my eyes from focusing on the line of his jaw and the way a tiny dimple formed on the smiling side of his face. “I distracted you. And Ash was right. We should pay more attention to the manual. Or at least to Ash.”
The tiny dimple on the other side of his face appeared. “I’ll do my best to listen to her in the future.”
“Thank you.” I stared at him for an awkward moment while I wondered about the girl I imagined he’d left back home in the djinn world in order to chase me halfway across the country. Tahm’s honor was more important to him than anything else in this world or the other. He couldn’t have been alone all this time. A hundred years was a long time to be by yourself. I knew it better than anyone.
I shook my head to clear it. He wasn’t pressing the arranged marriage thing yet, but I was certain he would eventually. I was lucky he hadn’t dragged me back home already. For now, runaway souls and murder were my main concerns. And more immediately, calling Art.
Marrying the love of my life when he didn’t love me was a problem for another day.
I slipped into my new room and set my suitcase on the chair by the door. The room was nice, in an old-fashioned sort of way. An antique-looking dresser with a mirror stood by the window. The chair next to me where I’d placed my things had a wooden frame, and the cushion was upholstered in avocado velour. A small brass bed was covered in a white, bumpy chenille bedspread that looked a lot like a grandma’s bathrobe.
Cozy.
I pulled out my phone and sat on the edge of the bed. The frame squealed like a double-crossing whistle-blower I knew back in the twenties. Some people just couldn’t hold their gin without running their mouths. I paused with my finger over Art’s number. What was that guy’s name? Stan? Rick? Mort. It was Mort. Mort Springhouse.
What a shame that had been. I’d escaped from the Master’s prison box and crossed paths with Rudy Two-Toes in Memphis. I’d helped him run his floating gin joint for weeks before that rat Mort had ruined it all and sent me back on the run.
What a shame.
I stared at the phone in my hand and sighed. I’d better get the call over with. I hit the number and listened to it ring until Art picked up.
“Tell me you’ve got something good to report.” That was Art. Not even a hello.
“Absolutely. I’m calling to report that we’ve arrived in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, and we’re all checked in at Harpy House.” I tried my best to sound positive and cheery. Not hard, since that was my normal setting. “Do you know they run a poker game here every night?”
He didn’t answer right away, but I could hear him breathing. Finally he spoke in a quiet, almost tired voice. “Kam, what did you do? What are you trying not to tell me?”
I leaned forward on the bed and let my dark hair fall forward in a privacy curtain that kept nothing secret but made me feel a little better. “Well, we were going to check out Felicia’s original pickup location.”
“Uh-huh.” The click of a pen traveled through the phone, letting me know Art was getting agitated. The faster the clicks, the more stressed I was making him. So far, I’d only heard one click. Not too bad.
“We got a call for a new pickup, so we had to postpone. See, Art? Combining the reapers and the chasers is a lot. It’s easy for us to lose our focus when we get sidetracked on another, totally unrelated job. I’m honored you made me the very first, but maybe we should rethink this experiment.”
Click-click. Click-click. “Out with it. What happened?”
“Well...she got away.”
The clicking grew faster, then stopped altogether. “Kam, you know you’re the reason I drink.”
“I’m really sorry, Art.”
“You’re an experienced chaser. How the hell did you lose her?”
I rubbed my forehead. “She was a banshee. I wasn’t prepared. It won’t happen again.”
As team lead, I wasn’t about to throw my trainee under the bus. Besides, I was the one who’d distracted him. And, as the lead, I should have been prepared with all the information I could find on our subject. And I should have listened to Ash when she’d tried to give me that information.
Yep. It was all me. I’d screwed up.
Art didn’t scold me, though I could hear the restraint in his voice. “Well, now you’ve got eighteen souls to bring in. I’m sure you’ll get it done.”
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br /> “We will.”
“Let me know how it’s going.” He paused for a moment. “And keep the expenses to a minimum. I’m not paying for booze or gambling.” He hung up without saying goodbye. That was fair. He’d never said hello.
I blew out a lungful of air and flopped backward on the bed. “Well, that went pretty well.” I stared up at the ceiling, trying to decide which soul to track first.
The overhead light wasn’t bright, but it was pretty. The bulb was encased in what looked like a small birdcage made of brass. It hung from a brass chain dangling from a hook. I squinted to see it better, but something between us smudged the air. As I watched, the smudge became more solid, a round orb about the size of a golf ball. A dot on the side grew bigger, then turned blue around the edges.
The dot on the side pointed itself toward me and the whole thing blinked, eyelashes and all, before it disappeared.
“Aah!” I scrambled up from the bed, yelling and backing into the door.
Someone tried to open the door, but I was in the way.
Tahm stuck his head in the opening. “Kam. Kam, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
I moved to the side so he could come in, and Ash followed close behind. “An eyeball.” I pointed to the spot near the ceiling. “A disembodied eyeball appeared out of nowhere. It was looking at me.”
I’d seen a lot of weird shit over the years. Most things, I took in stride without getting freaked out. Excited, sure. But not freaked out. But I drew the line at floating body parts, especially when they looked at me.
Tahm searched the room while Ash and I stepped into the hall to give him space. Ash held my hand and didn’t try to offer any inane words of reassurance. She was probably on edge, too.
“What’s going on up here?” Miss Angelica stood at the top of the stairs with a toilet plunger in her hand. Whether she intended it as a weapon or she was there to unclog the toilet, I wasn’t sure.
Tahm appeared at the door, scratching his cheek in thought. “Do you have any ghosts in residence, ma’am?”