“That’s amazing, Bryce. How old were you when it started?”
He pauses for a minute, “Eleven or twelve. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my parents. They would’ve thought I was crazy.” He smiles and tugs my hand, helping me onto the cable car.
I’m in complete awe of his talent. When Jodi let us preview The Bridge’s article about Bryce, I got the idea that his vision at such a young age made him who he is today. Pure genius.
We end up by Ghirardelli Square, hot and tired, for a much needed ice cream sundae. Mmm, I love their chocolate. If only I could drizzle this on his . . . Wow, talk about wayward thoughts. I have an idea to get my mind out of the gutter.
“Why don’t we ask each other a series of rapid fire questions,” I propose as we walk toward the water after finishing our sundaes.
“Always curious.”
“Like a cat. Ready?” I ask. He only answers with a nod.
“When’s your birthday?”
“May 7th. You didn’t know?”
“Yes, but I wanted to hear it from you. Now, favorite color?”
“Blue, all shades but I’ve acquired a recent attraction to red.”
The burning sensation on my cheeks spreads to my ears and neck. It’s all I can do to hide my grin. I continue, “Favorite food?”
“Pizza.”
“Favorite drink?”
He shrugs, “Beer, wine, water. It depends on my mood and what I’m doing.”
“What are things you like to do when alone?”
“That would be telling now wouldn’t it?” He stifles a laugh.
“You’re not playing fair.”
“I never do.”
“Childhood pets?” I ask in a huff.
“A dog, a cat and a turtle. Oh, I also had a goldfish. I couldn’t prove it, but I know the cat ate it,” he says, humor evident in his voice.
“What’s your biggest regret?”
“Not meeting you sooner.” He sweeps me into his arms, one hand on my face, tilting it upward as his lips brush against mine. On instinct, my body reacts and I melt into his embrace.
“Your turn,” he whispers in my ear. He locks our fingers together as we continue our stroll. “When’s your birthday?”
“March 4th.”
“Favorite drink?”
“White wine.”
“Favorite food? And ice cream doesn’t count.”
“Fine. Pasta with spicy sausage.” That earns me a surprised look. “What? I like spicy foods. Next question.”
“Pets?”
“I had a cat and wanted a dog, but with mom’s busy schedule and mine, we wouldn’t have given it the attention it needed.”
“Morning or night person?”
“Night.”
“If you had a superpower, what would it be?” He asks this with amusement.
“Invisibility.” He looks impressed. “Imagine, walking among all these people, and no one can see you. The ultimate hide and seek.”
“I’ll always want see you.” The strong conviction behind his words makes my heart skip a beat.
With the gentle glow of the horizon as our backdrop, we face the bay, wrapped in each other’s arms, lost in our own thoughts. The sky’s a beautiful dark blue with pink and purple swirls against the orange and yellow of dusk, a perfect color pallet as the fading sun reflects off the water.
As much as I don’t want to, I break the comfortable silence. “This weekend has been perfect. Thank you.”
“Yes, it has.” His grin couldn’t get any bigger. Our bodies are so close that not even a whisper of wind could come between us. As our lips meet, the wild, hungry energy raging throughout me screams for nourishment, a sustenance which only he can provide. His searing kiss, like a discarded match, alights anew every cell of my body. His erection pressing against me tells me he feels it too.
We’re in public, and reluctantly slow our mutual assault. I can’t tear myself away from his probing gaze as we drown in our own secret thoughts. For a brief moment, he has a distant stare, but then it’s gone.
With a heavy sigh, he says, “I’ll be gone all week.” His statement snaps me out of my musings.
“Oh? I thought it was only for a couple of days.”
“It was, but I have other business to take care of, so it makes sense to do it while I’m there.”
“When will you be back?” I ask with a little too much desperation in my voice. I don’t want to sound needy.
“Friday.” My heart sinks at the thought of not seeing him this week. I’m starting to miss him already. How can it be, I miss someone when I’m standing here wrapped in the warmth of his arms?
“That’s not too long.” I don’t believe a word that just came out of my mouth.
“It’s going to feel like an eternity,” he says, tightening his arms around me. Maybe him being gone is the space I need to get my head together and figure this out. Whatever this is.
“You know it’s not like it used to be in the ‘old’ days. I mean there’s email, cell phones, text and even Skype. You know, all that modern technology,” I reply trying to lighten the mood.
“I want to see you when I get back.”
“I’d like that. How about Saturday?”
Caressing my face, he says, “That’s one day too long. My plane gets in at four on Friday. I’ll make reservations for dinner and pick you up at seven.” Talk about taking control! And now I can’t wait until Friday.
“Sounds like a plan.” Releasing his hold around me, we walk back to the car, hand in hand.
Bryce pulls up outside my house too soon for my liking. He comes around to open my car door. Ever the gentleman. When we reach my front porch, he leans into me, his forehead against mine as he holds me close against him. I like this contact. Strong and powerful, yet gentle and soothing. I don’t know if it’s because I won’t see him all week, or the feel of his body heat, but I have an urgent need to grab onto him, bring him into me and not let go. Wrapping my arms around his neck, bringing my lips to his, our mouths cling together, our tongues in a frantic search for each other.
He moans softly, then pulls away from me. “If I don’t go now, I’m going to take you right here on your porch.”
“Bryce, I’m sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on.”
“I don’t. I know after our talk, it’s going to happen when you’re ready. I respect you enough to wait. It’s painful at times, but I can.”
I do want him. Everything inside me screams that I want him and that I’m ready. Why am I dragging my feet? I’m surprised I haven’t sprained my neck going back and forth about it. “I know, and I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know.” He kisses me again and waits until I’m inside before he leaves.
A sense of dread washes over me. I know I’ll have to confront Steven, and I’m not looking forward to that conversation. I feel closer to Bryce after our talk today, but my hand was forced by Steven’s disclosure, and that’s not okay.
#
Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I head toward the kitchen where I hear the clatter of pots and pans. Might as well get it over with. As I walk in I see Steven cooking like a madman. He does this when he’s stressed. He turns and sees me. “Hi,” he says sheepishly.
“Hi. What are you doing?”
“I baked a cake.” Whenever he knows he’s fucked up, he always bakes.
May as well dive in headfirst. “Steven, we need to talk about earlier.”
His voice is strong, and I know he’s going to stand his ground. “I know, but before you rip my balls off, can I explain myself first?”
“Sure. This is a democracy.” I pull out a chair to sit down, facing him.
“Let me start by saying I like Bryce, and I’m sorry how I handled the situation earlier. I don’t, however, think I should apologize for trying to protect you.”
“What you’re saying, is you don’t think you crossed a line?”
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“I wouldn’t call it crossing a line. More like the line wasn’t well defined, more blurred.”
“Really? You can’t come up with something better than that?”
“Ali, try to understand where I’m coming from. This is your first relationship since . . . well, you know. You’re new to this, and there are lots of men out there who will say and do whatever it takes to get what they want. Even if it means acting like they’ll wait until you’re ready.”
“I know, but I don’t believe Bryce is one of them. What you did today potentially could have ruined it.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I will always stand my ground when it comes to you. I won’t apologize for that.”
“It was the wrong way to go about it.” My voice is still stern. “If I have any chance of doing this dating and relationship thing, I have to learn and go through the emotions like everyone else, right? Sure, I may fall or get it wrong, but at least now I’ve put myself out there. I know you’ll be there for me, like you’ve always been, but Steven, please, don’t interfere.”
“I don’t want to see you get attached and then get hurt. I would like to think if your brother were here, he would be as, if not more, protective of you.”
“We can’t speculate on how my dead brother would or wouldn’t protect me. He’s not here, so it’s not a valid point.” That’s a low blow, bringing him up, and he knows it.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I felt it was my obligation to let him know in a round about way, I’ve got your back.”
“Protecting me is one thing. Telling Bryce something happened is entirely something else. Bryce and I are in a good place right now. I want it to stay that way before I cause the bottom to drop out. His interest is now piqued and I’m not ready for full disclosure.”
“If he’s a man worth his salt, then it won’t matter what happened. You need to believe it. If you tell him and he uses that information to hurt you, then he’ll have to deal with me.” There’s no reasoning with him when he gets his mind made up about something.
“If he did, do you think confronting him would make him see the error of his ways?”
“No, but it would make me feel better.”
I’m about to rip my hair out. I may as well be talking to a brick wall. “Why are we talking like it’s already happening? I have enough to deal with without having this be over before it’s even begun.”
“You’re right. We won’t talk about it as though it’s past tense.”
“Good. And I meant what I said.” Looking directly at him as though I’m able to burn my will into him, I hope he gets it. “Good night, Steven.”
“Night, Ali. Love you, Doll.”
“Love you too.”
I’m ready for bed, but decide to load the pictures I took today onto my Mac. As the photos pop up one by one, Bryce shows up in vivid color, larger than life. Now I can take my time to admire him. It’s like looking at a mythological creature, but I know he exists. I swear, some cosmic force is at work, because my phone rings, and it’s Bryce.
“Hi,” he says as I answer the phone.
“Hi. I was just thinking about you.”
“I guess I’m telepathic,” he laughs jokingly.
“Maybe you are. Are you all packed for tomorrow?”
“Yes, I’m all packed. My housekeeper is handy when it comes to that.”
I don’t remember seeing anyone else at his home. “You have a housekeeper?”
“Yes, she comes in five days a week, with weekends off.”
“Oh. I guess it wouldn’t do for you to pack your own things?”
“No. I suck at it. I bet you don’t though,” he says and there it is.
“What? Suck or suck at it?” I hear his sharp intake of breath. Two can play this game Mr. Steede.
“I can’t image you sucking at anything. I can, however, imagine you sucking on things.”
“Maybe one day, if you’re lucky, you’ll find out.” I can’t believe I’m saying stuff like this to him.
“Ali, you’re killing me here,” he replies softly.
“Where are you Bryce? It sounds quiet.”
“I’m in my bed, wishing you were here. I meant what I said this morning. Waking up next to you is something I hope to do again soon.”
“Next time we go running in a rain storm, maybe.”
“That could take forever.”
“You’ll have to keep an eye on the sky.”
“There’s only one thing I want to keep my eye on. I wanted to call and say good night, Ali.”
“Good night, Bryce. Have a good flight tomorrow. I know you’ll be busy, so call me when you can.”
“I’ll miss you. Goodnight.”
I go back to looking at Bryce’s photos, outlining his face with my fingers, daydreaming of running my hands through his thick, unruly hair while he hovers over me. I miss him already, and can’t wait until he gets back.
CHAPTER 18
Limbs outstretched like a cat, I work out the kinks from last night’s sleep. I’m glad it’s Wednesday, but on top of my busy schedule, I have an appointment with my doctor this afternoon. I hope she can figure out what the pain in my abdomen is all about and get it taken care of.
I haven’t heard from Bryce since late Sunday evening, and that was only a text saying he landed. I know he’s a busy man and didn’t get where he is today by keeping everyone up to date on his schedule. He’s seeped into my mind and consumed my thoughts. I find it hard to concentrate on work. On breathing. On . . . being.
“I was just thinking about you,” I say as I answer on the first ring. It’s good to hear his voice.
“I bet not as much as I’ve thought about you,” he answers back.
“Am I on speaker phone?” I can tell because it sounds different.
“Yes, it’s easier this way. You know, to talk. Where are you?”
“Still in bed. I have a few minutes before I have to get up.”
“What a coincidence. I’m in bed, too. Alone.” He sounds frustrated. “I woke up thinking about you.”
I smile at the thought. “You’re on my mind, too. How’s your trip?”
“It’s going well. I was hoping to come back tomorrow, but one of the meetings has been pushed back, so I don’t think that’s possible.” I hear the disappointment in his voice.
“Friday will be here before you know it.” I pretend to be upbeat but I’m as disappointed as he sounds.
“What are your plans for today?” he asks.
“Oh, you know, the typical photo shoot. But this time our subject is cooperative. Those are the ones I like doing best.”
In the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard, he says, “I can be very cooperative. I’ll show you when I get back.”
“Now that should be something to experience.” I know where this conversation is going, and once again, his charisma draws me in. He’s not the only one who’s frustrated.
“I miss you, Ali.”
“I miss you too, Bryce.” I miss him more than I thought I would.
“You do?” he asks, sounding as though he needs reassurance from me.
“Yes. I can’t stop thinking about you. I find it difficult to concentrate on anything else.”
“You’re on my mind from the minute I wake up until the minute I go to sleep. I need you, Ali.” His unfamiliar words startle me.
“You need me?”
“Yes, I do. I want you to be the first thing I see in the mornings.”
“Oh, so that’s all you ‘need’ me for. Of course.” I fail miserably trying to sound upset.
“I thought it was you who only wanted me for my body. I guess we’re at a draw?” he jokes. “No, that’s not all I need or want you for. Would I like us to take it to the next level? Yes, but only when you’re ready. It’s only a small part of the reason I need you. Well, not small.” I know exactly what he’s talking about.
I hear him panting and I
’m sure he’s touching himself. I don’t know why, but the thought of him jerking off, while talking to me, turns me on and I feel empowered. I don’t know if it should, but fuck it – I’m not a complete prude. Since I have no frame of reference and it’s my first time doing this, I’ll ‘wing it.’
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