"You should not be saying such things to me," she whispered, so stunned by what was happening between them that she could not find her full voice. "Please don't say any more."
His voice was gentle but commanding. Abby could feel the tension in him. "I can't seem to help myself."
All the fight went out of her. She could smell the wonderful spicy scent of him when his chin touched her forehead.
He whispered against her ear, and the sound of his voice seemed to fill her whole being. "Since I first looked into your eyes, Abby, I have been caught in your spell."
Abby struggled to find her voice, and when she spoke it was breathless, as if she had been running a great distance. "Please, no."
Jonah's gaze fell on Abby's mouth and stayed there for so long that she felt as if he had physically kissed her. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and it seemed to Abby that she could hear his heart hammering against his chest.
Her throat choked tight when he touched his cheek to hers. "I want to touch your spirit and make it mine. I'm jealous of every look you get from other men."
She swallowed' twice' before she could answer. "Please don't hold me so close." She swallowed again. "And think of Patricia."
"Don't you think I know I'm hurting her?" he whispered, his breath stirring against her ear. "Do you want to hear how my heart is so filled with you that I can't see other women, not even the one I'm supposed to marry?"
Heat burned through her, and the uneasiness receded, just like the ebbing of a frothy wave. She raised her head and met his gaze, then quickly lowered it when she saw the fierceness in his eyes. His words whispered through her mind, and he didn't miss a step as he released her hand and tilted her chin up to him.
"I can never have you again-you can never be mine."
She glanced across the room at Patricia, who seemed to be deep in conversation with one of the officers' wives.
"Don't worry, Abby," he said, when he saw where her attention was directed. "I will marry Patricia and make sure she never has reason to regret it, but tonight I am saying good-bye to you."
She had never felt such pain.-"Yes."
"I'll never forget how it felt to make love to you, Abby. God help me, I have had visions of a daughter with your green eyes and your wild spirit." He lowered his voice to whisper against her ear, "I want to fill you with strong sons, and when they grow older, let them decide for themselves if they want a military career."
She tried to hold her head up, but it was so heavy. She refused to cry, but she wanted to. "No, Jonah. I can't stand any more."
"What you said to me in the barn that day wasn't right. Tell me you don't believe that."
"It wasn't true."
The dance ended, and Abby became aware of other voices around her. She forced her steps to match Jonah's as he led her across the dance floor.
He whispered near her ear, "I beg you to forgive my actions tonight. I did no honor to you or Patricia." He squeezed her hand. "I just can't seem to find the way to say good-bye to you."
Patricia had watched Jonah and Abby dancing together, and she knew they loved each other. She knew them both well enough to see they were denying their own hearts because they didn't want to hurt her.
She had to do something about the situation, and she had to do it that very night!
"Miss Van Dere," Grant said, coming up to her. "Is this dance taken?"
She was grateful for the tall ranger's appearance. "No, it isn't."
He held his arms out to her. "Then I'm a lucky man."
He was a good dancer and easy to follow. She was silent for a moment, as if she were judging him, and then she asked, "How well do you know Abby?"
"I've known her since she was small."
"She is in love with Jonah."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, "I know. But you don't need to worry. Jonah will marry you."
She - looked up at him. "That would be the problem. You see, Jonah loves her, too."
He smiled sadly, feeling pity for her. She was a breathtaking woman, and yet she was losing Jonah, and she knew it. "What are you going to do about it?"
"Let him go."
He nodded. "It won't be easy. I know-I had to step aside, too."
"You love Abby?"
"Almost." He smiled down at her. "But I could probably love a beautiful woman with the brightest, bluest eyes I have ever seen."
She stared at the handsome ranger, whose teasing had already made her feel better. And he was easy to talk to. "I believe I love the thought of being married to Jonah more than I love Jonah."
"What would you do if I should show up on your doorstep in Philadelphia one day?"
She blushed when he stared into her eyes, and she felt positively giddy. "I would invite you in and then have to fight off all the females who would vie for a place at your side," she answered, a little breathless. She had never thought of any man except Jonah. But this ranger had made her see that she could feel emotions with another man. She could certainly feel the pull of this ranger's charm.
Jonah played his part as host as his guests began to take their leave. Dutifully Patricia stood beside him, grave and pale. He felt a sudden rush of pity for her-she deserved so much better than he had given her so far. But he would make it up to her after they were married.
"The general is having a jovial time speaking to everyone in the room."
"Yes, it would seem so." But Patricia was watching Abby, who was surrounded by people and charming them into laughter.
Patricia touched his shoulder. "I wonder if I might have a moment alone with you when the guests have all gone?"
He nodded. "Of course."
Jonah had escorted Patricia to his office, and she now stood in front of the window that looked out on the parade ground. He watched her for a moment and went to her, placing his hands on her shoulders.
"Do you want to tell me what's bothering you? Although I think I have already guessed."
She turned to him with a serious expression on her pretty face. "I don't imagine you know what I'm about to say."
He led her to a chair and sat down beside her. "Suppose you tell me."
"is there anything you wish to say to me before I begin?"
"No, Patricia. Unless you have something to discuss about the wedding."
"Jonah," she said, staring at him, "there will be no wedding, at least not between you and me."
He lowered his head for a moment, hating the fact that he had hurt her. "I don't blame you for being angry. I've behaved abominably."
She placed her small hand on his. "Jonah, it's my fault for allowing this farce to go on as long as it has. In all the time we have known each other, you have never once told me you loved me."
He was not going to lie to her now... he never had. "I certainly liked you better than any woman I knew when I asked you to many me."
She smiled slightly. "How noble of you to remember it that way, but you didn't ask me to marry you-the real truth is, I forced a proposal out of you."
"What do you mean?"
"The night just before you were to leave for Arizona, you found me crying in the garden."
"Yes, I remember."
"I threw myself at you, professing my love for you and exclaiming that my life would be desolate without you." She stood up and walked back to the window. "Jonah, being the kind of man you are, you felt compelled to ask me to marry you. I knew that then; I know it now."
"You don't want to marry me?"
She turned to him, her eyes sparkling with tears. "No, I don't. I deserve better than what I would have as your wife. I deserve a man who will love me and look at me the way you looked at Abby Hunter tonight. I want that kind of love from the man I many."
He stood and started pacing the room, ashamed of his ungracious conduct. "Patricia, I don't know what love means. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me for tonight, I will be a good husband to you."
"It's no good, Jonah. I have a feeling love is ea
ting away at your insides right now. I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness and condemn you to a life without love, or me to a husband who doesn't love me."
He wished he could tell her that it had all been a mistake, but he couldn't. "What do you want me to do?"
She touched his hand and slid her arms around his waist, laying her head on his shoulder. "Tell me good-bye."
"I never meant to hurt you."
"I know that. You deserve to be happy, and so do I.11
He held her away from him. "I am sorry this happened. Forgive me."
~'Vou are forgiven. Abby is the right woman for you. She is so full of life-she is gentle and kind, spunky and stubborn. I wish I could be like her, but I never could be." She took a step away from him. "I have seen a change in you since you came to Texas-you came alive here, but the vastness of this place scares me. I want to go home, where my life will be ordered and each day will be much like the one before."
His eyes reflected a deep, piercing pain. "I don't even know how Abby feels about me, Patricia."
She was startled by that admission. All the women of their social circle in Philadelphia had been in love with Jonah. He could have had any woman he wanted. She had never seen him this uncertain about any woman. "Neither of you has confessed your love?"
"Of course not. Not love, exactly."
She realized something deep and meaningful had happened between Jonah and Abby, but they had pulled away from whatever it was because of her. "In trying to do the noble thing, you both turned your back on love. I will never settle for anything less than the deepest love, and neither should you."
He managed a smile. "I can think of half a dozen men in Philadelphia who have already lost their hearts to you."
She laughed softly. "I believe you might be right. In any case, I will be leaving as soon as it can be arranged. I suppose, for the sake of gossip, I should reject you publicly before I leave."
"Are you sure, Patricia?"
"Yes"I am, and so are you."
"The man who wins you for his wife will be fortunate indeed."
She moved to the door, and he walked beside her to escort her back to his quarters. "Yes, he will." She said with a glimmer of humor. "I'm quite a catch."
Patricia had expected to feel completely destroyed when she gave Jonah his freedom, but she didn't. She would miss him-what woman wouldn't? but she was glad she had come to her senses. Perhaps it was as she'd told Grant; she hadn't loved Jonah so much as she loved the idea of being his wife.
They stopped at the door just as the guard on duty called out the hour. "Do you want me to get Abby for you?"
He hesitated, wishing he could have Abby in his arms at that moment. Then he shook his head.
"No. It's late, and I still have paperwork waiting for me."
She stood on her tiptoes and brushed a kiss on his forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Abby heard Patricia enter the room, but she pretended to be asleep. She had been crying, something she had rarely done until she met Jonah-now it seemed to be second nature for her to cry at the slightest provocation.
"Are you asleep, Abby?"
She could not ignore Patricia. "No."
"I need to talk to you, if you aren't too sleepy."
Abby knew what was coming-she had expected it. She deserved everything Patricia had to say to her. "I'm not sleepy."
Patricia lit a lamp and sat down on the foot of the bed. "I will be going back to Philadelphia."
Abby sat up quickly and grabbed Patricia's hand. "No. You mustn't do that! Don't blame Jonah for my bad behavior. I threw myself at him. He's such a gentleman he didn't want to hurt my feelings. You have to believe me; it was all my fault tonight."
"Yes, in a way it is your fault. It's your fault because you are exactly the kind of woman Jonah needs and wants-it's your fault that he is so deeply in love with you, he's miserable."
"He told you that?"
"No. As you say, he is a gentleman. I am the one who did most of the talking tonight. When Jonah was at your ranch he hardly touched me, and when you were in the room his eyes followed you with such... hunger, I could see his pain."
"You are mistaken, Patricia. It's you he wants. After all, he asked you to marry him."
"I almost begged him to propose to me-it wasn't his idea. Until that night I don't think he had even considered marrying me. There were so many women in love with him, Abby. I was just one of them."
"If you love him enough, you could make him happy."
"He would never be happy with me, but he would have gone through with the wedding because that's the kind of man he is."
Abby said nothing, so Patricia continued. "I think I first realized his feelings for you when he insisted on being brought to you when he was wounded. You see, Abby, he didn't even know I was staying at your ranch at the time."
Abby buried her face in her hands. "He doesn't loveme.Heonly... he only..."
Even though she couldn't say the words, Patricia understood what Abby meant. She went to her and hugged her. "My poor little friend, he could have what you are implying with anyone-don't you know that?"
Abby clasped Patricia's hand. "Don't leave him. Don't do this to him. He will be so miserable if you go.
Patricia moved away and blew out the lamp. "He will be more miserable if I stay."
Abby had been unable to sleep. She buried her face in her pillow so Patricia would not hear her crying. She had destroyed any hopes Jonah might have had for happiness-and Patricia, too. She waited for the sun to light the darkened corners of the room before she quietly dressed and left Patricia sleeping.
She hurried outside, frantically seeking Sergeant MacDougall. He had been putting young recruits through their daily drill, so she waited until he had finished and dismissed them.
"Miss Hunter, you're up mighty early after such a late night."
"Sergeant, do you know where Grant Zachary is?"
He heard the desperation in her voice. "Why, yes. He's quartered next to me."
"Would you please tell him I need to see him at once? And please hurry."
"Yes, ma'am, I surely will."
MacDougall watched her hurry away. Everyone was talking about the major and Miss Hunter-about how the major kept staring at one woman while he was engaged to another. But he had known for some time that his commander loved the Hunter gal. Otherwise why would he have been so frantic to see her when he wasn't sure he was going to live?
As far as MacDougall was concerned, Quince's sister was the right woman for his commander.
The young corporal skidded to a stop before Jonah and issued a quick salute. "I'm sorry to interrupt you, sir, but Miss Van Dere told me to tell you that Miss Hunter left the fort this morning with Ranger Grant Zachary."
"She went riding?"
'No, sir-she left."
"Dismissed, soldier."
Jonah blamed himself for hurting Abby with his little display the night before. He could only imagine how she must have felt, and how difficult it would be for her to face Patricia. If there was one thing Abby tried to avoid, it was gossip, and he had certainly brought that down on her head.
Jonah frowned and moved to the window in time to see his father striding across the parade ground. It was obvious from his stiff motions that he was mad about something. And Jonah knew what it was.
The general burst through the door and faced his son. "What in the hell do you mean, Jonah, by what you have done?"
He had been expecting this; he just wondered why it had taken his father so long to seek him out. "I'm in no mood for your accusations, General. Just say what is on your mind, and let me get on with my work."
"What do you mean by allowing Abigail to get away? Don't you know you could lose her?"
Jonah was' struck silent. He had certainly not expected those words from his father.
"I have known for some time that Abigail was the wife for you. I just wondered how long it would take you to realize it. I was certainly concerned
with what your stalling was doing to Patricia. It would have been just like you to marry her, knowing you wanted Abigail. I guess Patricia took care of that herself-she has a real elegance of mind, like a true Philadelphian."
Jonah could hardly believe his father's glowing approval of Abby. "So you have already decided which woman I am to marry just like you decided everything else in my life?"
"Hell, Jonah, you couldn't keep your hands off Abigail last night. Son, you didn't buy that ranch with Patricia in mind, and you know it."
"No. I don't suppose I did." He looked up at the ceiling to gather his thoughts. "I don't even know how she feels about me. After last night she probably despises me."
"Then it's about time you found out, isn't it?"
"I can't leave just now." He shook his head. "Duty first."
"Well, I'm going to be leaving tomorrow to escort Patricia back to Philadelphia, where she belongs. When I return in the spring, I expect there to be a wedding-if you can wait that long-and from what I saw last night, you'd better waste no time in getting Abigail to the altar."
Edmund read Kane's letter for the third time, trying to figure out its meaning; there were so many misspelled words it was hard to tell. He shook his head and stuffed it in his pocket. Kane couldn't write worth a damn, but for him to even make the attempt meant something had happened.
He mounted his horse and rode out of town. Sometime later he arrived at Kane's cabin to find him sitting on the doorstep whittling a piece of wood.
"You sure took your time getting here."
Edmund dismounted. "I had bank business to tend to before I could leave town."
"Yeah. I just bet you did. Foreclosed on any orphans or widows lately?"
Edmund scowled. "It's too hot to play your little games. Just tell me what you want so I can get back to town before dark."
Kane sliced his knife down the wood and sent a chip flying. "I don't know where to start." He aimed his knife, and it went whizzing past Edmund's ear and stuck in the trunk of a tree just behind the banker.
"Dammit!" Edmund said, flinching. "You could have hit me with that knife."
"You were in no danger-I always hit what I aim at.
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