“Of course I believe it. Eddy would not lie.”
“My God, woman, don’t be so naïve. Can you not see, the boy not only committed the crime but now he is attempting to place the blame on his little sister? We must do something to help him before it is too late, and I think I have the answer.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“I have decided to send him to St Joseph’s School for Boys in Glasgow. It is quite expensive, but I have heard they have good results with boys of his nature.”
Gladys could hardly believe her ears. “You must be out of your mind if you think I will allow you to send my son to Scotland.”
“I am afraid you have no say in the matter. I am the boy’s lawful father you know, and it is up to me to shape his character.”
Taking Gladys’s silence as a sign of compliance, James felt rather pleased with himself and poured her a glass of sherry. “Now, my dear, I think we should forget what happened today. I understand that you only wanted to protect the boy,” he said, handing her the drink. “Here you are. I am sure this will make you feel much better.”
Gladys accepted the drink, only to throw it in his face. “Oh, I’m going to protect him, you may be sure of that. I am taking him so far away from here that you will never be able to hurt him again.”
James was both shocked and shaken, but he did his best to remain composed as he slowly took out his handkerchief and wiped the sticky liquid off his face, determined to control his temper before addressing her. “Now, Gladys, you are being very childish. I must admit I was a little hard on the boy, but let us not become carried away. In spite of the details of our marriage, we have managed to build a happy home for the children.”
“How do you think we can ever be happy again after you’ve called Eddy a bastard? I know Dolly heard you, and I would not be surprised if most of the help heard you, too. Edward will be thought of as a bastard for the rest of his days if he remains here.”
“You are making a mountain out of a molehill.”
“I hardly think so, but even if I am, I am taking Eddy and the girls, and we are going to America. You can sit in this room with your treasures, all safe and sound, for the rest of your life, and you will never have to worry about Eddy touching them; he will be miles away living with a father who loves him. And if you try to stop me, I shall see that your reputation in this town is ruined. You can wager money on that.”
James had had enough. This time she had gone too far, and he didn’t bother to curb his ire when he replied, “Oh no, you won’t! You may take your son and Dolly, if she wishes to leave, but there is no way you can take my daughter from me. And I warn you, Gladys, if you attempt such a thing, I shall have the law on you. Damn my reputation.”
“You know it would break Eliza’s heart if Eddy and Dolly were to leave her. It would be cruel to separate them.”
“If you leave, you leave without her. And I doubt very much whether Dolly will agree to go with you either.”
“We shall see!” was all she could think of to say.
It was a sleepless night for both of them. James didn’t want Gladys to leave; her companionship had helped fill a little of the loneliness he felt after Percy left. During the past year, he had thought they were content, if not happy, and that she felt the same. He knew his feelings toward Edward were not as fond as they were toward Eliza, but she was his daughter and Edward was not his son.
Besides, Gladys had spoiled the boy right from the start by her possessiveness, and now the damage was done and Edward avoided him whenever he could. James recalled how the same thing had happened with his son, Horace. His mother had been as possessive of him, and it was only when Horace had moved away that they had gotten to know each other through correspondence. He wondered if the same thing would ever happen with Edward.
But then his thoughts returned to the matter at hand, and after some thought, he convinced himself there was no need to worry. Gladys would never give up all the luxuries she had become accustomed to. Her threats were made in a fit of anger, and after a good night’s sleep, she was sure to change her mind.
Gladys kept her hand on Eddy as she lay in bed, patting his back every time he shook with a sob in his sleep. She was sure she would never be able to feel the same toward James again. She also told herself that the exhilaration she had felt when she told James that she was leaving was not just because she now had an excuse to be with Angelo. Although James had attacked Eddy, Gladys knew he was still a compassionate person in many ways and would never separate her from any of her children. Picturing what it would be like for the four of them aboard ship on their way to a new world, she smiled and kissed the back of Eddy’s head before drifting off to sleep.
To look at James and Gladys the following morning at the breakfast table, one would never guess what a row they had the evening before. They weren’t as cheery as usual, but they were civil to one another. Gladys asked James if she could have a word with him in private, and, thinking she regretted what she had said the night before, he readily agreed. However, once they were alone in the library, he was disappointed when, in a calm and controlled tone of voice, she told him that she was still planning on leaving.
“Before you make up your mind, Gladys, will you listen to a suggestion I have?” He kept his tone calm in accordance with hers, and when she agreed to listen, he continued, “I have never in my life hit anyone before, and I shall never do it again: this I promise. I will admit that I have not made enough of an effort to become close to Edward, but I shall endeavour to rectify that from now on. I only suggested sending him to Scotland to ensure that he receives the best education. You do understand that most boys whose parents can afford it are sent away to private schools, do you not?”
“James, I do not want to argue with you, and I sincerely hope we can continue to be friends, for the children’s sake as well as our own, but you and I both know that you will never care for Eddy as a father should. Angelo loves him, and no school in Scotland can give him the love of a father. We have to leave.”
“Don’t you even care about our daughter? What sort of mother are you to even think of running away and leaving her behind?”
“I love Eliza with all my heart. I really do, but if I have to leave her, I know how much you care for her and that she will be well looked after until I return.”
“By law, I may be able to prevent you from going.”
“Even if you could, it wouldn’t solve anything, James. We would both be miserable and that sort of atmosphere would not be good for anyone. I shall never be able to repay you for all you have done for Dolly and me, but it’s over between us, James. I am truly sorry.”
“Do you really think you shall be content to live over there in near poverty after living as you have the last six years?”
“America is not like England, James, and we won’t be living in poverty.”
“So you say, but I wager you shan’t have servants waiting on you.”
“I know it is hard for you to believe, but although I thought I wanted to become a society lady more than anything else in the world, I was mistaken. I know I wear fancy clothes and have servants waiting on me, but I have never felt truly free. I may have changed on the outside, James, but not on the inside.”
“You mean once a sow’s ear, always a sow’s ear?”
“Someone else said that to me once, and I guess she was right.”
“So you are determined to leave Eliza and run away with a man you are not even married to? What if Eliza becomes sick?”
“She will have Nanny to look after her, and, now that there are ships that take only a little more than a week to cross the ocean, you can send for me.”
“It is all very well to leave your daughter without a mother, but your son cannot live without a father?” he said with a clear note of sarcasm. “If you leave, she shall never forgive you, and mark my wo
rd, Gladys, you will never forgive yourself.”
“I pray you are wrong, James. I do intend to return in a less than a year, so she doesn’t forget me.”
“And what if I forbid you to see her when you return?”
“I do not believe you would do that. I know you too well.”
“Will you be coming home to stay then?”
“I really don’t know. I may feel I can leave Eddy with his father by then, but we shall just have to wait and see. Right now, I have no idea what the future holds. I know we have a lot to discuss before I leave, but it will have to wait. Now I must have a talk with Dolly.”
“Do not forget to tell her that you care nothing for her or her sister. I am certain she will be happy to hear that.”
“Please don’t talk that way, James.”
“I shall talk any way I damn well please! You do not deserve your children, Gladys, and I just may stop you from taking any of them, so do not think you have won, not by a long shot.”
“I am leaving with at least two of my children, James, and you cannot stop me.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dolly decided to allow her mother and James a little privacy to settle their differences, so she and Blossom left right after breakfast to take the children for a picnic. When they returned, she sensed an unusual and foreboding quietness in the house that reminded her of the time her grandfather died.
As loyal as all the members of the household staff were, they weren’t above eavesdropping, and hearing that Gladys was leaving was even more upsetting than the news that Eddy was a bastard, since they had suspected as much. Fearful of what was to come, they went about performing their duties in such a quiet and serious manner that a stranger might have thought there had been a death in the family.
After lunch, Dolly and Gladys left the children with their nanny and went for a walk. Dolly had looked forward to hearing about her mother’s secret, but now the sombre expression on Gladys’s face caused her to feel apprehensive, and she almost wished she hadn’t insisted on finding out the truth.
When they came to the orchard, Gladys sat down on a bench that James’s first wife had had built under a huge cherry tree. Dolly sat on the grass at her mother’s feet and waited patiently for her to begin.
Laying her hand gently on Dolly’s head, Gladys said, “You do know that I love you and Eliza just as much as I love Eddy, don’t you, darling?”
“I suppose so, Mother, but there are times when you fail to show it.”
“I know, and I am sorry. I promise it shan’t be like that anymore. One of the reasons I spoil Eddy is because of James’s lack of interest in him. I know it hurts Eddy’s feelings, and I suppose I try to compensate by giving him too much attention. Do you understand?”
“Perhaps, but I cannot understand why James does not like Eddy. Until he destroyed that book, he has always been a good boy.”
“I wish you would believe that Eddy did what he did for Eliza’s sake, but never mind that now. After I tell you my story, I think you will understand why James feels the way he does and not blame him for his neglect. I just pray you will still love me when I’m finished.”
It took a long time before Gladys finished talking. She omitted nothing but the circumstances of Millie’s death. She tried her best to explain what it felt like to escape from the slums and live in fear of being found out and sent to prison, but she didn’t know words poignant enough. Nor was it possible to fully explain the love she and Angelo shared because Dolly had yet to experience such feelings. Nevertheless, Dolly did have an active imagination, and, at times during the explanation, she showed signs of empathy.
When her mother had finished, Dolly sat without saying anything for a time. She was an avid reader and had read many books, but she had never come across a more intriguing and romantic story. Unfortunately, it was almost impossible for her to associate any of it with the person she had always known as her mother. She had grown up believing her grandmother was a respectable governess and her grandfather a brave captain. Now she learned that they were nothing but drunkards and that her mother had actually killed a person. Surely that woman could not be the same beautiful, gentle woman she had always adored?
She was appalled to learn of her maternal grandparents’ real identity, but it was anger she felt toward Gladys, not pity. She might have felt sympathy for her, and even admiration for the amazing accomplishments she had managed to achieve, if Gladys hadn’t lied to her. Ever since Dolly could remember, she had thought her mother was the quintessence of what a lady should be. Now she didn’t know what to think, but feelings of betrayal overshadowed all other sentiments.
Gladys waited patiently for Dolly to say something, knowing it was a lot for her to digest, but when she did speak, it wasn’t what Gladys had hoped to hear.
“Are you really my mother?”
“Of course I am, sweetheart. Everything I’ve told you is the truth. You have to believe that.”
“I do not know if I can believe anything you say anymore! I really do not know you, do I?” Gladys didn’t know how to answer so she just shook her head as Dolly continued, “I heard rumours about Eddy, but I chose to ignore them, thinking you would never do such a thing. You committed adultery and then lied about that too. Now it seems all you care about is a man you hardly know.”
“Oh God no, that’s not true, Dolly. Please, darling, don’t say that. I love you and Eliza so much. I know all this comes as a terrible shock, and I had hoped you would never have to hear it, but please don’t hate me. I couldn’t bear that. I have told you all this so that you would understand why we have to go to America. If we stay here, Eddy will grow up as a bastard. That is a stigma that he will always suffer. You know that is true.”
“It shall be the same for him in America, shall it not?”
“No. I intend to tell him who his father is and then see to it that he has his father’s name.”
Although Dolly was more of a pragmatist than a romantic, she had never forgotten the wonderful exhibits the Americans brought to the first World Fair in London and the thought of visiting such a place whet her imagination. Besides, what her mother said about Eddy being better off with a father who loved him was beginning to make sense—she would have given anything to have known her own father. She didn’t know if she could ever forgive her mother, but she began to feel a twinge of excitement over the idea of going to America.
“What will happen to James if we go with you, Mother? He would miss Eliza terribly!”
This was the first time she had referred to James by his first name, and she was surprised by how grown up it made her feel.
At first, Gladys was distraught by Dolly’s accusing attitude, but now hearing her say that she would be coming to America too, she gave a sigh of relief. Giving Dolly’s shoulders a loving squeeze, she said, “I’m afraid that Eliza won’t be coming with us, dear. James refuses to let her go.”
Dolly was shocked and jumped up, saying, “We cannot go to America and leave Eliza here!”
“There is nothing I can do about it, Dolly. James will never give her up.”
“Well, I shan’t leave if Eliza is not coming, and I do not see how you can either.”
“It will break my heart, dear, but I have to for Eddy’s sake. Can’t you see that?”
“No, I cannot! Perhaps I could understand it if you were to leave me behind. I am old enough to look after myself, but Eliza? She is only three years old.”
“Nanny will take good care of her, and we shall be back before too long. I promise.”
“Not we, Mother. You may go, but I shall remain here. I shall ask James for a maid’s job, if I have to. And you need not worry about Nanny looking after Eliza, I intend to see to that,” she said angrily. Then, without giving her mother time to respond, she walked away.
Gladys cried out, “Dolly, darling, please come back, please!”
Dolly didn’t answer. The girl had inherited her father’s stubborn streak, and Gladys knew she would never change her mind. She wondered if she would be able to go to America without her. The girl had an assuredness to her that Gladys had always envied, and as close as they had been through the years, there were times when Gladys felt as though Dolly was the mother and she the child.
Even though it had shocked Dolly to learn that she had been lied to for years about her lineage, Gladys was glad she had kept it a secret for all that time because Dolly was as at ease among the wealthy as any other highborn young lady: a trait Gladys knew she could never acquire herself.
Getting up slowly, Gladys experienced her first sense of aging, an unfamiliar feeling of weariness and fragility. For the first time since telling James she was leaving, she wondered if she would be able to do it. She had planned on taking all three of her children, and now she would have to leave two behind.
She looked around at the splendour of her surroundings. The trees were in bloom, and the scent was so lovely that it brought back memories of the first time she found that air could actually smell sweet. Eighteen years had gone by since then, and so much had happened. Her entire life had been a seesaw of ups and downs. There were almost as many happy memories as sad ones. She had worked hard for what she had accomplished, and her rewards were plenty. She breathed the fragrant air deep into her lungs, as though storing it there until she returned. Straightening her back, she held her head high and walked toward the house with the same determined strength that had once saved her life.
Dolly went to find James as soon as she returned to the manor. He was in the dining room having a cup of hot chocolate. Oddly, addressing James by his proper name instead of sir gave her a feeling of maturity, and she came right to the point, stating that if her mother left, she would not be going with her but would remain in England to look after Eliza, if he would allow it.
“Although you are not legally my stepdaughter, Dolly, I have always considered you so, which means you have every right to live here for the rest of your life. If your mother is determined to run away, she shall have to give you and Eliza up. How she can do that, I do not know. I certainly could never do such a thing.”
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