‘Where would you like to start?’ Grace asks, deciding that as the small talk is definitely over they might as well get on. She also determines not to let Betty push her around.
‘Well, I thought that first you can tell me what your job entails. I’ve done some research but I’m after your interpretation. Then we can talk about how you got started, what made you want to do it. Then when I’ve got some background, you just carry on as normal and I’ll take notes.’ Grace nods. ‘I’ll get my Dictaphone and pad and we’ll start.’ Again, Grace nods. Betty gets up and goes to the hallway where she left her massive bag. She tells herself, for the last time before starting, not to be judgemental and then she returns.
‘I thought we’d go into the office. It’ll be better there.’ Grace gets up and leads the way.
She has put a dining chair in there for Betty. Grace sits down on her desk chair and swings it round to face Betty.
‘Fire away.’ She smiles and hopes that she isn’t about to sound like an idiot.
‘How did you first get into honey trapping?’
‘Totally by accident. I’m not sure it’s the sort of job that you would actually aim for, and I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense, it’s just that it probably wouldn’t occur to you to do it. Anyway, I met a private detective one evening and he tried to chat me up, but when he told me what he did, I was more interested in that than in him. So we talked and I asked questions and at the end of the night he told me that I would make a great detective. I pushed him further. After all, I was thinking James Bond and he clearly wasn’t – more Pussy Galore.’ Grace stops and laughs; Betty does too. ‘But when he explained that I would be hired to check out the fidelity of men, I must admit I was intrigued. At first I wasn’t sure, but I took his card and then I thought about it. I hated the job I was doing at the time, so I called him and asked for another chat. There I explained my doubts and he cleared them up. I don’t know what made me finally decide, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I can’t bear men who cheat.’
‘But surely if you’re honey trapping, you’re not so much catching them out, but tempting them?’ Betty’s voice is level; she manages to keep condemnation out of it.
‘No, not really. If a man was going to be faithful he would be, no matter what.’
‘But you’re stunning. You go up to a man, show him some interest and he’s bound to be so flattered, and maybe, just maybe, he will be so flattered he falls. It doesn’t make him a serial cheat.’
‘It’s not about how I look. I work on a number of different levels, sometimes even in disguise. I need to know about the man, how to approach him. It’s not just about looks.’ Grace knows she is being defensive but Betty has already hit on her Achilles heel.
‘Tell me about your clients.’ Betty notices the defensive tone in Grace’s voice and thinks that she protests too much, but she decides to take a gentler route.
‘Fine.’ Grace takes a deep breath. ‘Mainly I am hired by women who suspect their partners of cheating in the first place. I’m not testing guys without foundation.’
‘And can you tell if they’re paranoid or if they have genuine grounds for concern?’
‘Women aren’t paranoid. They act on instinct, intuition, and I believe strongly in that.’ Grace again has snapped, unnecessarily. She smiles by way of apology.
‘Right, well, let’s say that they do have suspicions, wouldn’t it be better to catch them in the act rather than becoming the act?’
‘Some women want to know if their husbands are cheating, others want to know if they would cheat. I serve both purposes for them. It’s a quick way of giving them peace of mind.’
‘Or sending them out of their minds.’ Betty regrets the words as soon as they have left her lips, but she seems to have little control over her mouth in front of Grace. She briefly thinks of Fiona and being sacked, and vows to stop.
‘It’s their decision to hire me. I don’t force myself on anyone.’ Grace is confused about how and why they are where they are. One minute she was talking about how she began working in her profession, the next she is defending it. She looks at Betty; she is confused and angry.
‘Right, well, we seem to be going off the track. Sorry. Can you tell me what it was like when you went to work for this detective and how you trained, et cetera?’
Betty is still cross with herself for betraying her feelings so quickly. She vows, again, to be professional from now on. But as she looks at Grace, she clenches her fists. It is not going to be easy. For some reason she feels an urge to attack every time Grace speaks. Which doesn’t make sense. First, she is a professional, and secondly, she is secure in her marriage. It cannot be that she is threatened by Grace. Can it? Betty grew up being totally insecure. She was bullied and teased and she felt awful about herself. She thought that by being a successful journalist and a successful wife, she had finally conquered the irrational fears that insecurities lead to. Perhaps she hasn’t. Maybe they stay with you for ever.
She feels guilty for the way she is treating Grace. In her world, Grace is like a client and should be treated as such. Betty knows that Grace has done nothing to deserve her contempt.
‘I did have training, you know.’ Grace realises her tone is a little bit sharp, but she is still upset. She tells herself to calm down and be more professional; she doesn’t want Betty to write vile things about her because they had a spat. ‘At first, I learnt a bit about spying techniques, what gadgets were involved and the basic principles. It was more general than just fidelity testing. I learnt how to follow someone, how to bug a phone, all sorts of useful little tricks. Then I learnt about the actual testing part. The woman who taught me is a fidelity tester herself. She has a psychology degree and she showed us how important it is to use psychology when working. For instance, you have to socially engineer the whole meeting, while making it look like the man is the one doing just that. Anyway, we were sent on test cases, which, of course, were set up, but they evaluated your performance. God, I was so nervous when I had my first one, I made such a fool of myself.’
‘How come?’
‘Well, obviously we use assumed names when we’re working, and I forgot the name I’d given myself- my mind went totally blank, which was really embarrassing. It just went downhill from there. But I got better, luckily.’
Both women laugh. Then they look at each other and, remembering where they are, they stop.
‘We also learn, which is very important, how to deal with the clients. The women are our priority and it’s a very disturbing and emotional time for them, so we need to be sensitive, and also we often have to listen to them when they’re upset and try to help them.’ Although this is Nicole’s role, not Grace’s, she hopes that it will make Betty more sympathetic to what she does if she claims it as hers.
‘Like counselling?’
‘Sort of, but that’s all part of it. I’m often giving them news which signals the end of their marriage or their relationship. That needs sensitive handling.’
‘So, how long did you train for?’
‘I went on my first job after a month. I didn’t think I was ready, but once I got there, instinct seemed to take over and I did it. I was jubilant, which is awful, I know, because this guy propositioned me and he shouldn’t have done. But, you know, it was sort of like a performance and I was just relieved that I didn’t mess up. I always thought if on my first job the man had turned me down, then I would have felt that it was my fault.’
Betty is scribbling furiously, but she stops and gives Grace a funny look. Grace thinks she has said the wrong thing. She waits for Betty to attack her again. Betty thinks about saying something, but manages to change her mind. She is so desperate to put Grace down for her last comment, but she is also trying to remember who she is and why she is sitting in Grace’s flat. She is also picturing Fiona’s face. That helps.
‘Do you enjoy your job?’ she asks in a non-condescending way.
‘I think “enjoy” might b
e the wrong term. Do I get job satisfaction? Yes, actually I do. I believe that I am helping women, getting them out of situations which are hurting them. Heartbreak is hard, but it does go away.’ She scowls and remembers that she is not here to witter on. ‘It’s not always easy, that’s for sure, and some nights, after I’ve been on a job and a horrible man propositions me, I get home and feel, not depressed exactly, but a bit sad. It isn’t an easy job, that’s for sure.’
Betty feels that Grace is being totally honest with her, and she can’t help but respect her for that.
‘Tell me about your disguises.’ Safer ground.
‘Well, sometimes men like blondes, and you can see I’m not exactly blonde. So I wear a wig. Also, if I am going back to an area or a bar that I have been in before, then I think it might be safer to wear a disguise. It’s amazing how easily you can transform yourself by changing your hair colour or style. I’ll show you later. I’ve got loads of wigs.’ Grace smiles. For a moment it feels like fun; Betty concurs. ‘Also, sometimes it’s easier to be in disguise because then I become someone else. Does that make sense?’ Grace is surprised by her candidness, but not as much as Betty is.
‘It does.’ Betty checks that the Dictaphone is still whirring, and she makes notes while listening intently. ‘How do you know where to find the man?’
‘Sometimes it’s easy. They are where they tell their partners they’ll be. Other times, the client will narrow it down to a few bars and I’ll have to search. That can be a bit hit and miss, but normally we find them. If they really have no idea – after all, the fact the man might be a cheater shows that he is capable of lying – then someone will follow them from work or home, and then they’ll let me know where they are.’
‘Is it always in a bar or a pub?’
‘Mostly, but not always. I’ve had a job in a gym. That was horrid –I hate gyms. Once I was supposed to be testing a tennis coach, so I had to have tennis lessons, and I was dreadful.’ Grace laughs at the memory.
Betty laughs along with her, noting how animated Grace’s face becomes when she laughs. At first she thought she was expressionless, hard-faced, but when she smiles it is as if someone switches a light on in her face and everything comes to life.
Grace continues, ‘The worst job, really, was at a golf club. I had to learn to play golf, follow this guy’s game and catch him at the bar afterwards. I hate golf.’
At the mention of golf, Betty immediately thinks of Johnny, and her dislike of Grace, for what Grace represents, comes flooding back tenfold.
‘Right, well, that’s good background. I can fill in the gaps as we continue. What if you go about your normal day to day routine and pretend I’m not here?’
Her tone is sharp, and Grace flinches as if she has been attacked. As if that would be possible, Grace thinks, and she reaches over to pick up the phone.
Grace tries but fails to ignore the presence of the woman whose scrutiny she can physically feel; whose disapproval she is aware of and who she really wants to leave her flat. At times, they almost seem companionable, but others, it feels as if they are enemies. She is glad that Nicole has given her a list of people to call, and is bombarding her with emails. At least she can bury herself in work.
Betty takes notes and tries to fade into the background. She listens intently to Grace’s conversations, reads her emails and watches her closely, noting everything. She can’t help but feel sorry for the women who use Grace – perhaps, she thinks, because of how scared she is of losing Johnny. She knows that she trusts him – there is no doubt – but insecurity isn’t always rational, that much she does know. She would give anything not to feel it, but still she does. As do the women that Grace deals with. The one who is going to meet her, the one who is rushing out to put a photo of her husband in the post, the one whose husband Grace will be tempting that very evening. Those poor women have no idea exactly what sort of honey trap they are setting.
At half-past one Grace pauses. ‘I thought I might make some lunch now. Would you like some?’ She is running out of work to do, so she decides to break for lunch and then spend the afternoon going through gadgets.
‘We could go out.’ Betty feels claustrophobic.
‘I’ve got a fresh loaf of bread and some tuna. I could make us sandwiches.’
Betty doesn’t see Grace as the sandwich making type, but she has probably offended her enough for one day. ‘Sure, sounds great.’ She follows her into the kitchen and watches her make lunch.
‘Can I ask one more question?’ Betty is no longer in control of her voice. There is a battle going on in her head, one voice versus another. The one she is trying to quash is stronger. She is afraid of it.
‘You can.’ Grace has her back to Betty.
‘Do you ever sleep with them?’ The voice wins and Betty feels shameful. Whatever happens, Grace doesn’t deserve that. Betty tries to pull it back, but has no idea how. There is a silence for a few seconds as she stops from going too far and Grace is desperately trying to stop her cheeks from burning.
‘No. I’m not a whore.’
Despite Betty’s attempts to apologise, which are genuine, lunch is a frosty affair. As soon as they finish eating, Grace makes a decision. She does not want to have to spend all day and all evening with Betty and her condescending manner. She has had enough. Betty’s last question is still simmering in her head.
‘You know, Betty, I normally don’t work in the afternoon. I probably should have told you before, but I didn’t think. I do all my calls and admin in the morning, then I normally take the afternoon off to do personal stuff and then work again in the evenings, when I’m on a job. Tonight, for example, I’ll probably start getting ready about four, because the man I’m meeting is going to be going out straight from work. I think I know where he’s going – it’s one of two places anyway – and I like to get there early so I can observe him first, before speaking to him.’ She realises she is gabbling but she knows that she wants – no, needs – some time without Betty.
‘OK.’ Betty tries not to let the relief she feels become audible. She is unsure how much more she can take. She is angry that she asked that question, but at the same time, she is angry that Grace is so easily offended. After all, journalists are supposed to ask probing questions and Grace should know that. Betty has her justification and convinces herself that she has done nothing wrong.
‘Why don’t you meet me back here at five?’
It is after two. Betty calculates that if she leaves now, she can go home for a couple of hours before heading back, and she can type up her notes there.
‘Sounds perfect.’
Grace closes the door and feels she can breathe again. Betty made her feel claustrophobic in her own home. She was polite, helpful, interesting even, but Betty made her disapproval crystal clear. Her voice was steeped in it. When she asked Grace the question about her sleeping with clients, Grace wanted to burst into tears. She felt dreadful; she felt bullied. Grace is sensitive to that feeling more than any other because it is what she remembers most of her childhood; people taunting her, teasing her, condemning her for things she didn’t do, just because they could. Betty made her feel like a child being picked on in the school playground, and that was something that not only made her want to cry, but also made her feel sick. It is something she thought she left behind in her old life.
She composes herself and goes to her office to use the phone.
‘Nicole, it’s me,’ she says when she is put through.
‘Is the journalist there?’ Nicole is whispering although Grace has no idea why.
‘No, I asked her to go for a couple of hours. She’s oppressive.’
‘Really, in what way?’
‘She doesn’t approve of what I do. That’s the bottom line. In every question she asks there is an undertone of disapproval. In every answer I give, she looks as if she is going to argue. She even asked me if I slept with the men I’m testing. She thinks I’m nothing more than a common whore.’
‘Oh dear.’ Nicole is the mistress of understatement.
‘I can’t do this.’ Grace hopes she doesn’t sound as if she is having a tantrum.
‘Fine. I’ll call her editor.’
‘What, just like that? You’re not going to persuade me to carry on?’
‘Grace, did you call me so you could let off steam, did you want me to persuade you to keep going or did you want me to tell you it’s OK to quit?’ Nicole is also the mistress of wrong-footing.
‘I don’t know.’ She feels like a baby, a blubber baby.
‘Look, I wanted this because of the publicity, but if she is upsetting you, then we’ll forget it. I don’t want that.’
‘You know, sometimes she’s really nice. And I don’t know if it’s because she’s a journalist or what, but I find myself being really honest and opening up to her. But then she seems to change and almost turns on me.’
‘Does she feel threatened by you?’
‘Maybe. She’s made no secret of the fact that she’s happily married to this guy who sounds like Super husband.’
‘She probably just feels that you and her are in different worlds and could never get on.’
‘Probably. So what should I do?’
‘Did you speak to clients today?’
‘Yes, it was really good. I spoke to the woman whose boyfriend we’re going after tomorrow night. Then I made an appointment to see another woman the following day, like you said. I thought it would be good for the story. But now, I’m not sure. Err rm. I told her to come back here at five today so she could go and watch my job tonight. Maybe I’ll see how that goes.’
‘That’s a very good and level-headed response.’ Nicole offers praise like a mother and Grace basks in it.
‘Nicole, if you had told me you wanted me to carry on I’d have probably called you selfish and stopped it.’
‘I know.’
Agent Provocateur Page 9