‘Johnny, I’m sorry if I bored you with my story. I shouldn’t have burdened you with it.’
‘Don’t be silly, it’s fine. Look, don’t worry. I know that it feels like the financial wilderness, but I’ll sort you out, promise.’ He is so incredibly lovely, she can barely believe that he would marry someone like Betty.
She takes his outstretched hand and shakes it, holding it for slightly longer than she intended.
‘See you Friday,’ he says, smiling.
Grace returns the smile and walks away. She hopes she can feel him watching her as she leaves; she can.
Johnny returns to his office thinking that it isn’t often that he gets a client who looks like that.
Betty is conducting a phone interview with Nessa O’Neill, a relationship therapist, a woman who is paid to sort out people’s romantic lives. As she asks the questions and listens to the answers, she gets a strong feeling that she could do with one. Despite it being only the second week of the bet and despite her confidence that she will win, a tiny particle of worry has managed to lodge itself under her skin. When she feels unbalanced she often looks around her to check that everything is normal and it is. But then she knows that Grace is out there, somewhere, trying to seduce her husband, and that is not.
‘Nessa, do people come to you on their own if they feel their relationship is under threat or just as couples?’
‘They come for all sorts of reasons, but yes, that has happened.’
‘And what do you say?’
‘I say that if you love someone, and they love you, you have to believe in that. If you don’t, then there is very little else.’ Betty smiles as she relays that to herself throughout the afternoon. Nessa made her feel better. She vows to give her a great write-up. Fiona emails her to ask about the bet, as does Alison. She is fine about it, but she soon won’t be if everyone else keeps on. She doesn’t share those thoughts with her boss or her friend but sends them curt emails telling them that as far as she is aware it isn’t even happening. Not quite the truth, but almost. Most of the time she is managing to ignore it. Only sometimes she thinks of it and worries.
By the end of the day, she is desperate to go home to Johnny. To see him, to see if he shows any indication that he has been ‘Graced’. When it is finally time to leave, she calls him.
‘Hi, babes,’ he says. He sounds the same as normal.
‘Hi. I’m leaving work now. What time will you be home?’
‘Ah, well, Matt just called. He wondered if I wanted to go for a quick drink in the City, before we brave public transport.’ Although this is a normal occurrence, immediately Betty feels threatened. She cannot speak. ‘Is that all right?’ he asks.
‘Sorry. Yes, of course. I was just thinking that maybe I’d go for a drink with people from here. See you at home later?’ She curses everyone. Look what they’ve done. They’ve made her paranoid just over a week into the bet. And now that she is paranoid because of them, not because of her trust in Johnny, she is going to start driving herself mad.
‘I’ll be back by eight.’
She hangs up, grabs Hannah, and drags her to the nearest wine bar. As she buys a bottle of wine, Hannah looks at her questioningly.
‘Betty is there something wrong?’
Betty takes a large gulp of wine. ‘Absolutely not.’ Everything is fine, nothing is wrong and if she doesn’t pull herself together, she knows that the next few months will destroy her.
She loves him and he loves her. He is not going to start an illicit affair, he isn’t underhand. She can trust him, she should trust him; he deserves nothing less. Grace can no more tear them apart than she can bend metal. Betty hopes that she can’t actually bend metal.
Grace returns home from her first meeting with Johnny to find a message from Nicole on her answer machine. She calls her back.
‘Grace, I wanted to talk about the job tonight. The wife has panicked about where he is going to be, so I’ve got Tony following him from home. Apparently, he is going to play squash, but she doesn’t think he is. Anyway, she’s a wreck and doesn’t know if she’s coming or going, so I think that having him followed is best.’
‘Fine. I’ll make sure I’m in the area, and Tony can call me.’
‘Oh, and can you wear a video wire? She wants to see everything.’
‘I feel sorry for this woman.’
‘You and me both. Honestly, she is in a bad way. I tried to persuade her to postpone us until she felt a bit better, but it’s the idea of him cheating that’s making her like this. So, did you meet him?’
‘I did.’
‘And?’
‘He’s very kind.’
‘Kind? What kind of description is that? I’m kind, for God’s sake. What does he look like?’
‘Oh, he’s very nice-looking. Well groomed, but not in a smarmy way. Lovely eyes, and I get the impression that out of his suit he’s probably quite trendy. But then his wife is, so that would figure.’
‘You didn’t hate him?’
‘No, actually I didn’t. Nicole, he was so nice to me and I know I was spinning a yarn, but there was something quite special about him.’ Grace stops and blushes. She has lost track of what she is saying; she’s said far too much.
‘Grace, are you telling me you fancied him?’
‘Oh, come on, I’m not a teenager. Anyway, this is business. I have his direct line number and I’ve made a second appointment, and then at some point I’m going to have to lure him from the office.’
‘You told him you were a lonely divorcee?’
‘Yup.’
‘Look, I know I said that I didn’t approve but as I’m already helping I might as well continue.’
‘Go on.’
‘Talk about something you used to do with your husband, an innocent activity, and I’m not talking sex. You need to ensure that that said activity is one of his passions.’
‘Um …’ Grace pulls out a folder that Betty had given her with details about Johnny in it. Along with his work details is a list of hobbies. ‘He likes golf,’ Grace says, ‘and Carry On films.’ She frowns, she never got Carry On films. Too many ugly men and blonde women with big breasts. Disturbing.
‘Bingo. Look, I can get you in to one of the most exclusive golf courses in London. What we need to do is for you to have more contact. Then we’ll get you a membership card. You say you’ve got no one to play with, and because it is such a hot course, he’ll be sure to offer to come with you, or he’ll tell you how much he likes golf, and you ask him. Brilliant. And if you need more time with him then you take him to see a film.’
‘I haven’t played for ages and I hate those films.’
‘No, but you got quite into it. I’m sure it’s like riding a bike, and, anyway, you being a bit rusty will fit nicely into the whole story of not playing for ages. As for the films, you just laugh at every other line and he’ll never know.’ Nicole can barely believe how helpful she is being.
‘You’re a genius, Nicole.’
‘Yeah, but it’s a bit soon to be asking him for golf. Leave it until maybe the end of the month. I’m not sure why I’m telling you what to do. Anyway, I’ll get you a membership card.’
‘Excellent. Anyway, already know my next move.’
‘And it is?’
‘I’m supposed to have a second meeting this Friday, and I’m going to cancel.’
‘You really are the best, honey.’
‘Nicole?’
‘Yes.’
‘Am I doing the right thing?’
‘How on earth is anyone meant to know that? Trust your instinct, Grace, that’s all you’ve got. That’s all anyone has.’
‘He has the sexiest smile.’
‘Shit! You do fancy him.’
They both laugh, while Grace protests too much.
Grace changes for her evening job but can’t get her mind off the bet. Her next move will be to take the rest of her finances to Johnny. She is giving him the true story. The savings account,
which sits there getting fatter but doesn’t do much else. The dwindling mortgage, which she knows isn’t the best one for her. The credit cards, the receipts for clothes, the household expenses, the insurance policy she took out on a whim – she is giving him her financial life. And, who knows, he might even sort that out for the better, which is an added bonus. But she is in charge of timing, so when she goes back to her notebook and fills in details of the meeting, she writes underneath it: ‘Hard to get.’ Because although they are not dating, that is her first tactic. Johnny might not be trying to ‘get’ her, but he will be by the time she has finished. She leaves for her job, knowing that the next move is in hand. Go for the tried and tested. It nearly always works.
Betty walks through the door, annoyed that Johnny is not there. She stumbles slightly as she bends down to pick up the mail.
‘Bugger, how did I get drunk?’ she asks herself. She is sure she only had a couple of glasses. She goes to the sitting room, sits on the sofa and turns on the television. Maybe if she doesn’t move, Johnny won’t notice. The screen is helping her focus, although she is having trouble with double vision, so she closes one eye.
She hears the door open, and tries to sit up straight. Johnny walks in and goes to kiss her.
‘Betty, is something wrong?’
‘Nah, why?’ She is perfecting nonchalance.
‘Because you are sitting here with your coat on and your handbag still over your shoulder watching football.’ There are flaws in her plan.
‘Am I?’
‘Are you drunk?’
‘Are you?’
‘No, I’ve had two beers. Betty, come on, I’ll help you out of your coat.’
She stands up, amazed at how well she can do it, and shakes her coat off.
‘Have you eaten?’ Johnny asks.
‘Nah. Not very hungry, actually.’
‘Betty, it’s OK for you to be drunk, although it’s a bit early. Anyway, stop trying to pretend you’re sober. I’ll make us something to eat.’
They eat in near silence, because Betty’s head is stretching all over the place and she cannot think of a single thing to say. She tells herself that she is behaving this way because she feels guilty for lying to him, not because she is worried.
Later, in bed, she feels sober again. Sober and silly. If she continues being Betty the lush, that will only drive Johnny into the arms of another woman.
‘Johnny, I’m sorry about tonight. I’m not sure what came over me.’
‘A bottle of wine on an empty stomach, by the look of it.’
‘Yeah, but I don’t normally do that. Sorry. It’s been a shit evening, hasn’t it?’
‘Don’t be daft. Now go to sleep and hope that you don’t have a hangover.’ He kisses her gently, and as warmth and sleep wrap themselves around her, she forgets to worry about Grace. She is in his arms and that is where she belongs.
Grace opens the door and throws her shoes off. They are killing her, but she should know better than to wear that particular pair. She goes to the kitchen and finds a bottle of whisky. She pours a glass, gets the ice tray and throws in some ice cubes, drinks it down and repeats the motion. It was a horrible night, with a horrible man, and the most horrible thing of all is that she couldn’t stop thinking about Johnny. He was with her all evening – she couldn’t shake him off. His image is stalking her. She managed to get her job done, but at times she felt herself losing it. She was angry with herself. This is her bet, her idea and she is in control. But despite the angry words she has with herself, when she goes to bed that night, he is still on her mind, and in her dreams.
Chapter Twenty-Two
On Thursday, Grace calls Johnny to cancel their second meeting, as per the plan. She is a little bit miffed to find that she doesn’t want to cancel, but she pushes that away. She might have developed a tiny little crush on him after their first meeting, but only because of his eyes. And his smile. It is utterly manageable; she is still in control.
‘Johnny, it’s Grace.’
‘Hi, how are you?’
‘Fine, but I have to cancel our meeting tomorrow. It’s work, you see. I’m swamped.’
‘Do you want to rearrange, or maybe you can send me the papers so I can look at them first?’
‘No, the papers are messy. It’s probably best I explain them, and, to be honest, I don’t trust the mail. I’ll call on Monday to rearrange. Should I call your secretary?’
‘No, call me, I am quite good at looking after my diary.’ He laughs, kindly.
Grace giggles.
Johnny doesn’t know why, but he puts the phone down and feels disappointed. He tells himself that it is because none of his other clients is quite as attractive as Grace, but nothing more than that. Then he ticks himself off for sounding like a horny teenager. He is a happily married man with a beautiful wife. He doesn’t need beautiful clients.
Grace replaces the receiver and smiles. He is so sweet. She almost feels disappointed that she won’t see him, but she brushes that away. Lucky Betty, she almost hates her more now she knows just how lucky that woman is. As per Phase Two of her notes, five minutes after hanging up from Johnny, she picks the phone up again.
‘Sorry, it’s Grace again.’
‘Hello.’ He sounds confused.
‘I was thinking, can we rebook another appointment now, I’m just a bit fed up of having all this hanging over me.’
‘Sure. When do you want to come in?’
‘Next Wednesday. Hopefully I should be able to get away in the afternoon.’
‘Say three o’clock?’
‘Perfect, I’ll be there. Have a nice weekend, Johnny.’
‘Thanks, you too, Grace.’
Make sure you think of me, Johnny, she silently adds, although it might be a bit soon for that.
Betty has arranged for their friends Sarah and Will to come for dinner on Thursday night. It is all part of the normality of life that she is determined to maintain. They are friends of Johnny’s that she knows because of him, which she believes makes them safer than any other couple. Johnny is in charge of cooking. Betty is in charge of making the house, and herself, look nice. She is delighted with her control over the bet. She has barely given it a second thought. She isn’t going to let Grace mess up her life; she has done too good a job of messing up her own. She won’t sink to her level, or play her games. Her marriage is rock solid and there is nothing Grace can do to penetrate its walls.
‘Um, something smells good,’ she says, creeping up behind Johnny and putting her arms round him.
‘And someone looks delicious,’ he replies, turning round.’
There is no way that Grace can come between them. There is no space.
‘Oliver, what a surprise.’ Grace could have sworn that he wouldn’t be calling her again.
‘How are you?’ He sounds formal, stiff.
‘Fine, you?’
‘Busy as always. I wanted to ask you something, I wanted to ask you if you went ahead with that bet.’
‘I did. I am doing. I know your feelings on it, which is why I didn’t expect to hear from you.’ She feels defensive, but at the same time she would really like to talk to him about it.
‘Grace, I care about you. I want you to stop this and be with me, properly.’
‘Hardly the most romantic sounding proposition.’ She has no idea how to respond. Together with him ‘properly’ – the thought terrifies her. She doesn’t love Oliver, she doesn’t love anyone, and she can’t be with anyone ‘properly’ unless she finds her heart. She also realises that she is talking to Oliver but thinking about Johnny. No, there is no way she can be with him. But she still doesn’t want to let him go. What’s wrong with her?
‘I know, but it’s my best. Listen, Grace, I’m not doing this anymore. I’m not dropping in and out of your life. Either we do this, or we don’t. I can’t do half-measures any more. I love you, Grace, and you’re driving me crazy.’
Grace is surprised to find she is crying. She w
ill miss Oliver. He is one of her best friends. She also hears the hurt in his voice and hates that she inflicted that. She doesn’t want to miss him, that much she knows, but how can she communicate it?
‘Olly, I’m sorry, but you know I can’t.’ She wants to say more, but all she feels is a hole opening up inside her. She wants to stop him from leaving her but she doesn’t know how.
‘I’m always going to love you, Grace.’
‘Oliver, please, don’t do this.’
‘Give me one good reason not to.’ He sounds so sad and she feels sad. She could stop him going, but she can’t. She hates herself, and she wants to make everything better, but she can’t. She isn’t equipped for normal relationships, normal life. She is just going to have to let him go, but she doesn’t want to.
‘I care, Olly.’
‘That’s not enough anymore, Grace. I need more. Give up the bet, think about quitting your job. Move in with me.’ He doesn’t sound as if he’s begging, he’s so matter of fact, as if he were offering her a job.
‘I can’t.’ For a split second she wanted to. She wanted to give it all up for him, to be with him, to find a life that doesn’t leave her vulnerable. But then she remembered: it would do exactly that. If she relied on him then ‘she would be exposed and she couldn’t risk that.
‘Then, Grace, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to but I have to finish this.’
‘Can’t we carry on as we are?’ She knows it sounds lame, she knows that he will say no, but she says it anyway.
Agent Provocateur Page 21