by Josie Dennis
She looked into his hazel eyes, seeing tenderness reflected there. So he cared for her as Liam did. What a tepid emotion that was. She had their passions. That was evident. She had their concern, she reasoned. Surely neither of them would want harm to come to her. As for any deeper connection?
In that, she was all alone.
* * * *
Liam awoke the next morning with a groan of intense satisfaction. Last night had been incredible. First taking Charlotte to new heights of passion with Jackson by his side then fucking Jackson while Charlotte used her clever little tongue on him.
She’d sweetly begged for her own release afterward, her lips parted and her pupils dilated after Jackson and Liam had come together. Jackson had buried his face in her cunt, bringing her swiftly to climax as Liam had looked on. She was bloody beautiful.
He’d come to that realization years ago, however. Now he saw her as a woman. A sensual, giving woman who loved fiercely. She was Jackson’s match in that. He might have known Jackson for far less time, but that man seemed to anticipate Liam’s needs almost before he felt them.
A glance at the clock on the mantel told him he had a few minutes before Jackson would come to see to his valet duties. He was punctual and very professional despite their personal relationship. It was clear to Liam that he took his position at Hawksfell Manor very seriously. It was yet another thing Liam admired about him.
His chest grew tight. He cared for Jackson as much as he cared for Charlotte, apparently. How had that happened? Fear snaked through him. How would he keep from hurting them both? He’d told Jackson he couldn’t marry Charlotte. Now he was certain he had to end all of this sooner rather than later.
He cursed under his breath and settled in the closest chair. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt what he did for his lovers. Was this what Gabriel had with his countess and Michael Crowley? Liam had spent enough time in their company over the past week to see that there was more than familial affection between Lady Hawksfell and her third cousin. He’d caught a look of tenderness in the earl’s eyes, as well.
His brother had an unusual marriage, then. Liam thought for a moment. Did his brother Matthew also have such a marriage? His wife, Posy, was a pretty little thing, but Liam was well aware that a Hawk man could never remain faithful. Not when the beast raised its head. Wasn’t that what he’d told Jackson just the other day?
Unless that William gentleman he’d heard Matthew and Posy speak of was also part of their union?
“Son of a bitch,” he murmured.
Was that the secret? Was that what Gabriel meant about breaking the curse? Liam knew all of his life that he was a lucky bastard, but dare he have the audacity to hope that he’d found the answer to his heart’s greatest problem here at Hawksfell?
He now knew why his mother had been acting so strangely on the morning he’d left Sheffield House. She knew, of course. Sending him to Hawksfell had been her way of telling him. He couldn’t be angry at her for this. Admitting her seduction would have been enough. To admit that the great Earl of Hawksfell was Liam’s father? He could well imagine the distress that might cause her.
A scratch at the door drew his gaze.
“My lord?” Jackson said from the other side of the panel.
Liam supposed there must be another maid or servant in the hallway for him to revert to his former formality.
“Yes,” Liam called.
Jackson opened the door and entered. “Good morning, Lord Sheffield.”
Liam arched a brow but didn’t tease him. “Good morning, Jackson.”
The door closed with a click, and Jackson visibly relaxed. “The house is fairly humming this morning.”
“Why?”
“It seems the countess is in a tear. Something about readying the house for the baby.”
“Baby.” Liam thought for a moment. “When is it expected to arrive?”
Jackson chuckled. “You speak as though it’s to arrive in a motorcar.”
Liam flushed. “I have no notion of babies, Jackson. Surely you took note of that during our conversation of my lapse of judgment?”
Jackson prepared Liam’s clothes for the day, a thoughtful expression on his face. “You call it a lapse of judgment, true. I call it the possibility of future happiness.”
Liam’s head whipped around to him. “Future happiness?”
Hadn’t he just been thinking about that very matter before Jackson came to his room this morning?
“You say you care for Charlotte.”
Liam nodded as he fastened his trousers. “I do.”
Jackson held out his jacket for him. “Do you love her?”
“I don’t know.”
Jackson suddenly stilled and then resumed his duties. “That is unfortunate.”
“How so?”
Jackson brushed his hands over Liam’s shoulders and then stepped back. “I think I’m falling in love with her.”
“You?”
“I’ve never felt for another what I feel for her. I want to keep her safe. Take care of her. Drive her mad with desire and then satisfy her.”
Liam took a breath and let it out. “You might be describing my own feelings for her.”
Jackson searched his face for something, but Liam couldn’t guess what. “You know, I’m beginning to feel the same for you.”
It was Liam’s turn to still. “Jackson.”
Jackson held up his hands. “I know you are only visiting. I know that you can offer Charlotte things I could scarcely imagine.”
“Jackson—”
“You’ll be gone soon, Liam.” Jackson smiled, but the expression lacked the warmth it usually held. “Please don’t let my foolishness ruin what we can share until then.”
“You’re not foolish,” Liam said. “I was thinking about that future happiness you mentioned. Just before you came in, actually.”
Jackson’s brows drew together. “What was your conclusion?”
Liam reached up to stroke Jackson’s cheek. “My conclusion is that I’ve been a fool for some time now.”
“Then you will marry her?”
“I suppose I should.” He lowered his hand to his side. “But where does that leave you?”
“I daresay I shall continue as I have.”
“You’ll stay at Hawksfell?”
“Where do you expect me to go, Liam? This is all I know.”
Jackson stepped back, his work apparently finished. He looked at Liam with pointed interest, but Liam couldn’t make himself answer.
Jackson’s lips turned down. “If that’s all, my lord?”
Liam nodded, and Jackson let himself out of the guest room.
Liam had wanted to ask him to come home with him, to Sheffield House. He wasn’t sure of his own heart regarding either Jackson or Charlotte. How could he hope to know what was in Jackson’s?
To Liam, it seemed that his luck, unfortunately, had just run out.
Chapter Nine
Jackson slammed his door shut, never more grateful that he didn’t have to share his room in the attics with anyone. How could Liam be so blind? Charlotte loved him. Of that, Jackson was very certain. He even believed she might love him, as well, though he’d yet to get up the nerve to go to her and ask. Liam should marry her. Because she might have a baby, of course. But also because he looked so damned happy when he was with her.
He grumbled and sat down on his narrow bed, holding his head in his hands. He should have told Liam how he felt. How he, too, wanted a life with the both of them. He’d heard his father’s voice in his head, however. Urging him to keep to his place in the pecking order. Not to overreach and desire something he didn’t deserve to hold.
He did, though. He wanted Liam and had reveled in making love with him. He wanted Charlotte, and he couldn’t imagine a more perfect young woman to hold and cuddle. His lips tugged into a smile. She was like a wild thing when aroused, though. With him and with Liam, she let go of any reservations to the delight of both of he
r lovers.
Now Liam would leave. He would marry Charlotte or he wouldn’t, just as he wanted. Jackson would go on as he had before, here at Hawksfell. He had a very good position in a great house. It was nothing more than he’d aspired to, and he loved his work in many ways. It made him proud. He was liked and respected among the other servants, and the earl was vastly content with his service.
He had this on good authority from Mr. Carstairs, the longtime Hawksfell butler. That man was nothing if not honest, and Jackson knew he wouldn’t give praise or kind words if they weren’t warranted. What would his father say?
He’d most likely tell Jackson he was being foolish to give his heart to any person whose position was so above his own, let alone two such people. He had, though. Not that either of them knew of it. One of the most important lessons his father had taught him was to keep his feelings to himself. To be about his work. His performance. That was what he would do now.
He was taking one of his customary walks in the woods when he stumbled upon Charlotte. Any other thoughts, any such intentions to keep his heart to himself, fled when he glimpsed the tears on her cheeks.
“Charlotte, love.” He came up to where she leaned against the very tree where Liam had taken him days earlier. “What is wrong?”
She sniffled, shaking her head and sending her blond curls bouncing. “I cannot bear this any longer, Jackson.”
He placed his hands on her upper arms and held her gently. “Bear what?”
She looked at him with those pretty blue eyes all shiny from tears. “I love Liam, Jackson. It occurred to me last night that I cannot bear his kind condescension in response.”
Jackson swallowed thickly. “I knew you loved him, Charlotte. That was clear to me. Before last night, actually.”
“What am I to do?”
“What if he marries you?”
“Why on earth would Liam marry me?”
“Why would he not? He…” It wasn’t Jackson’s place to divulge what he suspected regarding Liam’s feelings, was it? “He cares very much for you.”
She snorted. “Cares for me. Yes, that is a glowingly warm sentiment that a woman can pin her heart to for all of her life.”
“Charlotte, I believe he may love you.”
The hope was bright on her face. Her mouth dropped open, and her eyes went wide. “Never say he said such a thing.”
“He didn’t.”
She appeared crestfallen. “I knew it was too much to ask. Truly, what would marriage with Liam be like for me?”
“How do you mean?”
“Do you think me ignorant of the way he comports himself at Sheffield House?” she asked pointedly. “Of the many maids and other servants that serve his damned Hawk beast?”
“You know of the curse, then?”
“I know enough. I had stoked the little glimmer of hope in my breast as I saw how happily settled both the earl and Matthew Hawk are. Sadly, I was mistaken if I thought I would ever have such contentment.”
“You deserve more than contentment.”
The realization dawned on her beautiful face as he relaxed his own features and let his feelings show.
“Jackson.” She hiccupped and then clasped her hands in front of her breasts. “You. You love me.”
“I do.”
She threw herself into his arms, and he caught her. Even as he embraced her, he knew he had to let her go. She wasn’t for him, any more than Liam was.
“I love you, Jackson.” She leaned back, a bright smile on her face. “That was what occurred to me last night and sent me running from the room.”
“Yes.” The realization curdled in his belly, but he hid that particular truth from her. “I know I am far beneath you.” He laughed without humor. “Beneath you and Liam both, actually.”
“That is not the reason I left last night.” She held his hands now, shaking her head. “I wasn’t running from either you or Liam, Jackson. I was running from my own foolish heart’s wish to have something more than tepid caring from either one of you.”
His heart beat rapidly, but he had to let her know precisely what he was feeling. “I love you, Charlotte.”
She bit her lower lip, her cheeks pink. “Oh, Jackson!”
He held her again, feeling every inch of her as his heart’s wish and his body’s desires aligned. “I don’t know where this will lead, love.”
She kissed him, softly and sweetly, and pulled back a bit. “It will lead to happiness, Jackson. It must. I won’t settle for anything less than complete and utter happiness.”
“I so want to believe that’s possible, Charlotte.”
“Are you saying you don’t see a future with me?” She sucked in a breath. “With Liam?”
“How can I?”
Determination drew her brows together. “You are one of the men I love, Jackson. I will not let you speak of position or being beneath either Liam or myself.”
He broke out into a smile at her vehemence. “Never let it be said that I disagree with a lady.”
“You’ll make him see reason, won’t you, Jackson?”
“Love, I believe Liam must come to the same realizations we have on his own.”
“Oh, pooh.”
He chuckled. “Indeed.”
* * * *
Liam sat at the dining table, smiling and nodding as Gabriel spoke of his coming child.
“Can you believe it, Liam? A baby Hawk. Here in our little nest.”
Michael Crowley laughed. “Little nest? Never say you’ve picked up my habits of hyperbole, Gabriel.”
Liam didn’t miss the flash of affection in the earl’s eyes.
“Michael,” Gabriel began, “not even your teasing can affect me this evening.”
“We have weeks yet, Gabriel,” the countess said. “It will be some time before our little Hawk hatches.”
Michael Crowley laughed louder still. “Do you hear this, Liam? Millicent is in high spirits, as well. What are you and I to do with ourselves?”
Liam had noted the absence of Matthew and Posy, and he was indeed the only guest at the moment. “Brandy and cards?”
Michael clapped his hands together. “Yes, but only for a short time. I’m expected upstairs before the wee hours.”
“Michael,” Lady Hawksfell admonished in a light tone of voice. “Please don’t turn your teasing onto Liam. He’s just getting used to having family. Don’t make him dislike any one of us.”
“He couldn’t,” Liam put in. “I’m very pleased to get to know you all better, even on this short visit.”
“Short visit?” The earl leaned toward him. “Are you leaving us already?”
Liam had thought about the alternative all afternoon. Since Jackson left him that morning actually. He couldn’t expect Jackson and Charlotte to continue to indulge him as he kept his emotions to himself. He wasn’t able to love, was he?
Evidence in front of him to the contrary, he had never felt affection toward any of his lovers in the past. No matter how much sharper, how much more, he felt for these two, he couldn’t imagine that love was truly at stake. No. They would be hurt, of course. And the bastard with blood on his hands would be himself.
“I’m not completely certain, Gabriel. You and your family have been so welcoming to me.”
“You are a Hawk,” Gabriel said. “And my brother. I don’t want you to leave so soon.”
Liam stared at this man who looked so much himself, stunned by the deep regard he saw on his face. “Your brother.”
Gabriel nodded. “Yes. And as such, I would like to get to know you better. Perhaps we can have Stefan come for a visit, as well.”
“Yes, Gabriel!” The countess smiled. “I do so miss Madeline.”
“Who?” Liam asked.
“That is your sister-in-law, Liam,” Michael Crowley said. “My sister by birth, actually. That makes you and I relatives, as well, I suppose.”
“More family,” Liam mused aloud.
“Yes.” There was humor laced
through Gabriel’s voice. “It seems our family grows with every month.”
Michael snickered. “Perhaps if you didn’t invite a Hawk to roost every month…”
“Gabriel may certainly do so, Michael,” Lady Hawksfell said. “And, Liam, you are to know you are now welcome at the manor any time you wish.”
“Thank you,” Liam said. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“You’ll have to bring your Charlotte with you,” she added.
Liam’s heart thudded in his chest. “My Charlotte. Yes.”
“Did I say something wrong?” She looked at Michael and Gabriel, who both shrugged, before facing him again. “Aren’t you in love with her?”
Liam opened his mouth to answer in the negative, and then he gave a curt nod. “I suppose I am.”
“You suppose?” Michael chuckled. “Damn, the Hawk beast is a right devil.”
“What do you mean?” Liam had to know.
“I believe Michael is saying that you have to listen to your heart,” Gabriel said.
The countess gave him a nod. “You need to talk to her. Isn’t it telling that she didn’t dine with us tonight?”
Liam hadn’t wanted to think she was avoiding him, but there it was. He had to go to her. If his brother guessed his intentions, so be it. He had to talk to Jackson, too. That would take more finesse than he’d ever had to employ.
“Excuse me.” Liam stood. “Thank you for another lovely dinner and I’ll speak with you on the morrow.”
“You’re not leaving tomorrow, then?” Gabriel asked.
“No. I don’t believe so.”
The three of them were silent, even Michael Crowley. Liam left them and hurried upstairs to Charlotte’s room. He knocked softly but got no answer. He would go to his room and ring for Jackson. To his astonishment, Jackson was waiting for him.
“Jackson, there you are.” He loosened his tie and shrugged out of his jacket. “You must let me apologize for acting as though I don’t care about you.”
“You care about me.” Jackson’s green-gold eyes sparkled, but his face remained rigid. “Truly?”
The floor seemed to tilt beneath him as he finally grasped what the earl and his family felt. “I love you.”