by Malone, Nana
Yeah, Roone. I would have made a stop tonight after seeing Bryna, but it was already ten o’clock. And maybe things with Bryna would go better than expected, so batman Roone was tomorrow. He’d be pissed. He once told me how Sebastian had just vanished one day. No goodbye. No nothing. Only a text. He didn’t say it, but I could always see that shit bothered him. That his best mate just disappeared on him like that. And then you went and vanished. You didn’t even bother to text.
Yeah, yeah. I fucked up. I’d fucked up everything. All because I was trying to do the right thing at the time. Quit bullshitting. You were running. You were afraid. Full-on coward.
Yeah, I’d been a coward. But there was nothing to do about the past. You can only look to fix the future. I just hoped I had one to fix.
We pulled up to Bryna’s apartment building. It was on Catpaw Street, with condominiums peppered around that all looked like single-family homes. We were on an island, so technically everything was close to the ocean. But given the sound of crashing waves, she was close enough to walk to it. Which meant her place was probably pricey as hell. Did she have a roommate? Did she live alone? I tried to ask Weller, but he hadn’t said anything. He had given me some mean jetlagged face though. Fucker. Yeah, I’d fucked up, and I was totally whipped. So I was not beyond grumbling, and desperation was probably written all over me. I hoped she wouldn’t be able to tell.
Errol parked the car. “All right, sir, here we are.”
“Thanks man, and don’t call me sir. You can call me Lucas.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Let me guess. You can’t stop calling me sir.”
He grinned and shook his head. “No. It’s not allowed.”
“Okay, maybe when you’re not wearing a uniform or driving me somewhere we can actually go out and play or something.”
He nodded. “Sure, I’d like that. Good luck with your girl. For your sake, I hope you take longer than expected.”
I cracked another laugh. “Yeah, thanks for that.”
I shoved open the door and climbed out. Halfway down the street, I saw the follow car. Weller was already out of the car, and I shook my head. It looked like he wasn’t going to let that shit slide. But then Mueller was out and quickly put a hand on his chest then shook his head. They seemed to have some kind of argument. Then finally, Matthias backed down and threw up his hands. Awesome. At least I’d get some time with her. Something about the look on his face told me that Matthias Weller wasn’t someone I ever want to be pissed off at me.
I knew she was on the fourth floor. I couldn’t wait for the elevator, so I took the stairs two at a time. My heartrate was already escalating, but not because of the exertion. Before I opened the fire door, I forced myself to take several calm breaths. She’d want to send me away, but I figured if I could just look at her, see her, I would be calm. I could relax knowing she wasn’t hurt. And then I’d tell her that I was here to do everything that I could to keep her safe. And that I loved her, whether she believed it or not. And when she finally said she believed me, I’d set about taking my time. Like the kid said, if I was brief, that would be bad for me. So like hell would I be brief.
I finally opened the fire door, practically jogged down the hall, and made a right turn at the corner then screeched to a halt. “What the fuck is this?”
Bryna jumped back, and the asshole who was around her practically catapulted himself back four feet.
“Lucas, what the fuck are you doing here?”
“The better question is who the fuck is this? And why does he have his goddamn hands all over you?”
Idiot with the roaming hands had the gall to look back and forth between me and Bryna before he asked, “Bryna, you know him?”
“I really wish I didn’t.”
I advanced on them. “Yeah, she knows me. You still haven’t answered my question. Who the fuck are you?”
The guy looked like he might want to step to me for a moment, but then he reassessed quickly and backed up a step. “I’m Mark, her date.”
Once I reached her, I stepped in front of her slightly and put out my hand. “Hey man, sorry for the dramatics. But I’m Lucas, her fucking boyfriend.”
Mark tried to glance around me to look at her. “Your boyfriend?”
Behind me, Bryna shoved hard. It didn’t budge me though. I could feel her peering around me. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“The hell I’m not. Did you tell Mark here about Italy, and that sweet little sound you make when your cunt—"
She whacked me on the back of my head. “Lucas.”
“What? You do make this awesome sound. I swear man. It’s like—" She shoved me hard then with both hands, and I stumbled forward.
Mark jumped out of the way. “Look, I don’t want to get involved in any of this. I’ll just be going.”
I rolled my eyes then. “Man, you’re not even going to stick around and check to see if maybe I’m not her boyfriend but just some stalker guy? You would just leave her?”
He frowned. “Wait, are you her boyfriend or not?”
“I am. But the fact that you’re not even going to verify it and you’re just going to leave tells me you’re a pussy.”
Mark blinked several times, taking more offense to the fact that I’d called him a pussy than to the fact that he went out with a woman who had a boyfriend. “Who the fuck do you think you’re calling a pussy?”
Bryna stepped around me then. “For fuck’s sake. Mark, he has a point. You didn’t even verify. You can go. And no, don’t call me. Lucas, you should go too. I’m not entertaining assholes today.”
As she turned, she tried to shove the door closed. The hell she would.
I slid my hand on the door to keep it from closing. The shitty thing was Mark was already gone. Completely. Peace out. “What kind of assholes are you dating anyway?”
“Apparently, I’m an asshole magnet.”
That one hit home. “I just came to see you.”
“What are you doing here? Last time I saw you in Italy, you wanted nothing to do with me. So, that was the end of that.”
“No, I didn’t ‘want nothing to do with you.’ You were the one trying to run out on me.”
She whipped around on me. “You were the one who ran out on me first.”
“So you decided to start dating assholes?”
“Let me be clear.” She jabbed a finger on my chest. “You are not now, and never again will be, my boyfriend.”
“Challenge accepted.” And then I slammed my lips over hers.
* * *
Bryna
He was an asshole.
But admit it, it’s kind of hot. Lucas’s lips sliding over mine, his tongue delving into my mouth, felt like a brand. Like a statement. What was it about his pheromones or some inner lizard-brain thing that made him rolling up and claiming me as his so hot? What was wrong with me? No, you will not be weak. Fight the feeling.
I took both hands and I shoved him back, tearing my lips from his. “Would you stop that?”
“The last I checked, you liked that.”
“You are such a pompous prick. You can’t just turn up here after being gone all this time and kiss me and think, ‘Yeah, of course. She may be happy about it.’ I’m not happy about it. You are a prick.”
“You said that already. I know. I’m sorry. I just lost it when I saw his hands all over you…”
“It’s called a date jackass. An actual date. He took me to dinner. It was nice. Remember, you took me on a training date once. Thank you very much, by the way. I have to say, your training worked excellently. I know how to act. I didn’t say anything stupid. It was awesome. Except you ruined my goodnight kiss.”
His jaw clenched. “You want a goodnight kiss? I’ll give you one.”
“Oh, the hell you will. You can’t just kiss me and make all the problems go away. And that bullshit about you claiming to be my boyfriend…”
“As far as I’m concerned, we never broke up.”
�
��We were never together. Remember? You slept with me, and then you ran away?”
“Low blow. You know what happened.”
“Do I?”
“Yes, you do.” He took a step and crowded me again. And oh God, he smelled amazing. His breathing was shallow and harsh, his eyes hooded and dark. His lips were slightly bruised from that crushing kiss he’d just given me. Yeah, everything about him said ‘I’m about to jump you.’ And my body was all, ‘Hell yes! Let’s make that happen because a solo orgasm sucks monkey balls.’ But I had to be strong. I couldn’t listen to my vagina. Vagina was not in charge right now. Who are you kidding? Vagina should always be in charge.
Shut it.
“You walked away.”
“I walked away to protect you. You know that. What about the last time? You’re the one who left, sneaking off in the middle of the night.”
“Well, I have to say, you’re an excellent teacher.”
“Ugh, low blow again. I know I fucked up. I tried to make up for that.”
“How? How did you try to make up for it? By fucking me senseless? Great job. I have to tell you, I was sore for days. It made it impossible to forget you. But that doesn’t make up for anything. All that did, was make me want you in my bed. It didn’t make me want you in my life anymore.” I lied. It was getting easier to do that.
“You don’t mean that. You’re just mad.”
“Of course, I’m mad.” I inhaled a deep breath. “I felt played. I felt like I was lied to. I felt used.”
“I never used you. I keep telling you, I love you.”
“And I keep telling you, I don’t believe you.”
“I guess, in this case, I’m just going to have to show you.”
He stepped toward me, and I backed up. “Lucas, this isn’t going to fix anything.”
“No, it’s not. But you know what? It’s going to feel fucking amazing. I feel like I’m partly dying inside without you. I need another taste to help me survive until I can breathe again.”
Shit. I was weakening. I could feel it. The thaw that was happening sent shivers through me. “Lucas.”
“Tell me you don’t love me. Tell me you don’t feel like you’ve been holding your breath, waiting to breathe since we last saw each other.”
“This isn’t fair Lucas.” I backed up, but there was nowhere else to go. The refrigerator stopped me. And then there I was with Lucas’s body pressed into mine.
“Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me to stop. I’ll walk away. I’ll never bother you again.” We both breathed raggedly, our breaths co-mingling, the two of us dragging in shuddering breaths, waiting to see who would crack first. I knew it was going to be me. I wasn’t strong enough for this. I wanted him too badly. I needed him too much.
“This is going to hurt.”
He shook his head, forehead placed on mine. He swallowed hard. “It doesn’t have to. I can go nice and easy. It won’t hurt a bit. As a matter of fact, I have it on good authority I can make it feel incredible.”
Something deep inside me pulled and clenched. I needed him inside me. I needed his hands on me, gripping me. I needed his lips on mine, branding me, owning me, reminding me just what I was missing. “When you leave, it will hurt.”
“I’m not leaving. I never want to see anyone else’s hands on you.”
“Lucas.”
“Sooner or later, you’re going to have to realize that you’re mine. I never should have left you.”
18
bryna
I knew this was a bad idea. Logically and rationally, the worst idea I’d ever had. I knew what I’d said to Jinx just a few days ago, that I’d insisted it was time to move on. I also knew exactly how it felt after I walked out on him in Sanremo. Like a part of me was dying.
I also knew what it felt like to be with him. Cocooned in his arms, feeling safe, protected, and loved. Desired and wanted. That alone was more potent than any drug. More potent than the orgasms he doled out like candy at Halloween.
But he was still an arrogant ass. Honestly, how could he think he could call me his after everything he put me through? It was like he wanted to put a stamp on my ass so no one else could have me.
Despite all of those things, good or bad, Lucas’s lips over mine was all I wanted. I wanted that stinging electrical charge coursing through me.
“Tell me you don't feel this. Tell me you don’t want me. Say the words and I’ll walk away.”
Be strong, Bryna. Be strong. “I don't feel this.” But my fingers gripped his T-shirt.
He lifted a brow. “Something tells me you're lying to me. Say the other words Bryna. Say it so I can hear them. Tell me to stop and leave you alone.”
I had fully intended to tell him to stop. I fully planned to say the words. But then that magical shiver danced up my spine, promising me all the things that would feel insanely good but be so bad for me. And I did the stupid thing…
I pulled him closer instead of pushing him away. With a groan his lips came crashing down on mine, and all I could do was whimper and hold on for the ride.
We stumbled back to the door and fumbled with the lock as Lucas wrapped me in his arms, lifting me off the ground. I squealed at the sudden motion, but my alarm quickly morphed into heat when his head nestled into the crook of my neck. I wasn’t even sure what he was doing, breathing me in? Whatever he was doing, it felt amazing. I tipped my head to the side to allow him better access to the skin of my neck. The light graze of his teeth sent shivers through me.
He held me tighter, his tongue sliding deeper. Through clenched teeth, he bit out, “Which way?”
I pointed vaguely in the direction of my room. Jinx’s was in the opposite direction. Surprisingly we didn’t hit anything on the way. Once we were inside, he set me on my feet then shut the door behind us quietly before flicking the lock with a twist of his wrist.
My pulse sped up. I couldn’t even play it cool, not when my panties were on fire. He’d come here. For me. After everything, he’d come for me. Careful, don't get too excited. This won’t last. You know him. Have fun and don't let this affect you. Yeah, apparently I’d taken to lying to myself. This was going to devastate me. But damn, it was going to feel so good first.
My lips turned up in a wicked smile, but he didn’t bother to respond. He just spread his fingers through my hair and yanked me toward him until our mouths crashed together.
The small sting of pain on my scalp was a surprise. But what was more of a surprise was that I liked it. I liked his lack of control.
“I’ve been thinking about this since you left me in Italy. Thinking about what I’d do. How I’d do it.” He spoke in jerky tones as he began to strip my clothes from my body.
I shook and moaned when his teeth sank into my shoulder. I hadn’t even known that I could make these sounds. What was he doing to me?
Emotions roiled inside and amplified my desire until it was all I could feel. Anger, lust, and shame were a heady combination.
“Show me,” I panted. Our eyes met, and something dark and dangerous sparked in his gaze. “Show me everything you’ve imagined.”
It was obvious when his control finally snapped. Lucas growled and hitched my legs around his waist. We barely made it onto the bed, grinding against each other while standing before we fell in a heap onto the duvet, desperately ripping at each other’s clothes.
When we were both naked, he rolled me onto my stomach. I gripped the cotton duvet cover between my fingers as his head dipped and followed the curve of my hip. When his mouth settled between my thighs, I reared up with a hoarse groan.
“Yes. Give it all to me.” He pressed me back down with a firm hand on my back and the sensation of being restrained nearly sent me straight over the edge.
Lucas pushed my legs apart and I whimpered. "That’s it. I want to see how pretty you are." He muttered a low curse, then kissed my cheek. "I’m going to spend some time reminding you why you’re mine if you're okay with that."
Just the promise o
f pleasure and I raised my hips in invitation. God, I just wanted more. I needed it. Needed him.
He slid his tongue over my lips and I bit down to keep from crying out. I grasped the duvet and raised my hips, begging him silently to keep loving me.
I came hard as he teased my clit with his tongue, staying with me as I squirmed helplessly against wave after wave of pleasure. When it ended, I was exhausted and wrung out. Then he sat up and slid in with one thrust, bringing me right to the edge again. The thick length of him filling me.
“Fuck. Nothing in the world will ever be better than this.” He kissed my neck and nipped it gently as he reached under me and cupped my breast. With the slightest movement of his hips, he sent shockwaves through me.
“Lucas. Yes. Please.” I didn’t know what the hell I was saying. Hell, at that point, I just prayed we weren’t waking Jinx.
"Say it Bryna.” He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. “I’m the only one who makes you feel like this.”
I shook my head, trying to not make the confession. "Lucas." Deep down, I knew it was true. I had never felt with anyone the way I felt with him. My stupid heart and my traitorous body were his.
"More."
He chuckled. “That’s what I thought. His hips picked up speed, and the edges of my vision grayed. “Yes. God. Like that,” I moaned.
"You like that?” His whispers were harsh against my ear. His breath hot. "You’re so fucking beautiful. So perfect. Just tell me what I need to hear."
I was close again. So close. His grasp on my breast tightened, and I knew oblivion was seconds away. He dug his free hand into my hair and tugged until I turned my head, exposing the skin just behind my ear. His favorite place to kiss.