“I know,” Annabelle responded quietly. “It was I who followed you into the study not the other way around. I should have left the moment I realised I was not alone.”
Lord Stannage smiled slightly, “As should I.” He might regret the situation causing any problems for Annabelle, particularly after what she had alluded to in the study, but he could not regret the kisses or the fact that they were going to be married.
“I shall draw up an announcement for the Times,” Peter offered “And I shall write to Mr Johnson. From what my wife has informed me previously, he will be overjoyed that Annabelle is to marry a titled gentleman, so I doubt he will have any objections to a speedy marriage.”
“Do you mind?” Lord Stannage asked Annabelle.
“No, the engagement announcement has already been delayed by a week; I think the sooner the better,” Annabelle said with a firm set of her chin and a defiant glance at Rosalind.
Rosalind sighed but did not let any of her inner turmoil show. “Would you marry here?” she asked.
Annabelle looked at Lord Stannage, who nodded his head slightly in agreement. “I will, but I want a small affair,” Annabelle said. “I want Annie to be my bridesmaid.”
“That is very kind of you,” Peter said. “She will need a lot of tuition on what to do.”
“If we have a special licence I shall have a few days; I can spend them with her, showing her what is required,” Annabelle said.
“A special licence?” Rosalind asked. “So soon?”
“Yes,” Annabelle said firmly. “I want to be married as soon as possible.”
Lord Stannage should have felt greater joy at hearing his bride-to-be’s words, but he wondered what the reason was behind them. He decided that a marriage would start off on better footing if he supported his wife. “A special licence would be acceptable to me. I have family who live in Carlisle; I would like to visit them if you would be happy for an extended wedding trip there?”
Annabelle nodded her agreement.
“That is settled then,” Peter said with a smile. “We shall have lots to do over the coming days, but it is achievable.”
“I shall take my leave; I wish to write to my family, before they see the announcement in the newspaper,” Lord Stannage said, standing and making his bow. “I shall see you all tomorrow I hope.”
*
Rosalind readied herself for bed earlier than normal. She excused herself soon after Lord Stannage departed. She was not sure whether it was the thought of Annabelle rushing into a marriage with a man she hardly knew or that she was dreading an audience with her husband, but something was upsetting her equilibrium. She felt this sense of discomfort all day, and it did not look as if it was going to disappear.
Peter sat in his dressing room when his valet left him. It only seemed a blink of an eye that he had rejoiced in his wife and the relationship they shared. It was more than he could have ever imagined, but now it was like torture. He knew how she felt, how she kissed and what made her moan, but it seemed that they had gone too far down a different path to turn around. He sighed and opened the door to his bedchamber. He would be sleeping alone again tonight.
Chapter 19
Rosalind woke to feelings of disappointment that Peter had not joined her, but she had not really been surprised. The feeling of disquiet settled over her again, and she lay back on her pillow. The energy needed to move out of bed seemed more than she had at the moment.
Morning visits were always going to be a trial, but Rosalind smiled when Mrs Adams was announced as the first guest. Normally she was one of the last to arrive to enable a longer visit without interruptions.
Mrs Adams smiled at Rosalind. “Glad to see you back in your rightful place,” she said sitting down.
“I’m glad to see you here; at least my first guests won’t seem so trying with you at my side,” Rosalind said truthfully.
“I’ll stay for all your visitors; they won’t become too impertinent with my presence,” Mrs Adams said confidently.
“Thank you. I don’t deserve you,” Rosalind said with a smile.
“If you pull many tricks like you did last week, you certainly don’t deserve me; but if it was a single moment of madness, I can overlook it this once,” Mrs Adams said tartly.
Rosalind blushed a little. “It was one moment of madness, although I think I have ruined my marriage because of it,” she said truthfully.
No more private conversation could be held as the visitors streamed in one after the other. Rosalind always prided herself as being able to respond with a tart retort when needed, but time and again during the morning, she was thankful of Mrs Adams support. Anyone who tried to make a comment about the ball or impending marriage was crushed under Mrs Adams’s reminder of some misdeed in their own family.
When the final guest had left, Rosalind flopped back onto the sofa. “I have no idea how you know every detail about every person within a twenty mile radius, but I for one am grateful for it! I don’t feel too bad after hearing about the misdemeanours of every family; in fact, I’m shocked that I live in such a den of inequity!”
Mrs Adams smiled, “Sometimes being old with an excellent memory has its advantages! Now their visits are over I expect things will settle down once more. How is Annie?”
Rosalind flushed, “I shall never forgive myself for not appreciating what impact our absence would have on her.”
“Not only her,” Mrs Adams said pointedly.
Rosalind ignored the reference to her husband, but it did nothing to help the constant feeling of nausea that she had felt since returning. She could hardly expect Peter to forgive her when she could not forgive herself.
*
Rosalind and Annabelle spent a lot of time explaining to Annie what would happen at the wedding. They also took the time to explain that Annabelle would be moving away after the ceremony. Rosalind was never keen on being reminded that she had failed her sister, but Annabelle seemed more accepting of her fate than Rosalind had of hers.
“It will be like when Peter had his farm,” Rosalind explained patiently. She did not want Annie to feel abandoned again.
“So you will come back and visit?” Annie asked, a frown creasing her brow.
“Every week!” Annabelle said with feeling. “I expect you to tell me everything that has been going on.”
Annie giggled, “I won’t remember everything!”
“Well, I especially want to know if Rosalind has been good!” Annabelle replied laughing at her sister.
Annie frowned with concentration. “Rosalind made Peter sad; is that being not good?”
Rosalind looked stricken, but Annabelle continued with the lively banter. “Sometimes when people marry, they argue and make each other sad,” she explained gently. “But it’s usually over very quickly, and then everyone is happy again.”
“Peter and Rosalind are still sad though,” Annie said, innocently.
“I’m sure they’ll soon be fine,” Annabelle said, regretting starting the conversation.
When Annie left them to go for one of her regular rest times, Annabelle turned to Rosalind. “Sorry about that! I didn’t think she would say something so outrageous!”
Rosalind smiled slightly, “Annie says what she feels; there is nothing wrong with that.”
“She also says what she sees,” Annabelle said gently. “I am sorry to have been the one to cause a rift between Peter and yourself.”
Rosalind looked at her hands, before sighing. “I have only myself to blame; I always think the worst of him, yet he has been nothing but honourable to us all.”
“Can you not apologise?” Annabelle asked.
“I think it has gone beyond a simple apology, I have no idea how to reach him,” Rosalind said sadly.
“Just be honest,” Annabelle urged.
*
The day of Annabelle’s marriage to Lord Stannage dawned clear and bright. Hopefully it was a good sign, Rosalind thought, as Marjorie helped with her toilette.
She had chosen a dress of deep red for the occasion. She liked deep colours, and they suited her dark hair. The dress was made simply with taffeta and edged with fine gold embroidery. The embellishments enhanced the dress rather than being the focus of it. The material moved with a sound that seemed to whisper its quality. Her bonnet was of a matching material and gold ribbon. She wore a shawl, opting to enjoy the dress rather than being covered by a pelisse or spencer.
Rosalind entered Annabelle’s chamber and found her sister alone. Annabelle looked a little pale, and Rosalind hurried to her side. “What is it? What is amiss?” she asked, holding her sister’s hands in her own. Her eyes were searching Annabelle’s face worriedly.
Annabelle smiled a wan smile. “I’m fine; it’s just nerves,” she replied quietly, before squeezing Rosalind’s hands. “How did you do it, Rosalind?”
“What do you mean?” Rosalind asked.
“How did you find the strength to go through with marriage to a stranger without your family there to support you? I know I have your support, and I feel I will need it more than I have ever done before,” Annabelle replied. She could not explain that her fear was for what happened after the wedding had taken place; she was not sure she could put into words what she had hidden, but the thought of exposure was almost paralysing her with fear.
Rosalind paused before speaking. How had she got through it? She smiled at Annabelle, “I think I was so angry with Papa it took away the fear. I also kept thinking of you, Grace and Eleanor. I had no choice, but I was determined that some good would come of it.”
“I wish Grace could have arrived before the wedding,” Annabelle said. Her sister would be safer at Sudworth Hall.
“There is still time to withdraw from this if you cannot go through with it,” Rosalind said.
Annabelle squeezed Rosalind’s hands and kissed her cheek. “You are the most wonderful sister I could ever have; you would ruin any chance of your own happiness to save me. You don’t have to, you know: concentrate on yourself not me. I was sure that I had to do this when we were in St Annes and I’m still sure. I am here because of my own doing; I don’t need you to save me, not this time; but I do need your support, Rosalind.”
Rosalind felt tears pricking her eyes, “You will always have my love and support whatever you do. We do not know Lord Stannage, but he seems like a good man from what Peter and Mrs Adams have said about his character. I hope he is, but if he is not, you will always have a home here.”
“Thank you. Rosalind! Will you send for Grace immediately?” Annabelle asked.
“Yes, of course,” Rosalind said with a slight frown at the urgency of Annabelle’s words.
“Thank you. Now do I look the part?” Annabelle asked, standing. She was dressed in a silk oyster pelisse. The tiny buttons fastened from the neck to the floor. There was embroidery around the base, but it was simple in design. Annabelle’s slim figure suited the unadorned pelisse, and she looked elegant. Her bonnet matched perfectly; her ribbon and gloves in white, contrasting against the shade of the oyster.
“You look beautiful,” Rosalind answered truthfully.
The sisters walked arm in arm to the top of the stairs. Annie and Peter waited in the hallway, Annie dressed in a delicate pink dress, holding a posy of deeper pink flowers. “I’m ready,” Annabelle whispered and started the descent to her new life.
Peter watched his wife throughout the service. He seemed to do very little else since she had returned from St Annes. He was like a man desperate for some acknowledgement, some small sign that would give him hope she still felt something for him.
The previous days had been a strain on her, he could tell. Oh, she had kept organising, talking and smiling to those around her, but he knew her. He could see in her eyes that she was desperately unhappy that Annabelle was being married in the way that she was, but there was nothing anyone could do to alter it. Peter was less concerned than Rosalind; he had known Lord Stannage for most of his life; he knew that Stannage would be a good husband to Annabelle. Yes, he hid from society, but that said more about society than it did about Lord Stannage. Peter hoped that, with Annabelle by his side, he would be encouraged to go into society more. The more people saw him, the less they would notice his eyes.
Peter wanted to reassure Rosalind. His protective streak was as much of him as any physical part of him. A few weeks ago he would have seen the strain she was feeling and soothed her, held her until she was reassured, but now he could not.
He cursed himself. He towered over most people; he was stronger than most, yet he was as timid as a church mouse. Yes, his father and brother had trampled over him as he had grown, but they were both dead. Why, at the first sign of trouble did he seem to back down, back away, not face up to the problem and get what he wanted? He was one of the highest ranking aristocrats in the country; the title came with privileges and commanded respect. It was about time he started taking control of his life and stopped being the pushover that he had been until now.
Peter was standing next to Rosalind as the thoughts raced through his mind. The wedding was a reminder of his own: yet another position he had been forced into. His indignation grew as the service continued. He ignored the fact that he had chosen to go down the route he had because of Annie; he was too wrapped in his own feelings of self-righteous fury to let reality get in the way.
He was determined that things were going to change. From this day, there would be one less in their party until Rosalind’s younger sister arrived, and he could no longer live as they had been. He reached down and without looking at her, scooped Rosalind’s hand in his own and pulled it through his arm. He held his arm firmly at his side; she would have to wriggle to release her hand, and he was determined she was going to remain in physical contact with him. He had had enough of not being able to touch her.
Rosalind had been startled at Peter’s actions. She had tried to pull away, but his grip was too tight. Her first instinct was annoyance, but as the minutes passed and his hold remained firm, a feeling of relief started to creep through Rosalind. She still felt nauseated at the thought of any conversation they needed to have to sort out fully what had happened, but the first step had been taken.
As the party emerged from the church, Peter remained in control and kept hold of his wife even when he was offering his congratulations to the newly married couple. Lord and Lady Stannage were to leave immediately; there had been talk of staying for a wedding breakfast, but Lord Stannage had wanted to make a good start for the border while the day was yet young.
“I shall see you in a few weeks,” Annabelle said, embracing Rosalind and noticing that she received a one-handed embrace in return.
“Enjoy your trip, and please try to be happy,” Rosalind whispered.
“I will, but now is the time to stop worrying about me,” Annabelle responded quietly. “I am a married woman and no longer your little sister who needs taking care of.”
“I’m not sure I will relinquish that role easily,” Rosalind smiled, before kissing her sister. “But I promise I will try.”
Lord Stannage moved to Rosalind and bent over her hand. “I will take good care of her,” he assured his new sister.
“You’d better, or you will have me to answer to!” Rosalind said, but she smiled at Lord Stannage; he really did seem like a nice man. It was a pity her sister did not love him.
The newly married couple were waved off by the few people who had joined them in the church. There was only Miss Latimer and Mrs Adams from outside the family. Both waited until the carriage had turned the corner and then wished the family goodbye.
Annie and Mrs Fisher climbed aboard the Sudworth carriage, but Peter prevented Rosalind climbing aboard. “We shall walk back; it is a fine day,” Peter said to Annie and Mrs Fisher. The door closed on the pair, and the carriage moved away.
“I am in a shawl; I shall probably catch my death of cold,” Rosalind said, unable to stop herself being a little mulish.
Peter smiled slightly
; he had known this would not be easy. “Well, we shall have to walk all the faster to keep you warm,” he said, before setting off at a brisk pace.
Chapter 20
Rosalind started off the walk feeling angry at the speed Peter was setting. It was a good thing that Rosalind was as tall as she was; she could not keep apace with his strides, but she could more or less keep up. A mile or more had been covered before she started to really struggle. Her boots were made for fashion not walking across fields. As they passed a clump of trees, Rosalind wriggled free of the tight hold Peter had maintained throughout their trek and stopped.
“Enough!” she panted. “What are you trying to do to me?”
“I want us to spend some time alone together; and if I have to drag you across country to do so, so be it,” Peter said firmly and reached for Rosalind’s hand.
Anticipating the move, Rosalind dodged out of Peter’s reach. “Oh, no, you don’t!” she said crossly. “You have ruined my boots, probably my dress, my hair and my morning! I am not being dragged all the way back to Sudworth Hall.”
“I shall have to carry you back then,” Peter said menacingly, moving toward her.
Rosalind’s eyes opened wider in alarm. “You wouldn’t!” she said, but it sounded as if she was trying to reassure herself rather than stating fact.
“Oh, wouldn’t I?” Peter snapped. “I’m sick to death of being the one who does the right thing all the time, being the reliable one! For once I’m going to do what I want; and that, at the moment, is to spend time with my wife!” He grabbed both of Rosalind’s wrists and pulled her towards him. In one fluid movement he bent and lifted her over his shoulder.
Rosalind squealed in surprise. She was tall, and no one in her life had tried to lift her until Pete carried her from their shared sitting room into the bedchamber that night many weeks before. That had been surprising enough, but to be flung over his shoulder as if she weighed no more than a sack of potatoes was taking things too far. She wriggled and slapped his back to try and dislodge herself, but Peter kept a tight grip of her legs and she stayed in place.
Rosalind: A Regency Romance (The Four Sisters Series Book 1) Page 17