He sighed, and she knew he had understood her unspoken refusal. “I feared you would say that.” He continued watching Meli play with Sahlik. “There’s my chance for redemption, Kevla. Sweet and innocent and perfect. I sacrificed her to the Great Dragon, and beyond all hope, he has given her back to me. I used to believe that the Dragon had cursed me, but now I know it was only my own folly.” His voice trembled slightly. “I no longer believe in curses, but by all that is good in this world, I believe in blessings.”
Kevla was deeply moved. She regarded her father steadily, taking in the strong features that so reminded her of Jashemi.
She squeezed his arm and he turned to look at her. “Tahmu-kha-Rakyn,” she said evenly, “I will take your name.”
Slowly, his lips curved in a smile. “It was Jashemi’s name,” he said.
“May his name forever be spoken,” Kevla said, as she leaned over and kissed her father’s cheek.
The dawn was crisp and bright, a good omen. The clans were preparing for departure, breaking down the encampments. She had assisted them in a solemn duty before she had slept that night; lighting the funeral pyres for the honored dead. There had not been as many as she had feared, but enough so that the task was heartbreaking.
She was walking toward the Dragon, carrying a small bundle of provisions Sahlik had packed for her, when a woman approached her and said, “Kevla-sha-Tahmu?”
The name still sounded so strange, but also very sweet. Kevla turned to see who had addressed her and saw tears in the woman’s eyes.
“My name is Shali-sha-Terku.” Kevla hoped her face did not register the sudden shock she felt. This was Jashemi’s wife, the one he said he did not love, who deserved better.
She found her voice. “I know your name,” Kevla said. “You are…you are my brother’s widow.”
Shali nodded and placed one hand on her belly. She seemed to be a naturally thin woman, yet her stomach was starting to grow round—
“Can you tell me how he died?”
Guilt weighed Kevla down. To confess to this woman that she had lain with her husband, Kevla’s own kin, would heal nothing and harm much. And though she had once burned with jealousy for Shali, now that she saw the woman and her pain, the only feeling Kevla had for her sister-in-law was compassion. Yet she could not lie. Gently, Kevla took Shali’s hand in her own.
“Jashemi was my Lorekeeper, though neither of us knew it for too long,” she said. “He helped me to discover who I truly am. In so doing, I lost control of my powers and…I killed him.”
It still hurt her so badly she had difficulty breathing. Shali’s hands tightened painfully on hers, squeezing so hard that Kevla wondered if the bones would break.
“You…?”
Kevla nodded. She kept her eyes glued to Shali’s. “I have known no greater pain in this life than having to live with this. I didn’t want to live with it. But I have to, because Arukan needed me. Other people elsewhere need me, need the Dancers, or else we are all doomed.”
“I should hate you,” Shali whispered. “You killed my husband, the father of my baby. But I don’t. I see your suffering. To have bought your power at such a cost—I do not envy you, Kevla-sha-Tahmu, no matter that you ride the Great Dragon.”
Kevla smiled sadly. “Then you are wise indeed, Shali-sha-Terku. The basest beggar on the streets is happier than I.”
“Did…did Jashemi speak of me?”
“He did,” Kevla said. “He said you deserved better than him.”
Shali laughed, though she was starting to cry. “Then Jashemi-kha-Tahmu was a liar. I could have had no better man for my husband in this world.”
Shali began to weep in earnest. Her heart breaking for the girl, for both of them, Kevla took her in her arms and hugged her gently. Shali was smaller than she, and Kevla felt the wetness of tears on her shoulder.
“Be easy, sister,” Kevla said. “I will tell you this and you may know that it is true: His body is gone, but his soul is free. He would want you to be happy, to raise your child in love and peace.”
Your child. Any chance that Kevla had conceived during their single union had been shattered that same night. The fire that had claimed Jashemi had surely also destroyed any seed he might have planted in her womb. If there were to be any heritage from Jashemi, it would come from this woman.
“That is a comfort,” said Shali, pulling back and wiping her wet face. “To know that his soul is free.”
I’m glad you find it so, Kevla thought. If only I could take comfort in it.
“Will you return? To see your niece or nephew?”
“I hope to, but I cannot tell,” Kevla said. She bent and kissed Shali on the forehead. “Stay well, my sister. Blessings on the child you carry.”
Slowly Kevla walked to where the Dragon waited for her. He looked at her with compassionate eyes and lowered himself to facilitate her climbing atop his back.
Kevla looked around and despite her pain smiled at what she saw. Everywhere, the former kulis had found parents or siblings or even strangers to welcome them. Women mixed freely with the men. On the hard-packed, yellow earth were colorful veils some of the women had discarded. Others kept their veils.
Good, Kevla thought. A woman should be the one who gets to choose to reveal her face or not. At least there is no Great Dragon dictating to her.
Time would tell if this would last. Old habits were hard to break, and it might take a while before some of the older clansmen learned to accept former demons as children, wives as true partners, and the lower-born among them as equals.
But it was a good start.
“Are you ready, my dear?” said the Dragon, craning his neck to look at her with infinite affection.
She nodded. “I am ready,” she said.
Her people cheered her as she rose into the sky, waving goodbye. Kevla saw her father holding Meli’s hand in his own large, strong one. He placed his other hand on his heart as their eyes met. And she saw Sahlik, and Shali, rubbing the round belly that was filled with Jashemi’s son or daughter.
They would be all right without her. Life would go on here. It was up to her and the other Dancers she was setting out to find to ensure that life went on everywhere in this and other worlds.
She lifted her gaze from the rapidly dwindling images of her people and fixed her eyes on the horizon, her heart lifting with every beat of the Dragon’s powerful wings.
GLOSSARY
Akana: rider of the Hawk Clan
Arukan: the name of the country
Arukani: native to Arukan
Asha: apprentice to Maluuk, a healer
Bahrim: obsequious uhlal
Bai: generic term for Bai-khas and Bai-shas
Bai-kha: “male without father,” derogatory term for illegitimate boy or man
Bai-sha: “female without father,” derogatory term for illegitimate girl or woman
Balaan: root, served raw or cooked, particularly in stews
Baram: member of the Sa’abah Clan
Clan, Cattle
Clan, Horserider
Clan of the Four Waters
Clan, River
Clan, Sa’abah
Clan, Sheep
Clan, Star
Clan, Warcry
Dragon, Great: see Great Dragon
Dumah: servant, member of the Clan of the Four Waters
eusho: a hot, bitter drink that takes time to prepare
five-score: slave/servants captured in battle. For each year they serve, they are “scored” on the arm. At the last score, they are freed.
Great Dragon: the keeper of the morals of the people of Arukan
halaan: slang for “prostitute”
Jalik: Second of the Star Clan
Jashemi-kha-Tahmu: Tahmu’s son, Kevla’s half brother
Keishla: Kevla’s mother, a prostitute, Tahmu’s great love
Kevla Bai-Sha: illegitimate daughter of Tahmu and Keishla
kha: unit of money, gold
-kha-: �
�son of”
khashim: Lord of a clan; plural khashims
khashima: Lady of a clan
khashimu: the young heir, prince
kurjah: Arukani term for the male organ
kuli: demon
liah: gazelle-like creature
Maluuk: Healer of the Clan of the Four Waters
Melaan: Second of the Sa’abah Clan
Mirya: Sa’abah tender
Naram: Jashemi’s uncle, Yeshi’s brother
paraah: sweet, thick-skinned fruit, usually peeled
Pela: Jashemi’s aunt, Yeshi’s sister-in-law
Raka: young lord of Sa’abah Clan
Rakyn: Tahmu’s father
Ranna: young handmaiden to Yeshi
rhia: a flowing garment worn by both sexes. Men’s rhias are shorter and worn with loose breeches
Rusan: Yeshi’s father
sa’abah: desert animals with long, fluffy tails, long legs with broad feet, small “hands” and long ears
Sahlik: head servant of the Clan of the Four waters, five-score
sandcattle: cattle that survive well in the desert
Sammis: Jashemi’s cousin
-sha-: “daughter of”
shakaal: long horns, blown at moments of high ceremony or great import
Shamizan: board game with colored glass stones
Sharu: five-score
simmar: big cat of the desert
skuura: female dog; used as an epithet
sulim: Arukani term for female genitalia
Swift-Over-Sand: Tahmu’s horse
Tahmu-kha-Rakyn: Kevla’s father, khashim of the Clan of the Four Waters
Terku: leader of the Sa’abah Clan
Tiah: voluptuous handmaiden of Yeshi
uhlal: term of respect; “gentleman” or “sir”
uhlala: female term; “lady” or “ma’am”
Yeshi: wife of Tahmu, mother of Jashemi
Yuma: Jalik’s friend
ON FIRE’S WINGS
ISBN: 978-1-5525-4563-8
Copyright © 2004 by Christie Golden
First paperback printing: August 2006
First trade printing: July 2004
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Worldwide Library, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
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