“Ny, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say something that awful.”
“It’s cool. I know what you were trying to say. I didn’t mean to imply that you were a bad husband and that’s why your wife left.”
“Listen to us. We just had our first fight. Can you see us doing this for the next fifty years?”
“If not longer,” I said confidently.
“Are you and Kenny coming home for Thanksgiving?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Good, I can’t wait to see you. You’ve got to see Andy. He has gotten so big.”
Andy was Allen’s two year old son. He was smart, gorgeous, and well-mannered. Allen was a proud a peacock of him, as well he should be. I could just imagine having a house full of children with Allen. He was the kind of man that you would just want to keep having babies for, a loving, attentive father and husband. I would do anything to have him. It’s funny how we always wish we had what someone else has got. I’m just thinking about Lisa and wondering if she knows what she is letting go of. They couldn’t take this man away from me unless they pried him from my cold, dead fingers! Here she is just sleeping on the competition.
“I can hardly wait. I’ll bring your jacket when I come.”
“Good, it’s a little chilly here.”
“Well, I’ll let you get your day started. If I have time, I’ll call you. And Allen, remember, you can call me anytime too. You have my office number and my cell number. I would love to hear from you.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Love you, too’” I told him as I hung up.
This was getting way too deep. I tell this man I love him more than I tell my husband. Were Allen and I just playing around? Was this just something to pass the time until we fell back in love with our respective spouses? Was this just a fantasy brought to life by a chance encounter caused by a brief layover? I couldn’t explain what I was feeling, but I sure felt like love to me. Allen was perfection and I owed it to myself to find out what I was missing. Allen made me want something. He made me want something in this life. He awakened desires in me to do, and to be anything. He dared me to be the best and to take nothing less than what I really, truly wanted. Kenny just looked good in a suit. But Allen, he was The One.
In the midst of everything, I forgot to tell Allen about my trip to LA yesterday. He would have been really proud of me. Now that I have the check in hand, I can begin the development project on the shopping center. This is what I had been working towards for the past several years since I’ve been in real estate. This was the project I had convinced Axis that my company could do successfully. Now it was time to put up or shut up. I had to complete the purchase of the land, hire the architects and contractors and get this project underway. This project was going to require precise judgment on my part. If anything gets fucked up, it’s going to come out of my pocket, and my pockets are not that deep. I assured Axis that I could successfully complete this project within the budget I submitted and it had to be accurate. There was little room for error on my part. However, should I complete this project successfully, it could spell millions of dollars for my company within a year. I could be balling out of control in no time! I don’t think I ever told Allen the extent of this project, just that it was going to be the biggest deal of my life. Now I’m wondering if I should just wait and surprise him once I finish and get really paid! I’m trippin’ because it never even occurred to me to tell Kenny anything about my trip to LA. I know how negative he can be and he would probably say something to piss me off and get cursed out again. No, I decided that I will just keep quiet for now and make him eat his words later.
The next few days went by uneventfully. I knew Lisa would be home soon and I wouldn’t be able to talk to Allen the way I wanted to. Whenever I thought about him, I would just go to his company’s website and look at his picture. I mean, we had pictures of him at our house, but Lisa was on all of them with him. I didn’t want to look at her. Before I knew it, it was time to leave for the holiday and I had to ensure that everything was intact at my business before I left. I finalized the land purchase for the shopping center and the contractors were already in place. I hired a project manager with an impeccable reputation to oversee the project. As far as Reilly Realty Services, Inc., “Ghetto Fab” was in charge and Haily didn’t like it one bit. I simply asked her if she was willing to do all the work Dee Dee does for the same pay as Dee Dee. She responded with a resounding ‘no’ and that was all I had to say about that. I made an executive decision and that was the end of it. If Haily didn’t like it, she could walk. I don’t have time to factor personal feelings and judgments into my business. I’m in the business of making money and anyone who is not about that has no place in my company. The fact is that we were going to be gone for over a week and I did not need anything to worry about while I was gone. I had enough on my plate dealing with this situation with Allen. I still didn’t know how I was going to face Lisa, knowing that I would like nothing more than to be lying flat on my back with her husband on top of me.
I was packed and ready to go days before it was time to leave. I couldn’t wait to get away from this place and get down to the country for some home cooking and fresh air. I was looking forward to relaxing and not to mention seeing Allen. It would be just as awkward as it would be exciting and I just couldn’t wait to see how I would handle myself. I didn’t know if Oxford, Mississippi had ever had a scandal like this one before. I wondered if by the end of this trip, would I still have a husband? And, if so, would it be the same one I came with.
Chapter Three
Kenny asked me if that was everything. I was sure I had packed everything I needed for a week and a half in the country. Kenny was the one who packed like he was competing in a pageant. He was a pretty boy in every sense of the word and he had more clothes than Oprah. He was just letting down the hatch on the Jeep when I remembered Allen’s coat in my closet. I promised I would bring it and I had to keep my word.
“I forgot something,” I told him as I grabbed my suitcase and tugged it back into the house.
“Can’t you just bring it down and put it in your bag?” He asked legitimately.
“I forgot a few things,” I tried to explain.
I dragged my suitcase up the stairs and plopped it down in front of my closet. I knew it was going to be difficult to fit Allen’s huge, leather coat in my bag because it was already full. I tried to stuff it in there but it was no use. I decided to just bring another bag. I reached in the back of the closet and pulled out my old Reebok workout bag. I carefully folded the jacket and placed it ever so gently in the bag. I placed a tee-shirt on top of it to protect it and zipped up the bag. I returned downstairs with two bags.
“Damn, girl! What all are you bringing?”
“Yeh, like you have room to talk.”
Kenny put my large suitcase back in the Jeep then tossed my Reebok bag carelessly behind it.
“Careful, Negro!” I told him.
That was it. We were ready to go. We got in the car and proceeded to the gas station for fuel. I knew I was going to be doing most of the driving but I didn’t care. It would give me time to think while Kenny slept. As soon as we were on the highway and Kenny closed his eyes, I popped in my Usher CD.
You got it, you got it bad, when you’re on the phone...
“I’ve been looking all over for that CD!” Kenny interrupted, “I thought them niggas at the carwash stole my CD, but you had it!”
“I just borrowed it,” I defended myself.
He closed his eyes again and went to sleep. I continued to jam my favorite song. It reminded me of Allen and I wanted to think of only him. I was hoping that he would already be there when we get there.
After a few hours, Kenny woke up and requested a bathroom stop. We pulled over in a small town in Alabama.
“It’s getting cold,” he told me, “did you bring a blanket and pillow?”
“I always do,” I reminded him. Kenny
will go to sleep on your ass like he is in the bed. I always keep a small traveling blanket and pillow like the ones you find on airplanes in the car.
“It’s in the back,” I told him.
He got out to use the restroom and I inserted my check card at the pump to top off the gas. When he returned from the restroom, I took my turn. He stayed at the pump and waited for it to stop. I used the restroom and browsed the store for a bit trying to find some snacks to eat on the trip. When I returned to the car, Kenny’s demeanor had changed.
“What nigga gave you his coat?” He asked, interrogatively.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, knowing exactly what he was referring to.
“Some big ass nigga gave you his leather coat with some cheap ass cologne on it.”
“That’s my brother’s coat,” I lied.
“Your brother is smaller than me. That coat is for some big ass bear lookin’ nigga!”
“My brother buys his clothes big,” I insisted.
Kenny opened the jacket and pointed to the size tag in the coat.
“This says 2x. Your brother wears a large, if that.”
“I’m sorry you feel the way you do, Kenny, but you are going to have to do better than that if you want to accuse me of something.”
“I was looking for a blanket, but I guess I could use this big ass coat for one.”
I snatched the jacket from him and put it back in the bag. I pulled out the blanket that he supposedly couldn’t find and handed it to him.
“The cheap ass nigga couldn’t even buy a designer coat. Where do you get an earth-friendly, biodegradable leather jacket anyway?”
I realized from Kenny’s comments that he had noticed the logo on the inside of Allen’s jacket. Kenny was a label reader at heart. He only wore designer clothes and he was quick to judge those who didn’t. His mother even confessed to me that when Kenny was a teenager, she would buy his clothes from TJ Max and put them in a Neiman Marcus bag just so he would wear them. I really didn’t know what to do at this point. If he found out that this jacket was Allen’s, he would really think we were hiding something. I would rather him think some other guy gave me the jacket - anyone but Allen!
“That’s the company my brother works for. I don’t see the big deal, Ken.”
“That’s cool. I’m going to find out one way or the other.”
Now things were really getting crazy. If this was a precursor of events to occur, then I wanted to turn around and go back home right now! I wasn’t trying to get caught up, especially down there. If some shit went down, I would have no help on my side. I would be seen as a home wrecker, a Jezebel. I tried to look at things on a positive note. If I could get Allen’s jacket back to him without incident, maybe Kenny will forget all about it. I will just tell him I gave my brother his jacket back - end of story. One thing I did not have to worry about was Kenny asking my brother about the jacket. He’s knows better than to come to my brother with some mess like that. My brother will probably tell him to kiss his ass and leave him out of our business.
The rest of the trip was quiet, at best. We only talked when it was absolutely necessary. I wish I had told Kenny the truth when I got back from Denver. He would have been asking all kinds of questions, but at least I wouldn’t be lying, trying to cover up something. It didn’t really matter, this was a no-win situation. It doesn’t matter what I told him, he would still find something to get mad about. He’s just a jealous and insecure person and I fed his jealously and insecurity by lying to him.
When we pulled up to my mother-in-law’s house, I felt let down when I didn’t see the butterscotch Tahoe in the carport. Allen hadn’t made it yet. I was disappointed but I knew he would be here shortly. We left our bags in the car and went inside. We hugged and kissed everyone who was there, including my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Denise was my sister -in-law and just a few months older than me. She was tall, attractive, and smart but she had priced herself right out of a husband. She refused to cook for a man or even fix him a plate of food. She was forever in school, obtaining degree after degree, and totally emasculating any man who tried to do anything for her. She was always reading a book or watching a movie that perpetuated the flaws and faults of the Black man. She didn’t have a man and she didn’t want anyone else to have one. She was always on my case about the way I cater to Kenny.
“You always cookin’ for that nigga and fixin’ his plate. Let that nigga get his own shit!” She would say. I told her that’s the way I grew up and I do it because I want to and not because I feel obligated. Besides, it’s so much easier to get a man to do what you want him to do when you’re cooking for him and fucking him well. For all the problems Kenny and I have, it was my doing those two things that ultimately made him agree to let me quit my 9 to 5 and start my own business. Still, that’s something she has to learn on her own, the game is to be sold, not told!
“Ma, Nya and I get to sleep in the big room since we got here before Allen and Lisa, right?”
That was like a special treat to get to sleep in “the big room”. It was his mother’s room and it had the king size bed in it. We often fought over who got to sleep in the big room but after Allen and Lisa’s baby was born, they automatically got to sleep there. Now, since the baby is two-years old, the big room is fair game again.
“I guess so, my baby,” she told him.
Kenny and I went back outside and brought our bags back in.
“Damn, how long y’all staying?” Denise asked as she saw all the bags we brought.
“I’m going back home after Thanksgiving, but I’m leaving Nya’s ass here,” Kenny joked.
Everyone laughed and soon it began to feel like the holidays.
I wanted to ask when were Allen and Lisa getting here, but I didn’t want to be too obvious. I decided to be a little coy.
“I can’t wait to see Andy! I bet he’s gotten so big.”
“Yeh, they sent us some pictures of him, but he won’t be here until tomorrow,” my mother-in-law told me.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow? I can’t wait until tomorrow to see my love! I was going to die if he didn’t come today! Oh, God, please help me, I’m losing it!
“Allen had to work today,” she went on, “that boy is always working. He’s going to mess around and lose his wife if he keeps working all the time. No woman is going to put up with staying at home alone all the time,” His mother insisted.
I do. The only difference is my husband is out on the town, instead of at work.
I decided to go make my rounds around town. Whenever I got to town, I would go visit all the old people and sit with them for a while. I really enjoyed hearing the stories and the wisdom they had to share. Besides, it made them all feel better and everyone thought I was so wonderful for doing it. My first stop was Aunt Minnie. She was few years shy of 100 years old and, as rumor has it, very wealthy. Still, having grown up in poverty, she was very frugal. Even though she was quite old, she was in fair health and could get around very well. She wasn’t lacking in the mental department, either. That’s why it shocked me when I walked in and the first question she asked was, “Where is Allen?”
“They haven’t made it yet,” I told her.
“I mean Kenny. Girl, you know who I mean. I always get you mixed up as Allen’s wife. Tootie is always telling everybody that you are Allen’s wife. That’s right, Allen married that ol’ Black gal.”
Tootie is the name they call my mother-in-law. And Aunt Minnie was right, she did introduce me as Allen’s wife a lot and she was less than apologetic for it. At times, I feel she does it on purpose and she tries to pretend like she’s old and crazy when I call her on it. Only this time it’s not funny or cute. It’s serious now and any mention of Allen makes me really nervous and on edge.
“It’s ok, Aunt Minnie. I know what you mean. Kenny went to The Hill. They are supposed to be killing a hog or something.”
I sat with her for a while and talked. Soon, I knew I had to go see my other old pe
ople so I had to find a note to end on.
“Well, Aunt Minnie, I’ve got to go take some fruit salad to Aunt Bee Bee. I’ll probably see you again before we go back to Alabama.”
I gave her a hug and a kiss and then left. I spent the rest of the day visiting and when I got back to the house, everyone was playing cards. They offered me the opportunity to play but I didn’t want to. Everyone there took the game too seriously and didn’t want to partner up with anyone and have them get mad at me if we lost. That’s why I liked playing with Allen. He realized that it was just a game and kept everything in perspective. I graciously declined the offer and went into my room to unpack. I was still thinking about that whole jacket thing. I hated lying to my husband. I hated lying period! As much of a jerk as Kenny could be at times, he didn’t deserve that. I wanted to tell him that I saw Allen in Denver, but I just couldn’t. I promised Allen that I wouldn’t and I had to keep my word. Maybe after I talked to Allen, we could come up with a solution. I didn’t like the deception between us. I mean, if I was going to be with Allen, I wanted it to be the right way - Full disclosure up front. Still, I don’t think anyone was ready for that kind of honesty and the best thing we could do is keep our feelings to ourselves until such time as deemed appropriate.
I started thinking about how much I used to love Kenny and what happened between us that caused those feelings to fade. I remember the first time I ever saw him, I told myself he was the man I was going to marry. The first time I spoke to him, I told him I was going to marry him. He said he wasn’t going to marry anybody. He was a free spirit and was not fit to be tied down. He wasn’t what you might consider a player, he just didn’t do well with obligations. In fact, when I met him, he wasn’t seeing anyone at all. When we were dating, his cell phone never rang and when I would go to his apartment, the phone never rang there either. He didn’t spread himself thin at all. We were both swept away in a fantasy and three months after we met, we were married. Everyone was in shock, my family and his family. My friends and his friends were blown away. I just felt he was the one for me. I still tease him about saying that he was not going to get married and then doing it three months later. I think he felt secure then, when we were both climbing the corporate ladder. But, after I decided to give it a go in the real estate business, I think he felt exposed. As long as we were both pulling down regular income, he appeared to other people as someone who was taking care of his wife. Then, when we got down to one income, it was apparent that he wasn’t banking like he tried to pretend. He didn’t want everyone to know how little he was actually making. It was never apparent before we got married because he was splitting rent with his cousin in an apartment. But now that he had a mortgage, his party money was short. And, with only his steady income, he couldn’t flex like he did before. That’s where our problems started. He felt that I was the person who exposed him. He became angry at me for not helping him keep up the appearance of having a lot. However, I still wasn’t angry at him until he turned on me. He started saying ugly things to make me go back to corporate America. Everything he said pointed to one underlying theme: Nya would never succeed in her own business. That’s where he lost me. Once you show me that you don’t have faith in me, then you’ve lost me. Kenny lost me some time ago and I think the only reason we are still together is so I can prove to him that I can do it. Once I do that, I think I will probably leave him anyway. So, it doesn’t matter if I’m in love with Allen or not, I don’t want Kenny anyway. He has lost me for good and subconsciously I think he deserves to be hurt.
Layover Page 5