by Mz. Lady P
“I’m sorry Neicee. I’m going to head home. This was a bad idea.”
“Hell no. Fuck that bitch. You not going nowhere. Let’s go to the bar and get us something to drink.” As Honey and Neicee pulled me towards the bar I locked eyes with Remy. He looked at me with disgust. I had to hurry up and turn my head to hide the hurt. It was hard as hell to hide as he pulled the girl closer to him and placed kisses on her neck.
“I swear to God you better not shed a tear or I’m gone slap the shit out of you,” Honey said as she handed me a straight shot of Remy.
“I’m not going to cry.” That’s what my mouth said but on the inside I was crying.
“You want to jump on that bitch?” Neicee asked as she made me laugh. I knew her ass was dead serious though. Her and Honey were always on some bullshit, that’s why I loved them. No matter what they had my back and I most definitely had theirs.
“I’m good. It was my decision to walk away from my marriage. He’s free to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. I’ll be okay. I’m going to sit here for a minute and drink. Go ahead and turn up. I’ll be out there with y’all in a minute.” After knocking back some more shots I made my way back over to where my family was sitting.
“See what your stupidity got you. He fucking with a gold digger already. You better get your shit together before he moves her in that big ass mansion,” Madear said as she pointed to Remy and the bitch slow dancing. I don’t know where my strength came from but I flipped the table over causing everybody to stop what they were doing and all eyes were on me.
“I know that you think I’m stupid. As a matter of fact I know that everyone thinks that I’m stupid. All I’ve ever made is stupid decisions all my life. Well newsflash, I don’t give a fuck what nobody thinks about me. Fuck any and everybody that has something to say about me or my life. Half of you motherfuckers couldn’t walk a mile in my shoes. At twenty-two I’ve been through more shit than most people go through in a lifetime. I’m sick and tired of everybody judging me for walking out on Remy.”
“Come on baby girl, it’s okay.” My father tried to grab me but I yanked away so hard that I lost my balance and fell. I jumped up and headed towards the exit and that’s when I saw the bitch that was with Remy smirking.
“What the fuck you laughing at bitch?” I never even gave her a chance to respond because I started whooping her ass. I swear I was in a rage. I could feel people trying to pull me off of her but I had a death grip on this bitch. I just kept seeing that bitch put that pillow on my baby face. My hands felt wet so I knew this bitch was bleeding from me punching her ass. I took out all my anger on her. Finally, I felt myself being lifted up off of her and carried out. The whole way out I acted a damn fool.
“Fuck you Remy!”
“Stop this shit Rose`! You came here and ruined me and Neicee’s day. You can’t handle Remy being here with another woman so you attack her? You left that man he didn’t leave you. That was your choice, now deal with the shit. Get the fuck out of here Rose`! Don’t bring your ass back around until you get your shit together.” I wanted to say something to defend myself but Peanut walked away. I got in my car and went straight home. When I got inside of the house, I stripped out all of my clothes and grabbed a bottle of Patron from the fridge. I drank straight from the bottle. I wasn’t even a drinker like that but I needed to numb everything that I was feeling. I climbed in bed and drank some more before falling to sleep.
The next morning I woke up sick as a dog. I thought I was going to die. As soon as I sat up I needed to run to the bathroom. I vomited for about ten minutes straight, nothing but liquor. It was a surprise I didn’t die in my damn sleep from all that shit I drank. I took a couple of pain pills and went back to sleep. A couple of hours later I woke up and ordered me some Chinese food. After eating I wanted to go back to bed but someone was banging on my door. At first I was going to let them knock but then I heard my father calling my name. I jumped up and opened the door.
“We’ve been calling you all day. Why haven’t you answered the phone?”
“I don’t even know where my phone is at.” I walked back into my bedroom and pulled the covers over my head.
“So this is how you’re going to go on living? What about Heaven?”
“My daughter is fine Daddy.”
“Where is she then?” I jumped up out of bed. That’s when I realized I never picked her up from the babysitter. I started running around trying to find something to put on.
“I can’t believe I forgot.” My father grabbed me and hugged me tight. I just collapsed in his arms and cried.
“It’s okay. Heaven is fine. I went and picked her up.”
“What is wrong with me Daddy?”
“Nothing. You’re mourning the loss of your child and you don’t know how to do it. Believe it or not Remy is mourning too.”
“It just hurts so badly. I just want my baby back.” My Daddy held me until I fell asleep. The next morning I woke up and got ready to go pick Heaven up. On the way I thought of Remy and decided to just pop up at his house to talk to him. I didn’t even know what I was going to say to him. Hopefully, the words would come when I made it there. His Maserati was parked in the driveway so I knew that he was home. I used my key to go inside, went straight up to his bedroom and just walked inside. He was lying in bed watching TV. He didn’t have shit on but his boxers. His long ass dick was laying on his left leg. I couldn’t help but to stare. I was biting on my bottom lip as I lusted over his sexy ass.
“Are you going to just stand there and look at my dick or are you going to tell me why the fuck you’re here,” his voice boomed, causing me to jump out of the daze that I was in.
“We need to talk Remy.” I shifted from side to side nervously.
“We ain’t got shit to talk about Rose`.” He got up and tried to walk past me but I grabbed his arm.
“Please Remy, don’t walk away from me! Just hear me out.”
“Like you listened to me? Get the fuck out of here! You got a lot of motherfucking nerve bringing your ass in here demanding that we talk. Your selfish ass should have thought about that before you wrote that bitch ass letter.”
“I’m sorry Remy. I just miss my son so much.” I was still holding him but quickly let him go when he slammed me into the wall and started to choke me. He wasn’t applying pressure where it would hurt me; just enough of a squeeze so that he could get his point across.
“You’re are so fucking selfish. In case you forgot he was not just your son. He was my motherfucking son too. Do you think that you’re the only one that misses him? You’re not the only one who is mentally fucked up. However, you are the only one who matters in all of this, right? Stay the fuck away from me, you selfish ass bitch!”
“So now I’m a bitch?” It hurt my feelings to hear him call me out of my name like that. I have never seen Remy upset like this. The look in his eyes was scary as hell.
“You’re not a bitch but your ass is acting like one. Now get the fuck out of here.” He pushed me one last time before walking into the bathroom and slamming the door. I can’t believe what we have become. I quickly turned around and ran down the stairs and out of the front door. I jumped in my car without paying attention and I side swiped his Maserati by mistake. I kept on going. I went straight to Madear’s house and I got my daughter. I didn’t say shit to anybody. My Daddy, Peanut, Boo, and Madear were all sitting in the living room. They just looked at me like I had lost my mind. I drove straight to the airport. My intentions were to book a one way trip to Miami and never come back. As I sat at a red light all I could hear was Madear’s voice in my head telling me to stop running all the time and deal with shit like a grown woman. I realized that at that very moment I was acting like a child. I walked out on Remy and I was now regretting that decision. I made that bed so I needed to lay in it. No more running for me. I was going to stay and deal with everything, including my son’s death. I made a sharp U-turn and headed back to my grandmother’s house.
I owed my family a big ass apology for my behavior.
About thirty minutes later I was back at Madear’s house. Now everybody was sitting on the porch including Remy. I was scared as hell as he walked towards my car and yanked the back door open.
“Hey Daddy!” Heaven was so excited. Remy grabbed her out of the backseat and slammed the door hard as hell. For a minute I thought that he was going to snatch my ass up but instead he got in his truck and drove off. He loved her so I knew that she was okay with him. Not to mention he was legally her father now. We had gone through all the necessary court proceedings to have him legally become her father. I had changed her last name to Ramirez. After gaining the courage, I slowly got out of the car and walked up on the porch. I hesitated before talking to everyone.
“I’m sorry about the way I’ve been acting. Please forgive me for disrespecting you Madear. I’m sorry for ruining you and Neicee’s special day. I love all of you. It’s been so hard losing my son.”
“We love you too Cuz.” Boo pulled me in for a hug and everybody else did except for Madear. She was a petty ass old lady. I sucked it up and walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. In all actuality she was the closest thing I had to a mother.
“I love you baby. Get yourself together and fight for your family. God doesn’t make mistakes and everything happens for a reason. The next time you disrespect me I’m going to punch your ass in the throat so hard that you’ll need a trachea to breathe. Madear loves you baby, don’t ever forget that,” she whispered in my ear and kissed me on the jaw. Only Madear would threaten me bodily harm and say that she loves me in the same sentence.
“Now that all that mushy shit is out of the way, why you beat ole girl’s ass like that?” Boo said making everybody laugh.
“That bitch was laughing when I fell.”
“You whooped that ass real good. That bitch was crying. Looking all ugly and shit. Neicee made her ass leave after that.”
“I’m sorry again for ruining things. Let me get home and get it together. I need to prepare myself for Remy. He’s going to kill me for hitting his Maserati.” I called his phone several times but he never answered. After a while he sent me a text telling me not to call him and that he would call me when he and Heaven get back from Disney World. Remy didn’t have to just take her and leave like that. We had been planning for this trip as a family. He didn’t have to exclude me, that shit was downright petty. Since Heaven was gone, I decided to just spend that time getting my shit together and being a better parent.
*****
It had been a week since Remy and Heaven had come back from their vacation. He just dropped her off and pulled away. I tried to apologize for walking out but kissing his ass was not on the motherfucking menu. He could continue acting like a bitch all he wanted to. I had been coming to grips with my son’s death. It was summer and I was on vacation from school. I had passed all my classes for the first semester. I was so proud of myself. All I wanted to do was celebrate my accomplishments.
I hit Honey and Neicee up and we all decided to go to Pappadeaux and later out for drinks. It was hot as hell so I put on the shortest shorts that I could find and a shirt that showed my stomach. My body was looking good. It didn’t even look like I had given birth. I had been using Aloe Vera to heal the numerous scars that Ace had left on my body. Speaking of that deranged motherfucker, his prison psychologist had been reaching out to me, asking me to sit in on some of his sessions. I wish the fuck I would. I have no words for his ass and I mean that shit. We legally have no ties to each other. If he knows like I know he better focus on not dropping the soap. I’m not exactly at my happiest right now but I am happy to have him away from me and my daughter. He has a long time before he’ll ever see the light of day. Knowing that I feel so much safer.
Neicee and Honey were already at the restaurant when I made it there.
“Damn! You hoes couldn’t wait until I made it to order drinks?”
“Hell no! Your ass is always late,” Honey said as she knocked her drink back.
“I’m so happy you’re smiling again Rose`. I’m not going to even lie I thought you had lost your mind.”
“Trust and believe me. For a minute I really did lose my mind, especially when I walked out on Remy. He’s not fucking with me period. I understand that he doesn’t want anything to do with me, I just wish he would forgive me.” I gestured for the waitress to come. When she came over I ordered a Peach Margarita with an extra shot of Patron and lime.
“He’ll come around. That nigga love you. Plus, if it was over there would be divorce proceedings and neither one of y’all is talking about divorce so let him calm down.” Neicee always knows just what to say to make things better. She has been working for Remy and has been his friend for a long time, so she knows how he operates.
“Enough about me how is married life?”
“It’s cool. I love Peanut and I know that he loves me and Lil’ Peanut. I do think that he still fucking with Kim though. One day we were in the car together and his phone was ringing. He looked at the screen and ignored it. Before he did it I was able to see her full name, Kimbella. I didn’t even say shit. I’m not about to act no fool. If they’re still fucking around that shit will come out. Madear might as well get ready. His ass is going to the E.R and I’m going to the county jail.” We were all laughing so hard that we never noticed when Boo walked to the table.
“Hey baby. What are you doing here?”
“Get the fuck up and let’s go right now!” He yanked Honey but she pulled away from him.
“Let me go Brion! What the fuck is your problem?’ For a minute I forgot that this was his real name. All we do is call him Boo.
“Please, y’all stop this is front of all these people.” I stood up and stepped in between them.
“Move Rose`!” He reached around me and I was still yanking her. Now Honey was standing up and swinging over me to get to him.
“What is going on Boo?” Neicee asked as she stood in between them.
“Ask your dick sucking ass friend. I should have left that bitch on the pole.” He snatched her purse from her hand and emptied all the contents. He took her car and house keys.
“All this shit is not necessary Boo. You are wrong for doing her like this,” I said as I was trying to keep from getting hit from her swinging on him.
“I’m not thinking about his ass. He want to walk around cheating and doing what the fuck he wants to do. His ass figured out I can do the shit way better than him. If you can’t beat them join them and that’s exactly what the fuck I did. You can keep them keys. Before I met you I had a car and a crib. Trust and believe me that pole has been taking care of me for quite some time. Fuck out my face with this bullshit. ” All of a sudden he grabbed her ass by that long ass blonde hair and dragged her out of the restaurant. She was fighting and kicking the whole way out. We were right behind them trying to stop them.
“Get the fuck in the car Honey before I slap the shit out of you!”
“I’m going to slap your ass right back.” She got inside the car and he hopped in and sped off.
“Both of their asses are crazy,” Neicee said as we both just stood in the damn parking lot in disbelief.
“So much for a nice evening out. Let’s go get the kids and head home.
“Hell no. Let’s go to the Kitty Kat. King Louie performing tonight.”
“I’m not trying to see Remy tonight.”
“Bitch bye. Remy ain’t fucking with you so he ain’t got no reason to say shit about you out kicking it.” I wanted to go home but fuck it. I was looking too damn good to go home. Plus, I wanted Remy to see what the fuck he is missing.
Chapter 3- Remy
It was hard as hell teaching Rose` a lesson. None the less I had to do it. I could not let her think it was okay to just walk out and think that everything was okay. I understand her hurt and pain about our son. What I don’t understand is how she has a total disregard of my hurt and pain. Not once since the shit
happened has she asked how I felt. Contrary to what any motherfucker thinks of me and my decisions, I’m a good ass man to her and Heaven. Each and every day I regret going to Mexico. Had I never went my son would be here with us. If I could turn back the hands of time I would have definitely did things differently.
One of the biggest parties of the year was being held in my spot. Rappers from all sides of the city were in the building. I heightened security due to the ongoing street wars that have plagued the city. I was not about to have any bloodshed in my place of business. The last thing I needed was the police shutting my shit down because these motherfuckers didn’t know how to act. It was packed to capacity and I was charging fifty dollars a head. So I knew for a fact I was checking a bag off of the event. Plus, the girls were dancing in between performances and doing lap dances.
As I sat in my chair I thought about the information the private detective found for me. Ava had been spotted in Miami. She called herself hiding but the bitch wasn’t that bright. She must have forgotten my cartel runs shit down there. I had already booked a flight for myself, Peanut, Boo, and of course Rose`. There was no way I was going down there without her. I was going to wait until we arrived in Miami to tell her our reason for being there. She was too emotional these days and I needed her on point. A knock at my office door brought me out of my thoughts.
“What’s up Mo?” He was my new head of security and could knock a motherfucker out with one punch, with his big ole’ Debo looking ass.
“The floor is looking good. I just wanted to let you know Mrs. Ramirez and Neicee are in the building and they’re getting wasted.”
“She gone make me kill her ass.” I got up and followed him downstairs. Once I made it down there I became livid as I looked at what the fuck she had on, not to mention some nigga was all up in her personal space. I fell back and just watched as her and Neicee entertained these niggas as if they weren’t married women. I was done when the nigga grabbed her cellphone and put his number in her phone. He whispered in her ear and walked off. I was fuming as she smiled as if she had won the lottery.