by Ivy Hayes
There was a devastating plague that had hit our village and my sister and I had both caught it. We were desperately sick, so sick my parents thought we would both die. I was sick first, then Poppy a few days later. She must have gotten it from me, as she never left my side, nursing me and trying to keep my fever down. I still blame myself for her death.
Every memory from those days involved Poppy. She was in the bed right next to me and every time I woke – there she was. Seeing her did nothing but terrify me. Her face was covered in sores and she looked so pale and weak. Her lips were dry and cracked, her eyes crusted over. I thought I looked the same. Later, I learned that she was affected far worse than I was and I never developed any of the sores. My parents thought that was why I lived when she didn’t.
I think it was the shifting waking up inside of me, as I have never been sick since.
I cannot recall how many days passed in that fevered state. When I finally woke up free of the delirium, I was alone in the bed. I thought Poppy was already up running around. My parents called for the healer once they saw me. My fever was broken, my complexion was normal and I was hungry for the first time in ages, so the healer had declared me out of danger. I still had some recovery to do but I would not die.
With this, my parents decided I was strong enough to have the truth. They had waited to tell me, not wanting to risk me giving up the fight once I found out. Dehydration was declared as the official cause of Poppy’s death. She was too sick to drink anything down, without throwing it back up. That plus the fever ravishing our bodies, it was too much for her. Without enough water or nutrients, her body could not fight anymore.
My heart broke with the news and that was the first night I shifted. To this day, I don’t know if it was the sickness or her death that triggered it.
I thought my first shift was a dream. I fell asleep after hours of crying, only to wake up flying over the treetops.
Only in a dream could I soar over the treetops. Only in a dream could I see for miles around me. I soared up towards the moon, then dove back down in a rapid flurry. I flew without abandon. I was happy, and only in a dream could I be happy.
It was sometime later I learned the truth, that all of this was not a dream. After hours of flying, I passed over my house and then I saw the village square with the still smoldering pyre. The sight of it shocked me into the truth, as for why would I dream about this. If my dream was meant to be happy, this is the exact opposite of what I was supposed to experience.
The pyre that had been used to burn all the dead who the sickness claimed. The practical side of me understands why everyone had to be burned, not buried. We had to ensure that the sickness was swept away and all traces of it destroyed. The emotional part of me was disgusted. When people die, they are meant to be given back to the earth and have a tree planted over their grave. Denying people this burial is destroying their final purpose. It is not right.
Worse still, the fire was still burning and no one was standing vigil. They left our dead to be alone in their final moments on the earth. They left my sister alone.
I should have thought of my safety and my new identity but all I could think about was Poppy. Alone and burning. I landed without a second thought and hopped over to the still smoldering pile. At some point, I fell asleep, lost in a world without my sister.
I transitioned back as soon as I fell asleep and I was awoken sometime later by my mother. She went to check on me in the early morning and when I was not in my room, she came looking. It did not surprise her one bit to find me out there, though she did wonder where all my clothes were. I crawled into her lap and together, we cried.
That was the last time I ever felt secure, being cradled in my mother’s arms.
Shaking myself out of those thoughts, I set a firm resolve that I would find my clan. If I can’t have my family, I can at least have them. I never quite lost the feeling of loneliness when I was with them but I was close Besides they are all I have now. Until I hear otherwise, I will believe they are okay and that I will find them again.
The lunch rush has finally slowed to a trickle and the place was almost empty. Not much work left to do right now, so Nash motioned me over to the bar for a break. As I approached, he was busy setting out our lunch and pouring me a pint. “Eat up and relax, we earned it. It was a busy one today.”
I smile at him and take a long drink of my pint. “Nash, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, I don’t see why not.”
“Do you think those we lose ever leave us?” I guess my afternoon thoughts really got to me.
“Course they don’t.” He looked stricken, “What brings this up?”
Giving my stew a stir, partly to cool it down and partly to give my hands something to do, “Oh nothing, just some memories from when I was young. I have always thought that once they were gone, they were gone for good, but now I am not so sure.”
“My gran used to always say a person splits into two when they die. The first half is their physical body. That half is the one we bury. We plant a tree over them to give the physical body it’s second and eternal life. As the body decays, it feeds the new tree which in turn feeds the forest around it, eventually feeding the next generation.”
“But what if the person was not buried, what if they were burned?”
“Then their ash will produce some nutrients for the earth and those will help a wider variety of plants grow.”
“But you can’t visit them,” I whisper.
Nash nods, “No, you can’t but that is where the other half comes in. Their spiritual half. That is the half that never leaves us.” He paused, looking far off. I did not say anything though, my silence urging him to continue.
“Gran always used to claim to feel them, but I never could. I think she would say that to bring peace to people. I have always felt their spirit lived inside each of us. Lived in our memories and experiences. They help shape us when we most need it.”
“But the memories hurt.”
“That they do, but eventually they will hurt less and the longer they are gone, the more you will cherish those memories. Bodies are not meant to live forever, but memories will.”
“Until there is no one left to remember them.”
“That is just the way it is. Don’t fret too much about this Ash.”
“I won’t, I was just thinking of someone really special to me.”
With a voice that sounded much older than he is, “You won’t be alone forever, lass.”
I looked up to ask what he meant as the door behind me blew open. We turned to see who came in and it was four of the men from Liz’s house. They must be done, Liz is no doubt relieved. I start to push my stew away, I hadn’t eaten any, but I don’t have an appetite to anyway.
Nash stopped me before I could stand up. “Sit back down and eat, I can go get the order. Take a few minutes for yourself.” He was giving me some needed time to gather my thoughts.
Walking out from behind the bar, he announces “Besides, these men are far too raucous to deserve service from such a fine young woman.” I chuckled, just like Nash, finding a way to lighten the mood and draw attention away from me.
One of them yelled back, “Aw Nash, you don’t give yourself enough credit, your beauty is beyond compare.”
“At least I am pretty before folks have had themselves a drink, can’t say the same for you, Grant.” That caused an eruption of laughter amongst the men and some back slaps for Grant.
I will never understand a man’s sense of humor. It is always insulting, but two men could say the exact same thing and have entirely different results. If it was a friend, they would laugh until their side hurts. If it was a stranger, a brawl could erupt within seconds.
“Nash, you hurt my feelings.” Grant looked about as confident as a man who did not take the insult seriously. “Besides, that’s not what you were saying the other night.” He winked and laughed out loud.
“Oh boy, nothing like that, I was just wondering why
you hadn’t settled down with a nice lady yet.” Nash was now standing at their table. “But now I can see it’s your manners scaring them away.”
“Alright, alright if you both keep bantering, we will never get a drink,” The blue-eyed man spoke up. “Nash, can we get a round of ale, this one is on me – I lost a bet earlier.”
One of the other men shouted, “He got weak, being away for so long, took twice as long as the rest of us to fell a tree.”
“That I did, but I can still drink you lot under the table.”
“I bet you can, Gregory. I will be right back with the drinks. Do you want anything to eat?”
“No, we have to be hungry for the feast tonight. My mother would be furious if we came back already full.” He had a slightly guilty look, “And we already had quite a few meat buns on our way over.”
“And I am guessing you cleared them out?” Gregory nodded and Nash let out a laugh, “You are single-handedly keeping them in business. I will be right back with your pints.”
On his way back to the bar, Nash stopped at the other two tables to see how they were doing. One was just finishing, so he cleared away their plates. The other, a table of two merchants wanted another round. Seeing that, I got up to help him deliver the orders.
Nash took the four drinks to the group of locals, I went to the merchant’s table. I was distracted by Gregory, the blue-eyed devil when I felt a hand grab my backside. Snapping my attention to the man in front of me, rage burned in my eyes. I see why they wanted another drink, they thought they could have a grab at me. Rising my hand to prepare my assault, I was shocked when his grip was lost and the merchant was thrown out of his chair. Thinking it was Nash, I turned around and met the stormy eyes of Gregory. He did a quick check to see that I was okay, then had the merchant by the neck up against the back wall before I could so much as blink.
Gregory was so close to the man’s face, whispering threats that only I and the merchant could hear. “How dare you grab a woman without her permission.” The merchant looked terrified. Gregory was slightly taller than him, but twice as large, “In this town, we respect people and don’t act like animals.” He squeezed harder. “Do you know what happens to animals when they act rabid?” The merchant nodded frantically, his face was starting to turn red. “I need you to understand that if I ever see you in here again, I will put you down.” The merchant looked as if he was about to pass out, Gregory gave one final squeeze then dropped the man from the wall.
“Leave,” Gregory said.
The merchant’s friend ran over and grabbed him, then the two men half stumbled, half ran out of the tavern.
Seeing the man outside, Gregory turned to look at me, an expectant look in his eyes. I was suddenly inflamed. “I had that handled,” I shouted at him.
He looked dumbfounded, “What?”
I snapped, “I didn’t need you to swoop in and save the day but if I ever do, I will shriek loud enough for it to be obvious.”
“But he had a fistful of your ass. Was I supposed to just leave it there?” He shouted back.
“I had it handled. One more second and I would have knocked him out of that chair myself.” I lowered my volume to slightly louder than a whisper, “I don’t need your protection.”
I turned and started for the stairs, “Nash, I trust you can handle the bar for the next few hours. I need a break to cool down.”
Looking between Gregory and me, he nodded, “Aye, go calm down. Head back around dinner time.”
I shot Gregory a glare, with what I hoped was enough venom to scare him away from me. I needed to push him away, and hard. My rage was faked, but it burned off the sudden passion that came over me. His sudden appearance to my defense, plus his astonishing strength shivers through my whole body. It excited me more than I have ever been. At that moment, nothing was more dangerous than my attraction to him.
I fed every ounce of my anger towards the world that prevented us having a normal chance into a glare, then turned and stalked upstairs. I didn’t look back but I could feel his eyes burning a hole in my back the whole way.
THREE – GREGORY
What the hell just happened? I thought she would be grateful for my help, though that is not why I leaped into action. When I saw his intention to grab her, my vision turned red. The urge to protect her was so sudden, I was on my feet and heading to the table in seconds. I did not get there soon enough to stop him but he wasn’t able to hold her for long. All I could think about was hurting him. I threw him out of his chair and had him against the wall in a flash. He is lucky I let him walk away without pounding him senseless. I would have if I didn’t see Ash out of the corner of my eye. Seeing her calmed me enough to not hurt him, but it didn’t stop me from scaring him. Watching him hurry out of the tavern, I was sure he was too scared to attempt anything else. My job should have been done there.
After he left, I turned to look at Ash and I was stunned for two reasons.
The first, she was standing so close to me – too close to be proper. I could see every tiny freckle splattered across her nose and I could smell her heavenly aroma. I was right, she smelled like summer: like sunshine, wildflowers and the forest. Her nearness shocked me into sudden stillness, lest I ruin the moment and scare her away.
The second was the fire in her eyes and the anger they carried. Her smell and that look would have left me stupefied if she didn’t start yelling at me. I am a fighter to the core and as soon as someone directs their anger towards me, I snap to attention.
I had her all chalked up as insane and I was ready to chase her out of town – despite my attraction. I was already drafting my fight back when she shocked me, yet again with her last whispered sentence, “I can protect myself.” That short sentence undid all my fight, more than seeing unbeatable foe would have. The quiver of her voice and the flash of vulnerability gave her away. She destroyed any notion of a mad woman in that one quick crack in her façade.
I became entranced with the urge to protect her. My draw to her is so strong, I can’t stop thinking about anything except her.
Watching her strut away up the stairs, it took all my self-control not to chase after her. Her hips swayed side to side and I was instantly reminded how her whole backside looked when she was naked; curvy and plump. It deserved to be worshipped. I find myself wondering if the blush would extend over her entire body when she is mad? My cock perked up, imagining that blush covering her perfect breasts.
Walking back to the table, I grab my fresh pint and chug it down in one smooth motion. Those thoughts about her are trouble and I find myself wanted to drink into abandon. Drink enough that I stop obsessing over every little part of her.
I want her to open to me - and for me.
No, trying to scold some sense into myself, she needs to leave. A shifter is dangerous to be around for many reasons, but most of all, she could attract Ridders.
Grant senses my troubled mood but he thinks it is solely because she turned me down. He does not know the war raging inside me. Trying to do what brothers do best, he is attempting to lighten my mood and raise my spirits.
“I told you, Gregory, she hasn’t shown the slightest interest in any of us. You weren’t going to change that by being a knight in shining armor.”
“I know, she made that loud and clear, she doesn’t need one.” But she does, I think to myself.
“Nope, and I don’t think Nash is going to let you live that down for quite some time. He looked like he was going to die from laughing after she went upstairs.”
Grant was right, Nash broke into a jolly laugh, then reminded all of us to leave her be. He has always acted as an honorary father to the girls who work here. Something the whole community is grateful for. It’s a relief knowing the young woman are looked after, especially since the ones who work in taverns typically don’t have any family of their own to protect them.
“I am sure I will never hear the end of it from any of you. It’s a wonder why she got so mad though?” Determined, I wi
ll find out, next time I see her.
“She is probably just fed up with everyone bothering her. Nash said she is a pretty private person, but everyone has treated her as a new toy since she arrived. Poor girl must have only wanted to be left alone, not rescued by some stranger. A stranger who probably expected something in gratitude.”
Shaking my head, “No, I don’t think that is it. After being around Nash for so long, she must have known that one of us in here would protect her from wandering hands. I think it must have been something else, I just don’t know what.” And it’s driving me mad.
“Could it have been her disappointment at seeing it was you?” His face lit up with a grin, “Maybe she was hoping for the other brother.”
Despite myself, I started smiling, Grant really does have a way of lightening up the situation. “Ha Ha. I doubt it. As we discussed earlier, you are only pretty after a few pints. No one except mother would love you sober.”
“Hopefully they are planning on having plenty of drinks at dinner tonight then, I would loathe being hated.”
“Oh god, the dinner.” I had forgotten. Remembering only made me want to have another drink. Tonight was not going to end well. I chugged the rest of my beer, “One more? I need to talk to you about something?”
FOUR – GREGORY
When I told Grant about our father’s plan to marry off Gwen, he was not as upset as I thought he would be. Two years ago, he spent six-months in Westhaven. He was part of the plan to smooth the waters between our two villages. Apparently, Grant really likes Parker, he has his father’s strength but is double the man. Grant is confident that Gwen would be happy with him.