Shifting Hearts

by Ivy Hayes

  I will have to leave him a note apologizing and explaining my departure. Well, not explaining, just telling him that I have gone, and will not be coming back. I already feel terrible for not saying goodbye, but there is no other way. I hope he doesn’t get too worried, he has been so kind to me from the moment I arrived. Never questioning why I showed up in ill-fitting clothes, or why I didn’t have any possession, considering I obviously traveled a great distance.

  I feel even worse for the stealing I am about to do. I need a good waterskin and some rations; enough to at least get me through the first couple of days. After that, I can forage for something to eat in the woods. I would do it from the beginning, but foraging takes time and I don’t have much to spare. Right now, I need to make some serious distance between myself and Cliffden.

  One day, I’ll have to come back and repay him. After things have settled.

  Approaching the tavern, I see it is moderately busy. The market crowd is going to work to my advantage, I will be able to slip in and out of the kitchen without being seen. Circling around the building, I head in by the back door. Thankfully, there is no one in the kitchen.

  I hate the espionage.

  Making a quick run into the dry storage, I grab a sack, some hard cheese, bread, dried meat and two pears. Unfortunately, I don’t see a water sack right away but there is a small travel pot. Adding that to my bag, I try and think where the water sacks might be. I know he keeps a few around, the occasional traveler needs to buy a new one. Damn, he must have them behind the bar, anticipating a few buyers in the market crowd.

  Stashing my bag of travel rations, I compose myself enough to head out to the front. I am going to have to pretend nothing is happening long enough to get my hands on a sack. For a second, I contemplate going without one, but with the heat wave, I wouldn’t make it very far.

  Exiting back through the back door, so I can enter in the front, I come up with a cover story. Once inside, I head directly towards the bar. I walk behind it like I have done many times before and Nash greets me. “Hey, Ash, what are you doing in here, it’s your night off?”

  “I know, I came to steal a drink for my room. I don’t know if you heard, but I have had a hell of a day.”

  “Young Tom was in a bit ago, he told me the part of the story he knows. I am relieved those boys found you before anything happened.” Someone was trying to get Nash’s attention on the other side of the bar.

  “I am too. I have to apologize, Nash, I am not in the most social mood tonight. I really would like to grab some wine and be on my way upstairs.” I point over at the patron, “Looks like you are needed.”

  Turning his head to see the man, “Blast, drunk men are the most impatient.” He motioned towards the bottom shelf, “Pick out whatever you like and I’ll see you tomorrow…if you’re up for it.”

  “Thanks, Nash.” As soon as he turned around, I picked up a random bottle of wine and one of the full waterskins on the shelf right above, then head back into the kitchen.

  From there, I head for the back staircase. It’s the only access to the rooms belonging to those of us who live here. It’s private and safe. I grab my travel sack and drop off the bottle of wine on my way to the stairs. Now all I need to do is change my dress to something more suited for the road, pack essentials and write my letter to Nash.

  Closing the door to my room, I look around and take in my meager surroundings. I do not have many possessions, mainly a few changes of clothes. I haven’t been here long enough to build up any real decorations but it’s still going to be painful having to start all over again.

  The room itself is nothing special, it’s quite small and only has enough room for a bed, desk, washbasin and chamber pot. But it was mine. Being a shifter, it is hard for me to feel welcome anywhere, but from the first instant I entered this room, it felt like home. Maybe it was the smells wafting up from the kitchen, or the small window overlooking the river; or maybe it was just knowing that when I was here, I could truly be myself. Whatever the reason, it was a security blanket when I didn’t expect to find one.

  I change into one of my dresses, then drape my travel cloak over my shoulders. The first things I purchased when I got my paycheck was a good cloak, and an even better pair of shoes. With my second paycheck, I obtained a sturdy knife and a tinderbox. I hoped I wouldn’t have to use them, but I wanted to be prepared in case the need arrived. I am glad for my foresight.

  Once dressed, I stuffed some more undergarments, an extra dress and the rest of my supplies in the travel sack. I was tempted not to waste the space on the extra dress, but I would need to appear clean when I arrived in Westhaven. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have any hopes of getting a job there.

  Swinging it over my shoulder, I walked out the door and didn’t look back.

  FOURTEEN – ASH

  It’s a pain to get out of town with all the market traffic. It takes me about twice as long as it should getting outside the village limits. I gave up any hopes of not being seen on my way out, I decided distance was more important. Since most of the people I passed were from another town, I took the chance that no one would recognize me, or try to stop me.

  I made it. Being on the open road, I can finally exhale the breath I had been holding since Gregory revealed his knowledge. I have been walking at a grueling pace since I left the crowds behind, covering a lot of ground in the last hour. I don’t want to stop, but I can’t risk falling and injuring myself by walking in the dark. I judge there are about thirty minutes of light left, so I need to make camp. If I find a spot far enough from the road, I can light a small fire to keep me warm. Gregory should not be on my path until the morning, so the fire should not be a risk tonight. Going forward, I won’t risk it, lest he is on the road looking for me after dark and the light of the fire would be a beacon for him.

  I might as well enjoy the warmth while I can. I can even boil some water to make a pot of tea. I passed a pine tree not too long ago and found some rosebuds, those together should make a pretty tasty brew. I know it’s extraneous, but a good cup of tea has always helped calm me down and I desperately need that tonight. I fear I won’t sleep without something.

  Leaving the road behind, I step in the bush on the hunt for a small clearing. I won’t need a ton of space, just enough to have the fire and space to lie beside it. It’s much darker under the tree cover, making me glad I did not wait any longer before heading in. Idly picking up logs and twigs as I go, I keep my eyes down, watching my step.

  I try and fail to fight the depression settling over me. It was so easy for me to pack up and leave, to run away and hide in the woods. All I want is a normal life. I don’t want to be so good at sneaking, to have these survival skills. But there is no point crying over my lot in life. Trying to pull myself out of the sadness, I attempt to think of positive things. It’s fruitless, as hard as I try, I can’t seem to think of anything in my life that doesn’t have a dark cloud over it. My family is all but lost. My clan is scattered, they may be destroyed. I am doomed to never love, I can’t put someone else at risk. The worst realization, I will never have a home. I will never belong anywhere.

  My mood is so dark, even when I find a good place to set camp, it doesn’t brighten. I go through the motions of lighting the fire. It’s too easy, which only depresses me more. I am too good at being on my own, and now I don’t even have that task to distract me. Placing the water and tea ingredients in the pot to boil, I set out to gather some more firewood before I lose all the light.

  Loading my arms with more wood than I can possibly use, I head back just as the last light disappears. I add a few more logs to the dwindling fire and check on my tea. It is boiling, so I take it off the fire. Once it cools enough, I will drink it straight out of the pot. I didn’t even think about packing cups or cutlery. Using the light of the fire, I prepare a small dinner for myself. I have a small bit of the bread and cheese and a sausage. Deciding to save the pears for tomorrow, I dig into my meager dinner.

  I take
small bites, hoping to draw out the task of eating. Between bites of cold sausage, I picture myself instead, comfy in my bed at Nash’s. Ready for sleep after a warm, filling dinner of his latest culinary creation. I wonder what it was. Frowning down at my hand, I finish the last bit of my bread.

  I start to drink my tea and after the first sip, I put it down. The pine was a terrible idea, it only reminds me of Gregory’s soap. There goes all hopes of the tea putting me to sleep, in fact, it did the opposite. After last night’s restless sleep, tonight should have been cake to fall asleep, but plagued by the memory of Gregory’s touch, my mind is wide awake. Sighing, I dump out the tea and sit staring at the fire for a while. I try and get comfortable, but I am not near anything to lean on. I might as well lay down, perhaps the position will help lull me into sleep. So, wrapped up in my cloak, I find myself lying down. Naturally, I am reminded of Gregory’s giant bed. Instead of waking up with my head on Gregory’s hard chest, I am resting it on the hard forest floor.

  Given that I am already depressed, I don’t stop my memories from today replaying in my mind. Those short minutes of intimacy were the best minutes I have had in years. If it wasn’t for Grant knocking, I am sure we would have gone even further. Further to do something I have never done with anyone. Thank god we didn’t though, I doubt I would have had the strength to leave after losing myself to Gregory like that. Thinking of his mouth on my breasts, about his arms holding me close, I feel myself start to get wet. His instant effect on me is uncanny. A wicked thought passes my mind, pleasuring myself thinking of him might be just what I need to fall asleep.

  Reaching one hand down to my sex, I hear a rustling in the trees. I look up and see an owl watching me. I am sure it will fly off in a second, chasing a mouse or whatever owl’s do. Not letting it deter me, I slide one finger inside myself, starting a slow massage.

  I let out a low moan, grateful there is no one around to hear me. It feels so good. Sliding my finger back out, I rub the soft nub of my clit, soon that is not enough and I plunge my finger back in my pussy. As soon as I do, the owl flies off the tree and lands right in front of me.

  I immediately stop what I was doing and sat up on my elbow, “What the hell?” Before I finish that sentence, the owl disappears and Gregory’s naked, very erect form is standing right in front of me. Holy shit, he is a shifter too. That must be why he didn’t turn me in right away, he understands the weight of that secret.

  “I was determined to just watch over you tonight, then find you in the morning.” He knelt on the ground to get closer to me, “But as soon as you started touching yourself, I lost all my resolve.” He leaned forward and took my mouth in his.

  “Gregory, you are,” he deepened the kiss to silence me. “Hush, Ash, we can talk about that later.”

  Reaching towards my pussy, he brushes the opening ever so slightly then asks, “Can I take over?”

  I gulp, then nod and he plunges one finger deep inside me. He keeps his hold on me and we stare at each other. I start grinding my hips against his hand, meeting his movements. His finger slides in and my hips move forward, then out, I pull back. Faster and faster. I start to moan and he stops, taking his finger out of me. I open my eyes and see he is moving to undress me.

  “My sweet eagle, will you kneel so I can take your dress off? I doubt you want me to rip this one like I did with the other.”

  I rise, “Please, no. At that rate, I would be out of clothes by tomorrow.” He reaches behind me and unlaces the back. As soon as it is loose enough to slip off, he raises the dress over my head. Our eyes lose contact for the span of time it takes. With my dress off, he takes his time looking over my body. Starting at my bent knees and dragging them up slowly, pausing at my more intimate parts, until our eyes meet again. I am blown away by the desire in them.

  With a deep voice, he says, “Lay back down, Ash.” And I obey. As soon as my back is flat on the ground, he is hovering on top of me kissing again. Reaching a hand up, he grasps my left breast and starts massaging it. I wiggled underneath him, needing more. Sensing my desire, he chuckles, “My sweet-eagle, be patient. I am going to worship your whole body. You can make as much noise as you want, but don’t try and get up.”

  I ask, “What do you mean?”

  “It’s easier if I show you, don’t try and get up.” With that, he lowers his head from my mouth and starts trailing kisses down my neck. He slows as he nears my right breast, “Would you like me to put this perky tit in my mouth?” He asks, and I moan out a desperate yes. He starts to tease it. First, he only uses his tongue, making my nipple harder. “More,” I say, but he doesn’t oblige, instead he moves to my other nipple, giving it the same tease.

  “Gregory, please,” I say barely audible. Only then does he take my left nipple in his mouth and suck, hard. At the same time, his right-hand grabs my other nipple and gives it a soft twist. The shock of both things at once nearly sends me into an orgasm. I practically scream my moan.

  At that, he decides my nipples have had enough treatment and he starts to kiss himself lower down my body. I start to panic as his face nears my center and I try to sit up, “Gregory, what are you doing?”

  “I am going to taste you,” he grabs ahold of my hips, stopping my rise, “I told you not get up.”

  “You startled me, no one has ever had their mouth on me down there… I didn’t know what you were trying to do.” That seemed to please him, as he left out an earthy moan, “I will be the only one to taste you.” I can’t tell if that was a question or a statement.

  I nod but stop when I realize he can’t see me. He was brazen with his next question, “Will I be the first to have sex with you?”

  All I can muster is a shaky, “Yes.” As soon as he hears it, Gregory dives his tongue in my slit, exactly where his fingers had been earlier. It felt like pure ecstasy. There is no teasing with his tongue this time, he is driving it in and out of me. I am unabashedly grinding my hips against his face. He moves his tongue from my slit to my clit. As he is licking there, he sticks one finger inside my pussy. I moan his name, “Gregory.” He slides that finger out, then puts two in. He starts a slow massage with his fingers while devouring my clit. It is too much and I come apart in seconds, holding on to his hair and screaming out his name.

  Slowing his attention on my pussy, he lets me ride out the waves of pleasure. As soon as my inner lips stop squeezing around his fingers, he rises to kiss me. I can taste myself on his lips.

  His erection is poised to enter my vagina, “When I enter you, you will feel some pain. I will do my best not to move until you adjust.” He looks pained, like waiting to speak these words to me is an unbearable torture. “Are you ready?”

  “I need you inside me, more than I need the air.” I breathe out, “I want you to take me.”

  He does just that. He thrusts in me in one quick motion, burying his member deep in me, then stilling. My eyes water from the initial pain, but it passes almost as soon as it came. Breathing deeply, I give my body a second to adjust to him filling me completely. The whole time, he has his face buried in my hair and he mutters, “You feel so perfect, so tight.” I love the sound of his voice so much, his next statement doesn’t even spook me, “Ash, you are all I want. You are mine.”

  The pain has passed, and I am eager for more. His mutterings stop suddenly when I start to move my hips against his. I arch up, causing him to go in deeper than he already is and he stops breathing. He slides his cock out, then slowly slides it back in. He looks deep into my eyes and does it a second time, achingly slow.

  He asks, “How did that feel, does it still hurt when I enter you?”

  Shaking my head, “No, it feels amazing.”

  “I am going to start going faster and harder, let me know immediately if I start to hurt you.” I nod, and he begins, just as he promised.

  He still pulls his cock all the way out, but instead of the slow teasing slide in, he slams it all the way into my core. I moan out, “Again.” Satisfied that he isn’t hu
rting me, he starts sliding in and out, faster and faster. I am lost in how wonderful he feels. My hands are all over him, running over his ass and back. Digging in with my pleasure. Moving my hips up to meet his thrust, I urge him deeper. He starts moaning out my name and it sounds so sweet on my ears.

  With his hardness deep inside me, he stills, then holds me close. Before I know it, we are flipped over. Gregory is on his back and I am straddling him. Seconds ago, I thought it impossible for him to get further inside me, but it seems I have much to learn. He grabs my ass, then sits up, so our fronts are flush with each other. “Start riding me,” he growls.

  The new position distracted me. “Guide me,” I respond and using his grip on my ass, he starts to lead me up and down. We start out slow and he says, “You are so sexy. I will always remember the sight of your ample tits bouncing in the firelight.” I moan out his name again.

  Urging me faster, we both are slick with sweat. I am clinging to him with all my power, trying to use my grip on him to increase my pace. He starts to speak again, “When you come this time, I want you to scream my name,” then he lowers himself to take my tits in his mouth. As soon as he started sucking on my nipple, I explode. This made my orgasm earlier feel like nothing. I screamed his name, “GREGORY,” and I am sure I was heard all the way back in town. He starts to move his hips faster and it draws out my orgasm. I hear him grunt and then scream my name. His cock empties inside me and he moves his hands from my ass, switching to a hug so he could hold me close.

  I sit on top of him for some time, recovering from the orgasm that just shook my world. He keeps holding me, running his hands through my hair and whispering to me, “You are beautiful,” and, “That was better than I could have dreamed.” So many sweet and tender words. I start to feel him deflate inside of me, and he lifts me up to slide his half-erect organ out of me. Then, laying down, he pulls me on top of him and covers us up with my cloak.