by Claire Marta
This is where I can be myself. My domain. With two bedrooms it’s airy and comfortable. I’ve never been one for clutter. Everything has its place. Most of my furniture comes from Ikea. Putting it all together was annoying at first until I got the knack.
Shrugging out of my jacket, I hang it up on a coat hook.
Days to myself are rare. It leaves me restless. Work keeps me busy and feeds my need for blood lust.
Drifting into the kitchen, I check the message on the land phone. With a beep the machine spring to life.
“It’s your mother.” The voice is cold. Void of natural warmth. “I wanted to wish you happy birthday and I’ll see you soon.”
A lie. She hasn’t been interested in me for the last twenty years. I’m nothing but a burden. Something to be swept under the carpet.
“Hey kiddo, it’s Uncle Dane. Happy Birthday. Wanted to let you know I’ll be in London next month for a week or so. Thought we could spend some time together. Go see Nate. Drop me a text when you get this.”
He’ll want to stay here. It’s fun when he does. We get talking about old times. Dane loves checking out any new gear I have. He may be retired, but the urge to hunt prey never dulls. It’s in our blood. A need. A talent we both possess.
Opening a cupboard, I retrieve a couple slices of bread from a plastic bag. Popping it into the toaster, I watch the red-light flick on.
Nathan. I need to go and see him today. It’s been over two weeks. Every time I’ve thought about seeing him I’ve changed my mind.
Sighing, I take down a plate, then butter from the fridge, and a knife.
Fuck. This shouldn’t be something I dread, but I do. It’s the hardest part of my life. Put a gun or knife in my hand and tell me to kill something I’ll have no problem. When it comes to my brother things get complicated. Emotions. Messy feelings are involved. At any other time, I can shut them off. Pretend they aren’t there. With everything I do I have learned to live without them.
But with family? They know how to draw them out. Bring them to the surface in a painful, sometimes uncontrollable wreck.
“Fuck it.” Rescuing the toast before it can burn, I slap a thick layer of butter across the blackened surface.
Washing, cleaning, whatever else I can fucking think of can wait. Procrastination has never been my thing.
Finding some resolve and munching on breakfast, I make a quick decision.
An hour later and changed into something fresh to wear, I’m standing outside the white bricked building in Kensington. It’s a private resident home. Expensive, exclusive. The best money can buy.
With a polite smile, the receptionist at the main desk greets me with a cheerful hello.
Signing in, I head down the familiar corridor. I’ve been here a lot over the last four years. Not much has changed since then. Not even the staff.
The soft sound of music floats from the main room. It’s something classical. A tune meant to lift the spirits of those who are kept here.
Not lingering, I move on. My feet follow the hall all the way down. Nathan’s room is at the back of the building with a view of the courtyard. Halting outside the door, I take a second to try and relax. This is never easy.
Adjusting the bag on my shoulder, I push open the door, a smile tacked on my face. “Hey, Nate.”
My breath catches in my throat. He’s been positioned in the chair at the end of the bed. Chequered pyjama's I bought him last Christmas emphasize the paleness of his skin. Even with physical therapy it hasn’t stopped his muscles from wasting away.
We don’t look like each other apart from our blue eyes. Where I’m a natural redhead under all the dye, his hair is so blonde it’s almost white.
A few days after his rape he slipped away from reality. Lost himself within the confines of his own mind. Twelve years old and he was no longer there. Now at the age of thirty-three he’s still the same. A living ghost.
Bridging the distance, I slowly take the free seat opposite his own. “I’ve brought you some comics.”
He never replies. I wish he would, but the doctors have told me not to get my hopes up. The trauma he suffered has locked him mentally away inside with no indication that he might come back out.
Blinking, he continues to stare unfocused, out into the bare winter garden beyond the window. If he knows that I’m here he gives no sign.
“Superman, your favourite.” Holding up the magazine, I wiggle it in front of his blank face. “I’m going to read them to you in a bit. Mum sends her love and apologizes that she can’t come see you. Uncle Dane said he would stop by next month and say hi.”
They’ve given up. Twenty years on and they can’t stand to see him like this. It hurts me too, but I’m not willing to walk away and leave him forgotten in a care home abandoned until he dies. He will always be my big brother. Family.
“I’m still saving the world trying to make you proud.” I continue, clearing my throat. “Gabriel’s still being a dick, but he’s not such a bad boss.”
Nathan knows all about Cease Fire and my team. I’ve told him. Whether he hears me, I don’t know, but in my heart, I hope he does.
“The guys threw me a party for my birthday at the pub. I wish you could have been there.” Taking his warm limp hand, I lace my fingers with his. “Nurse Carter said you got upset yesterday. You want to tell me what happened?”
Nate doesn’t move. The dreamy, far away expression I know so well remains fixed and unchanging on his gaunt face.
Disappointment is sharp. I’d give anything to have him answer me back. To see him smile.
“Nice to see you, Mavi.”
Glancing up, I find nurse Carter standing in the doorway. A calm, patient aura radiates from her like no other person I know. A little older than me her expression is serene. She’s got that kind of beauty that you think is plain at first. But the more you look the clearer you see her inner glow. You know people like that have risen to their calling. This is her gift to help troubled patients.
“You look tired.” I notice.
Her smile isn’t as bright as it normally is. A dim replica.
“I haven’t been sleeping very well lately. Bad dreams.” Stepping over the threshold into the room she makes her way to my side. “Superman, his favourite!”
Nathan’s bookshelves are already over stuffed with magazines. It’s something I bring him every visit. Something else we can share. A connection I so badly need.
“I know he has tons already, but these are collectables.” I defend.
Carter’s eyes widen as she loops a short blonde lock of hair behind her air. “Hey, you don’t have to explain to me. I’m a Doctor Strange fan myself.”
“About yesterday...”
I need to know. Every time he’s become aware I’ve never been here. It’s so unpredictable and has only happened a handful of times.
“You want to know what happened.” She says, mirroring my thoughts.
I nod.
“He was in the TV room with some of the other residents and seemed to lose it.”
“He got violent, you mean?”
“Yes.” Carter wraps her arms around her waist as if the images she’s recalling are unsettling. “His eyes were wild. Something fierce. The roar that came out of him scared the hell out of everyone. Then he started smashing things. It took six orderlies to get him down, even then, he wouldn’t calm.”
I release a long breath before speaking. “Did he say anything?”
“No. Never spoke a word.”
Clasping my brother’s hand tighter, I blink back tears. I carry the guilt of this. It’s my fault he’s here. That afternoon, twenty years ago, I didn’t save him, but condemned him to this. Whatever he saw that day I can’t remember.
A hand touches my shoulder. It’s light, caring. Makes me want to cry all the more, but somehow I suck my misery back inside.
“Hey, he’s ok and he didn’t hurt anyone, I promise.”
“I just wish I knew what was going on in his
head.” I admit in a whisper. It’s selfish wanting him to absolve me of the guilt I’ve harboured since that day. It’s my burden to bear.
“I love you, big brother.” Placing a kiss on his cheek I can’t resist ruffling his hair. It’s a gesture from our childhood. One he would always do to me. Mostly when he was teasing.
“Ok, let’s see what Superman gets up to.” Snatching up a comic book, I flip to the first page.
“Have fun.” Carter murmurs as she leaves.
Four hours later and I feel drained. It’s always the same when I visit him. Affects me every time. Arms wrapped around my middle, I trudge tiredly out into the car park. Seeing my brother has left me in a pensive mood. Emotions I normally keep hidden have burrowed to the surface.
My phone vibrates. Checking the screen, the number calling is unknown. Humming in displeasure, I debate whether to answer. The amount of people who have this number I can count on two hands. It’s for personal use. Business contacts are transacted through untraceable emails handled by my Boss. Leo, Snatch, and Caesar have it for emergencies. Although they are happy to bug me with drunken texts. Nathan’s care home, Gabriel, my uncle and mother are the only others.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Mavi.” Deep and sensual, that voice is hard to forget.
Max.
My steps falter to a halt leaving me standing in the middle of the street. I don’t like being caught by surprise. It’s an unpleasant feeling.
“Max, how did you get my number?” Suspicion is heavy in my tone.
“Would you be offended if I told you I stole it from your phone while you were asleep this morning?.”
I smile. Sneaky. Something I would’ve done. “No, I’m not offended, but I am curious why you wanted it.”
“How else could I ask you out to dinner tomorrow night?”
“Dinner?” I repeat the word as if it’s something new and unfamiliar. Why is Max the only male who can make me tongue tied? This is far beyond my normal routine. It usually stops at the bedroom door. He wants a date? I haven’t been on one of those since I started accepting hit jobs at eighteen.
“Mavi? Are you still there?”
Realizing I have let the silence stretch too long, I clear my throat. “I’d love to.”
Strangely, I find the idea appealing. Why shouldn’t I see Max again? He’s phenomenal in bed, charming, handsome with a dirty mouth. Did I mention the sex? One more time won’t hurt. A birthday present to myself before I walk away.
Chapter Five
A finger invades my mouth, sliding between my parted lips, pumping in and out suggestively. The other hand cups my naked breast. Desire ripples through me. Dark, delicious, and addictive.
Mist obscures the room. Swirling and heavy, it hides the intruder within its mysterious shrouds.
I’m frozen in place. Limbs leaden there is no way to fight back. Not that I want to. I’m lost in the moment. Writhing, I moan. It’s everything and nothing. Beyond expression with words. All I can do is feel and eagerly take whatever is given.
Cold lips latch onto my taut nipple.
Crying out, I arch at the insistent tug as my tit is suckled. The iciness of the touch sends heat pulsing between my legs. My lover's flesh is as raw and bitter as the grave. Yet, his stinging chill sets me on fire.
Sensations shift. Around me, the dream changes. Legs spread wide, male hips bear down against my inner thighs forcing them wider. A cock rubs teasingly along my pussy lips. Slit tingling, it sends sparks down to my toes. The urge to be filled pulses through me. A need to be consumed. Fucked until I am nothing more than a continuous echo of ecstasy.
He pushes all the way in to my waiting wet heat. Sliding to the hilt, he tears a scream from me with the painful fullness of his monstrous cock stretching me wide.
“What the?”
Kicking the sheets wrapped around my legs binds them tighter panicking me more. Jerking up, I haul them onto the floor. Anxiety seeps away. Wiping the sleepiness from my eyes I stifle a yawn. A quick look at the alarm clock alerts me to the fact I’m late. Fuck.
Gabriel has a bug up his arse about being punctual. Without my bike, I’ll need a lift. Fumbling for the mobile on the bedside table, I dial Caesar.
“Morning, Mavi.”
“I need a lift.”
Rolling off the mattress, I hit the floor with an unladylike thud. Disorientation from the dream remains. Feeling achy and horny as fuck isn’t helping. What a way to wake up.
“Normal spot?”
“Please. Can you give me thirty minutes?”
“Sure. See you then.”
I love how Caesar never asks questions. He just accepts. It’s probably why I get on with him so well. That and his wicked weapon building. I’m like a kid in a sweet shop when he brings his toys to the pub. Nothing gets me as hot as a new gun or knife. Well, apart from Max.
Remembering I have a date tonight, I fling open my wardrobe and scan the contents. What the fuck do I wear? I have no idea where he is taking me. Only where we agreed to meet. My eyes settle on a black dress. It’s short and clingy. Not too slutty. Black never goes out of style.
Unhooking it, I drape it across the bed. It will have to do.
Maybe Leo at work is right. I need to get screwed more regularly if my dream is any indication. Before bumping into Max, it’d been four months since I got laid. Way too long.
Searching out fresh underwear, jeans, and a top I head to the bathroom for a shower.
I’m in and out of the bathroom in record time. Next on my list is to arm up. I never leave the house without a little something. With a trip back to Cease Fire today I need something handy.
The .38 special revolver finds a home in my shoulder holster. Light weight, it holds six rounds and is super easy to shoot as well as accurate. I’m used to having a gun. It’s like carrying my keys or purse nowadays. Part of everyday life. Snatching up my backpack from a chair, I know it’s already packed and ready to go with spare ammo.
Jamming my sock covered feet into a comfy pair of trainers, I make a run for the front door. Leather jacket thrust on and the door is locked behind me.
Breakfast is an afterthought. One I know I won’t get anytime soon if I’m in need of a coffee. My own fault for not setting an alarm.
Dashing down the street, I make it to the corner on time. The familiar white van is waiting.
Caesar’s smile beneath his thick beard is amused as he watches me scramble into the passenger seat, panting heavily.
“I would have waited, you know.”
“Yeah, but we don’t need to be any later than we already are.” Clicking on my seatbelt, I accept the cup of coffee he holds out. “Thanks.” Just the smell brings my senses to life. Taking a sip, I swallow down some of the hot liquid.
“You look like you need it this morning.”
“That bad, huh?”
“You do know you’re supposed to relax on a day off?” He scolds, frowning at me from under his tartan cap.
“I did.”
“How?”
“I cleaned out my safe room. Stripped my guns down before putting them back together. Sorted knives and other hand to hand weapons into weight and accuracy.” Looping a strand of red hair behind my ear, I give him a grin. “What did you do?”
Focused on the road, Caesar pulls the vehicle out into the early morning traffic.
“I caught up on soap operas.”
“And?” I prompt. No way in hell he sat on his arse all day watching TV. We’re too much like. Both don’t do well when left idle.
“And I tinkered around with some new stuff I’ve been working on.” He admits gruffly.
Sipping my coffee, I relax in my seat. It’s nice for a change not driving myself. Something that doesn’t happen often.
It’s not long before we’re travelling down the tunnel which bridges our world to the other we know. If you don’t have a connection with the place, you won’t see it. The entrance remains closed. It’s why there isn’t many
humans in this war. Supernaturals, on the other hand, can’t seem to help themselves. They are drawn here. Something about the energy entices them.
A shiver rolls through me as the familiar current trickles over my skin. In the next moment, sunlight blinds me. Twisting my head to the side, I blink until my vision settles. It’s brighter here. Two suns have that effect.
Cease Fire makes me feel as if I’m stuck in a western. I’ve figured out it’s the layout of the street. One long promenade with buildings on either side. It gives that cowboy vibe. Which isn’t unsurprising with the number of brawls we get daily.
We pull up in front of the Black Penny pub. I spy my bike still parked. The second Caesar rolls the car to a halt, I’m out the door.
“Hey baby. I’m sorry I left you so long.” I coo. Running my fingers over her saddle, I check it over. My Harley is my pride and joy. This beauty cost me a pretty piece, but it was worth it. There’s nothing like her powerful engine surging to life before I roar down the street.
“Christ, Mavi. It’s just a machine.” Snatch calls from the open doorway.
Flashing a glare, I give him the middle finger. They like to tease me about it. The only one who understands is Caesar and that’s only because of his affinity with his own tech toys. Satisfied she’s untouched, I take the steps two at a time.
“You look like shit.” Gabriel complains the moment he sees me. “And you’re late.”
Arms crossed over his chest, the material of his back t-shirt is stretched tight over the expansive area.
“Good morning to you too, sunshine.” I greet with a smile.
The guys are already at a table. This time of the morning Black Penny is closed. It’s where we hold are meetings. Well, more like where our Archangel boss mostly shouts and swears before sending us out on some kind of fucked up suicide mission.
Blood shot eyes snap to mine.
“Someone got some dick recently, and don’t even try to deny it, I know that look on your face.”
“Smooth, Leo, real smooth.” Snatch grumbles back, digging his elbow into the other guy’s ribs.