The Nanny's Secret

by Kiersten Modglin

  I release John’s hand, standing from the floor cautiously, my joints stiff from sleeping in a sitting-up position on my knees. I walk across his room as I hear a hallway door open.

  “If anyone talks to the press, we fire them. Plain and simple. And you make sure the tapes handed over to the police are the ones okayed by my office—” He’s standing in the hall, the phone pressed to his ear, but he freezes when he sees me. “Hey, let me call you back.” He lowers his phone, blinking heavily. “Olivia…what are you doing here? I didn’t see your car outside.” His gaze darts to the door of his son’s bedroom as if he is worried I’d hurt John.

  “He had a nightmare,” I say, moving closer to him so I can keep my voice low. “They couldn’t get ahold of you, so Danny came to my apartment to get me.”

  His jaw drops for a moment, but he quickly recovers. “I’m so sorry.” He glances at his phone. “I had a work thing. I wasn’t gone more than two hours. I thought he’d be fine.”

  “It’s okay,” I say, stifling a yawn.

  “You’re exhausted,” he says. “Do you need a ride home…or would you like to sleep here for the night? We have extra bedrooms. You’re more than welcome to stay.” He gestures down the hall where Iris told me the guest rooms were before.

  “I’ll probably stay here if that’s okay,” I say.

  He smiles. “That’s more than okay.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Orrick

  I lead Olivia into the bedroom, watching her face as she sees it. The room is some of Iris’ best work, a handcrafted bed frame, a mattress that’s never been slept on, and linens imported from France. It’s small and beautiful, much like its new occupant.

  “The bathroom is here,” I say. “Iris keeps it stocked with towels and shampoos and…whatever else you could possibly need, I’m sure it’s there.” I’m trying to be gracious, but my mind is filled with images of Olivia in my shower, Olivia wrapped in my towels, Olivia in my bed…

  “Thank you,” she says, bringing me back to reality. “I really appreciate it.”

  “We appreciate you being here for John when he needed you. I’m just so sorry it was in the middle of the night,” I lie. If it hadn’t been, she wouldn’t be with me right now. No way am I sorry for that.

  “He’s a really good kid, Orrick. I would do anything for him.” The way my name sounds on her lips is intoxicating. I tap the wood of the door to distract myself, even slightly. Tension fills the air, and we’re both just standing in the middle of the bedroom, waiting for what comes next. Unfortunately, what I’d like to come next and what she would, are likely two very different things.

  I clear my throat, meeting her eyes again. “We’re lucky to have someone so dedicated.”

  “Speaking of dedicated, midnight office runs can’t be too fun,” she says, nodding her head toward the phone in my hands. “I hope everything’s okay.”

  I chuckle, resting my back against the wall as she leans against the bed, slowly growing comfortable. “Unfortunately, it’s par for the course when you’re in my position.”

  She squints. “What could possibly be so important it can’t wait for morning for the most powerful man in the company?”

  It’s almost a compliment, but she’s also fishing for information I can’t give her. “Security waits for no man,” I joke, trying to steer the conversation away from sensitive topics. She laughs, but it’s half-hearted at best, and I worry she’s going to dismiss me though I’m not finished talking to her. “Honestly, I rarely take calls at night, but this one was a pretty important client.”

  “What do you guys do, exactly? I mean, I know it’s security, but is that like…bodyguards and alarm systems?” she presses.

  “Yeah, all of that. We do alarm monitoring, we have private investigators on staff, we hire out security staff to work events, and then we have full-time clients who trust us to keep their companies and assets safe.”

  She pushes her lips out, sitting down on the edge of the bed, and I watch her hand graze across the inside of her thigh. “And you do all of that? I mean, you manage it all?” It’s the first time she’s seemed impressed with me, and I can’t help loving the awe in her voice.

  “It’s my company,” I tell her. “I run it and make the big decisions, but I have many employees…under me. They probably work harder than I do,” I pause, trying to seem modest. No one works harder than I do.

  “I don’t know about that,” she says, her voice low, like honey dripping from her lips. “I doubt many of them are taking middle-of-the-night emergency calls.”

  Our whole overnight crew, actually. I don’t say it, don’t disagree with her, because her words are so laser-focused on how amazing I am, and I want her to believe it.

  “Do you like it?” she asks, her hand still moving rhythmically across her thigh. I’m trying hard to keep my eyes from following it.

  I nod instantly, without thought. It’s the only option I ever saw. My only future since I was a little boy. “It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of.” Her smile seems sad then, and I wonder if I’ve done something wrong. “What about you? Have you always dreamed of working with children?”

  “I’ve always loved kids,” she says, “but I thought the ones I’d spend my life with would be my own.” She smiles again, still sad. “Being a nanny sort of fell into my lap, but it’s something I’ve grown to love much more than I thought was possible.”

  “And your own kids,” I swallow, afraid of the answer to my next question, “do you have any? Or…a boyfriend? Husband?”

  She shakes her head but looks away from me, and I know I’ve overstepped. “I lost my fiancé a few months ago. We didn’t have any children.” She’s not crying when she looks back at me, like I expect. Instead, her face is stony and expressionless.

  “Olivia, I’m so—I’m so sorry for your loss.” I take a step toward her, wanting to comfort her, but she’s stiff and unwelcoming.

  “Thank you,” she says after a moment.

  Silence hangs in the air, heavy and tension-filled, while I try to come up with something to say. I reach for the end of the bed, not touching her, but only inches from her leg. “I know it’s not the same thing, but…I lost my wife a long time ago.”

  She furrows her brow, her green eyes locked onto mine with sharp determination. “Your wife before Iris?”

  I shake my head. “No, I mean I lost Iris. Not physically, like you, but I lost her in every way that matters. Iris and I were married straight out of high school. We were in love, back then, and I would’ve done anything for her. But…things change. People change.”

  “You fell out of love?” she asks, though she doesn’t seem shocked. Maybe we aren’t as good at hiding it as I thought.

  I nod, and in a rare change of events, I’m telling her the absolute truth before I can stop myself. “It was slow. I can still remember what it felt like to love her, but it’s like a movie…I can recall it, but I can’t experience it like I did the first time. I still care for her. She’s the mother of my child. It’s just…it’s hard to explain. We’ve been married twenty-six years, probably as long as you’ve been alive, and we’ve been through so much together. For some people, I think it strengthens them, but for some…well, it doesn’t.”

  She’s watching me with a quiet contemplation. “Does Iris know?”

  I smile, but can’t force the laugh I should insert here to let her know I’m fine. “Iris is the one who made the decision. She moved on long before I realized.”

  “She cheated on you?”

  “Oh, yes,” I say. “A few different affairs that I know of. Maybe more. I stopped trying to catch her after a while.”

  Her eyes fill with sorrow, and I watch her lips downturn. “Orrick, I’m so sorry.”

  I shake my head, noticing the way she adjusts her body to face me even more. Maybe it worked. “You don’t have to be sorry, Olivia. My marriage is not your responsibility.” The downfall of it might be, though.

  “Have you ever…
had an affair?” she asks, and adrenaline spikes through my body. The question is insanely bold, and I can’t tell if she’s judging or…offering.

  I shake my head, my lips drawn back. “Can’t say that I have.”

  She looks skeptical. “That seems crazy to me. I can’t believe the women you work with haven’t made a few moves.” She wiggles her shoulders and her hands have gone back to moving up and down her thighs slowly, taunting me with each movement.

  “I’m—” I lift my eyes to meet hers. “I’m loyal to the women I care about, Olivia. I don’t sleep around for the fun of it. Though I won’t say I haven’t had the opportunity.” I rub a finger across my jaw.

  “Maybe you should try some just for the fun of it,” she whispers. “It might be just what you need.” Something deep inside me tightens with a swooping sensation at her words, my body suddenly on fire.

  Believe me, I’m trying. She’s flirting now, and I can’t help myself feeling pleased that she’s finally on the same page as I have been. This is the first time she might have entered the arena with me completely, ready to play. Is it just my imagination, or has her face moved closer to me? I can smell the sweet scent of her skin now, my body pulsing with electricity as I refrain from touching her. “Maybe I should.”

  Our gazes are locked together, our bodies just inches apart. I take another step forward, until her knee is pressed into my thigh, every inch of my body on fire from the slightest graze of her skin. She’s aware that we’re touching, and she hasn’t stopped me or shied away. Instead, she’s watching me, her chest rising and falling with the same anticipation I’m feeling. I lift my hand from my side slowly, moving it to touch her cheek.

  Her face is hot against my palm as I brush her hair away, wanting nothing in between us. Her eyes close as she leans into my touch. Her lips part.

  “Orrick, I—”

  “Mom! Dad!” A shriek comes from John’s bedroom, and I snap my hand back from her as quickly as she stands.

  “I should—”

  “No,” I interrupt her. “No, let me. You should get some sleep.”

  She nods, sinking back onto the bed as I walk away from her, my heart thudding so loudly in my chest I’m sure she can still hear it from the hallway.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Orrick

  TEN MONTHS AGO

  As I step out of the elevator, I hear Iris’ unexpected laughter. I can see straight into her office from where I stand. Tom, our assistant, jumps away from her, and she stops laughing as I stare through the glass walls. Instead of going to my office, I make my way down the narrow hall and shove her door open with one hand.

  “What’s going on?” I ask, tilting my head to the side, my hands balling into fists.

  Iris’ face is flushed, her hair messy. Tom looks guilty as ever, staring up at me with an indignant expression. One of the buttons of my wife’s shirt has popped open.

  “We were just going over some of the reports from last month,” Iris says, pointing to her computer screen. “You’re back from lunch early.”

  “The client bailed on lunch at the last minute.” I nod my head toward the bag of takeout in my hand. “I’m taking a working lunch here instead.” I look at her screen, which is in fact pulled up to our most recent revenue report. “Something funny on the report?”

  Tom steps toward me. “Mr. Locke, I—”

  “Tom, I’ll bet you have something you could be doing in your office, don’t you?” I snap.

  “Yes, sir.” He nods before slipping behind me and disappearing through the door and into his office, his face hidden behind the large monitor on his desk.

  “I need to see you in my office,” I demand, pointing a finger toward the glass door as Iris stands up, adjusting her shirt and running her hands through her hair.

  Together, we walk into the office, and I flip the switch near the window so the electric blinds lower over the glass walls, giving us privacy.

  “Orrick, it isn’t what you think…” she starts, her selfishness despicable. I want to throttle her.

  “It isn’t what I think?” I ask, faking a laugh. “You’re unbelievable, Iris. It looked an awful lot like you were about to fuck our assistant. So, please, tell me I’m wrong. I’d love to be wrong right now.”

  “You are wrong,” she says, but doesn’t bother to explain further.

  “I’ve looked past your numerous affairs, Iris—”

  “Oh, numerous is a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?” she demands, pacing the floor in front of me.

  “Sam, from security, Alex from installation, Derek from service…” I hold my fingers up as I count the men I know about. “Haven’t I given you everything you need? Haven’t I taken care of you?”

  “You take care of me, sure. You just don’t fuck me anymore,” she says, her voice too loud.

  “Can you blame me?” I curl my upper lip. “After all that you’ve done, I can barely stand to touch you, but together, we run this company. We have to present a united front. Everyone you’ve been with, we’ve had to fire, and that was fine, because they were low on the company ladder, easily replaceable. That’s not the case with Tom. You know the work I’ve put into him. You know what he means to me. I can’t just replace him like I’ve done all the others. Can’t you just…god, can’t you just keep it in your pants with one of our employees?”

  She rolls her eyes. “That’s rich, coming from you.”

  I spin around to face her so quickly I have to stop myself from launching into her. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She’s silent, because there’s nothing to say. “You can’t say anything because you know I’ve never had an affair. I’ve never cheated on you, Iris. I would be well within my rights to do so, but I haven’t. We both know that. And, even if I wanted to, even if I met a woman who didn’t repulse me with her constant need to please me, I wouldn’t dare do so with an employee. This company…you just married into it, but it’s my whole life. Everything. You know what I’ve done to get here, what my dad had to do. I wouldn’t risk my reputation—my family’s name—by doing something so stupid.”

  “Is love stupid?” she asks, her eyes glistening.

  I freeze, then scratch my jaw as I look her over. She can’t be serious. “Are you in love with him?”

  She folds her arms across her chest. “Not Tom, no, but…maybe some of the others. Maybe one.”

  “You can’t fall in love, Iris. That’s one thing I will not allow. We are the face of Locke Industries, and that can never be questioned. If you fall in love,” I step closer, my finger pointed in her face, “I will take everything you have. This company, your son, you won’t have anything. So, you’d better damn well make sure this guy is worth it to you, because he’ll be the only thing you have left in your life when I’m through with you. You know what I’m capable of.”

  She steps back, her face red, hands shaking. “I would never leave you, Orrick. You know that.”

  I nod. It’s the right answer, but there’s no real choice. She can’t. Our company needs a strong family behind it, and despite all we are not, Iris and I have the looks of a good, strong family. Looks mean everything.

  “Good.” I take a deep breath. “Get back to work…and, Iris—”

  “I know. I’ll leave Tom alone. I swear to you,” she vows, nodding her head.

  Before she walks out the door, she flips the switch so the blinds raise back up and I can see into Tom’s office. I watch him as he watches her. To my immense satisfaction, she never looks back his way.

  When he meets my eyes after a minute, there’s an apology there, but it only meets the stone of mine.

  After all I’ve done for him, to betray me in any capacity would mean the end of his career, if not the end of his life.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Olivia

  PRESENT DAY

  I wake up the next morning with a headache, and I know it’s because my sleep was so interrupted and conflicted. Even once I had lain down in the guest bedroom, everythi
ng felt wrong. It took me so long to fall asleep, and five thirty came way too early.

  I climb from my bed, showering quickly and washing up with the elegant, and likely expensive, soap waiting for me. The bottle is completely full, and I wonder how long it’s been since someone stayed in here. The shampoo is a brand I don’t recognize—then again, they probably don’t sell it at Target—and it smells of peaches. I rub it over my hair, then rinse, watching the suds gather around my feet. It’s nice here, safe and warm and beautiful. So much better than my apartment in every way but one. I haven’t been loved here. Haven’t been touched. Haven’t been held.

  After conditioning my hair, I step from the shower and wrap a towel around myself. Even their towels are amazing. It’s thick, soft, and luxurious, not stiff and ratty like the ones I own, with their loose strings and gaping holes.

  I rub a dry circle on the mirror so I can look at myself. I don’t have anything with me to get ready, so it won’t take long. I open the drawers under the sink, surprised and incredibly relieved to find it packed with unopened toothbrushes, toothpaste, a hairbrush, comb, and round brush that look completely new and unused, as well as lotion and a travel-sized, unused deodorant. Thank God for Iris.

  I open a lime green toothbrush and brush my teeth, then pull out a hair dryer and begin blow drying my hair. In the drawer with the hairbrush, there’s an orange bottle of keratin oil that I spritz into my palm and run over my hair. It’s the same brand as the shampoo I used and has the same peachy fragrance. When my hair is dry, I pull out the hairbrush and smooth it through my hair.

  I dry off the rest of the way, then toss my towel into the burlap laundry hamper behind me and throw away the toothbrush. I pull on the clothes I’d been wearing, regretting the fact that I didn’t think to pack anything clean.