by J. A. Kerr
Whenever Niven’s thoughts returned to the letter from her birth mother she would tense but somehow Matt seemed to sense this and distract her. He was quiet, undemanding, and being with him felt right. They settled on watching Forrest Gump and she laughed and cried her way through it. Matt sat close but didn’t attempt to touch her. Ironically, she found herself wishing he would.
She had noticed the beautiful card on his coffee table—a wedding invitation—and he noticed her looking.
“It’s from Benedict, you know…from the club?” said Matt.
“Yes,” said Niven simply, unsure what Matt knew or was involved in.
“My God, they’ve both been through so much,” said Matt, rubbing his hand distractedly through his hair.
“Yes,” Niven replied tentatively, making Matt look at her in surprise.
“Did you read their story in the papers?” said Matt, a look of disappointment in his face.
“Yes, I did, it was awful, and Siena must live with that trauma, which is never easy,” said Niven quietly.
Matt absorbed this information. “You know Siena?” said Matt incredulously.
“Yes, we were having coffee…and well, got talking.”
“I see…” he said, looking confused. “They are normally fiercely private…and never let people into their inner sanctum. I’m impressed, Niven. Making new friends was never high on their agenda,” he said, awe clear in his voice.
“I’m helping with the promotion of Harrison’s,” said Niven, hating to lie but unable to tell the truth.
“Oh,” said Matt, relieved.
“I met with them both and Siena and I had coffee afterwards. I liked her.”
Matt smiled. “You’re not free next Saturday afternoon, by chance…” His eyes were fixed on the invitation in front of him.
Niven felt her pulse race, she barely knew Matt. She should tell him she was working. It was a wedding, she wouldn’t know anyone, but found her mind and mouth at odds with one another. “Why, do you have something in mind?”
Matt handed her the exquisite invitation, and she read the details, heart hammering as she did.
“Just think about it, no pressure, Niven, really,” said Matt kindly.
Niven nodded, enjoying his warmth, and leaned in closer. She would think about it, but for now all she wanted was him.
***
Matt
Matt couldn’t believe he had just asked Niven to be his partner at a wedding. When he looked at her, warmth flooded his body. She was way out of his league but a guy can dream…right? God, he’d probably totally blown any chance he’d have with her, not that he had any, of course. She wouldn’t be interested in him; he wasn’t rich with a celebratory lifestyle. He was just an ordinary bloke, he thought glumly. Yet this stunning girl was sitting next to him on his couch, he must be doing something right. However, he couldn’t read Niven. Usually he could tell instantly if a girl liked him but with Niven he didn’t have a clue. She gave nothing away but the heat of her body, and he instinctively moved closer.
***
Niven
Niven sighed happily. She was enjoying being close to Matt, without touching. It always came back to that, but he was easy to be around, she felt comfortable—the old tensions slipping away. He turned to face her, smiling, and wiggled his body closer. He stared into her eyes with a shy admiration. Niven smiled back and closed her eyes. Memories of her Braille Club session came flooding back, and she reached out and touched Matt’s face.
A surge of desire at the feel of his skin had her heart racing. She traced her fingers around the contours of his forehead, eyes, and nose, their breathing the only sound in the room. When she brushed his lips, a soft moan came from her own mouth and everything inside her came alive. She realised with astonishment she wanted more—she wanted Matt. Bolder now, her finger slipped inside his mouth; it felt sexy and dangerous. Somewhere deep inside her, an ache made itself known, and still Matt hadn’t touched her. She moved until they were touching, that sensation alone making her head swim. She opened her eyes and stared into his soft brown ones and when she closed hers again, their lips met.
Heat spread through her as she seemed to fall into his softness; their lips barely touching. His arms, when they came around her, made her feel safe and secure. Their kiss deepened and new shockwaves erupted as she pressed herself closer.
Matt stroked her face, his touch light and tentative, making her sigh with pleasure before he wrapped his arms around her. He drew away and her eyes flew open.
“I don’t want to rush you, Niven,” he said awkwardly, somehow sensing her nervousness. “Stay if you want to, I’ve got a spare room, plus my breakfast is legendary.” He smiled.
Niven flushed, wondering how many girls he’d made breakfast for already, not recognising the emotion she was feeling—jealousy.
“So, this is a bit of habit?” She tried to sound light but her voice was strained.
“I’d like to say yes…but it’s only my sisters I’ve cooked for.” He laughed. “They’re both students and always hungry. They just turn up. I’m not a great cook but I do a mean breakfast. That’s why it’s legendary because it’s all they get. I’m a one trick pony.” He grinned. “I’ve no complaints but I’ve got to have tons of sausages, eggs, and bacon on standby.”
Niven felt something new, her heart melting, the ice finally disappearing to be replaced by warmth. “I’ll stay.” She smiled. “Well, how could I miss your breakfast after that build up?”
“Prepare to be blown away,” said Matt happily. He was smiling at her like an idiot, but something was happening here, something wonderful, and she had no control. He snuggled closer to Niven, pulling a throw from the side of the sofa and covering them both. It was getting late, and she saw Matt unconsciously yawn. Niven was a night owl by nature. The way her body and mind were reacting to Matt, sleep was the last thing on her mind.
***
Toby
Toby awoke cold, stiff, and angry from his doze in the car; a quick glance at Niven’s flat in darkness against the morning light did nothing to improve his mood. His mind churned as he reached for the knife he always kept under the front seat and immediately felt better. It had a wooden handle and a long thin blade. Thoughts of Niven with someone else made him grip the knife and plunge it repeatedly into the seat beside him. He saw her in his mind, smiling, her head turning…the whore…that smile wasn’t for him. It was for another guy. Toby had not seen his face but he would find him—surveillance was his speciality. He’d take care of him and Niven. Have fun with her first, though. He’d called Mr. Tyler, he'd decided not to wait. Leaving Niven’s flat earlier, they’d met up and the rent had been paid for six months, might as well get his money’s worth.
He saw the long brunette hair and without thinking, slipped out of the car, gripping the knife, his excitement building as he quickened his pace. Her hair was within touching distance, he could smell her perfume. He tightened his grip on the knife when a loud car horn made him jump and shrink back. The girl pivoted quickly and ran to the car that had stopped and got in. Toby was shaking, the girl in the car looked at him, frowning, before it passed him. It was only then that he realised it wasn’t Niven.
Chapter 50
The Braille Club, London, One Year On: Members arrive excited and curious but strangely silent. The masks had been delivered to every member to confirm attendance. They must arrive with them on and were under strict instructions. Anyone taking off their masks will be removed immediately; and their membership terminated. It was not an idle threat.
Benedict
Benedict was disappointed the wedding arrangements took so long to finalise, but resigned himself to the delay. Siena’s engagement ring arrived, and he’d slipped it on her finger when the twins were asleep. He hoped to do this over an intimate dinner but could see she was exhausted. Instead he arranged for food to be delivered to their home; it had been wonderful…Siena cried when she rubbed her finger over the braille inscription on the ring. Tha
t night their lovemaking had never been so tender.
Now after several delays, things were finally falling into place. Alexander would be his best man and Siena asked Ellie to be her bridesmaid. She was fantastic with the twins and they’d grown even closer since their birth. The complete ceremony would be held at the Savoy, although he had not been involved in that side of things. Siena had assured him that everything was under control. All that was left was to write his vows. Never good with words, he kept them simple.
Siena, in the dark you were my light.
When I was blind you made me see.
In you I have found love.
In you I have found me.
Your touch is my salvation.
Your love has set me free.
The wedding invitations had been sent, the heavy handmade card only going to a select few.
***
Guy
Guy was one of those recipients and it was both an honour and a dilemma. Should he ask Anna? Should he go alone? Time was running out and he must inform them of his decision soon. He could sense Anna’s coolness towards his employers. Was she jealous? The idea thrilled him although the thought was ridiculous. Siena was completely off limits and always would be. She was beautiful, but only had eyes for Benedict. In the early days Guy found himself looking forward to their meetings. She was easy to be around and if he was honest, he was lonely. Anna had re-entered his life just at the right moment—captivating him. His breath quickened as thoughts of Siena and Anna filled his mind…both forbidden fruit. Heat suffused his face. He had Anna, and she was more than enough for any man. Locking his emotions for Siena away, he knew danger when he saw it.
***
Siena
Siena lay thinking after a bad night with the twins, her mind on her upcoming marriage. Her wedding gown was a classic strapless column dress, elegant and timeless. The long veil floated against her shoulders, a simple string of pearls with matching earrings her only jewellery. She wore her hair loose and as she gazed at her reflection, her smile faltered. Memories of Nick and their wedding assailed her, and inevitably her guilt resurfaced. They had been happy for a while…but had it all been fake? Was it even real? Had her feelings for him been built on manipulation and lies? She’d known nothing of his first marriage and the discovery had shocked her. However, it helped now. Siena thought her betrayal had pushed him over the edge but this was not the case. His ex-wife’s testimony revealed he had always been dangerous. She’d been so young and vulnerable. Her parents had tried to warn her. How had she missed the signs? Why had she married a monster? Doubts crowded her and she closed her eyes. When she opened them her face was set. Older and wiser, he no longer controlled her. She was a survivor and for the first time her future was in her own hands. Her finger moved to caress the braille inscription that melted her heart.
Only your touch leaves a memory.
She loved Benedict. He and their children were her future. Nick was her past. Her shoulders dropped and her smile returned. Like any bride-to-be, she was nervous but radiant. She dozed off but awoke to the cries of the twins and rolled over, exhausted; she had only just fallen asleep. She could feel the depression but was too tired to fight it. She lay hoping they would fall back over and give her some more sleep, sleep she desperately needed. They had been teething, and she hadn’t slept for days when they’d both gotten sick at the same time.
Disappointed, she had no choice but to cancel her planned trip with her parents. Resigned, she told them to go ahead without her. They were on a well-deserved vacation and she missed them keenly. She would have joined them today if the twins were better, but they were still under the weather.
Lizzie, their nanny, was great with the twins; she worked three days a week. However, Siena was an anxious mom and preferred to work from home, only going into Harrison’s when she had no choice. She realised organising lunch with Niven on Lizzie’s day off was probably not the brightest idea she’d ever had. When she picked the date she hadn’t checked, and now it was too late to cancel. Her spirits lifted, she really liked Niven. They had become friends and Siena enjoyed her company. She hoped to get the twins down for their nap so they could enjoy their food and catch up in peace.
Benedict had helped over the last two days but he had important meetings scheduled, and she had told him to go. Balancing the business and her home life had been problematic, and she often felt isolated and alone. A reoccurrence of her nightmares over the last few weeks was keeping her awake and taking its toll. Tired and edgy, some days she felt like a prisoner as she looked at the security cameras. Their new home would be finished soon, and she hoped it would give her more peace of mind.
The heightened cries of the twins meant she could ignore them no longer, and she sluggishly pulled herself out of bed. Her mom told her every new parent had down periods. Children were demanding, and with two, she was more at risk. She wanted to cry, pull the duvet over her head, and switch off her brain, but instead she stood and made her way to the nursery.
Every mother could tell the difference between real tears and attention tears and as soon as she opened the door, the twins’ smiling faces greeted her. They stood in their cots, arms lifted as she picked first Leo and then his sister out and placed them on the floor. They immediately crawled over to the stack of toys in the corner, babbling happily. Siena selected clothes before she picked up each twin in turn and changed their diapers. The smiles didn’t last long and they soon became grizzly. She put off changing them out of their romper suits until after they had eaten breakfast.
Feeding them was itself a challenge. Still off their food, they spat out most of the cereal she tried to feed them. Benedict was meeting the builder today at their new home to check everything was in order. If it was, they would move at the end of the month when their lease expired. She called the new house Knox because of all the security but realised the reason she was fretting was due to constantly feeling scared and anxious.
A foreboding had troubled her these last few weeks that she couldn’t shake off. Unable to talk to Benedict because he might suggest a shrink again, she bottled it up inside and put it down to anxiety. Giving up trying to feed the twins, she placed them in the large playpen while she retrieved her coffee. She’d drink it and then change both herself and the twins as time had a habit of escaping her in the mornings. She didn’t want Niven to arrive and still be in her pj’s, a real possibility if she didn’t get a move on.
An hour later she and the twins were changed. They were playing on a small slide; they had one each but constantly fought over the yellow slide. Reeva had just pushed her brother down and was happily climbing the steps when an outraged Leo grabbed her leg and sunk his teeth into it. She yelped in pain, fell off the steps, and let out a piercing scream. Siena rushed over, picking Reeva up and checking her leg, which was red but the skin hadn’t broken. She scolded Leo, who immediately burst into tears, and Siena sagged, not having the strength today. She closed her eyes. Gradually the twins stopped crying and crawled towards their mother to cuddle into her. Siena smiled through her exhaustion, cuddling them back; they were tired. It was time for their nap.
A car door closed in the distance and she heard footsteps. The doorbell rang. Putting both twins in their play crib, she opened the door to a glowing Niven. Sienna ushered her in quickly, she could hear the twins grizzling, and headed back to the kitchen. Niven rushed over to them and climbed inside the play pen, much to the twins’ delight.
Siena stared at Niven. She looked the same, yet somehow changed.
“What?” Niven grinned.
“You look…different or seem different…” Siena trailed off, not sure what she meant.
Niven took a deep breath. “I’ve met someone.”
“Wonderful!” Siena beamed. “Anyone I know?” she joked.
“Well actually, it’s Matt Patterson.”
“Our Matt?” said Siena incredulously.
“Yes…oh Siena, he’s so lovely, and kind, and handsome,”
said Niven dreamily.
“Okay, I want to know everything. It’s nap time for the twins shortly, so we can get peace to talk then…” Siena stopped talking, distracted by a sound from the hallway.
“Hold on a minute.” She frowned and slipped from the room where the rattle was louder. The front door key was moving. She sprinted to the door just in time to catch the key as it fell, her heart beating wildly as she stared at the figure in the black ski mask. Fear tore through her and she slapped the top bolt across the door as she heard the lock click. She rushed to throw on the bottom bolt. The thud of a boot connecting with the wooden door made her scream and turn away. She raced into the playroom and almost fainted when she saw the masked man arrive with an axe in his hand through the window.
“Run,” she screamed at Niven.
She followed Siena’s gaze and froze.
“Niven! Give me the twins.” Siena’s panic-stricken voice filled the room as the axe connected with the glass. They both jumped and screamed in terror. The twins began to cry. Niven suddenly responded. She pivoted, lifting Leo and then Reeva into Siena’s shaking arms, self-preservation overcoming her shock. She stumbled as she got out of the playpen and fell.
“Hurry, Niven,” Siena screamed.
The noise of the axe on the glass propelled Niven to her feet, but then she froze.
“Niven!” Siena screamed again as she headed for the stairs.
The sound of the axe on glass stopped. Siena paused on the stairs, momentary relieved. She glanced back. Where was Niven? She dithered—then she heard the unmistakable sound of shattering glass. Pure adrenaline pumped through her. She tore up the remaining stairs but was slow with the twins in her arms. Heart thumping, she gasped in fright as she heard the noise behind her—running footsteps. Terrified, she glanced back to see Niven, eyes wild, scrambling up the stairs behind her. Siena had to stop at the top. Lungs bursting from the fright and exertion, she sagged against the railing.