The Deadening

by Yvonne Heidt

  It was past closing time, so she switched the phone to the answering service, gathered the stack of messages together, and headed upstairs. Tiffany had already left for the day, and Shade had never come back.

  Raven walked cautiously through Shade’s door, a little apprehensive, but really hoping Shade would be waiting for her.

  The office was empty, as she knew it would be.

  Raven stroked the end of Shade’s desk absently. It smelled like her, the CK One had left a permanent imprint in the fabrics of the room. The scent stirred a physical reaction, but it also tweaked her embarrassment. Raven had to go find Shade and hope she would forgive her. Like her sister had, she needed to come clean.

  She turned the lights off on her way out.

  Raven did a drive-by, the one she swore she would never do, of Shade’s house. Her van was in the driveway. Raven turned her car around at the next intersection, pulled to the curb, and prayed for strength and clarity. She actually knew a spell for that—but there was no way she was going to try it right now.

  The door opened before she reached it. Shade stood backlit from the hall light. The longing in her soul tripled, and then doubled back again, twisting inside her painfully.

  Shade simply stepped aside to let her in. Raven brushed against her, and the contact sent tingles along the right side of her body.

  She stopped. The house was clean, and surfaces sparkled. She felt her mouth drop open. Shade put a hand to the small of her back to prompt her forward into the living room.

  “Wow.”

  “I know, right? It seems you woke a sleeping giant.” Shade wrapped an arm around her hip and walked her into the living room.

  In more ways than one. She had to tell her right now, before something happened. “I have to tell you something.”

  “Tell me back here,” Shade said.

  Raven wanted Shade, but not like this.

  She twisted to the side and stepped away from her. “I said I have to tell you something.”

  Shade grinned and threw herself down on her recliner. “So talk.”

  Raven sat on the arm of the chair. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

  Shade’s half smirk kicked Raven’s senses into overdrive. Oh God, she knew already. Raven was so embarrassed. “Why did you jump me if you knew?”

  “Lessons, young grasshopper. Be careful what you wish for.” Shade’s voice was slurring slightly. Raven wondered how much she’d had to drink before she arrived.

  She felt like a fool, and when she felt stupid, she got angry. “You attacked me and laid hands on me knowing what I did? Do you think I’m a joke?”

  “Turnaround is fair play. Don’t do your mojo shit on me, Raven.”

  Red temper spots appeared in Raven’s vision. “But—”

  “I’m not going to play games with you.”

  “How could you?” Raven sputtered before cussing her out in Spanish while she stalked around the room and pointed at her, then colorfully swore at her some more in an effort to wipe the stupid smile off Shade’s face.

  “What? What are you saying?”

  Raven switched back to English. “I can’t believe how cruel you can be.”

  “Wait a minute, let me break this down for you, sweetheart—you cast a spell on me, which I recognized. I do exactly what you wanted me to do—and I’m the bad guy? How screwed up is that? If you want to fuck again, Raven, you could have just asked, and got in line.”

  Ouch, that hurt. Raven lowered her voice. “You were lucky to have me. I’ve seen the trash you’ve slept with.”

  “Yeah? Well, you slept with me.”

  Raven gathered her power. She was going to hit her with something, anything that would match the way Shade’s horrible words had just cut her.

  Before Raven let her energy loose, Shade’s power came out to meet hers, spiking the ozone in the room, leaving a faint trail of red lightning discernible in the air.

  Her temper was beyond the flashpoint, but Raven made a huge effort to pull back because she knew she wasn’t nearly strong enough to win this fight.

  “That all you got, kid? Because I have a dinner date with someone else.”

  “I hate you.” Raven picked up her purse and left.

  Chapter Four

  Ten days later

  A sickly green glow lit the tunnel that stretched endlessly into the distance. The walls seemed to expand and contract with her labored breath. Shade had been trapped and lost in the dark for an eternity. She wasn’t alone, of course. She was never alone. The dead screeched and moaned, reaching for her with bloody hands as she ran.

  They were the least of her problems. Other things lurked in the shadows as well. She could hear them, slithering and hissing in the background. Maniacal laughter echoed off the walls, always keeping her off balance, her nerves on fire.

  She was exhausted, and though she didn’t want to admit it, terrified of what was happening. Time kept twisting around itself as she struggled to grasp reality. She knew who she was, but couldn’t remember anything of her life or anyone in it.

  When she couldn’t run anymore, she slid down the slimy wall to sit on the spongy floor. The feeble light went out, and the dark settled in around her, forced itself into her pores, suffocating her.

  Where the fuck was she?

  She was everywhere, yet nowhere.

  The deafening rhythmic pounding was driving her crazy, and she held her hands over her ears. The thumping continued and increased in volume until she wanted to scream, but she was afraid if she started, she would never, ever stop.

  Her sweat-soaked hair stuck to her neck, and the muscles in her legs cramped from running. As soon as she closed her eyes, a hand gripped her neck from behind and squeezed.

  *

  Raven was sitting in the chair next to the bed and startled when she thought she heard a loud exhale in the corner, though she couldn’t see anything. She searched Shade’s face for any signs of awareness, but found none. The monitors continued their beeping, reminding her that if there had been any changes, the intricate machines would have picked them up.

  She dismissed the noise and smoothed Shade’s dark hair back, running her fingers through the uneven lengths. If it weren’t for the purple bruising under her eyes, Shade would look almost peaceful, a direct contrast to the tough image she presented to the world at large.

  The jagged wounds and bruises from the bombing had mostly healed, thanks to Aura’s and Tiffany’s sessions. But it remained to be seen if her fractured spine would ever heal enough to allow her to walk again. Raven refused to consider any outcome that wasn’t for Shade’s greatest possible recovery.

  Raven traced the contours of Shade’s face lightly with her fingertips, silently begging her to wake up. She smoothed the covers around her legs, as she’d done at least sixteen times that night.

  Her hands saw what was hidden from her eyes. Shade had lost weight, and the hard muscles in her thighs were already weakening from her forced inactivity.

  The door opened, and Mary, the night nurse, walked over to the bed, her soft-soled shoes gliding noiselessly on the linoleum floor. “Still here? Visiting hours were over hours ago.” Mary winked at her.

  The nurses were well aware she spent every night here with Shade, but she usually wasn’t awake when Mary came in during the wee hours. “I don’t ever want her to be alone.”

  Mary looked at her thoughtfully. “I’ve always believed that some part of the patient’s consciousness can hear us.”

  “Yes,” Raven said, stroking the back of Shade’s hand. “I believe she knows I’m here.”

  “I don’t think she’s been alone since she got here.” Mary scribbled in Shade’s chart.

  “No. And she won’t be either.”

  Mary smiled. “How long have you two been together?”

  “Not long.” For the thousandth time since Shade’s accident, Raven wished she could take back her words. I hate you. It broke her heart to think those words could be the last thing she ev
er said to Shade, even if she had deserved it at the time.

  I love you. Please come back. I didn’t mean it.

  Raven had gone over that fight over and over. If she hadn’t been embarrassed and flustered, she’d have known Shade hadn’t meant the horrible things she’d said either.

  Shade had been trying to protect Raven—from Shade.

  During the long days and nights that Shade had been hospitalized, Tiffany often sat with Raven. She was a good listener. Though she was reluctant at first, she agreed that when Shade showed her fangs, the behavior came from her absolute fear of commitment.

  The time they spent together watching over Shade was in close quarters, which meant there wasn’t any hiding from Tiffany’s mind reading abilities. Raven didn’t mind much, as she was grateful she finally had someone to talk to about Shade’s side of things, someone to give her insight and hope.

  More than anything, she wanted a spell to wake her up, but her mother, Sunny, and Aura expressly forbid her to use any. Raven burned to defy that order, but promised she wouldn’t after she was told that Shade could bring something bad back with her from the other side.

  No one wanted to take the chance that Shade’s consciousness would remain in the dark, possibly leaving her body and mind open to possession. The only person who knew if it could happen was Shade, and they couldn’t ask her.

  “In any case,” Mary said, “I’m sure that when she wakes up, she’ll be glad to know how many people love her.”

  Raven sighed. “I hope it’s soon.”

  “Well, then.” Mary rechecked the IV line. “Good night. The morning shift change is in an hour and a half or so. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “See you.” Raven waved halfheartedly while she settled back into the armchair next to the bed. She’d already been up for twenty three hours, the charm she’d done on herself was wearing off, and she was too tired to replenish it. Magic required energy, and it was the one commodity she had too little of right now.

  She let herself drift off to the interminable beeping of the machines around her.

  *

  Shade frantically tried to pry the icy hand off her neck, but it was too slippery. She was dangerously close to losing her grip, and the phantom fingers dug deeper into her esophagus. She felt her eyes bulge from the pressure, and her vision began to dim.

  She wasn’t going, not without a fight. In a last-ditch effort, she gathered what little strength she had left, forced her screaming muscles to work, and gained her feet. With a sharp twist of her torso, she tore free. The air she gulped felt like fire in her lungs.

  The faint whispers in the dark became louder, and she tried not to pay attention because they were meant to be a distraction, to scare her. If she could get a grip on what was happening, she could find a way out of this nightmare.

  No way out.

  No, no.

  Not for you.

  The giggle that followed the creepy voice chilled Shade to the bone. “What the fuck is going on?” she yelled. “Show yourself.”

  Heavy footsteps pounded toward her from behind. They grew louder, until the vibration of them caused loose rocks to tumble from the curved sides of the tunnel to settle around her feet. Shade’s gut clenched.

  She knew she didn’t have the energy in her current condition to fight whatever was approaching. She took another ragged breath before she turned and fled in the opposite direction.

  Into the blackness.

  Her legs were too tired to run in a straight line, and she continued to stumble and bounce off the walls. She strained to see but remained blind.

  The dark was complete, final.

  There was a flash up ahead. A small weak light in the distance flickered on and off twice before growing marginally brighter until it was constant.

  With something to focus on, Shade forced herself to keep moving. The jarring footsteps were gone, but she wasn’t going to look back or take any chances. She would keep going until she dropped from the effort.

  She ran for what seemed like hours, but the light never grew bigger, it stubbornly stayed the same size. She’d briefly lived in Arizona once, and the mountains produced the same illusion. They appeared to be close enough to reach in a day, but in actuality, the peaks were miles farther than she ever thought.

  As soon as she thought about the desert sands, the ground beneath her shifted. Deep drifts appeared, slowing her stride, until she fell forward. Shade managed to get her hands in front of her, but she still ended up with a mouth full of granules. She tried to get up again, but her muscles refused to obey.

  In the distance, she could hear the thunder of approaching footsteps again.

  She couldn’t run anymore, but she’d fight on her back if she had to.

  God, she was so thirsty. She would give anything for something to drink.

  The sand vanished from underneath her, and she dropped into icy water. The cold temperature forced what little breath she had left from her lungs. She searched for the surface, but she dropped like a stone into the inky depths.

  Her limbs jerked and convulsed, as she fought for oxygen. Though she knew to take a breath was to die, reflex took over, and she inhaled deeply, gulping liquid in a frantic attempt to breathe. The water burned as it traveled down her throat, into her lungs to suffocate her.

  Her terror lifted as she stopped struggling and allowed the water to take her.

  Dying wasn’t so bad, she thought. She felt weightless and completely without pain. She was so damn tired of fighting.

  A sense of peace and well-being filled her, and wonderful emotions replaced her doubt and fear with warmth. If she’d known it felt this good, she’d have died a long time ago.

  She opened her arms and let go.

  *

  Raven stood at the edge of a high cliff. The large canyon below her spread out like a gargantuan red blanket. Her hair lifted in the wind, and she spread her arms wide to the setting sun. Vivid hues of fire burned across the sky in its wake, painting the sky with dark red, yellow, and purple. The perfect beauty of it ached in her chest, and she gave thanks to the wonders of Mother Earth.

  Her foot slipped from underneath her, sending rocks, then boulders, tumbling down the mountainside. She windmilled her arms to catch her balance, but the edge crumbled, and she fell. It happened so fast, the scream in her throat never materialized. Raven smashed against the rock face, bounced off it, and continued her descent.

  Trees and brush went by in a blur as she frantically tried to grab something to stop her fall. Faster and faster she slid, until she hit the end of a ledge and bounced out into nothing but air.

  Rising up to meet her was a rushing river, and she knew that to hit it at this velocity would be like hitting cement. She braced herself for the impact.

  Don’t panic. It’s a dream, only a dream. Take control.

  Raven slowed her fall and slid into the river effortlessly.

  She tread water while the current took her over the rapids and into a deep pool. She used a powerful sidestroke to reach the bank and then pulled herself out to catch her breath.

  The large rock she sat on had been worn smooth from the river, and Raven watched the full moon rise slowly, until the area was lit by its glow. She could see a small clearing of grass on the other side of the river, framed by tall trees.

  The night air felt alive with the song of crickets and the rushing river. She watched a small fallen log float downstream until it was almost parallel to her. It twisted in the eddy, and Raven saw a flash of pale skin.

  It wasn’t a tree; it was a person. Without hesitation, she threw herself back into the water. She cut through the current until she reached the body. Her heart thumped in her chest. She couldn’t make out her features, but Raven would know that Led Zeppelin T-shirt anywhere.

  Shade.

  Raven’s adrenaline powered her into action. She pushed Shade’s limp body to the opposite side of the bank, until she had her footing and was able to pull her out of the water. She dro
pped to her knees beside her and checked her pulse.

  Nothing.

  Shades skin was icy cold, and in the glow from the moon, her lips were a dark purple. Raven began CPR, drawing deep breaths to fill Shade’s lungs with life. She carefully counted the chest compressions before repeating the process.

  Once, twice, three times.

  Again.

  Raven refused to give up. With this breath, I give to thee, life to live, and part of me. Eyes shall open, heart shall beat, as I will it, so shall it be.

  When there was no response, tears fell and she started the process from the beginning. It didn’t matter that this was a dream. If Shade believed she was dying here, in this place, she would die in both worlds.

  *

  One second, she was peaceful, floating, happy, and the next, her nose was being pinched and she couldn’t breathe again. Shade struck out blindly but stopped when she heard a cry. She tried to open her eyes, but instead turned and leaned on her side while water came up from her stomach in streams, nearly choking her again while someone pounded on her back.

  She was confused. Her brain felt fuzzy. She couldn’t remember where she was or who else was here.

  She sensed echoes of the fear she’d held while being chased, but it felt as if it were eons ago. The coughing fit finally ended, and she dropped onto her stomach.

  A soothing, trilling noise sounded from her right.

  It took enormous effort, but Shade finally opened her eyes and saw a giant black bird hovering over her. The sound of beating wings thundered in her ears. The bird cawed, raising the hair on her neck.

  Shade tried to talk but couldn’t manage any sound and couldn’t move.

  Panic crowded her consciousness, accelerating her pulse, closing her throat. A loud growl erupted from the trees near the side of the clearing.

  It was too much for her to process, and she let herself slip back into the darkness.

  Again.

  *