by Thomas King
Oh, says Coyote, I have everything. You want a sewing machine? How about a set of dresser drawers? I have a bunch of radios. Cameras? A refrigerator? Blankets? Tea kettles? A wheelbarrow? A house. Maybe you need an easy chair. I got lots of bicycles. Maybe you need a new car. Maybe you need a fishing boat.
A fishing boat? You have a fishing boat for sale?
Ho, ho, says Coyote, I have more than one. How many would you like?
How many do you have? I says.
Eighteen hundred and four, says Coyote.
That’s a lot of fishing boats, I says.
It’s a hard job, says Coyote. But someone has to be paid to do it. Maybe you need a pretty good kimono.
No, I says, I don’t need a pretty good kimono.
Come on, says Coyote. Let’s go see the Enemy Alien Property.
So I go with Coyote. But we don’t go in that pretty good truck says “Kogawa Seafood” on the door because Coyote has sold it. But that coyote has another pretty good truck says “Okada General Store” on the door.
You sure have a lot of pretty good trucks, I says.
Oh, yes, says Coyote, I am an excellent Custodian of Enemy Alien Property.
So Coyote starts driving. He drives to those mountains. And that one drives into those valleys. And then he drives to that Pacific National Exhibition in that Vancouver city.
I am lost, I tell Coyote. Where are we now?
Hastings Park, says Coyote.
That Hastings Park is a big place. Big buildings. Big signs. That big sign says “Livestock Building.”
Livestock? All right. So I ask Coyote, you got any Enemy Alien Horses? That’s what I ask. You got any Enemy Alien Horses? I could use a good Enemy Alien Horse.
That Coyote checks that list of Enemy Alien Property. That one checks it again. No, he says, there are no Enemy Alien Horses.
Enemy Alien Cows? I ask Coyote.
No, says Coyote, no Enemy Alien Cows.
Chickens?
No.
Sheep?
No.
Holy, that’s all the livestock I can remember. So I ask that Coyote, what do you keep in that Livestock Building?
Enemy Aliens, says Coyote. That’s where we keep the Enemy Aliens.
Boy, that Coyote likes to tell stories. Sometimes he tells stories that smell bad. Sometimes he tells stories that have been stretched. Sometimes he tells stories that bite your toes. Coyote stories.
That’s one good Coyote story, I tell Coyote. Enemy Aliens in a Livestock Building.
No, no, says Coyote. This story is not a good Coyote story. This story is a good Canadian story.
Canadian story. Coyote story. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. All those words begin with C.
Callous, carnage, catastrophe, chicanery.
Boy, I got to take a breath. There, that’s better.
Cold-blooded, complicit, concoct, condemn.
No, we’re not done yet.
Condescend, confabulate, confiscate, conflate, connive.
No, not yet.
Conspire, convolute, crazy, crooked, cruel, crush.
Holy, I almost forgot cupidity.
No, no, says Coyote. Those words are the wrong words. The word you’re looking for is legal.
Boy, you’re right, I tell Coyote. That legal is a good word. You can do a lot with that one. That’s one of those magic words. White magic. Legal. Lots of other White magic words.
Patriotic, Good, Private, Freedom, Dignity, Efficient, Profitable, Truth, Security, National, Integrity, Public, Prosperity, Justice, Property.
Sometimes you can put two magic words together. National Security, Public Good, Private Property.
Stop, stop, says Coyote. All these words are giving me a headache. We only need one word for Enemy Aliens. And that one word is legal.
So Coyote takes me into the Livestock Building and that one shows me the Enemy Aliens.
Boy, I says, you caught a big bunch of them.
You bet, says Coyote.
But what is that smell? I ask Coyote.
Pigs and cows and horses, says Coyote. We had to move the pigs and cows and horses out so we could move the Enemy Aliens in.
That is certainly a strong smell, I says.
It certainly is, says Coyote. We better leave before we get sick.
Maybe the Enemy Aliens would like to leave, too, I tell Coyote. So they don’t get sick from the pigs and cows and horses used to live here.
Enemy Aliens don’t mind that smell, says Coyote. They’re not like you and me.
They look like you and me, I says.
Oh, no, says Coyote, you are mistaken. They look like Enemy Aliens.
So that Coyote shows me all those sights. That one shows me that big building with all that glass. And that one shows me that other big building with all that glass. And then that one shows me that other big building with all that glass.
Boy, I tell Coyote, that’s a lot of big building with glass.
You want to see another big building with glass? says Coyote.
No, I says, that’s enough big buildings with glass for me.
Okay, says Coyote, let’s go see that Enemy Alien Property. Maybe we can find you some silverware.
So that Coyote shows me that Enemy Alien Property.
Holy, I tell Coyote. It looks like you confiscated everything.
Yes, says Coyote. The Whitemen have given me a commendation that I can hang on my wall.
Boy, there’s another one of those words begins with C.
See anything you like? says Coyote. I can give you a really good deal on family heirlooms.
But just as Coyote is showing me those good deals on those family heirlooms, he gets that phone call. This is before they got those phones you can walk around the house with and this is before those phones you can carry in your pocket. Call any place you like for thirty cents a minute, plus those roaming charges. This is the time when those phones are nailed on those walls, when those real women place that call for you, when you have to stand right next to them.
No, not the real women.
So that Coyote stands next to that phone and that one nods his head and that one smiles and that one makes happy noises.
Good news, says that Coyote. The Whitemen have given me another job.
Boy, I says, you are one busy Coyote.
Yes, says Coyote, and I have a new slogan. You want to hear it?
You want to hear Coyote’s new slogan? No, I don’t want to hear it either. But if we say, no, we may hurt Coyote’s feelings and that one is going to cry and make a lot of noise and keep everyone awake. Yes, that one will keep the dogs awake, too.
So I tell Coyote, Okay, you tell us your new slogan.
Okay, says Coyote. Here it is. “Let our slogan be for British Columbia, ‘No Japs from the Rockies to the seas.’”
Ho! That your new slogan?
Ian Alistair Mackenzie, says Coyote. It’s Ian Alistair Mackenzie’s slogan.
He must be important, I tell Coyote. All Whitemen with three names are important.
He’s the Whiteman in charge of making up slogans, says Coyote. But that one is not a good poet. If he was a good poet, he would have said, “Let our slogan for British Columbia be, ‘No Japs from the Rockies to the sea.’”
Look at that, I says. Now that slogan rhymes.
Be, sea, says that slogan. Be, sea.
Oh, yes, says Coyote, all good slogans rhyme. You want to hear some of Ian Alistair Mackenzie’s other slogans?
Is that your new job? I says. Making those Ian Alistair Mackenzie slogans rhyme?
Oh no, says Coyote, my new job is to Disperse Enemy Aliens.
No, I don’t know what “disperse” means. Lots of those words begin with “dis.” Disdain, Disappear, Distress, Disaster, Disillusioned, Disappointed, Disingenuous, Distrust.
Disperse.
No, I don’t think we should ask Coyote. Okay, but don’t blame me if things get messed up.
Come on, say
s Coyote, we got to get those Enemy Aliens dispersed.
So Coyote gets all the Women Enemy Aliens and the Children Enemy Aliens out of that Livestock Building smells like horses and cows and sheep, and that one gets those Men Enemy Aliens with those targets painted on their backs from that other place, and that Coyote puts all the Enemy Aliens into the back of his pretty good truck that says “Okada General Store” on the door.
It’s pretty crowded, I can tell you that.
Okay, says the Coyote, let’s start dispersing.
So that Coyote drives that truck into the valley, and then that one drives that truck into those mountains, and then that one drives that truck onto those prairies, and that one doesn’t stop driving until he gets to my place.
My good place. My good place by the river.
Holy, I says, there is my good place.
Yes, says Coyote, this is a good place, all right. Maybe this is a good place to disperse the Enemy Aliens.
Sure, I says, we got lots of room.
So Coyote gets all of the Enemy Aliens out of the truck, and I call my friend Napioa and my friend Billy Frank. Ho, I tell my friends, we got guests.
Okay, my friend Napioa and my friend Billy Frank tell me. We’ll call the rest of the People. Maybe we’ll eat some food. Maybe we’ll drink some tea. Maybe we’ll sing a welcoming song.
A party? says Coyote. I love parties!
But you know what? Some of those Enemy Aliens look pretty sad. Some of those Enemy Aliens look pretty scared. And some of those Enemy Aliens with the targets on their backs look pretty angry.
Boy, I tell Coyote, those Enemy Aliens don’t look too happy.
And after everything I’ve done for them, says Coyote. And just as that Coyote says this, a big car comes along.
Ho, I says, that is one important-looking car.
Yes, I am, says that important-looking car.
Did you come for the Enemy Alien party? I ask that important-looking car.
No, says that important-looking car, I am looking for Coyote.
Did I get a promotion? says that Coyote. And that one polishes his teeth with his tongue.
Get in, says that important-looking car. We got some secret stuff to talk about.
So Coyote gets in that important-looking car, and I go find the food, and now some of the Enemy Aliens are feeling a little better.
You know, that Billy Frank tells me, this story about the Enemy Aliens have their property taken away by Coyote and the Whitemen and get moved from their homes to someplace else reminds me of another story.
Yes, I tell Billy Frank, me, too.
You remember how that story goes, says Billy Frank.
No, I says, but maybe we think about it, that story will come back.
So we eat some food, and we drink some tea, and Billy Frank and Napioa warm up that drum, and we have a couple of songs.
So pretty soon, that Coyote gets out of that important-looking car. And those RCMPs get out of that important-looking car. And those Politician guys get out of that important-looking car, singing “O Canada.” But they don’t sing so good.
Holy, says Billy Frank. We’re going to have to get more food.
Okay, says Coyote, all the Enemy Aliens back in the truck!
Let’s not be hasty, I tell Coyote. The party is just starting.
No time to party with Enemy Aliens, says Coyote. I got a new job.
Another job? Boy, that Coyote is one busy Coyote.
What is your new job? I ask Coyote.
I got to take the Enemy Aliens to their new homes, says Coyote.
They can stay here, I says. We got lots of room.
Oh no, says Coyote, that would be too dangerous. We got to take the Enemy Aliens who look sad and the Enemy Aliens who look scared to that Sugar Beet Farms. We going to give them jobs.
Okay, I says, working on the Sugar Beet Farms is pretty good money.
We’re not going to pay them, says Coyote. These Enemy Aliens have to work for free, so they can show us that they are loyal citizens.
Boy, I tell Billy Frank, those citizenship tests are tough.
What’s a citizen? says Billy Frank.
What about those Enemy Aliens with the targets painted on their backs, who look pretty angry?
Oh, says Coyote, those are the dangerous Enemy Aliens. Those dangerous Enemy Aliens are going to Angler, Ontario.
Holy, I says, those Enemy Aliens must be real dangerous to have to go to Ontario. Have any of the Enemy Aliens caused any troubles?
Not yet, says Coyote, but you can’t be too careful.
So that Coyote goes to the centre of the party and stands by the drum, and that one holds up his hands.
Okay, says Coyote, all the Enemy Aliens back in the truck.
Maybe they didn’t hear me, says Coyote. And this time he says it really loud. All the Enemy Aliens back in the truck!
But nobody gets back in the truck.
Okay, says Coyote, we going to have to do this the hard way. And Coyote and the RCMPs grab Billy Frank.
Enemy Alien, says that Coyote and those RCMPs.
Silly Coyote, I says, that’s not an Enemy Alien. That’s Billy Frank.
Are you sure? says Coyote. He certainly looks like an Enemy Alien.
I’m Billy Frank, says Billy Frank.
So that Coyote and the RCMPs grab another Enemy Alien.
No, I says, that’s not an Enemy Alien, either. That’s my friend Napioa.
Nonsense, says Coyote, I know an Enemy Alien when I see one, and Coyote and the RCMPs grab every one they see. Those Politicians stand behind that important looking car singing “O Canada” and waving flags.
Enemy Alien.
No, I says, that’s Leroy Jumping Bull’s cousin Cecil.
Enemy Alien.
No, I says, that’s Martha Redcrow. She’s married to Cecil Jumping Bull’s nephew, Wilfred.
I wouldn’t stand too close to this story if I were you. Coyote and the RCMPs might grab you. Yes, I’d sit in the corner where those ones can’t see you.
Enemy Alien.
No, I says, that’s Maurice Moses. He’s Leroy Jumping Bull’s grandson. Leroy’s daughter, Celeste, had twins.
Enemy Alien.
No, I says, that’s Arnold Standing Horse. He takes those tourists into those mountains to go hunting.
That silly Coyote even grabs me.
Hey, I says, let me go.
Oops, says Coyote, oops.
You got to stop grabbing everybody, I says.
But Coyote and the RCMPs don’t do that. And pretty soon that Coyote has that pretty good truck filled with Enemy Aliens, and that one has that pretty good truck filled with Indians.
I have more Enemy Aliens than when I started, says Coyote. I must be better than I thought.
You got to keep the Indians and the Enemy Aliens straight, I tell Coyote. Otherwise you’re going to mess up this story.
And just then the RCMPs grab that Coyote.
Enemy Alien.
No, no, says Coyote. I’m Coyote.
Enemy Alien, shout those RCMPs. O Canada, sings those politicians. And everybody drives off in that important-looking car and Coyote’s pretty good truck says “Okada General Store” on the door.
And I don’t see that Coyote again.
So that Coyote comes by my place. My good place by the river.
Yes, this is still the same story. Yes, that Coyote has been gone awhile, but now that one is coming back. Sure, I know where Coyote and the Indians and the Enemy Aliens go. No, they don’t go to Florida to play that golf, wrestle that alligator. No, they don’t go on that cruise to those islands, everybody sits in the sun and drinks out of big nuts. No, they don’t give those Enemy Aliens them back their Enemy Alien Property either.
Hello, says that Coyote. Maybe you have some tea. Maybe you have some food. Maybe you have a newspaper for me to read.
Sure, I says. Sit down. Where’s that pretty good truck says “Okada General Store” on the door?
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The Whitemen took my pretty good truck, says Coyote. And they took all my Enemy Alien Property. And they took all my Enemy Aliens.
Holy, I says, those Whitemen like to take everything.
Yes, says Coyote, that’s true. And that one drinks my tea. And that one eats my food. And that one reads my newspaper.
Hooray, says that Coyote. I have found another job.
Boy, I says, it is dangerous to read newspapers.
This job is better than the other one, says Coyote.
You going to round up more Enemy Aliens? I says.
No, says Coyote. I’m going to that New Mexico. I’m going to that Los Alamos place in New Mexico, help those Whitemen want to make the world safe for freedom.
Okay, I says, that sounds pretty good. That New Mexico is mostly that desert and those mountains. Nothing much in that Los Alamos place that Coyote can mess up.
Yes, now Coyote is gone. Yes, now those toes are safe. Yes, that’s the end of the story. Well, you should have asked Coyote that while he was here. Maybe if you hurry, you can catch him before he gets to that New Mexico.
No, I’m going to stay here. That Coyote will come back. That one always comes back. Somebody’s got to be here make sure he doesn’t do something foolish.
I can tell you that.
Haida Gwaii
He hit an eagle.
The phone rings. I wake up. An eagle, Steven says. Would you believe it? At Queen and Yonge. Making a right turn.
What time is it?
You’re Native, he whispers into the phone. Do something.
I squeeze the pillow against my breasts. There are no eagles in Toronto, I tell him. It’s a seagull, they don’t mind being hit.
A friend in Alberta once showed me an eagle hung on a fence, its head blown away by a farmer from Fort Macleod who feared the bird might want something he owned. Might swoop down and pick his pocket when his back was turned. Steal his truck. Sleep with his wife. Occupy his home.