by Rebecca Rode
She’d always thought running into Tanner again would dredge up all the negative feelings she’d harbored for years. She hadn’t expected the good feelings to still be so strong.
Cassidy dropped Tanner’s hand and pulled Lauren in for a hug, squeezing her tight. Lauren held on, her eyes stinging with tears. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d been hugged in the last four years. She’d had friends at college, even dated a few different guys, but she’d kept them all at arm’s length.
“You’re the last person I expected to see today,” Cassidy said, pulling back. “You look great. I like how you’ve lightened your hair. It looks good on you.”
“Thanks,” Lauren said.
“You’re wearing the hair clip,” Tanner said, his voice hoarse.
Lauren reached up, running her fingers over the gemstones self-consciously. “It’s always been my favorite.”
“I’m glad,” he said, the words so quiet they were almost a whisper.
This calm version of Tanner was seriously unnerving. Lauren cleared her throat, focusing again on Cassidy. “Congratulations on the engagement. I saw the announcement in the paper.”
Tanner grunted, tugging at his tie.
“Three months until the wedding,” Cassidy said, ignoring her brother. “We’re getting excited.”
“I’ll bet,” Lauren said.
“I’m sorry,” Tanner interrupted. “You still get the paper?”
Lauren gave a small nod. “I never wanted to sever ties completely.”
Tanner loosened his tie again, pain flickering across his face.
Cassidy looked back and forth between Lauren and Tanner, then cleared her throat. “So what brought you back to Sunset Plains, Lauren?”
“I heard about Mrs. Olson’s passing, and I came to pay my respects.” Lauren’s eyes welled with tears, and she quickly blinked them back, regret welling up like a swollen river. She shouldn’t have stayed away for so long. She shouldn’t have left in the first place. But how was she supposed to know then that the guilt of leaving would be every bit as painful as staying had been? “It seemed like the right thing to do.”
Tanner dropped his tie and folded his arms, mimicking her stance. “That’s what brought you back? I thought maybe you were here because it’s your home.”
The accusation struck like a bolt of lightning, burning from the outside in. His eyes, hooded and dark behind his glasses, dared her to argue.
“It was, until you ran me out,” Lauren said. Hot anger rose in her chest as the old emotions came flooding back.
Tanner’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious right now?”
“So, what have you been up to since high school?” Cassidy said, shooting her brother a glare.
This is not how Lauren had imagined their first meeting going. “I got a double degree in meteorology and communications. I’m a reporter for Tulsa One now. Human interest stories mostly.”
“Wow, that’s so close,” Cassidy said. “How long have you been back?”
“Only about a month,” Lauren said.
“And you’re barely making time for a visit home?” Tanner asked.
Lauren ignored him. “I’m hoping to move from human interest stories to a roving reporter position in a year or two so I can do on-the-ground coverage of storms.”
“That’s so cool,” Cassidy said. “You’d be great at that. I’m glad you stuck with meteorology. Mrs. Olson would be proud.”
Lauren blinked back the tears. Sure, she’d graduated college and found a great job completely on her own. But proud? She’d run from her problems instead of facing them.
She should’ve kept running. Coming back to Sunset Plains was a huge mistake. The memories from the funeral had surrounded her all night, and now Tanner was adding to the tightness in her chest.
“Tanner got a master’s in meteorology and is working on his PhD,” Cassidy said. “He just moved back to teach at the college.”
Lauren flicked her eyes to Tanner. “That’s great. You’ll make an excellent teacher.”
“I went to Texas A&M,” he said. “But it felt all wrong without you.”
Lauren’s chest constricted even further, and she struggled for air. What was his end game?
“So you still chase storms, huh?” Cassidy said. “I always thought you wanted to be a weather reporter, not a roving reporter.”
“Weather reporters stay in the studio,” Lauren said. “I’d rather cover storms from the ground.”
“Yeah, I remember you were really into that right before you left,” Cassidy said.
“Yeah,” Lauren agreed, glancing at Tanner. “I’ve spent the last four summers with storm chasers in Tornado Alley. I’ve gained some great experience from that.”
Tanner’s jaw clenched, and Lauren was catapulted back to the arguments that had escalated into explosive fights in those three weeks.
“I bet you have all sorts of exciting stories to tell,” Cassidy said.
“There are a few interesting ones,” Lauren said. “I have some awesome footage to show for it.”
“And a few battle scars too, probably,” Tanner said, his voice lined with razor blades.
Lauren couldn’t breathe, as if she were in the middle of a hurricane with gale-force winds. “I did it for school credit. It looks great on my resume.”
“I thought you would’ve been over that by now.”
“That’s not fair.” Lauren angrily batted away the tears forming in her eyes.
“You didn’t seem worried about fair when you disappeared without a word.”
“I left a note.”
“A cryptic one. I spent months wondering if you were alive or dead.”
Lauren folded her arms, unable to let the comments slide. “I was eighteen and had just lost my parents. You wouldn’t listen to anything I said.”
“You. Left. Me.”
And just like that, her defenses died. He was right. She closed her eyes, the pain washing over her. She’d taken all of their carefully laid plans and flushed them down the toilet.
But he hadn’t been willing to adjust them when the unthinkable happened and her parents died.
“Hey, here’s an idea,” Cassidy said, her voice falsely bright. “You should be a guest lecturer for Tanner’s class. Wouldn’t that be a great way to kick off the semester, Tan? It would get them excited about meteorology.”
Tanner continued to glare at Lauren, arms folded. “I’m sure Lauren’s very busy chasing her way to the roving reporter spot.”
Lauren opened her mouth to protest, but Cassidy cut her off.
“She won’t mind inspiring young minds. The students will love it, and it’ll make you a favorite teacher right from the start.”
“It’s unnecessary,” Tanner said.
Anger flared in Lauren. She knew she’d handled things poorly—had hurt Tanner deeply. But she’d been a child, and paralyzed by the tragedy life had dealt her. She hadn’t known how to handle the memories she encountered at every corner. Didn’t he understand that?
Of course not. Because she’d tried to voice her concerns numerous times, and he’d brushed her off.
“I’ll come,” Lauren said through gritted teeth.
“Great!” Cassidy said. “You were wondering what to do for your second class, and this is perfect, right, Tan?”
Tanner sighed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Whatever.”
“Where and when should I be there?” Lauren asked.
“Since Cassidy is so eager for this to happen, she can get you the information. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a truck to unpack.”
“But you haven’t even said goodbye to Mrs. Olson,” Cassidy said. “It’s nearly our turn.”
Tanner walked away without a word. As Lauren watched him disappear into the crowd, his shoulders straight and back rigid, she finally understood—at least a little—what it must’ve felt like to have someone walk away.
Chapter Four
TANNER DROPP
ED A BOX ON his living room floor with a thud. The last traces of moonlight poured in the large picture window to mingle with dust particles before disappearing into the artificial lighting overhead. His parents and Cassidy had dropped him off hours ago after failing to persuade him to spend the night at the ranch. They’d promised to return as soon as the morning chores were done to help him unpack. But Tanner hadn’t been able to sleep, especially with nothing but the camp cot he’d borrowed from his parents as a mattress, so at three a.m. he’d rolled out of bed and started moving boxes. Might as well get up and make sure he had the moving truck back on time.
He couldn’t believe Lauren was back in Oklahoma. Seeing her across the room had made tectonic plates collide in his heart until he couldn’t think clearly. How many nights had he laid awake, planning what he’d say to her if they ever saw each other again? He’d always imagined wrapping her in a tight hug, then apologizing for how he’d handled things after her parents’ passing. She’d been an eighteen-year-old orphan, and while leaving had devastated Tanner, he thought he finally understood why she’d done it.
What he didn’t understand—would never understand—is why, four years later, she was still chasing tornadoes. All warm and fuzzy feelings had left when she brought up storms, and every fight they’d had on the subject exploded in Tanner’s memory. He shouldn’t have treated Lauren the way he had last night, but he’d been seeing red.
Tanner ran a hand through his hair, breathing hard. He’d thought he was over Lauren. But he hadn’t acted like he was over her last night. She looked amazing—no surprise there. She’d matured from a girl to a woman over the last four years. It showed in the way her blouse hugged her body and in the business-professional cut of her skirt. Her eyes had a wisdom to them now that had been absent before, and she applied her makeup in a more subtle, mature way. Even her hair had looked good, a white-blonde instead of the dishwater color from high school.
He wasn’t sure he liked the way she made him go weak in the knees with only a glance, even after all these years. He’d moved on, and if last night was any indication, Lauren still had a lot of baggage she was clinging to. Tanner needed to apologize—both for last night and four years ago—and then put Lauren behind him once and for all.
“Knock-knock.”
Tanner straightened, swiping a hand across his sweaty brow. Cassidy stood in the doorway in ratty jeans and a paint-splattered tee, her braid hanging over one shoulder. He couldn’t believe she’d coerced him into further contact with Lauren. He didn’t need his little sister to help him with past relationship drama.
“You’re here early.” Tanner pulled out his cell phone. “It’s not even five o’clock.”
“Two years running the bakery has made it impossible to sleep in, even on my day off.” Cassidy held a hand to her mouth, covering a yawn. “Figured you’d be up already. Mama and Dad said they’ll be by in an hour or two, depending on how cooperative the cows are this morning. What can I help with?”
“Boxes should be labeled by room. Just start bringing them in from the truck.”
Cassidy nodded, and Tanner followed her back outside. They spent the next fifteen minutes working in companionable silence, carrying boxes inside while slowly uncovering the bigger pieces of furniture near the back of the truck.
“It’s nice to have you back,” Cassidy said. “I’ve missed you.”
Tanner pulled her in for a quick side hug. “I’ve missed you, too.”
“I can’t wait for you and Jase to get to know each other better. He’s such a great guy, and I think the two of you will really hit it off. I’ll have to take you out to his ranch when he gets back. The new house is almost finished, and it’s real nice.”
Tanner grabbed his water bottle from where it sat in the back of the moving truck and took a long swig. “Why did you do it, Cass?”
She blinked up at him, her blue eyes wide and innocent. But Tanner wasn’t fooled. “Do what?” Cassidy said.
“You know what I’m talking about. Last night. Lauren.” He choked on the word, momentarily dizzy. He’d really blown it last night.
“What, you wanted me to ignore her? She was my friend, too.”
“You didn’t have to trick her into being a guest lecturer.” Tanner ripped off his glove and ran a hand through his matted hair. “Geez, Cass. You know how things ended between us.”
“Which is exactly why I did force the issue.” Cassidy sighed, grabbing a box and pulling it to the edge of the truck. “You need closure if you’re ever going to move on.”
It hadn’t felt like closure—it had felt like ripping bandages off wounds that were still as raw as the day Lauren created them. He’d thought they had healed. But he’d been wrong.
“I’ve moved on,” Tanner said. “I don’t know why I flipped out at her.”
“You haven’t had a single stable relationship since she left.”
“That’s not true. Denise and I dated for six months.”
“You never even let us meet her.”
Tanner folded his arms. “It’s a long drive from Texas.”
“Okay, so what about Kara? You broke up with her because she liked roller coasters.”
Tanner rolled his eyes. “No breakup is that black and white.” But Kara had been a bit of an adrenaline junkie, and it had reminded him a lot of Lauren.
“You’re not okay, Tanner.” Cassidy place a soft hand on his arm. “You need closure.”
“What I need is for you to let me make my own choices. Forcing Lauren to spend time with me won’t accomplish anything good.”
“She wanted to come.”
Tanner swallowed hard, not liking the hope that burned in his heart.
“It’s not like I expect you to get back together,” Cassidy continued, effectively dowsing the flame. “But I do think you two have unresolved issues. I love you. I don’t like watching you struggle.”
“I know that first year was hard, but I’m fine now. Really.”
“You didn’t seem fine last night.”
“I was caught off guard.”
Cassidy ran a hand over her braid, smoothing it over her shoulder. “You’re never going to be happy until you sift the flour and take out the bad parts.”
“I can’t sit back while she teaches my class and act like nothing’s happened.”
“I don’t expect you to, and I’m guessing neither does she.” Cassidy placed a gentle hand on his arm. “I think she wants to talk about it just as much as you.”
“I’m not sure this is the way to do it.” He pulled a hand through his hair. “I thought I was okay, but when she mentioned storms, all the bad memories came back, and I lost it.”
“She was eighteen, Tan, and going through a lot when she left. She wasn’t herself.”
“Yes, but—”
Cassidy held up a hand to stop him. “I know. But Lauren’s a good person. Don’t forget that I know what it feels like to be betrayed by someone you love. And I know you can’t move on and be happy until you resolve this in some way. She’s right here, ready to talk. I would’ve killed for a conversation like that.”
Cassidy’s voice caught, and Tanner instantly felt heavy with shame. He was acting like he was the only one who’d been jilted, but Cassidy had been through even more than he had.
“When Drew left me at the altar—when I lost the baby later that night—I thought my life was over. I let myself become so bitter and angry that I almost didn’t allow Jase into my heart. I don’t even want to think about where I’d be if it weren’t for him.”
“Hey.” Tanner pulled his sister in for a quick hug, mussing her hair. She laughed and jerked away. “I know you’ve been through some hard times, too. But I’m not bitter. Honest.”
“You were certainly acting bitter again last night.”
“Well, the whole thing was sort of sprung on me.”
“If you allowed Lauren the chance to explain—maybe even to apologize—you could both air out your dirty laundry and put it behind
you.”
“And she needs to be a guest lecturer in my class to do all that?”
“It gives you some common ground to start a conversation, and it’s an easy and non-threatening way to open the lines of communication. Besides, I’ll bet she really does have some amazing stories that your students would love to hear.”
Tanner sighed, adjusting his glasses. It would feel good to finally ask Lauren the questions that had been plaguing him for four years. The questions that had kept him awake at night.
“Okay, give me Lauren’s information and I’ll send her a text. I’m assuming you got her number?”
Cassidy grinned and whipped out her phone. “Yes. You won’t regret this.”
Tanner was already regretting it, at least a little. “Just give me the number.”
Cassidy rattled it off, and Tanner quickly typed it into his phone. But five a.m. was too early to text someone he was barely acquainted with, so he waited until the moving truck had been unloaded and the truck returned before sending her a message.
If you really don’t mind talking to my class, you could come this Wednesday at 2 p.m. Room 109 at the Sunset Plains campus. You could talk about your experiences with storm chasing for an hour, and the classroom is set up for audio/visual.
The response was almost immediate. Had she been waiting for him to text, or just happened to have her phone nearby? Unease curled up his spine, weaving with thin strands of hope.
I’ll be there. Maybe after class is over, we can talk.
Chapter Five
LAUREN PULLED UP TO THE cemetery, gravel crunching under her tires. Her foot shook and she slammed on the brake too hard, bringing the car to a jerky stop. With a trembling hand, she shifted the gear into park.
She hadn’t been to the cemetery—any cemetery—since her parent’s funeral.
Maybe she should’ve accepted Mr. Olson’s invitation to the graveside service last week instead of leaving for Tulsa immediately after the funeral. At the time, she’d thought returning to the cemetery for another funeral would make things harder. But maybe it would’ve been the other way around, and the comforting presence of others would’ve helped her feel calm.