Even in his current mood, he couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of his brothers. The hairstyles and matching outfits were pure nineties flashback, and not in a good way.
The video of his brothers ended and suddenly, Marcus was staring at a younger version of himself. The song was the title track from his first album, Before and After. When the music video ended, the host mentioned all the awards the song won, as well as the many records it broke.
Marcus leaned back in his chair.
It had been…what? Eighteen years since he wrote that song. Seventeen since he’d recorded it. Had he known what a big hit it’d become, he might've never released it.
Not that he was ungrateful for the blessings. He thanked God for showing him favor every day. But with the song's success came an onslaught of media attention. And with the media attention, the questions: What inspired the song? Was it based on his own life? What was the story behind it?
At the time, the last thing he wanted to talk about was the story behind those lyrics. While the song went on to minister to the hearts of many, for Marcus, it was also a reminder of extraordinary pain. Years would pass before he even spoke about it. And even then, all he said was, "My inspiration was a letter from someone I loved very much."
He still kept that letter with him, along with two matching wedding bands that'd never been worn.
Marcus closed his eyes and leaned his head back.
He believed God and he believed God would do what He’d promised, but that didn’t mean seeing year after year go by without any change didn't affect him. It did. Sometimes there seemed no end in sight. Doubt would set in and he’d wonder whether he’d die, still waiting.
Those were the times he was tempted to give up. But if life had taught him anything, it was to never give up. Those times of doubt were when he’d lean on the Word and the promises within it. Most especially, Proverbs 23:18…
"For surely there is an end; and thine expectation shall not be cut off."
Until that end manifested, he'd carry the letter and the rings with him as a reminder, to God and himself, of a promise made to be kept.
Marcus Thomas fell in love at first sight.
He and his family had just moved to Dallas, Texas and finding a church was the first thing on his mother's to-do list. It was a beautiful and sunny morning when the Thomas family filed into New Life Tabernacle for the first time. Hands were clapping, feet were stomping and the choir was bringing down the house. All of his brothers were singers and musicians, so they immediately loved the place. His mother, on the other hand, was reserving her opinion until she’d heard the sermon.
Marcus didn't care what any of them thought, he'd already seen all he needed to convince him New Life was his new church home.
"Dan,” Marcus whispered, nudging his brother with his elbow. Daniel gave him the look older brothers always gave annoying, younger ones.
"What?"
“See that girl right there?" He pointed to a young girl on the second pew, clapping and swaying to the music.
"What about her?"
"I'm marrying that girl right there."
Daniel sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Junior! You're ten. You ain't marrying nobody."
Before Marcus could reply, the judgment of God came down on the back of his head in the form of his mother's hand.
"You two better stop embarrassing me before I take you out back! You hear me?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Rubbing at the stinging sensation on the back of his head, Marcus smiled as he watched the girl rock back and forth in time to the music. Ten or not, Marcus knew he'd just seen the love of his life.
Carrie, the object of his affection, being only eight, proved to be less forward thinking. After the service, when he proposed, her only response was a blank stare. She had little interest in him or any boy, for that matter. What she was interested in, was all things church.
This, however, did not deter Marcus in the least. It took him a while, but he devised a plan: He would show her just how "churchy" he could be.
At first, it was little things, like making sure he stayed awake during Sunday school and doing errands for his brothers to earn pocket change for the collection plate. None of it impressed her. But then, at age twelve, the church secretary announced a young people's Friday night shut-in and he knew it was the opportunity he'd been waiting for.
Now if Marcus was known for anything, it was being bad, so when he begged his parents to let him spend all night praying, they were dumbstruck and suspicious. His mother was one of the adults set to keep watch, so after much begging and pleading, she agreed to bring him along. And just as he’d hoped, Carrie was there with her cousin and grandmother.
People gathered at the altar and knelt in the first few pews and began to pray. Having never been to a shut-in, Marcus hadn't thought to bring a pillow. After ten minutes of kneeling on the hardwood floor, his knees were hurting like crazy. Still, he was determined to see it through. Every few minutes, he'd peek over the pew at Carrie, hoping she'd noticed how holy he was, but each time he looked, her eyes were closed and she seemed occupied with actual praying.
After close to an hour of his kneecaps being on fire, he decided it was time to get some attention.
The young men had been doing a tag-team of sorts, each leading the group for a while until someone else took over. Marcus got up and joined in, walking the floor while shaking his head and wringing his hands.
"Yes! Yes, Lord!" He shouted in response to whatever the current prayer leader said.
He got louder and louder and started having a good time. So good, he decided to do the little jig he saw Deacon Lewis do every Sunday, followed by the two-step Mother Washington did on Wednesday nights. He was having such fun doing his imitations, he hadn't noticed how quiet the room had become.
When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Eugenia Anne Thomas coming at him like a freight train. He knew the look on her face all too well. The second she was within arm's reach, she snatched him by his shirt and proceeded to drag him down the center aisle to the back of the church. After she was done with him, it would be all but impossible for him to sit without wincing.
Though he knew what was coming, he couldn't wipe the grin off his face. Because while his mother and her impending wrath was the first thing he saw, Carrie and her shy, heartfelt smile, was the second.
But a smile was just the start. What Marcus really wanted was to convince Carrie no other guy could love her more than him.
At age thirteen, he spent all his free time memorizing the books of the Bible so he could participate in the youth night Bible drills.
By this time, his mother had grown even more suspicious of his godly endeavors.
“You better not be doing all this just to impress that girl."
Marcus played like he had no idea what she was talking about, all the while begging God, the Holy Spirit and any angel that would listen, to put him and Carrie on the same team. Marcus’ prayer was answered, and then some. When he could find more verses, faster than anyone else, Carrie quietly said, “Maybe we'll be on the same team again next week."
At fourteen, he spent months practicing Michael Jackson's dance moves and proceeded to give her and her cousin a one-man show in the fellowship hall after Sunday school. Carrie wasn’t as impressed as he’d hoped, but Robin whispered to him on their way out, “She thinks you're cute."
When Carrie joined the choir at fifteen, Marcus was right behind her. It didn't take long for everyone to realize how talented he was, and like his brothers before him, he began getting most of the solos.
That didn't last long.
No matter how many times the choir director told him not to, Marcus looked at Carrie and grinned through the whole selection. Finally, he was asked to leave the music department. From then on, he just looked at her and grinned from the congregation.
Then one day, when he was eighteen, he and his family attended the church’s annual Memorial
Day picnic. While the other young people played tug-o-war, double dutch and tag, Marcus sat at one of the picnic tables.
He’d recently discovered how cool he looked in a muscle tee and shades and decided to share his findings with the rest of the world. He sat, leaned back, elbows on the tabletop behind him, eyes closed. He didn’t know anyone had approached until the perfume that’d become his favorite fragrance, wafted by his nose.
When he opened his eyes to find Carrie right beside him, he sincerely thanked God he was already sitting down.
“Okay, Junior, this is the thing: I like you. I really, really like you. But I want to marry someone like my Uncle Emmett. I want to marry a man who loves God. I want to marry a man who's saved."
Marcus sat still, saying nothing. Carrie looked at the ground.
"Do I have to get saved today?"
She laughed and he thought his heart would explode with pride.
"No. Not today. But before you can marry me."
Marcus wanted to run all over the park like a madman, whooping and hollering to everyone in sight, but he knew that wouldn’t be cool. And seventeen year-old Marcus Thomas put a lot of time and effort into being cool.
"Deal," he said, taking a swig from the can of soda at his elbow.
He didn't sleep a wink that night.
From then on, they were like the sun and moon. In any and all ways, each other’s better half.
Until that last spring, when everything changed.
Even years later, he'd wonder how he didn't notice. In hindsight, there were dozens of little signs, warnings that something was wrong. But at the time, he failed to see them.
For instance, Marcus was never good at telling a joke. On his own, he could be hilarious, but he couldn't tell a joke to save his life. Only, he never knew that. Why? Because no matter how bad his retelling, Carrie laughed.
She was always laughing, even at the smallest thing. She reminded him of a child, the way she would throw her head back and hold her sides. And when she laughed, everyone around her laughed, too. They couldn't help it. Her joy was contagious.
But starting that spring and on into the summer, when he thought back on it, he couldn’t recall hearing her laugh. Not once. It’d made him angry, more than once, to realize that. To know he hadn’t noticed something so vitally important.
The biggest red flag of all came the night of her twenty-second birthday. He should’ve questioned her about her sudden change of mind. Her chastity had always been important to her. He should’ve known something was wrong when that changed. But no, he just plowed ahead, overjoyed to finally be with her in that most intimate way .
How many times had she told him he’d have to wait until they were married? How many times had she playfully popped him on the mouth, giggling as she said, “You betta keep those lips to yourself, mister!”
And yet...
After the night they spent together, she distanced herself from him. He assumed it was out of guilt for what they’d done. And then later, when he learned she was pregnant and he proposed, he thought her tears were because she was scared.
And who could’ve blamed her? Not only was she pregnant and unmarried, Marcus didn’t have enough money to buy her a real engagement ring for his proposal. His job prospects weren’t the best and he hadn’t gone to college. Even worse, he still lived with his parents.
On paper, he didn’t look very promising. But he intended on changing that.
In lieu of a ring, he presented her with an engraved gold pendant and explained that it was a promise. A promise to take care of her and their child, even if he had to work three jobs to do it. He had no idea Carrie’s tears had nothing to do with any of that. But by the time he did, it was all over and much too late.
Marcus had a hundred regrets regarding Carrie and their final summer together. But more than anything, he regretted the conversation they had one Tuesday night. Because if he’d known it would be their last, he never would’ve let her off the phone.
"Hello?"
"Mother Jones? This is Junior. How are you?"
"Oh, I'm blessed, baby. You calling for Carrie?"
"Yes, ma'am."
Marcus heard Mother Jones call out to Carrie to come to the phone. It took so long for her to pick up, he thought she'd forgotten he was waiting.
"Hello." Her voice was barely audible.
"Hey, girl! You okay?"
Silence. And then finally, “Yeah, I'm fine."
"My dad said you came by the house to see me. You should've waited."
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I... I was just tired."
Again, silence. Marcus bit at his lip. Something wasn't right, he just didn't know what it was. He'd read the first trimester of pregnancy was tough. Could that be it?
"Junior?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
He grinned. "I love you, too, Carrie."
"I..."
More silence.
"I've messed up."
He sighed. "No, it wasn't just you. I could've stopped and I didn't. And now… Look, everything's gonna be okay. I promise. I'm gonna take care of you." He could hear her softly crying. Very few things brought him down like knowing Carrie was unhappy. “Baby, why don't I come over—“
"No. It's too late. It's too late for that."
"First thing in the morning then, okay? First thing tomorrow morning, I'm coming over and we'll talk to your grandma and Pastor. I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you, you understand? If I have to move us to another city, I will. So don't worry about your family or those church folks or anybody else. It's me and you and this baby now, okay?"
She didn't answer. Marcus felt a restlessness he couldn't understand. Maybe the trouble was more than morning sickness…
"Carrie?"
"First thing in the morning?"
''Exactly."
"I love you, Junior."
"I love you too, baby. Good night."
"Good bye."
Less than twenty-four hours later, the entire family was a wreck. No one had any idea where Carrie could be. She was incredibly responsible and had never been in any trouble. And she never went anywhere without Robin or Junior.
Never.
Marcus, like everyone else, immediately set out to find her. He waited outside of all her classes and talked to anyone who would stand still. One girl, Emily, seemed as if she knew something, but whatever it was, she wouldn't say. The Jones family called every aunt, uncle, cousin, niece and nephew they had. No one had heard anything. It was like Carrie had vanished into thin air.
The police were no help at all. They wouldn’t even hear what the family had to say until forty-eight hours had passed. Once they had, the family was told, because Carrie was an adult, had taken money and packed her things, there was nothing they could do. They said she had every right to disappear and it was apparent that’s what she’d done.
But that didn't make any sense. Carrie was not the type to "disappear.” And everyone that knew her, knew that. No. Something was wrong. Something had happened.
Initially, the only people that knew she was missing were the Jones and Thomas families. But in less than a week, her disappearance was all the church could talk about and theories abounded.
Some had it going around that Carrie left Junior for a guy she met at school. Said they’d run away together. Others believed she’d joined a cult and had been disowned by the family. Even Marcus' mother had to put in her two cents.
“God knows I hope she ain’t dead or nothing like that, but I ain’t gonna lie, it’s better for you she's gone. The way you always acted around her? Like didn’t no one else exist? Never felt right to me.“
Marcus was not surprised by his mother’s confession. It wasn’t a secret she would’ve preferred him to be a mama’s boy. He was, however, surprised to hear her finally admit it.
"Don't worry about it, mama. When she gets back and we're married, I'll take her far enough you won't have to bother with either of us."
&nb
sp; Eugenia didn't have much to say after that.
But it made no difference. Marcus didn’t really care what anyone thought, his mother included. He’d loved Carrie for most of his life and if he knew anything, he knew she’d return to him. The possibility of any other outcome never entered his mind. And since she was coming back, he had no time to waste. He got a second job, working nights, and bought a proper engagement ring and a set of inexpensive wedding bands.
Before going to bed, he'd read through the apartment guides he'd picked up, searching for a place suited for a young couple raising a baby. On the weekends, he’d meet the guys he'd started a group with. They scrounged up enough cash to rent studio time and spent hour after hour preparing a demo to be sent out to the major labels. When he wasn’t recording, he shopped around the songs he’d written in his little free time. He worked nonstop, but didn't mind it one bit.
He’d made a promise to Carrie and when she came back, he wanted her to see he was a man of his word.
Carrie probably hadn’t planned for the letter to arrive when it did, but it happened all the same.
It was Marcus’ birthday and his manager let him off early. Determined to save as much as possible toward their new life, he’d made a habit of walking to and from work instead of driving his car or taking the bus. That day, he was falling asleep on his feet and decided to save time by cutting through the neighbor’s backyard straight to the back of his parents’ house.
He was passing through the tiny kitchen when he saw it.
An envelope with his name and address. It was lying atop that day's mail. What stopped him dead in his tracks was the handwriting. He would’ve known it anywhere.
He picked up the letter and held it in his hands. His heart was beating so hard, for a split second, he was worried he’d black out. His hands trembled as he ran his fingers over the perfectly shaped letters of his name.
He knew it.
No matter what anyone else had said, he knew Carrie would never disappear from his life. She loved him too much. And now, there in his hands, was the proof. Even if it were just a "Dear John" letter, it was still her, reaching out to him. He'd use it to find her and their baby and bring them back home.
Nobody’s Child (New Life Tabernacle Series Book 1) Page 25