‘Err, that’s right it does.’
‘And that’s called a moron, or something.’
‘Oh, an Oxymoron?’
‘Yep, that’s the one!’ she said snapping her fingers at me.
I was momentarily caught off guard; Jade knew what an Oxymoron was as well as that the possibility of contradicting yourself in a sentence could create an alternate meaning. What other depths did these kids have?
‘Mr Ellis used to say that to us all, the time didn’t he?’ Kurt asked.
‘Yeah that’s right,’ Jade responded.
‘I’m sorry I’m lost here. Mr Ellis?’
‘Our form teacher,’ Tommo offered. ‘We all went to the same school and all got the same detentions.’
‘Oh, I see.’
I soldiered on until lunch time and in order to assess their writing skills I asked them all to write a short piece on themselves. This was again met with howls of derision but once I explained that there was a need to be able to write legibly in order to have an enhanced chance of getting a job all but one attempted the exercise with varying results.
The abstainer was Sam who point blank refused to put pen to paper, unsure of how to deal with the situation I elected to overlook his belligerence for the time being in the hope that peer pressure might change his attitude.
Following lunch I attempted to introduce a simple arithmetic exercise.
‘Oh man maths!’ Tommo exclaimed. ‘It’s like being at school.’
‘You never went anyway!’ Kurt chided. ‘Prof though, maths dude? We have done loads of work this morning, can’t we do something less boring?’
“Loads of work”? One paragraph, of on average three lines constituted loads of work? Oh good grief! I had four weeks at three days a week to complete the course work. At this rate I felt I was going to need four months. I needed to be able to draw on something, anything to get through to three o’clock.
‘Well we have a lot of ground to cover in a short time.’
‘Oh, Prof. Lighten up!’ Jade suggested. ‘We are only sixteen!’
Sixteen? That was it!
‘Ok…… have you guys ever heard of Nefertiti ?’
‘Doesn’t he play for Real Madrid?’ Zeke asked.
‘Err no. She was an Egyptian girl who became queen when she was only fifteen.’ I said looking at Jade. With no response I pressed on, ‘This was a long time ago and back then women were second class citizens in Egypt.’
‘A bit like here, now, then?’ Jade said.
‘Maybe, but…..she did something about it aged only fifteen. She changed a nation.’
‘How?’ Kurt asked.
Unbelievable, I had them! I looked from face to face and even Sam appeared to be waiting for my response.
‘She married the Pharaoh Amenhotep who was the king and they had a daughter. Legend has it that when the baby was born the palace bells rang out. It was tradition that it rang three times for a boy and twice for a girl. She demanded that the bells ring three times for her daughter as she felt that a Princess was just as important as a Prince.’
‘That’s cool,’ Jade said. ‘Girl power!’
‘Indeed.’
‘The Mummy!’ Zeke shouted.
‘Pardon?’
‘The Mummy.’ Tommo repeated as if this would make it clearer.
‘Y’know? With Brendan Frazier?’ Kurt suggested.
I had no idea what they were talking about.
‘Brendan F..?
‘Frazier. The actor.’ Jade said. The bewilderment I was feeling was obviously evident on my face, ‘The Mummy is a film, it has Amo…, Amona…., that Pharaoh in it.’
‘Amenhotep?’
‘That’s the Geezer!’ she said cheerfully. ‘It’s a cool film.
The rest of the group added their ascent to this and I elected to end the session there, mainly because I had no idea where to go from that point. I needed to take stock and consider my strategy.
‘Ok, guy’s it is two thirty.’
‘Can we go?’ Tommo asked.
‘Ye….’
I never got a chance to finish my sentence before the room was cleared.
‘See you tomorrow,’ I said to the empty desks.
‘So how did it go?’ Stacy asked a little later.
‘To be honest I am not sure. They didn’t kill me at least, so that’s something.’
She laughed and although I was intentionally applying a small amount of dry humour I was not straying too far from my true feelings. I was confused about the session, had it been a success? Or did that even matter as I had now completed one day and only had eleven to go? Yes it mattered, I told myself. Despite everything else I was a professional and I wanted to do a good job.
‘I ended up talking about Nefertiti.’
‘Who?’
Lord above! Was I going to have to repeat the session for Stacy? I was hoping to get some feedback, maybe a little guidance but I had to accept I was the educator here after all.
‘The Egyptian Queen.’
‘Oh right. Blimey how did you get onto that?’
I recounted the session to her and she waited patiently as I concluded my monologue, then she said ‘Sounds like it went really well.’
‘You think?’ I was genuinely surprised. I had survived but “went really well” was perhaps an overstatement.
‘’Yeah, let’s see. They all...but one, completed the written work you set?’ I nodded. ‘Do you have any idea how much of an achievement that is? These guys have spent their whole school career avoiding anything that looked remotely like English and Maths. You get nearly all of them to write something first time out, that’s fab!’
‘Then using Nefer-whatshername.’
‘Titi.’
‘Titi, blinding absolutely blinding!’
I assumed this meant “good”, not detrimental to their eyesight, ‘How so?’
‘You made it relevant to them, using her age. That all is not lost just cos you’re sixteen, you could tell by the way they reacted to your story and talked about the film, top stuff Marcus! Course the acid test is gonna be if they come back tomorrow.’
I had not been expecting this, was she just soft soaping me to keep me engaged or did she mean it? She seemed like a very genuine person and it would be gratifying to receive this type of comment in any walk of life. I felt like I had done some good, maybe I could build on it, perhaps…
I stopped myself, there was a risk that I might get too involved and that was pointless, this was short term after all.
‘Do you mind if I check my emails?’
‘Habit?’
‘Sorry?’
‘That’s what you said this morning, habit.’
Oh yeah, of course.’
It was now four thirty, so ten thirty in the USA. I opened up my inbox with a sense of rising expectation; there was nothing new since I had checked this morning. I left it open for as long as I could in the hope something would appear. Stacy walked in, ‘You fit then?’
I quickly shut the email window down, ‘Pardon?’ I was not out of shape but mainly exercised my mind rather than my body. Would I call myself fit? I was not sure.
‘Ready to go?’
‘Oh right, yeah.’
‘You got a coat?’
‘No why?’
‘Cos it’s peeing it down.’
I looked out of the window and my heart sank, I would have to wait until tomorrow to check for Hank’s response and I was going to get soaked on the way home as well.
‘Shut the PC down and I’ll give you a lift home.’
‘You sure?’
‘Course! Can’t have my top teacher ringing in sick cos he’s got a cold!’
‘Oh.’ I felt a little let down that she was not offering me a lift as an act of kindness but merely protecting an asset, how could I ring in? I didn’t have a phone.
‘I’m joking! C’mon lets go.’
For some reason I found myself attempting a joke in response ‘W
ell that’s good as I couldn’t ring in tomorrow anyway, as I don’t have a phone!’
She looked at me for a second and I began to think she had not grasped my feeble attempt at humour and then she smiled saying, ‘Hmmm, hang on,’ and disappeared into a cupboard. A few moments later she reappeared brandishing a mobile phone.
‘It’s pay as you go and has….three quid left on it,’ she said peering down at the phone. She handed me the phone and the charger.
‘The centre number, plus Yu’s and my mobiles are all stored on it. My home number is on there too, if you need it.’
‘Thank you, that’s very kind but I can’t afford to top it up. ‘
‘It’s only a fiver a go.’
I shrugged and shook my head.
‘Really? That bad?’ she asked.
‘I’m afraid so,’ I could not stop myself from blurting out ‘I won’t be able to eat until Yu cooks breakfast tomorrow.’ My sense of desperation was suddenly putting in a re-appearance. Stacy just looked at me for a moment then said quietly, ‘You should’ve said. Listen, grab something from the freezer and heat it up when you are at home.’
‘It’s ok; I don’t have anything to cook with either…’ I felt pathetic telling her this just a short while after my emotional high following the teaching session.
‘So what you gonna to do?’
‘Ask Yu for double in the morning I assume.’
‘Oh Marcus, I had no idea. Well I’m sure petty cash can stand you for enough to get fish n chips?’
A wave of emotions washed over me, relief, gratitude, guilt and hope. The mix was almost too much to cope with, I managed to choke back any overt emotional reaction and simply said ‘Thank you, then added ‘I’ll pay it back on Thursday.’
‘Don’t be soft!’ she said handing me a ten pound note. ‘That’ll keep you going for a bit, just get me a receipt!’
I could have kissed her.
We made our way through the rain to her camper and climbed inside.
‘Ok, let’s Rock and Roll!’ she called out.
We set off into the wet London traffic and managed about thirty yards before we stopped. I’m gonna just have to drop you off, I’ve gotta pick Max up at five thirty,’ she said.
‘Ok, no problem, am I taking you out of your way?’
‘Nah, not really. He is about ten minutes from you.’
‘Oh right,’ then struggling to make small talk I asked, ‘What does he do?’
The traffic lights changed and Stacy put “Dolly” into gear, as we lurched forward she distractedly said ‘Kid’s day care.’
So her partner was a caring person too, an unusual career for a male but I could see how someone who was of such a disposition to work in that field would be a good fit for Stacy.
‘This is it,’ I said as we pulled up outside. She eyed the building warily, ‘Number three,’ I added simply to have something to say. I thanked her for the lift and assured her that the chip shop was not too far away and yes I would put on my coat to go there. She pulled away and I made my way inside.
Having shaken off the worst of the rain I sat on my mattress with a cup of tea and contemplated the day. At the forefront of my mind was the frustration at having missed Hank’s response but I reassured myself that it would be there tomorrow morning. At least I had completed one day relatively unscathed, well more than unscathed it seemed. In fact it was potentially a success, now that was a surprise.
The group’s interest in Nefertiti’s story was an even bigger surprise but was mainly down to the film they had mentioned “The Mummy”. Maybe I could find some way of using this to keep things moving forward, perhaps if I somehow traded a story for some work? However I was unsure about how to do this.
My stomach started to grumble, I looked out at the rain and decided that I would brave the trip to the chip shop my thoughts on how to develop my teaching coming to an abrupt end, it was possible Stacy would have an idea tomorrow anyway.
Chapter 10.
For economic reasons I elected to have sausage and chips. Leaving the steamy warmth of the chip shop and entering the rain was shock but not as much as being shouted at from behind.
‘Oi Marcus!’
I turned to see Alfie walking towards me with a golf sized umbrella.
‘Wanna share me brolley mate?’
‘Oh, yeah. That’s very kind, thank you.’
As we walked I tucked the chips inside my jacket, it burned a little a first but soon became a pleasant source of warmth.
‘So, what you been up to?’ he asked.
‘I, er, I have been at my “Placement” I think it’s called.’
‘What’s that then?’
‘It’s where I go to teach on a voluntary basis in order to get my benefits. Don’t you have one?’
‘Me? Nah, I can’t be faffed with all that malarkey. So you’re a teacher then?’
‘Profe… yeah I am.’
‘So what happened?’
‘My department was closed; I’m waiting on a new position.’
‘Yeah? Good. You’re like me, a mover and a shaker as they say.’
Hardly, I thought. How on earth did he do it? Money to spend in the pub and no work placement, I assumed he was simply adept at playing the system.
‘So what you teaching now?’
‘Well, I’m trying to help a group of young people get an employability qualification.’
‘That’s good, nice one. What are they learning?’
Grateful for the shelter from the rain and with a growing feeling of warmth, mainly due to the chips but also in part towards Alfie, I found myself recounting the day’s events including my dilemma about how to proceed.
‘Why don’t ya show em the film? Y,know? Do a bit of graft and get to watch the film?’
What an excellent idea! An endeavour and reward system, creating a work ethic would surely tie in with an employability course. Alfie had yet again surprised me.
‘That’s a great idea!’ I said but as the words left my mouth I realised there was a fatal flaw in the plan. ‘Alas Alfie I don’t have a copy of the film or anything to show it on even if I did.’
‘Well that sucks,’
‘Indeed it does.’
We had reached the front door and Alfie sheltered me as I opened it to let us both in. At my door I said ‘Well thanks for that, sorry I can’t use your idea though.’
‘Where do you teach mate?’
‘The Silverdale centre, you know it?’
‘Yeah, I have heard of it. Anyway catch you later,’ and with that he disappeared upstairs.
Once I had eaten I realised I had enough change to eat from the chip shop for another two nights which would take me up to pay day. Buoyed at this I spent the rest of the evening watching the rain and thinking about the future, surprisingly this was not just about America but also how to implement Alfie’s idea. Why was I so concerned about it, after all I was not planning on sticking around?
The next morning the rain was still pouring down in traditional British summer time tradition, as I was about to leave there was a knock at the door. I assumed it was Alfie and said ‘Hello mate,’ as I opened the door.
‘Hello mate?’ Stacy said. ‘Since when do you talk like a local?’
‘Oh, sorry I thought you were someone else.’
‘So it seems. Can I come in?’
‘Err sure,’ I said stepping back to allow her in. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘It’s raining if you hadn’t noticed. I’ve just dropped Max off and thought I’d give you a lift in, save you getting wet.’
‘Oh, well thanks that’s really kind.’
She was looking around the room at my inflatable mattress and sleeping bag, ‘What’s this, camping?’
It took a moment for me to comprehend what she meant, I had not realised how quickly I had come to accept my new living conditions.
‘My old place was furnished you see and well this one……isn’t.’
‘Apart f
rom the TV on the landing,’ she said inclining her head towards the door.
The what? Outside my door was a small TV with a built in DVD player, cello taped to the top was an envelope with some writing on it.
Marcus, we can’t have these kids missing out can we?
Consider this a donation to the cause.
Alfie.
Inside the envelope were three DVD’s all of which were “The Mummy” movies.
‘Well……blimey!’ I said.
‘What’s this?’ Stacy asked.
‘A donation to the cause,’ I replied with a smile. ‘Good job you came, I wouldn’t want to have had to carry this all the way to the centre.’
‘Even if you had managed it you would have blown yourself up!’
‘What?’
‘It would be soaking by the time you got it there. Duh! Water and electricity don’t mix… Y’know you can be very thick for a really smart person sometimes!’
‘Right, yeah. Anyway how did you get in?’ I said changing the subject.
‘Oh, a guy was leaving and I told him I was here to see you. He let me in but the cheeky git asked me for my number and if I wanted to be a model!’
‘That will be Alfie.’
‘Our TV donator?’
The very same.’
We took our new addition with us, Stacy parked Dolly illegally outside the front door to the center in order to prevent the TV from getting wet. Once she had opened up and turned off the alarm I rushed in with it and set it up in my room while she legally parked Dolly.
‘Ok guys, here’s the plan,’ I said once the group had arrived. ‘You get to watch a short bit of the film and then you write me a little bit about what you have just seen. Later you get to watch a bit more while I go through what you have written. Tomorrow we will do the same again but you will need to improve on any of the things that I find wrong in your writing. Everyone understand?’
‘What, we’re gonna watch the same film again? That’s rubbish!’ Tommo declared.
‘No Tommo, I have three different films but you all have got to apply yourselves and do the best you can, ok?’
‘Yeah what ever can you turn it on now?’ Zeke asked.
We watched the first half an hour of the film and there were groans of complaint when I turned it off.
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