Help, help help! Anyone help!
‘How do you extract the DNA? Do you just use hairs and surface contact or do you do invasive procedures to get to the vital organs? She looked very animated as she asked this, maybe she was a serial killer?
I ran from the shop.
When she had stopped laughing Stacy attempted to sympathise, she had called me on the mobile she had given me to ensure I was not backing out and check that I had in fact bought a shirt. She gave me directions and advised that we would all meet up outside the club.
It was about two hours before the sun went down when I set off walking, the evening was pleasant and I elected to stroll. I tried to push the encounter with Louise to the back of my mind but I was convinced I was suffering from paranoia as on several occasions’ people who had overtaken me on the street due to my slow pace seemed to look back at me and giggle or shake their heads. At one point I stood in front of a shop window to check my reflection and although I looked at bit conspicuous it was no more so than anyone else on the street. It must be my imagination after the traumatic event I decided.
Taking my time as much as I could I was dismayed to reach our rendezvous far more quickly than I had hoped, I was still the last one to arrive but was anticipating several hours torture ahead.
‘Where have you been?’ Stacy chided. ‘Oh you numpty Marcus! Turn around.’
Slightly taken aback by this verbal onslaught I did as I was told. Stacy began to fiddle with the collar of my shirt eventually extracting a label.
‘The bleedin price tag was still on it! What are you like?’
‘Ah, I hadn’t realised,’ I said.
‘Well you look smart enough now, good choice.’
‘Thank you.’ She seemed to be waiting for me to say something but I had no idea what. I was about to fill the conversational gap by asking where Max was when she said, ‘So how do I look?’ gesturing at herself with a two handed downward sweeping motion.
She was dressed in a short tight blue dress and matching high heels, it was the first time I had seen her with make up on.
‘Different,’ I said truthfully.
This was evidently not the answer she had hoped for, ‘Different?’ she repeated. Her smile vanished and she said ‘Right lets go in.’ As she walked away Paul who had been standing behind her looked at me, put his hand over his eyes and shook his head. I shrugged as if to ask what the issue was and he just smiled and followed Stacy.
The inside of the club was not as bad as I had anticipated, there were plenty of empty seats and the music was not too loud, it was certainly quieter than Alfie’s dustbin banging chimps. Stacy and the girls had decided to visit the ladies room and Paul bought me a drink. As we sat ourselves down he said ‘Different? Nice one mate!’
‘Well she does look different,’ I protested.
‘Course she does, she’s in a club. Listen try and subtly slot “You look nice” into the conversation ok?’
‘Ah, I see.’ Stacy had been seeking confirmation that her appearance was acceptable, surely she knew that?
As they returned from the ladies Stacy sat next to me, ‘Ok?’ she asked seemingly prepared to overlook my fashion advice slip up.
Paul nudged me, ‘You look nice,’ I blurted. Paul looked away in disgust.
‘I thought it was different?’ she said.
‘Well yes it is, nicely different though.’
‘So I don’t normally look nice?’
‘No, yes! Both….’
‘Marcus dude, land the plane before it crashes mate!’ Paul whispered in my ear.
Stacy was looking at me as if I had dropped to earth from a great height. ‘What I mean is you always look nice but tonight you look different and nice.’
‘So you like it then?’
‘Like what?’
‘My dress?’
‘Yes it’s…..nice.’
‘Time for the parachutes,’ Paul said.
Desperate to change the subject I said, ‘It’s quite errr….nice in here.’
Stacy seemed to have either swallowed something unpleasant or was trying not to laugh, ‘Yeah, it is ….. nice. I guess? You like it?’
‘Hmmm, it’s not as loud or crowded as I thought.’
Two hours later I felt like I was trapped in a human sardine can with pounding music, this must be the type of training Special Forces used to help them withstand torture if captured. I made for the one place I thought might offer me sanctuary, the toilet.
Having spent around thirty minutes inside one cubicle I was forced to leave when it seemed that a couple had elected to have sex in the one next door. As I exited I could hear a young man say ‘Rachael you’re the best.’ The expected appreciative response did not follow; only silence then, ‘My names Pam!’ I beat a hasty retreat.
Re-joining the throng I skirted the wall until I found another toilet on the far side of the dance floor, I managed to spend another twenty minutes or so in there before venturing out again and making my way back to our table.
Paul was still sitting where I had left him, ‘Where you been?’ he asked.
‘The toilet.’
‘For nearly an hour! Who spends an hour on the loo in a club?’
‘It was busy.’
‘Well now your back you can watch the table while I have a dance.’
‘Sure,’ that was fine with me. I could happily sit anonymously at the table all night. Or not as it turned out.
‘Marcus?’
I looked up and froze in terror as I made eye contact with Louise. Gone was the smart business suit and tied back hair, in was a very small dress and lots of blonde curls.
‘Oh, err hi?’
She sat down next to me without waiting for an invite. Had she followed me? Was she a stalker, a crazed killer stalker person?
‘That was quite rude of your earlier,’ she said.
‘Ah yes. Err….sorry.’
‘I understand though. I must have caught you by surprise.’
‘You could say that.’
‘You’re not who I thought you were.’
‘I wasn’t aware you thought I was anybody?’
‘Oh yeah. “Single professional male”,’ she said making those ridiculous quotation marks in the air with her fingers. I was still none the wiser. ‘I was due to meet someone there and I mistook you for them,’ she explained.
‘How? Did you not know them either?’
‘No.’
This conversation was in danger of becoming as scary as the first one, ‘I don’t follow,’ I said. I was not sure I wanted to.
‘It was a blind date, well introduction. Through a dating agency, you know?’ I didn’t really but was happy to let her talk in the hope someone else would come back to the table. ‘Anyway, there are no names used so I was waiting for “Single professional male” and thought that was you. Sorry.’
At that point I spotted Stacy who was making her way back, ‘Also the discussion about DNA must have surprised you?’
‘Somewhat.’
‘You see I am a research chemist, so what you said was really interesting.’
‘Ah,’ how to tell her I lied?
‘I lied,’ I said.
‘What?’
‘I know nothing about DNA.’
‘So why say that you did?’
‘Don’t mind me I’m just gonna grab…’ Stacy said as she reached the table.
‘This is Louise, we met earlier,’ I interrupted.
There was evidently a moment’s confusion for Stacy as she made the relevant cognitive connections, then her expression hardened.’
‘Oh right,’ she said sitting down. ‘I’m Stacy.’
‘I thought you were just grabbing?’ Louise asked.
‘Nope,’ Stacy replied taking a sip of her drink. ‘Don’t want to be rude, after all Marcus and I came together, if you pardon the pun.’
I looked at her aghast, what on earth was she doing? Implying some form of sexual overture to an already awkward c
onversation was not what I had expected. I looked between them and their expressions were both like ice.
‘I’m sure you won’t mind if I dance with him?’ Louise asked.
‘I certainly would.’
Good grief was this going to descend into one of those awful drunken catfights that were reported on the news periodically with pictures of young woman acting outlandishly whilst inebriated?
‘Cos, I wanna dance with him. C’mon baby,’ she said pulling me up. Then ‘Oh hi Alfie!’ I span around to see Alfie wearing a suit of all things grinning at us both.
‘Wotcha kids, having a good time?’
‘Great,’ Stacy said ruffling my hair then elaborately smoothing it back into place. ‘Oh by the way, this is Louise,’ she added gesturing with her head before she pulled me towards the dance floor.
‘Hello darling, you could be a model’ he said to Louise as we moved away.
Stacy led me to the dance floor, ‘I can’t dance,’ I confessed.
‘Why am I not surprised?’
However we did not join the mass of gyrating club goers we entered a smaller room were another dance floor was full of embracing couples slowly circling on the spot to much less frenetic music.
We joined the dance floor, ‘Put your arms around my waist,’ she said as she moved hers around my neck. We started to rotate on the spot, ‘See you’re dancing,’ she said. ‘That was funny,’ she added.
‘What Louise?’
‘Yeah let’s see how she handles Alfie? Keeps him away from me as well.’
As we turned there was a period where we didn’t speak, unsure of the etiquette in such a situation, I looked at other couples who all seemed to all be joined at the mouth in what I assumed was the act of kissing although it looked more like they were trying to eat each other. Probably not the thing for me to do right now I thought.
‘Err so how come Max didn’t come?’
‘What? I’m not gonna bring him here!’
Her reaction indicated to me that I was best served changing the subject, ‘So….what… .’
‘Marcus?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Stop talking and just dance with me.’
Chapter 14.
The following morning I slept late, waking up in time for lunch. I groggily made my way to the bathroom and for once appreciated the arctic blast of water from the shower. Having dressed, I began to consider what to eat when there was a knock on my door opening it I found Alfie still in his suit.
‘Alright mate.’
‘Morning Alfie.’
‘Just back from Louise, nice girl. Listen how about I stand you for some lunch? The pub up the road does a sorted menu if you want?’
‘Well that’s really kind of you Alfie.’
‘Nah, I feel a bit guilty. Anyway let me get cleaned up and I will be down. Oh yeah, got something for you.’
I waited as I heard Alfie moving about upstairs, eventually he reappeared in a pair of jeans and a pressed shirt. He also seemed to have washed his hair.
‘You look smart.’
‘Yeah, shower, shave and a sh…’
‘Yeah, I know the saying!’ I cut in. ‘A shower?’
‘Yep, plumbers finished now. Just got the the tiles still to do.’
How on earth did he manage to do these things, go to pubs and clubs, have his own shower and lord knows what else?
‘Oh yeah this is for you,’ he said holding out a small black bag which at first I mistook for a brief case with a strap. As he passed it to me I could feel the weight inside it.
‘What’s this?’ I asked.
‘It’s me old one, you can have it. For the centre like.’
I unzipped the bag and pulled out a laptop, ‘Alfie! You can’t do this, it must be worth a lot of money?’
‘Nah not really. It’s a few years old and I don’t use it no more. I reckon it’s worth less than last night, like I said I feel a bit guilty.’
I didn’t follow his train of thought at all, ‘Sorry?’
‘Well I could have got you lot in for free last night had I known you were going, how many of you were there?’
‘Five,’ I said. Still not quite believing what I was hearing.
‘Yeah, that’s easy worth more than that laptop. Plus the drinks, easy.’
‘How?’
‘How what?’
‘How could you have gotten us in for free?’
‘Well, it’s my club.’
As we made our way to lunch Alfie explained to me that he in fact owned his flat and was not nor ever had been on benefits. His main trade was as a talent agent with a share in the night club.
‘So the “You could be a Model” saying…..?’
‘Oh yeah, got a few on my books, in fact got one more last night.’
‘Louise?’
‘You got it.’
He treated me to a Sunday roast lunch during which I was still struggling to comprehend what he was telling me. ‘Why do you live here then? Surely you can afford somewhere nicer?’
‘It’s my home mate; can you imagine me in some leafy Surrey cul-de-sac? Nah neither can I, anyway I can keep me ear to the ground so to speak and I regularly find new talent,….like Louise for one.’
‘But I saw you! At the housing office, you had been evicted for having a r.., a…., something you shouldn’t have been doing!’
‘Eh? Oh no mate! That wasn’t me. That was Lofty, one of my rappers, got a bit carried away one night. He made the mistake of letting everyone know that he was having a rave on Facebook. Got a couple of hundred turn up, the Rozzers took exception. I was just speaking up for him, I’m his agent after all.’
‘Oh I see,’ actually the truth was far from it, Rozzers? Yet again I had no idea.
‘So what’s happening with you mate?’
I told him about my first week at the centre and as this story reached its conclusion I found myself confiding in him. ‘Can you keep a secret…mate?’ I said feeling very foolish.
‘Course, what’s up?’
I told him about Hank and the emails I had received, I also admitted that I had not told Stacy yet, I was expecting his admonishment, it didn’t come.
‘Well she’s a good kid, but she don’t own you. It’s your business and I think you did a top thing by arranging to wait until you finished the course before you went.’
‘You think?’
‘Yeah, lest of course you are interested in her?’
‘Interested?’
‘Yeah, y’know from leg over at one end of the deal to married with kids at the other. Interested.’
‘Oh no, no. She lives with someone called Max anyway.’
‘Well then, no drama hey?’
The following day I took the new laptop to work.
‘Another Alfie donation?’ Stacy asked sounding a little amazed.
‘That’s right.’
‘How long did it take for Louise to get away from him?’ she said with a wry smile.
‘Errm, I think until about lunchtime the next day when he left her to go home.’
‘No? The sly old dog! Anyway, more to the point did you enjoy yourself?’
Well no, as it happened but I was beginning to recognise that straightforward honesty tended to complicate things outside of the academic world, there was a need to tread carefully and select appropriate responses, even lie at times.
‘Oh yeah, it was very…..diverting.’
‘Diverting?’
‘My first time, so all a bit new.’
‘But good though?’
‘Oh very good, indeed.’ Liar.
‘Well we can do it again, if you like?’
Oh Hells Bells! I felt like I was at the rear of a train watching the front carriages crash off a bridge. Knowing what was coming and powerless to stop it.
‘Ermm, maybe.’
‘Maybe, right. Ok. Well something else then. Something less….’
‘Noisy?’ I offered, she nodded. ‘Crowded? Dare I say sweaty
?’
She started to laugh, ‘Ok, ok! I will think of something more……cerebral?’
Cerebral? She knew a word like cerebral? That I was surprised about and I found myself a little unexpectedly feeling quite proud of her. ‘Er listen, about the whole Louise thing.’
‘Yeah?’
‘Thank you.’
‘My pleasure,’ she said smiling.
Over the next two days I worked with my group on writing C.V’s on the new laptop, they were somewhat disappointed that it was not connected to the internet and all of them amazed me with their computing skills.
‘So Prof, what we gonna do with these C.V things we’ve done then?’ Tommo asked.
‘Well I thought we would go on a field trip this afternoon. To the Job Centre,’ this caused a chorus of groans. ‘Followed by an early finish,’ I added which made the whole deal much acceptable.
As we reached the job centre I was mentally taken back to the day I first walked through the entrance to meet Jon. It felt like a life time ago was it really only two weeks? So much had happened in such a short space of time, I found myself wondering what would happen in the next three?
I had insisted that all five of them select and apply for at least one job, Jade and Kurt began to study the job boards intently but the other three approached me with unhappy expressions on their faces.
‘There ain’t nothing here Prof,’ Zeke said.
I gazed around at the touch screen monitors which all seemed to be showing countless vacancies.
‘You sure?’ I said.
‘Nah nothing, can we go?’ Tommo asked.
‘Hang on a minute,’ I said.
I spotted Jon walking through the interview area and managed to catch his eye, he nodded for a security guy to allow me to join him.
‘Thanks Jon.’
‘Marc isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, that’s right.’
‘I though our two weekly appointment was tomorrow?’
It was and I had totally forgotten I had to “Drop in” every two weeks to be seen.
‘Yeah, yeah it is. I wanted to talk to you about something else…’
I explained how things were going at the centre and about the potential to work in the USA. Throughout this he nodded sagely, thankfully without making a comment.
‘The thing is Jon, I have three of the boys with me who have organised their C.V’s. They are complaining that there is “nothing” for them, I was wondering if you could see them for me?’
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