As Raymond so rightly said, May he rot in hell.
Before they left, Maddy told Nora that she wanted no part of Grandad Bob’s money, and that she would instruct the solicitor to make it over to Nora, at the first opportunity.
The old lady could hardly believe it. “I need a new three-piece suite,” she confided with embarrassment. “I’ve had this one for thirty years; it sinks, you know, when you sit on it. And I could do with a new set of teeth!”
Both Brad and Maddy had quietly noticed these things, but thoughtfully kept the revelation to themselves!
Maddy was hopeful that the money would more than replace Nora’s sagging three-piece suite. In fact, she wouldn’t be at all surprised if Nora wasn’t able to get a whole new houseful of furniture, a new car and go on a well-deserved holiday into the bargain.
As for herself, in the years when she worked night shift at the hospital, she had saved most of her wages, using only a small portion for her own modest needs. So she had plenty of cash.
On their way out of Blackpool, Maddy and Brad stopped and bought a bunch of carnations, which they took to the small churchyard where Bob Maitland had been buried; at his grave, Maddy felt the sense of a life chapter closing. “Thank you for being a good friend when I needed one,” she told him, blew him a kiss, and said her goodbyes.
Though she would write to Nora and make sure she was all right, Maddy knew that she would never come this way again.
Maddy wondered if Brad needed to go back home before they set off on the second leg of their journey, to Southampton and the Isle of Wight. “I need to be wherever you are,” he told her lovingly.
Sue and her family were taking care of things, along with the other staff at Brighill Farm, and the veterinary practices all had their own teams running them, so the “Fielding empire,” as Maddy called it, could manage without him for a few days, Brad said. Although he wasn’t sure about Roxy, who was just as silly a four-legged creature as dear old Donald had been.
“Are you sure you’re up to making this trip, sweetheart?” Brad asked, as they settled themselves in the café-lounge on the ferry. He had watched Maddy slowly recover over the past weeks, and though she was truly well now, he was worried that the unsettling batch of news Nora had passed on might prove to be too much for her.
Maddy put his mind at rest. “I’ve been out of it for so long,” she reminded him. “I won’t rest, until all the pieces are back together.”
“I can’t wait to meet your son.” Brad had been told everything, and to his dying day he would regret not being there when she most needed him.
As they drove off the ferry, Maddy noticed a garage and shop at the end of the street. “If you pull over, I’ll go and get a map,” she suggested to Brad. “We need to find the way to Ryde. It can’t be too hard, as the island isn’t very big.”
Brad did as she asked, and drew in and parked.
As Maddy came out with her map, she was almost knocked flying by a burly figure of a man. “Sorry, missus. Born clumsy, that’s me,” he apologized. He was a cheery sort. “Ah! Bought yourself a map then?” he inquired. He pointed to it. “You could ’ave saved your money and asked me,” he said. “There’s not a place or a road on this island that I don’t know about.”
Maddy showed him the address. “I know the place well,” he informed her proudly. “Intending to stay there, are you?”
Maddy shook her head. “I’m looking for my friend. She moved here a while back.” She took her leave, anxious for them to be on their way, now that they were so close to her son. Wishing him well, she made her way back to the car.
Brad was just pulling out when he reached over to squeeze Maddy’s hand. “Somebody up there must be watching over you,” he said warmly.
Maddy was certain of it. “I know that.” She leaned over to kiss him. “Because we found each other again.” She loved him so much it frightened her.
When they reached the address on Ellen’s letter, they found a tidy little bungalow with a garden full of flowers. Shaking like a leaf, Maddy knocked at the door, but there was no reply.
The lady next door was busy clipping her front hedge. She gestured to Maddy, who went over to her, and saw that her garden was overflowing with gnomes.
“Is it Mrs. Drew you want, love? You’ll not find her in at this time o’ day. She’s at work.”
She told Maddy exactly where to find Ellen. “Down on the esplanade, there’s a café called The Beach Place. You’ll find her there most days. She works from seven of a morning right through till six at night, sometimes. It’s no wonder she had a bad spell in hospital a few months back – run right down, she was. But she was soon up and on her feet, and now that the boss is retiring, she’s made him an offer.”
She rolled her eyes to heaven. “God knows what makes her want to be in debt like that. But in a few years, she’ll be able to sit back and let others do the hard graft.”
A born gossip, the neighbor gave Maddy a true picture of what life was like for Ellen, and Maddy could not help but feel compassionate. “She came here long ago, as a divorcée, she told me, and she doesn’t appear to be interested in meeting anyone else. Her only real joy in life is that lad of hers. She worships the ground he walks on! As for young Michael, he would do anything for his mum. Every day after sixth-form college, he’s down there, helping her out, and in the morning he does a paper round to earn his pocket money. Ah, but there’ll come a day when his mother’s debt is paid and he’ll be looking to build up a business of his own. The lad is ambitious enough, that’s for sure.”
Having thanked her, Maddy and Brad strolled down the steep road toward the café. Maddy felt as though her heart would burst with the tension.
Staying far enough away to get the lie of the land, she soon spotted her old friend Ellen. She was thinner than Maddy remembered, and slightly stooped from all the bending and carrying. She seemed well enough though, tanned and pretty, chatting to the customers and taking their orders. But there was a terrible fatigue about her.
Suddenly, a tall young man appeared. He was wearing a school blazer and carrying a bag full of books.
“Look, Brad!” Breathless with emotion, she drew his attention to the young man. “My head tells me not to leap to conclusions, but my heart tells me this is my son, lost to me all those years ago.” There was an odd mingling of pride and awe in her voice which now shook with emotion.
Brad could make no response. He felt like an intruder, at the scene of this drama, yet unable to tear himself away. With his immediate concern for Maddy, he gazed down on Ellen and the teenager, and he was deeply touched by the affection that flowed between them; just like the bond between a mother and her son.
Maddy saw it too. She saw how Ellen’s face lit up at the sight of this young man; the coveted baby who had been stolen all those years ago. Her heart was sore when she saw how he hugged his “mother” and chatted to her, each of them so content in the other’s company. There was no denying it. Ellen had seemed like a woman at the end of a long road, tired and weary, going about her work like a robot. Yet, when the boy appeared, it was as though she had suddenly come alive.
A great feeling of longing came over Maddy. She wanted to run and hold her son, and tell him who she was, and how desperately she had missed him. But then she watched them a while longer, these two; Ellen, who had no other love than that for the boy she had cared for from the beginning as if he was her own. And the young man, so easy in Ellen’s company; to all intents and purposes, she was his mother. It was painfully obvious to Maddy that he loved her deeply, in that very special way that a boy can love his mother.
The one thing that stood out in Maddy’s mind, more than anything else, was how very much like his father he looked. She prayed it was only in appearance and not in nature.
Suddenly, all the pent-up emotions broke loose and, turning away, she began to cry. When Brad’s comforting arm slid around her shoulders, she thought how fortunate she was to have such a good man, hopefully
for the rest of her life.
Maddy had come here for one purpose and one purpose only. And that was to claim her son.
Now though, she was torn. She had seen the love these two had for each other. Her heart was like a lead weight inside her. Turning to Brad, she asked brokenly, “Will you wait for me, please?”
Having witnessed it all, he understood and nodded, and so she went from him, and as he watched her walk away, he saw a lonely, forlorn soul, and his heart reached out to her. Sadly, there was nothing he could do. This was for Maddy to decide.
She did not look back. Instead, she kept on walking. She climbed down the steps and wandered onto the beach, lost in her thoughts and filled with memories of happier times with herself and Ellen, and the child that was conceived with a monster, who had long wanted her dead.
With her gaze fixed to the horizon, she wended her way out across the beach and on toward the sea; and from the shoreline, Brad watched, desperate to go to her, yet knowing he must not.
As the gentle waves slapped over her shoes, at her feet, Maddy turned it all over in her mind; Ellen and the boy, and the way they had grown together, built and shared a life together. And while even through her illness, she had kept her son in her deepest heart, it was painfully obvious to Maddy that Ellen had wiped all traces of his real mother from Michael’s mind. To all intents and purposes he was now Ellen’s child, and he loved her, as she loved him. So now, if she was to take him away from the woman he knew as his mother, how would he react? And what would become of Ellen?
“Would Michael hate me, if I came between them now, after all these years?” Maddy stared up at the shifting skies, and hoped that some almighty power would guide her. But she felt nothing, except confusion and doubt.
“And if I left him here and walked away, how would I feel afterward?” she murmured. “Could I live with the knowledge that I had abandoned my own son yet again and worse… to a woman who had stolen him from me? More than that, can I ever forgive her?” Another thought occurred to her. “If I took him now, and he was desperately unhappy… the damage I had done might be irreversible. If I destroyed his peace of mind, could I ever forgive myself?”
A sense of ontrage shook her. “But it isn’t my fault! She was the one who did wrong!”
Raising her face to heaven, she called out in anger, almost as though justifying herself to some unseen person, “ELLEN BETRAYED ME. SHE BETRAYED US BOTH. SHE STOLE MY SON!”
But then she thought of he who was at the heart of all the pain, revenge and fear… and knew that the blame needed to be apportioned elsewhere.
From the shore, Brad had seen her stop and raise her arms, and though the wind carried her voice away, he realized she was grappling with herself as to what must be decided. “Do what you think is right, my darling,” he murmured. “That’s all you can do.”
Far off, Maddy paced up and down for what seemed an age. Then, when the air struck colder and the skies took on a frown, she made her way back, and as she came toward him, Brad saw the look of resolution in her face.
“It’s time now,” she said softly. “It’s time for us to go.” Her sad smile touched him deeply.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
She merely nodded, and he understood. “You really are a remarkable woman,” he told her.
What she did next was also remarkable.
She went across the street to the news agents, to buy paper and an envelope, and right there, leaning on the promenade wall, she penned a letter to Ellen:
My dearest Ellen,
I came to take my son away from you, but I now realize that he left me long ago. He’s your son now. And if the day ever comes when he discovers the truth, tell him now, I could not have loved him more than you have done.
When he’s older, and a chance discovery might tell him of his past, please… show him this letter.
I so want to forgive you, but for now, you must be content with the knowledge that I leave my son in your hands, and you in his. Giving him up to you is so hard that I cannot contemplate forgiveness.
In time, I pray I will come to feel compassion toward you, and the forgiveness will surely follow.
Until then, be happy with this wonderful boy, and guide him well through his life. Sometimes I may be watching from a distance, and at other times, I will be far away. But I will think of you both always.
God bless, and be content.
She added a P.S.
You need to contact Nora. There is good news and bad. But in the end, the good may help you build a secure life for you – and our Michael.
Though you hurt me, Ellen, I can’t help but love you both with all my heart.
Maddy
XX
She crossed the road and, unseen, she entered the café, went straight to the counter and left the envelope, simply addressed to Ellen. On the way out, she was shocked to the core when Michael smiled on her. Yes, he had the look of Steve Drayton, but the kind, chestnut-brown eyes told her he was not his father’s son at all.
He was her son. And he always would be.
As Maddy and Brad walked back to their car, Ellen saw the envelope and, thinking it was a tip, she was about to thrust it into her apron pocket when she caught sight of the handwriting. It was familiar. Her heart gave a strange leap in her chest. She opened the envelope and read the letter. Then “Maddy!” She ran out to the road and looked up and down, calling MADDY… Maddy!” There was no sign of her old friend.
Returning to the café, she read and reread the letter, and when Michael came to ask what she was looking at, she quickly folded it up and put it in her handbag. “It’s a tip,” she told him, adding softly, “the most wonderful and generous I’m ever likely to get.”
She looked again up the road, hardly able to speak for the lump straddling her throat. “Thank you, Maddy,” she whispered. “From the bottom of my heart.”
As the tears ran down her face, she quickly turned away. After all, she would not want Michael asking difficult questions, would she?
A week later, after Maddy’s preliminary letter to Raymond, Brad took her to meet with him.
Waiting in the hotel foyer, in the little Cambridgeshire village, Maddy was like a bag of nerves. What would she say? How would she greet her old friend Alice, and had she forgiven her and Raymond for what they had done?
She didn’t know. She could not tell.
Yet when Raymond walked in the door, accompanied by Alice, it was as though the years fell away, and they were back there in the Pink Lady, laughing and talking, with Alice telling her she was “too skinny by half.”
When the two women saw each other, their eyes were moist with emotion. For a seemingly endless moment, they looked at each other each with tears rolling down their faces, soaking in the love and regrets, and slowly the emptiness that had been between them was no more.
Now Alice was close, her arms opened wide to take Maddy into her embrace.
Maddy stood up, hardly able to see for the tears that swam across her vision.
Then Alice held her fast. And the long, aching years were as nothing.
“You’re too skinny by half!” Alice complained. And Maddy laughed out loud.
She had her life back.
More than that, she had Brad.
And her joy was complete.
Acknowledgments
Huge love and acknowledgment to Chloe and Milly.
Two very special little girls.
Also to our two fine sons,
Spencer and Wayne,
and Jane.
Thank you all, for the joy you give me.
About the Author
A major bestselling author in her native Great Britain, JOSEPHINE COX’s story is as extraordinary as anything in her books. At the age of sixteen, she met and married her husband, Ken, and had two sons. When her sons began school, Cox decided to go to college, eventually gaining a place at Cambridge University, which she was unable to accept. Becoming a teacher, she set about renovating a der
elict council house as the family home, coping with the problems of her own mother’s unhappy home life while writing her first full length novel – all of which earned her a Superwoman of Great Britain Award after her family secretly entered her in the contest. Currently living in Bedfordshire, England, she gave up teaching to write full-time and is the author of nearly three dozen novels.
Josephine Cox
***
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