She decided not to reply. She had nothing she wanted to say to him through text. She wanted to hear what he had to say face to face.
A few minutes later her phone pinged again.
“Are you okay?”
Once again she didn’t reply. A few more moment past.
“Ally, I know you are mad at me. Please say something...xx”
Finally she knew what she wanted to say. She typed in her response and pressed send.
“Goodnight.”
She powered off her phone and slipped down beneath the covers and refused to give over to the tears that were fighting no break free. No, she had cried enough. It was high time she remembered the Ally she really was. She closed her eyes and tried her best to sleep but she spent most of the night tossing and turning.
It was a little after nine am when she arrived at her grandparents’ house. She was the first one there. Nan and Pop were surprised to see her alone. She explained that an emergency had come up and Cole had to go back to London, but assured them he would be back in time for dinner.
Both her uncles and their families arrived a little after ten and they were all full of questions about Cole. She reassured them they would find out for their selves once he got here.
They all exchanged gift with each other and Ally couldn’t help but stare at the gift sitting under the tree she had bought for Cole. She tried to appear happy but with each passing minute she could feel her heart grow heavier and heavier. Something was definitely wrong.
She sat and watching the Wizard of Oz with her two youngest cousin, Sofia and Ella while the boys took the remote control monster trucks Ally bought them out to the garden with her uncles and Pop. Her two Aunt’s and Nan were busy working away in the kitchen.
But by the time dinner was ready at one o’clock there as still no sign of him. Everyone watched Ally but no one made any remarks. She could feel the tears begin to pool in her eyes and she was mortified. The feeling of panic was starting take hold of her and she felt like she was suffocating. She excused herself and went to the bathroom and pulled her phone from her pocked and finally switched it back on. There were tons of messages from Cole, as well as from Caitlin and Hannah.
She read down through Cole’s first. He just said again and again how much he loved her and how sorry he was. And how he was going to make this up to her and make everything alright.
She was so sick of hearing that. “I will make everything alright.” She didn’t want him to fix things for her. She just wanted him to stop fucking up in the first place.
After she read Cole’s last text, she opened the first one Caitlin had sent her the night before.
“Oh God Ally, I swear I had no idea, Nathan just let it slip. Are you okay sweets? Call me and let me know you’re okay.”
Ally’s heart began to race. She opened Caitlin next text.
“I swear to god I am going to murder Cole fucking Thomas!!!”
Oh god! Oh god! Ally thought to herself. What have I missed? What am I not seeing?
She was just about to open the next text when her phone began to ring. Cole’s name flashed on the screen. She stared at it for a moment and considered not answering it. But she had to.
“Hello,” was all she could think of to say.
“Ally, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Cole blurted immediately down the phone.
“And what are you sorry for this time, Cole?” Ally said, surprising even herself with the detached coldness in her voice.
“I swear I didn’t want you to find out this way,”
Cole replied.
“Find out what exactly?” Ally snapped. “Because everyone seems to know some big secret. Everyone except me, the woman you are supposed to love.”
“Ally, I do love you” Cole’s voice was filled with panic.
“Well then, feel free to catch me up with everyone else,” Ally shot back. “Because I haven’t a fucking clue what is going on.”
“Haven’t you seen the news?” Cole asked her sounding even more anxious with every passing minute.
“What has the hell has the news got to do with anything?” Ally snapped she was becoming more and more irate.
“So you don’t know?” Cole asked.
“KNOW WHAT?” Ally screamed.
“Ally, I am so sorry,” he whispered. “I am in hospital in London, a maternity hospital. My son was born at two a.m. this morning.”
His son? the words swirled around her head. They seemed so foreign to Ally. Cole had a son??
“I swear I didn’t want you to find out like this,” Cole began to talk quickly trying his hardest to explain. “I tried to tell you but I was so scared you wouldn’t understand. I was going to tell you everything as soon as I got home but someone leaked it to the press. Ally, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
“A... a...are you married?” Ally asked in a calm voice.
“God no!” Cole exclaimed. “Steph was just a girl I knew. We had a one night stand, I don’t even remember it.”
Ally didn’t reply, so Cole continued.
“When Steph turn up and said she was pregnant…” Cole sighed. “Well, I was freaked out. But I will not walk away from my own kid. I told her there was never going to be anything between us. But I promised I would be there for the baby. Ally, he’s my son.”
Ally closed her eyes and pinched back the tears that were now burning her eyes. She tried to steady her breathing.
“Ally, I don’t love her,” Cole whispered. “I love you.”
Ally fought hard to push the sob that was trying to choke her back down inside. She was not going to give him her tears.
“Ally, baby” Cole pleaded. “Please say something.”
“Go to hell,” she replied and calmly as she could before she pressed end on the phone. She dropped it to the floor and buried her face in her hands and let go of her tears and sobbed, her heart breaking into a million piece.
Chapter 25
It’s was Nan who softly tapped on the door of the toilet door. Ally quickly rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and got up an opened the door.
“Ally, pet,” she held out her arms and Ally allowed herself to be pulled tightly into her grandmother’s embrace.
“Oh, Nan,” Ally sobbed. She sobbed because there were no words. Words could not expressed just how heartbroken and devastated she felt right in that moment. She didn’t just lose the love of her life. She had lost her best friend.
In the three and a half short weeks she knew Cole, he had seen her at her very best and her absolute worse, and she loved him more than she thought she could possible love another human begin. He had become her reason to breathe.
“Caitlin is downstairs,” Nan told her when she finally released her from her embraced. “It’s all over the news, about the ‘Billionaire Tycoon and his new son’ ... Ally, sweetheart I know you are upset and hurt. But that boy loves you. That much is clear as the nose on face.”
“But he lied to me, Nan,” Ally replied.
“Not was so much a lie, as an omission,” the older lady tried to reason.
“A lie is a lie,” Ally replied, “You taught me that.”
“When did you get to be so clever, sweetheart?” Nan asked as he brushed the loose strands of hear from her granddaughter face. “We should go back downstairs.”
“Nan, I can’t face anyone,” Ally gave her grandmother a pleading look.
“Okay,” Nan said as she softly rubbed her arms. “I will get your grandfather to drop you home. Go wait by the car.”
“Thank you,” Ally said, hugging her grandmother. “I love you, Nan.”
“I love you too, pet,” her Nan replied. Ally quietly made her way down stairs grabbed her coat and her bag from the hall and quietly let herself out the door.
Her grandfather emerged a few moments later and unlocked his car door.
They drove most of the way to Ally’s apartment in silence. When he pulled up outside, he switched off the engine and turned to Ally.
“Ally, sweetheart,” he began nervously. “I won’t pretend I understand everything that is going on. But I do know love when I see it. That lad loves you. Sure as today is Christmas day. That lad loves every hair on your head. He is not your father, and you are not Rachel. I know things were bad between them, and your father was a hard man to live with. I told her the day she married him it was a mistake. But I think it would be a bigger mistake for you to let this lad walk out of your life.”
“Thank you, Pop,” she said leaning over and kissing her grandfather on the check and gave him a huge smile before she climbed out of the car.
When she walked into her apartment, the memory of the last time she came here filled her mind.
She thought that night was the worst night of her life, she was wrong. She had never felt so lost or alone as she did right in that moment. As she walked further into her apartment, the place she had called home for the last five years, now felt like nothing but sadness and emptiness. She no longer belonged anywhere anymore.
She made her way to the living room and slumped down on to the sofa. The silence of her apartment was broken by the ringing of her mobile phone. It was ringing for about the millionth time in the last hour but she once again let it ring out. She didn’t want to talk to anyone.
She knew it would be Caitlin, Hannah or worse still Cole. She thought of Cole made her heart ache in her chest. And unable to hold back any longer she buried her face in her hands and began to sob.
It was almost nine pm when she heard a knock on her front door. She froze on the sofa. She knew it would be Cole but she really wasn’t ready to face him.
“Ally, please,” he called through the door. “I know you are in there. I went to you grandparent’s house they said I would find you’re here.”
She stood up and slowly walked to the hallway and stopped.
“Ally, please,” Cole begged. “I know I fucked up, I just want to see you are okay, then I will leave if you want me to.”
She slowly walked to the door and softly placed her hand against it. God she wanted to open it so bad and just let him hold her.
“Ally, baby, I love you,” Cole said from the far side of the door. His voice sounded almost muffled and Ally knew he head was press against the door. “Please, please. I need to see you. Please don’t let this ruin what we have. I know you love me. Please… just open the door.”
She reached up and slide the chain back and opened the latch. Slowly she opened the door and finally they were face to face.
Cole looked as bad as she felt but she took no joy from this. They stared at each other for a few moment without saying a word.
“May I come in?” Cole finally said the first one to break the standoff.
Ally stepped back allowing him entrance into the apartment. She closed the door behind him and the followed him towards the living room. He stood nervously watching her, unsure of how this was going to go. She sat on one end of the sofa so he chose the far end of the sofa instead of one of the armchairs.
“Okay, you wanted to talk…” Ally spoke without letting her eyes meet Cole’s. “So talk.”
“Ally, I don’t know where to begin,” Cole replied honestly. “But maybe I should just explain there is nothing going on between and Steph. I have never lied to you about that. I have not cheated on you. I would never cheat on you. I know I should have told you about the baby. His name is Ben…”
Ben...that's a sweet name. Ally's heart ached. She had dreamed about one day of having child with Cole. But now he has a baby, a little boy, Ben, with this Steph woman. His first son. Something Ally could never give him now.
“We were all at a party and I was still trying to get my head around Charlie and Andrew. I was really drunk. When I woke up the next morning Steph was in my bed. I had no memory of what happened.”
Ally closed her eyes tight. Did she really want to hear this?
“I didn’t hear from her for a few weeks,” Cole continued. “Then one day she turned up and said she was pregnant and it was mine. She wanted us to try being a couple but I had no feelings for her at all. I was still shocked I even slept with her to begin with. I told her it was never going to happen. But she became clingy and needy. That was when I decided to come to Ireland for a while.”
Ally quickly glanced over at Cole and his eyes were fixed on her. And her stomach flipped. Why did she have to love him so damn much?
“Last Saturday I was on my way home when I got a call that she was rushed to hospital. That the baby was in trouble.” He said in a rush of words, because this was the hardest part to admit. He was with Steph, while Jason did what he did. He knew that would be hard for her to hear, because it was hard for him to even think about. “I tried to call you but I didn’t want to do it over the phone. So I took the coward’s way out and kept quiet...still. But I swear when I got here on the Sunday I was going to tell you everything, I swear. But when I found you here and after everything, well I just couldn’t.”
“So this is my fault?” Ally snapped finally allowing herself to look at Cole. She stared at him as the tears broke free and spilled down her cheeks. Cole instinctively reach out to comfort her but she quickly jerked back.
“Jesus, Ally,” he said inching closer to her. “Don’t you know what you mean to me? I hate myself for not being honest from the beginning; and even more for not being here that night. I have relived that night again and again. What I could have done differently, and what I should have done different. It’s my fault he had the chance to get to you.”
“Cole,” Ally sobbed the tear now flowing freely. “No matter what happens now, what Jason did is not your fault.”
“Ally, please,” he said closing the distance between them. “I am so sorry, please, I love you so much.”
Ally sobbed harder and Cole pulled her into his arms and held her tightly to him. God he loved her so much.
He held her in his arm until her breathing returned to normal. Relief wash over him as she lay against his chest in a clam comfortable silence. They would get through this. There would be no more secrets. No more ‘crazy exes’. Just him and the love of his life.
Finally, Ally sat up and rubbed her eyes and took and deep, shuddering breath.
“I want you to leave, Cole,” she said when finally allowed her eyes to meet his. His heart almost stopped as panic swept through his body. He thought he was going to throw up.
“I am not going anywhere,” he replied, knowing he could not just simply walk away. He pulled her back into his arms and she began cry once again. “I love you Ally, please, I am begging you, give me a chance. I will make this right. I promise.”
“I can’t,” she whispered and pulled her eyes away from him. “You lied to me, you broke my heart and I just can’t trust you anymore. I already gave you a second chance. Something I told you I don't do. You are asking too much.”
Oh god I am going to lose her, he screamed in panic in his head. Dear Lord, help me.
“Ally, please.” he begged as he dropped to his knees in front of her and she quickly shut her eyes and sobbed harder.
“Don’t. Make. This. Harder, “she sobbed, each word punctuated with a gasp for air, each one like a dagger into his very soul. “Please. I. Am. Begging. You.”
“Ally, sweetheart, I love you,” Cole said as tears pooled in his eyes and quickly broke free, trickling down his handsome face. She opened her eyes briefly and when she saw he was crying, her heart shattered. She quickly pinched her eyes shut and he continued. “You promised you would never leave me. You said you wouldn’t break my heart. I know I have fucked up but please, don’t do this. Don’t leave me, Come home with me. I can’t live without you Ally, please”.
“What the hell did I know?” she snapped back suddenly with angry tears as she sprung to her feet “You lied to me. You lied from the beginning. You knew you were going to destroy me. But you didn’t care. You let me fall in love with you even though you knew you would pull my world apart. I hate you. I hate you fo
r making me love you so god damn much, when you knew you could never be mine.”
Cole could feel the blood drain out of his body. The only words he heard were ‘I hate you’.
“You don’t mean that,” he replied, his heart splintering in his chest. “I know you could never hate me. You are not that cruel. I know you love me. Ally, please.”
“Just leave, Cole,” Ally said her voice suddenly calm and her eye meeting his without blinking. She walked towards the hallway and turned back to Cole and crossed her arms as if to protect herself, protect her heart from him and he couldn’t bear to look at her, bear to look at what he had done to her. With a heavy heart, he stood up, wiped his face with the back of his hands and walked towards her, stopping in front of her.
“I love you, Ally,” he sobbed longing to hold her but he knew she didn’t want that. “I will never stop loving you.”
She didn’t respond. She wouldn’t even look up at him. He leaned forward and his heart ached, as he brushed his lips softly against her face.
“I’m so sorry,” he breathed against her cheek as he briefly allowed his fore head to rest against hers but that was the only contact he made with her body.
Without another word he turned and walked to the front door.
Ally stood rooted to the spot until she heard the apartment door click close.
Ally slumped to the floor, buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
And like that he was gone, and it was over.
To Be Continued...
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
No Second Chances Page 25