by Alison Mello
“No, New Year’s Eve. He was so sweet. He did it in front of our families.”
“Awww,” they gush.
“Listen, I have to run, but we can talk more later,” I tell them, taking off to my classroom.
When I get there, I start putting a few things away and setting up my laptop. I place the new picture I have of Remy and I on my desk, staring at it for just a minute. It was from Christmas day, and we both have the biggest smiles on our faces. You can tell from looking at it that we are happy and in love. My laptop comes to life and I discover I have a few emails to answer, so I get to work, ensuring I’m ready to go when the bell rings shortly.
Once I’m done, I write a welcome back message to my students on the dry erase board and place their morning assignments on their desks. They usually have about fifteen minutes in the morning while they wait for all of the busses to unload, and the students making the morning announcements get settled, so I leave them a worksheet to keep them occupied. Otherwise, they take over the classroom.
Just as I’m finishing, the first round of students start to appear. “Good morning, boys and girls. Please get settled,” I gently remind them. The first day back after vacation is always the toughest, but they do a great job of getting ready for the day.
Once the morning announcements are finished, I give the kids a chance to tell me about anything special they did over Christmas break. One child traveled north on a ski vacation, another met his entire family at Disney World, but most stayed home and were just excited to share what they got for Christmas and what friends they got to see from class. It’s wonderful to see them so animated as they share what they did.
One of my students says, “What did you do over vacation, Ms. McCormick?”
“Well, I spent time with my fiancé and our families, but that’s about it.”
“You’re getting married?” one of the girls questions with excitement.
“Yes, I am. We haven’t decided when yet, but sometime soon I will be married and my name will change.”
“How romantic,” she says, and I can’t help but giggle.
“Okay, enough with the questions. It’s time to move on to actual classwork.”
I get a few grunts and groans, but they quickly settle down when I ask them to pull out their math books and remind them of the pop quiz they took before break.
***
My day is flying by, and I’m absolutely delighted. The children have been great for the first day back, and we’re ready to roll for the week. I’ve just handed out their weekly homework assignments, and they are getting things ready for home. I’m sitting at my desk when there’s a knock at the door. I look up to see Mrs. Bennett and Remy standing there. This can’t be good, neither of them look all too happy.
“Class, finish getting your things ready for home. The bell will be ringing any minute now.”
I step out into the hallway. “What’s wrong?”
“Come on, we have to go,” Remy says.
“What are you talking about? Go where? I can’t just leave my classroom.”
“They’ll be taken care of. Nana’s in the hospital and it doesn’t look good, Kenzie.”
Tears well in my eyes. “Will you shut down my laptop for me?”
“Yes, go.” I run into the class.
“Class, I have an emergency. Mrs. Bennett will be getting you to the bus today. Behave yourselves, and I will see you all soon.” I grab my things and run out the door. Remy is waiting for me. He takes my hand, and we rush down the hall and out the school’s front door.
When we get outside, the principal is standing there, but she says nothing. She simply gives me a warm smile that tells me things are good. I’m panicking on the inside. All I can think about is hurrying to the hospital, and Remy isn’t driving fast enough. Staring out the window, I begin to think about all the wonderful memories I’ve had with Nana, and how glad I am I came back home to my roots. At least I got to spend more time with her, even if she didn’t remember who I was part of the time. A lone tear escapes me as I realize she thought I was my mom more than she realized I was me, but her words of wisdom and listening to her share her thoughts and stories made me so much stronger.
We pull up to the hospital, and the valet is at the door, handing Remy a ticket as he steps out of the car. We run straight inside, but when I start heading to the reception desk to ask where Nana is, Remy takes my hand and pulls me toward the elevators. I look at him confused. “My father gave me her room number.” A small smile spreads across my face. I’m thankful to him and his family. He’s my rock right now, and I have to remember to lean on him in my time of need.
When we step into the elevators and the doors close, I wrap my arms around him tight. “Thank you, Remy.”
“You have nothing to thank me for, sweet pea.”
“Yes I do. You’re my strength right now, and you’re here with me. You’re not letting me go through this alone, the way Daniel would have. That means so much to me.”
“I love you and will forever be here for you.” The elevator doors open, then he takes my hand and leads me toward her room. When we get there, Dr. Bennett is inside checking on Nana.
“How is she? What happened? Where is Aunt Kenderly?”
“Let’s step outside a minute,” he says.
“She’s holding on by a thread, but it’s not looking good. She won’t answer too many of my questions, and I’m not sure if she doesn’t know the answer or if she’s being stubborn, so we’ve begun running some tests to see if we can figure out more. She’s very weak, and her shaking has gotten worse. The next twenty-four hours are critical.” I nod. “I’m sorry, Kenzie, but I’m not sure she has much fight left in her.” He sighs. “As far as what happened, Emily got to the house today and she didn’t like the way she was looking, but she was hoping once she got her up and fed she would improve. Nana refused to get up, so she fed her breakfast in bed. She ate all of two bites and pushed it away. Emily said as the day went on she began to get weaker and started to struggle breathing. She finally decided to call me and then nine-one-one to get an ambulance to the house.”
I let out a deep breath, looking to the floor trying to compose myself. “It’s hard to keep up the fight when you feel lost and lonely. Is my aunt on her way?”
“Yes, she informed us she was going to the house to get her some of her own pajamas to wear while she’s here. She complaining she’s cold.”
“Yeah, she’s been saying that for a few weeks now. If it’s all right, I’d like to go in and visit with her.”
“Absolutely,” he says to me, giving my arm a slight squeeze.
I turn to Remy, and he says, “Go on, I’ll give you a minute alone with her, and I’ll be right there.”
I take one last calming breath before walking into her room. She’s lying in her bed awake, with an oxygen tube in her nose, machines all around her. She’s staring at the TV, but she doesn’t look like she’s really watching it. “What are you doing in this hospital?” I ask her with a small smile so she’ll know I’m teasing her.
“Hospital?” she questions.
“Yeah, you don’t know where you are?”
“No,” she says flatly.
“Nana, you’re in the hospital. Doctor Bennett is trying to figure out what’s going on, but he says you’re not telling him how you’re feeling or if anything is wrong.”
A tear runs down her face. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m tired and I just want to sleep,” she snaps at me. It stings a bit. Nana never snaps at anyone.
“Shh, it’s okay. You sleep, and I’ll be here for you when you wake.” I run my fingers through her hair trying to calm her. Her eyelids are heavy, and though she seems to fight sleep for a minute, she gives in. Another tear runs from her closed eyes. I grab a tissue from her hospital table and gently dab it away as I continue to slip my fingers through her overgrown white hair. She looks so peaceful in this moment. She’s relaxed and calm, and her breathing has evened so
I know she’s in a deep sleep.
Remy slips an arm around my back. “Did she say anything?”
I shake my head, and tears begin running down my face. “I’m going to lose her, Remy.”
“Come here.” He wraps both arms around me. I press my face to his chest and silently sob as she sleeps. I’m so glad he’s with me right now, because I need him. I need his strength because mine has slipped away.
My aunt and uncle walk in a minute later. “Is she all right?” they ask in a panic when they see me upset.
“Yeah, she’s sleeping, but it doesn’t look good. She didn’t know she was in the hospital, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t remember getting here,” I tell my aunt and uncle.
“What’s your plan?” my aunt asks me.
“I’m staying here for a bit to visit with her and see how she’s doing. I’m hoping to hear back from Dr. Bennett on the tests they ran, but he didn’t specify when they would know anything,” I tell them.
“Why don’t I run out and get us some dinner? Then we can eat here and relax while we wait to see if she wakes up again tonight, or if we get any results,” Remy suggests.
“That would be great, love. Thank you.” He takes our requests for subs. There’s a small shop up the street, so it’ll be quick and easy.
“I need to call the principal and let her know what is going on, and that I will need a sub for tomorrow. I’ll be back,” I tell them, walking out the door to the family waiting room so I don’t disturb my nana.
As I’m approaching the waiting room, my future mother-in-law comes walking in. “How is she?” she asks, full of concern.
“She’s hanging in there. I was just about to call the school to arrange for a sub for tomorrow. I need to be here, in case something happens.”
“I already took care of it. I spoke to Mrs. Sherman on my way out. I told her everything. She said to let you know she will find you coverage and to let her know when you’ll be back in.”
“Thank you so much,” I tell her as a tear runs down my face.
“Oh, you sweet girl, come here.” She wraps me in a hug and it’s my undoing.
I begin to sob all over again. “Why am I losing all of my family? Aunt Kenderly and Uncle Jasper are all I have left.”
She pulls me away, taking my face in her hands. “That’s not true, you sweet girl. You’re going to become a Bennett, and that gives you a ton of family. You need to remember family is linked by more than blood. You have tons of people around you who love and support you and that’s just as good, sometimes better, than any family linked by blood.”
I hug her again. “Thank you so much, Mama.” We stay like that for what feels like forever.
We finally pull away when we hear that wonderful voice I love so much. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, come on, let’s go eat.”
He takes my hand, and we all walk toward Nana’s room with the bags of food.
Remy got sandwiches for everyone, including his parents. I didn’t even realize his father was still here. He had been keeping an eye out for x-rays and other test results, but we haven’t heard anything yet.
We’re all sitting around eating our dinner when Nana sits up coughing, struggling for breath. Dr. Bennett jumps into action, listening to her lungs. He shakes his head and walks out to the nurse’s station. When he returns he says, “Her lungs are getting worse. I fear it’s pneumonia. I just ordered antibiotics to be given through her IV.”
A few minutes after the meds are given, she settles again and falls back to sleep. It’s starting to get late and we’re all getting tired. A yawn escapes me, and Dr. Bennett says, “Why don’t you go home and get some rest? I have it set up so that the hospital will contact you immediately if there are any changes and they think you need to get here.”
“Thank you so much,” I tell him as I give him a hug. Remy shakes his hand, and we say our goodbyes to everyone else. Just before we leave, I give Nana a kiss on the head and ask her to hang in there.
Chapter 28
Remy
I’m half-asleep when I realize the house phone is ringing. When I look to my right, I see Kenzie is sound asleep beside me. It is a little after three o’clock in the morning. I take a deep breath before answering the phone, because at this time of the morning it can only mean one thing. I quickly answer it. “Hello?”
“This is East Bay Hospital calling. Is McKenzie McCormick available?”
“One minute.” I rub the sleep from my eyes.
“Kenzie.” I shake her awake. She jumps up alert, with fear in her eyes.
“It’s the hospital, sweet pea,” I say with a sympathetic look, handing her the phone. I can see she’s now visibly shaking as panic takes over.
“Hello?” Her voice is tired and shaky.
“Ms. McCormick, this is Nurse Sandy. I’m really sorry to tell you this, but I need you to get to the hospital. Your grandmother is not doing well, and we fear she won’t be with us much longer.”
“I’m on my way.” She hands me the phone and jumps out of bed without saying a word to me. She’s digging in drawers grabbing clothes.
“What is it?” I ask her, jumping out of bed to grab clothes of my own.
“Nana isn’t doing well. They fear we’re going to lose her soon.” Her tears begin to fall as she stumbles around the room.
It takes us no more than ten minutes to get what we need and run out the door. I jump in the driver’s seat of my Audi and start the car. Kenzie is visibly shaking, and her teeth are chattering, so I adjust the temperature and take off. I’m happy to see the roads are clear, due to the time of night. I feel helpless, but I begin rubbing her leg trying to show her some form of comfort as we hope for the best. We make it to the hospital in about fifteen minutes. We both jump out of the car, leaving it with the valet, and run through the hospital straight to her nana’s room. Kenzie slows just outside the door, taking a deep breath, then says, “Let’s go,” and she slowly walks into the room. Her aunt and uncle are already standing by her bed as her nana struggles to breathe.
Kenzie runs straight over to her grandmother’s side. “Oh, Nana, I’m here. We’re all here, Nana.” Tears stream down her face, and it breaks me. I take my place at her side wrapping an arm around her, trying to comfort her in her time of need. I can see from the pained look on her face she wants to say more, but she’s afraid. Kenzie and her aunt look at one another, like they know what one other’s thinking. The both give a small nod and look back down to Nana.
Kenzie takes a deep breath and through her sobs she says, “It’s okay, Nana. We know you’re suffering. You can go now and be at peace. I have Remy to take care of me, and Aunt Kenderly has Uncle Jasper.” She tries to wipe away her tears.
“We don’t want you to suffer any more, Mom,” her aunt says through her tears, slowly rubbing her fingers through her hair. Jasper is by her side trying to comfort her as she sobs.
Both Kenzie and Kenderly try to comfort her and tell her it’s okay if she wants to give up. Kenzie is holding her hand, telling her how lucky she is to have found me. Reminding her that it’ll be okay, but suddenly Kenzie gasps as a realization hits her.
“What is it?” I ask her.
“She’s waiting for Mom.” Kenzie sobs harder and repeats, “She’s waiting for Mom.” She leans over the bed and tells her grandmother, “Mom, it’s me, Joanne. I know you’ve been holding on for me to get here. It’s okay. I’m here with you. You can go now.” She kisses her on the temple and adds, “We’re all here for you.”
Her grandmother’s body starts to relax. She takes a few more breaths, then a small hiccup escapes her. Her body goes limp, and the heart monitor starts to flat line, telling us she’s gone. Everyone begins to cry even harder, including me. I not only shed tears for the love of my life who is now suffering this loss, but for a woman I was lucky enough to know. I didn’t get much time with her, but in the short time I was with her, she was a sweet and caring woman. She reminded me a lot of my nana,
and I will miss them both dearly.
Kenzie turns into my arms and sobs into my chest for this amazing woman she cared so deeply for, and I feel horrible that in this moment all I can do is rub her back and hold her close. I wish I could erase her pain. I slowly rock her toward the chair behind me, because I know the doctors will be in any minute. They have documents they need to take care of, and they can only give her so much time with her grandmother.
I feel a set of eyes on us and when I look up, it’s to see my father standing in the doorway with a clipboard in his hand. He’s giving them as much space as he can, but still writing what he needs to in her file. He gives them another minute, and then he comes in to pay his respects to Kenzie and her family. “If there’s anything my wife or I can do, please do not hesitate to ask,” he tells Kenzie, as well as her aunt and uncle. He asks them if they would like more time.
Kenzie says, “I just want to say goodbye one last time.” As I hold her, she takes the few short steps to the bed and says, “I love you so much, Nana. Thank you for all you have done for me. I will never forget you.” She kisses her on the head and slowly walks away, giving her aunt the space to do the same. Once they have both said their final goodbyes, we tell him we’re all set and we leave the room. Kenderly signs a few things on the way out, and invites us to her house for coffee and to start working on all the arrangements.
When we arrive, both women are moving around the kitchen like a well-trained team. Neither will allow Jasper or I to help. They’re making coffee and pulling muffins and breakfast Danish from the cupboards to place on the table. Kenzie is grabbing coffee cups, sugar, and creamer while Kenderly grabs the coffee pot, and though they are both moving with efficiency, we can see they are hurting.
Aunt Kenderly and Kenzie take a seat next to one another, with me and Uncle Jasper on either side of them at her aunt’s kitchen table. It’s about five o’clock in the morning, and these two amazing women are making a list of things they need to do for the service. They are running on autopilot, but they are focused and both look determined.