by M. K. Claeys
I can’t believe Mitzy has four brothers and sisters. Sara Lynn drives me up the wall, and Martin is so much older that he really didn’t count, but still. Four. Soon to be five. I could never handle that. Although if Martin was as close to my age and as good-looking as Robert, I would have never left home. Because I would have been too busy beating all the girls off with sticks.
I mean, seriously. He took his hat off to introduce himself. I mean, it couldn’t have been more perfectly stereotypically southern unless it had been a cowboy hat, but I’ll take the baseball cap any day. And his hair—wow. It was longer, a bit darker blonde than Mitzy’s, and deliciously curly. It took all I had not to ask him if I could just run my fingers through it. I just wish my hair looked like that. Mine is just plain old brown, although now after seeing Robert’s hair, I might let Ryn put highlights in it like she’s been bugging me about since October. I think, though, what made me feel the most comfortable with Robert was his eyes. They were just like Mitzy’s, so when I looked at him, I felt as if I’d already known him for six months.
Mitzy’s house was insane, if by insane you understood that I meant completely amazing to the point where you couldn’t fathom just how beautiful it was, so you think that you’ve gone temporarily off your rocker and imagined it all up in some schizophrenic fit. Billy showed me all around the passages and even an abandoned stall in the back of the barn where he’d hidden a litter of kittens. I love kittens! They were all so cute and soft, and a little white one with black feet and ears seemed to be quite taken with me. I so wanted to take one home.
I wonder if we could hide it in our room. I’d better call Ryn and ask. Maybe she’ll want a kitten, and then they can play with each other while we’re at class.
After Billy’s tour, Robert took me back out to the barn to see the rope swing he and Mitzy had told me about. The hayloft was a lot more intimidating than I’d expected. First, you had to climb up this rickety old twenty-foot ladder while carrying the rope with you, and then once you got to the top, you had to grab onto the very end of the rope and jump off. But see, the rope was tied to this huge beam on the roof of the barn, and it was the thought of the beam breaking, not to mention the fifteen-foot drop before the rope would finally swing, that frightened me.
Robert carried the rope up and swung down to show me the drill, but I made him do it at least five times before I would even climb up the ladder, just to make sure it was safe.
“You’re sure it won’t break?” I asked, gripping the rope for dear life as I peered over the edge of the loft.
“Rae, don’t be silly. I’ve got at least fifty pounds on you and it didn’t snap on me, now, did it?”
“No.”
“Well, what are you waiting for? Christmas?” he teased. I glared at him. “If it makes you feel better, you can sit on the edge of the loft and scoot off.” He paused and then added with an evil smirk, “That’s what all the little kids do.”
I stepped to the edge, took one look at him, stuck out my tongue, and jumped. Okay, so I screamed bloody murder the entire way down, but when I hit the hay pile, I was laughing my head off. I made my way back up the ladder and passed the rope off to Robert. “God, Mitzy totally doesn’t know what she’s missing.”
We swung for over an hour before Mitzy and Billy came out to get us for dinner. I was covered in hay, but I didn’t care. I’d had the time of my life. And it certainly didn’t hurt that Robert helped me pick it out of my hair before we went back in the house. What a gentleman!
“So Mitzy tells me that you play the guitar,” Bonnie remarked during dinner. “Is that true?”
I carefully wiped my mouth with my napkin, making as sure as I could that there was no food in my teeth before I answered.
“Yes, ma’am, I do, but I didn’t bring it with me. I also play the piano, but I haven’t been able to sit down to one since Christmas.” Mitzy gave me the eye. “Well, only once in a great while. We found an old beat-up piano in the ground-floor study lounge of the dormitory, and I play that sometimes.”
“That’s just peaches! If you’d like to play ours, you just go right ahead, dear. Jeff used to play for me when we first got married, but I think now the only reason the piano gets dusted is for the tours. It’d be nice if it actually got used for once.”
“Sure, Bonnie. That would be great, although I’m not very good, so I’ll apologize in advance if my tinkering gets on your nerves.”
“Oh, come now, Rae,” said Mr. Callaway. “I’m sure you play just fine. And if not, we can always close the door or bolt the lid shut,” he joked.
After dinner was through and the younger kids had sat to finish their homework, Mitzy took me to the library, where the piano rested. And I mean literally rested. If it weren’t for the tours, I was positive it would have been caked in a layer of dust. I wasn’t sure why Mitzy and Robert went and sat in the parlor, but I didn’t mind. I figured they just wanted some time to catch up while I was preoccupied and Mitzy didn’t have to play hostess. I would have to have a serious talk with her to let her know that she didn’t need to spend every waking moment with me if she didn’t want to. She was home for the first time since Christmas. I was sure she had things she’d want to do on her own. As for her and Robert leaving the room, well, I didn’t really like having people hover over me while I played anyway. I ran through a few simple warm-up exercises, inwardly shuddering at how the piano desperately needed to be tuned, and then just lost myself in the music. For some reason, I always felt better after playing my guitar or the piano. It was like the pain just flowed out through my fingers or something.
Everything that had happened during and after Christmas break ran through my head, and it felt so nice to have the chance to let it run out of my mind while the hurt wasn’t so fresh. I played and played, and before I knew it, I was singing to myself, just like I used to at home.
* * *
Now you come back and look for me,
Now you come back and say you’re ready,
But you can preach to another choir
Because I’ve cried enough over you.
* * *
All my thoughts and all my Brianams,
All I could think of was your face,
But you can dream of me by yourself
Because I’ve cried enough over you.
* * *
You drove me mad,
You drove me wild,
You drove me out of my head.
* * *
You said you loved me.
You left me out to dry.
You lied about it all.
* * *
Time I’ve wasted and time I’ve lost,
Time and time again you weren’t there,
But you can sit and wait forever
Because I’ve cried enough over you
* * *
Cried all night you told me,
Cried and cried and couldn’t stop,
But you can cry the whole night through
Because Lord knows I’ve cried enough over you.
* * *
I’ve cried enough over you.
* * *
Thursday morning I woke up to find that everyone in the house, other than Robert and me, was gone. Mitzy had left me a note saying she’d gone into town to pick up her dad’s dry cleaning and have coffee with an old student she used to tutor in French, and Bonnie had gone in to volunteer at the local art gallery. I dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and clogs, went downstairs and helped myself to some cereal, and prepared to make my way out to the loft to do some reading. The loft at Mitzy’s house had turned into something like my own personal sanctuary while I was there, and when I was done moping about and daydreaming up there, I could always cuddle a kitten.
It’s kind of like the hot spring at home, only more barn-smelling instead of sulfur.
Stopping by Harley’s stall, I petted the big jersey cow. She was such a sweet thing. Billy had even let me milk her the day before while he milked Porsche, and then he’d sh
owed me how to groom the horses. I’d done White Russian, the black mare, mimicking all his brushstrokes, while he did Black Velvet, the white stallion. I’d told Bonnie he let me help him because I’d begged, although it was more like he was letting me do his chores for him. But I didn’t care. I’d never milked a cow or curry-combed a horse before. I found it to be great fun.
I grabbed my abnormal psychology book and was more than halfway up the ladder before I realized I had forgotten to grab the rope to get back down. Sighing to myself, I used my book to help maintain balance and carefully looked down at the rung below me before I began backing my way down the ladder. Harley mooed.
God, my head hurts.
I woke up to find Mitzy sitting at the foot of my bed, reading a book.
“Oh, Rae, you’re awake, thank the Lord! How did this happen?!”
“I don’t know, really. I can’t remember. I had breakfast. Yes… So I had breakfast and went to the barn, and I fell off the ladder. I think I remember falling. I don’t really remember much after that.”
Robert came in the room with some soup. “Hi, Rae. You feelin’ better?”
“I think so. My head hurts a lot. What happened?”
And Robert relayed the whole story back to me, even the part where I threw up in the waiting room, told the nurse she should get pink shoes like Mitzy’s to match her scrubs, and proclaimed to the doctor that I liked to cuddle the kittens that Billy had hidden in the barn. I started to remember a little as he was talking, but most of what he said was all new to me, as if he were telling me a story about some other idiot who had fallen off a ladder in their barn.
“I really did all that? God, I made an ass out of myself, didn’t I?”
“It’s all right, Rae,” Mitzy assured me, patting my knee through the blanket, “you didn’t know what you were saying.”
“I don’t remember them asking me all those questions.”
“They were askin’ a ton,” scoffed Robert. “They thought I was your boyfriend and I had beaten you up.”
“They what?” Mitzy cried.
“No way!” I said. “They did not!”
“They did.”
“Ooh…” I lay back down. “That’s awkward.”
Not to mention super embarrassing. I’m going to go ahead and let him think I don’t remember.
But the truth was, as the days went by on the rest of my spring break, I did start to remember. I remembered waking up wondering where I was as I looked up at a ceiling. I was in the barn at Mitzy’s house. Sitting up slowly, I felt the back of my head, and when I took my hand away, it was covered in blood. I started to push myself up off the floor of the barn, but the room was spinning and looking mighty fuzzy. I waited, trying to go over in my mind what had happened.
I don’t remember. I ate breakfast, came out to the barn, and then nothing.
I looked up at the ladder, trying to figure out if I’d fallen off it, but the ladder was swimming through my vision. I tried to get up again, and somehow I managed. I made my way back to the house in my stockinged feet, clutching the back of my head, trying to stop the bleeding. I was trying really, really hard not to cry, but my head hurt so badly. I let myself in the back kitchen door and found Robert sitting down to breakfast.
“Morning, Rae. How’d you sle—good Lord, Rae, are you all right?” Robert pushed himself away from the table and came over to my side, pulling my blood-soaked hand away from my head. “What happened?” he asked, grabbing one of the pretty embroidered hand towels off the rack and pushing it against the back of my skull.
“I’m…not sure? I think I fell off the ladder.”
“How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Including or excluding thumbs? Because thumbs aren’t really fingers, you know, Robert.”
“Look at me, Rae.”
I groaned aloud. “Which one of you?”
“That’s it. Sit down at the table. I’m going to get your shoes, and then we’re takin’ you to the doctor’s.”
“No, that’s okay, Robert, really,” I said, patting him on the arm.
Ooh, his forearm feels pretty strong. All warm and strong and tan. Nice, strong arms that would feel so good around me.
“I think I’m going to go read my book now. I’ve got to study.” I hoped he wouldn’t see me flushing about the things I had just thought about him. I glanced around as Robert tried to get me to sit down at the kitchen table. “Do you know where I left my book?” I asked, stumbling around the kitchen as if I would find it lying on the counter. “It’s the big green one with the picture of Skinner on the cover. I should go get it. It was expensive.” I looked at Robert again. “He had curly hair just like you, you know. But his head was a lot bigger.”
“Rae, I said sit down. If I come back and you’re not sitting down, I’m going to be very upset with you.”
“Okay,” I huffed, my eyes welling up as I sat in the proffered chair. “God, I don’t know why you’re so mad about it. I didn’t do anything wrong.” Robert looked stung for a moment, but then he ran out of the kitchen. I rubbed my head on top of the towel, tears starting to run down my cheeks. “Ow.”
Well, at least he’s not here to see me cry. I hate crying in front of people.
“Here,” he said softly, handing me an ace bandage after he rushed back into the room. “Hold this for a minute.”
“All right. If I do, will you not be mad at me anymore?”
“Rae, I’m not mad at you. Just sit still, okay? Can you put your shoes on?” he asked, holding a pair of pink sneakers out in front of me.
“Those are Mitzy’s shoes,” I complained, attempting to dry my eyes inconspicuously with my free hand. “My shoes are… You know, I don’t know where my shoes are. They must be with my book. Hold on, and I’ll go get them.” I started to stand up, but Robert gently pushed me back down.
“You’re not going anywhere. Sit still.” And he proceeded to put Mitzy’s shoes on my feet, tie them, and then stand up and secure the towel to my head with the bandage I had been fiddling with.
“Come on now, Rae, stand up. We’re going to walk to the car.”
We did, and I threw up in one of the bushes adjacent to the front porch. Robert grabbed me the trash can from the downstairs bathroom, took me to the truck, and belted me in.
“Are you gonna be all right?” I threw up some more (this time in the bucket), but Robert didn’t even flinch as my half-ingested breakfast spattered on the bottom of the trash can. He just shifted gears and looked sympathetically at me. “We’ll be there as soon as I can get us there, so just hold on.”
While we were in the waiting room, Robert called Mitzy’s cell phone to let her know what had happened and where we were. I had emptied out my trash can into a sewer in the parking lot, but I’d brought it with me into the emergency clinic, much to the disgust of the lady in the pink scrubs behind the desk. We didn’t wait long to be called in, as far as I could recall, and the nice doctor sat me down and helped the nurse wash the blood out of my hair around the wound while he examined my head. They asked me all sorts of questions—the date, my name, how old I was, and my birthday.
“So how did this happen, little lady?”
“I was at the house, well it’s really a mansion, with Robert, and—” I didn’t get much further before I threw up again, and it wasn’t much use talking anyway because I wasn’t sure that I remembered everything.
“Can’t you just stitch her up and give her some pain medication?” Robert cried, fretfully. “Look at her, she’s hurting!”
The doctor just ignored him and checked the dilation of my pupils while the nurse continued questioning me. “You were saying, ma’am? You were alone with Robert, and then what happened?”
“Harley. Not Robert. In the barn. I was in the barn.” I started heaving again.
“There’s a Harley in the barn? Did you fall off it?”
“Harley’s our cow!” yelled Robert.
“Sir,” admonished the nurse, “please calm
down, or we’re going to have to ask you to wait outside.”
“I like the cow. She’s cute. I milked a cow yesterday!” I could remember that much.
“Do you want your boyfriend to step out so we can examine you in private, honey?” asked the nurse softly. “You can tell me. You’re safe here, sweetie.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” cried Robert. “That’s what you’re on about? I would never hit her, or anyone for that matter! For Chrissakes, she fell off a ladder in the barn!”
“Sir, we’d like to hear what the young lady has to say,” said the nurse calmly as she moved out of the way for the doctor to test my reflexes. “So you were alone with the motorcycle and your boyfriend, right ma’am?”
“Harley the cow in the barn. And I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“He’s not your boyfriend?” she asked, indicating Robert.
“Ha-ha. No. That’s Robert. He’s too cute to be my boyfriend, though. Looks like his sister, my friend Mitzy. Kinda wish he was my boyfriend,” I prattled, “because he’s real nice to me and stuff.” I wobbled on the examination table as I pointed to Mitzy’s shoes. “See? He even tied my shoes for me. Chivalry, ’rous…” I heaved into my trash can again. “Ooh, I had Cheerios for breakfast. See? There they are, floating around.”
The nurse turned to Robert. “She fell off a ladder in the barn, you said?”
“Yes! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time!”
“All right, honey,” said the doctor, looking up from my head again, “just sit still, okay? We’ll have you fixed up in no time.” He smiled apologetically at Robert. “We have to check. You understand, right, my good man?”