by Lex Martin
I press my palms into my eyes as panic sets in. The holidays are honestly the last thing on my mind, but maybe I need to slow down and put a little effort into this for Izzy’s sake. She might not remember opening gifts, but some day I can show her pictures, and maybe that will be meaningful for her.
This is the year she lost her parents, asshole. Of course it’ll be meaningful.
As always, Katherine is ten steps ahead of me. I hardly know which way my sorry ass is headed, but she just gets what needs to be done and keeps me afloat.
I’m supposed to work tonight and tomorrow, but as I stare at the tree, I’m wondering if that’s the right thing to do. Each night I miss Kat and Izzy like I left my fucking lungs at home.
I’ve been vacillating between wanting to give Kat a holiday bonus and buying her a present. She might need the money, but I have a sneaking suspicion she’ll think I’m a dick if I hand her a check. I really want to buy her something nice, but I wonder if that would send the wrong message.
Fuck it.
I pick up the phone. For once, I’m not going to overthink this. I’m going to give her the gift. Because even if we’re in this weird limbo place, I think of her as my friend. My best friend, actually. And I want her to know that she means something to me.
Ten minutes later, I’m feeling a little better about life. I sit next to Izzy, who mashes a banana all over her face.
“You know this is supposed to go in your mouth?”
“In yo mowth!” she giggles before she tosses her sippy cup onto the floor where the lid pops off and juice goes everywhere.
I stare at the juice puddle as it spreads.
Yeah, this parent stuff is definitely not as easy as my mom and dad made it seem growing up.
After I clean up the mess, I grab my phone to thank Kat for decorating the tree when an incoming call from my realtor makes me freeze.
Because I already know why he’s calling. And it hits my gut like a boulder.
50
Katherine
Jaycee nudges me out of the way to pin some mistletoe over the doorway of the diner.
I poke her in the ribs. “You’re gonna regret that if Old Man Johnson comes in here and tries to plant a wet one on you.”
She makes a gagging sound and laughs. “Maybe, but I won’t complain if those kisses come from the Walker twins.”
“Perv,” I tease.
She holds a hand over her heart and closes her eyes dramatically. “And damn proud of it.”
Being at work, being busy and chatting with the girls, is making me feel better. I don’t know why I was so emotional last night. I should’ve just waited until Brady was done with his customer to say hello. It’s not like he was cheating on me, for God’s sake.
Honestly? I took this shift today to get out of the house, to get some space and perspective. I was still feeling miffed last night and needed a reason to get away. Which I know is totally immature, but I didn’t want to have to face him before I’d found a little balance.
We just need a night to hang out, and everything will be fine. The man is working himself to the bone. The least I can do is have some patience and stop feeling like a scorned girlfriend.
The cheery holiday music is helping me chill out. Everyone is so dang chipper around here today, it’s contagious. Carol handed out Santa hats this morning, and we’re all wearing red and white.
After refilling someone’s coffee, I’m passing through when a guy in Jaycee’s section opens his briefcase and papers spill all over the floor.
“Shoot,” he mumbles.
“I got it.” Leaning down, I pick up the fliers, which feature full-color photos of houses and properties. I apologize for the one I step on.
He gives me a wide smile. “Honestly, nothing could put me in a bad mood today.”
“I think the holiday mood is rubbing off because I’m starting to feel the same way.” I point at his stack of properties. “Are you a lawyer or a realtor?”
“Realtor.” He laughs. “I hate lawyers.”
Grinning, I motion toward his cup. “Want some coffee?”
“Absolutely.”
I’m filling his mug when my eyes land on the paper in his hand. Which features a photo of a farm. Mel’s farm.
“Whoa!” he yells, and I yank the coffee pot away.
“Oh, God. I’m so sorry.” I’ve overfilled his cup, and coffee runs in rivulets across the table. I reach for the napkins in the dispenser and try to sop up the mess. “I feel terrible. Breakfast is on me.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. I just landed the biggest deal of the year, and I don’t think anything can ruin it for me.”
A lump forms in my throat. “Yeah?” I motion toward his stack of papers. Please let it be a different property. “Which”—I clear my throat—“which house?”
He waves his hand. “This little old farm is gonna buy my kids a pool for Christmas.” I listen in shock as he says a buyer came out of nowhere and made an amazing offer. Doesn’t want to haggle. Just wants to close. On our farm.
“That’s… that’s great.” My voice comes out barely above a whisper.
“Seriously, hun, don’t worry about the coffee.”
I force my lips up into a smile. “Congrats on your deal. Your client must be ecstatic.”
My heart crumbles as he taps the table and barks with a laugh, “He was absolutely speechless!”
51
Katherine
I’m not sure how long I drive along the winding backwoods road, but by the time I get home, it’s dark.
Home.
A maniacal laugh spills out of me. Oh, God. Brady and Izzy are leaving. This won’t be home for long.
And this really has been home for me. Melissa made sure it was. When we were kids, we’d sit under the big oak and talk about boys, and she’d tell me about her crushes and first kiss. It’s where she told me I’d fall in love some day with the perfect boy, someone who would love and cherish me. Because that’s what she believed she’d find some day. And she did.
The driveway blurs behind my tears that I blink away. Deep breaths.
I pull up behind Brady’s Harley, wishing I could get my emotions under control. I should let him tell me. He’ll probably be all professional and distant. Well, more distant than he’s been this week.
Maybe I’m jumping the gun. Just because someone made an offer doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going to take it, right?
The knot in my stomach tightens. The farm is a helluva lot of work. And he hasn’t even been through a harvest yet.
I know I’m selfish for wanting him to stay. His life is in Boston. It’s where he belongs. Not here in the middle of no man’s land.
As much as I love working on the farm, it’s not like I’ll have a job here once Brady sells it.
The idea of heading back to Corpus looking like a failure, after all my parents sacrificed to help me get through college, makes me nauseous.
I think about Congressman Mitchell’s offer last spring. He liked what I did for Eric’s dad. Mitchell wanted me on his team.
But do I really want this? To head back to Austin? I don’t even have clothes to wear if he calls to interview me. It's not like I can waltz into his office in torn Levis and cowboy boots.
Reaching into the back seat, I grab a beat-up box of tissues, conveniently tucked away from the last time I got my ass handed to me.
The slam of a car door makes me wipe my face quickly and look around. On the opposite side of the house, a figure walks toward my car. Squinting, I make out a dark polo and shiny watch.
Oh hell, no.
I jump out of the car. “What the hell are you doing here, Eric? You do realize stalking is illegal, right?”
My ex-boyfriend laughs. “Glad to see you’ve missed me, Katherine.”
He studies me, and the surprise is written all over his face. Yes, I work at a diner.
I untie my apron that I forgot to take off before I left the rest
aurant and toss it on the porch. Of all the times for him to see me, I wish it weren’t when I smelled like chicken-fried steak and grease, looking like I’ve been bawling my eyes out.
Of course, he looks like an Abercrombie model. Superbly styled. Not a hair out of place. Asshole.
“Baby, I’ve missed you. Come home.”
I roll my eyes. “You missed me?”
“I’ve been trying to contact you for fucking months. Of course I missed you.”
“Too little, too late, Romeo,” I snark as I head for the front door. As I unlock the door, I turn back to glare because he’s right on my heels. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
He motions toward the house. “I figured you’d let me in, and we’d sit down and discuss this like two responsible adults.”
“Responsible?” I laugh. “So you’re responsible now?”
“Don’t be like that. You knew I’d come around.”
I open the front door and put my hand on his chest to keep him back. “Stay here. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He smells like expensive cologne and leather. God, I used to love how he smelled. Now it reminds me that words are meaningless. What is it they say? That tough times reveal a man’s true character? Well, Eric failed the test. Epically.
His eyebrow quirks up. “You’re really not going to let me into the house?” He runs a hand through his blond hair, looking perplexed.
“I realize you’re not accustomed to people denying you anything, but no, you’re not coming in this house.”
He snickers, and the sound makes me contemplate strangling him.
“What’s so funny?”
“Get your cute self out here, and I’ll tell you.” He glances at his watch. “Hurry, though. I have a conference call in half an hour.”
“Of course you do.” How did I date this asshole for a year and a half? I grit my teeth and point to the porch. “Stay.” Then I slam the door in his face.
Brady pokes his head out of the office as I storm into the kitchen, but I ignore him as I march toward the liquor cabinet and pour a tumbler of whiskey. My nerves are shot, and I seriously need to calm down to deal with Eric.
“Are you okay?” Brady’s voice is raspy, like he’s been sleeping.
A few gulps later, and I’m gasping from the fire shooting down my throat.
“I’m fine,” I choke out.
Finally, I face him, and I might be on the brink of losing it, but I’m not so far gone that I don’t notice how beautiful he looks standing shirtless in the middle of the kitchen with his jeans hanging low on his hips.
He scratches the stubble on his chin and lifts his eyebrows. “You don’t look fine.”
Blowing out a breath, I shrug. “I’ve had a bad day.”
“Is that why you’re home late? Guess it’s good I cancelled my shift tonight.”
“Oh, shit.” I glance at the clock and realize he was supposed to head to Austin hours ago. “I’m so sorry. I… I…”
“Kat, don’t worry about it. I wanted to hang out.” He tucks his hands into his pockets, a deep frown forming on his handsome face. “Actually, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
I close my eyes and brace myself to hear that he’s leaving. Instead, I jump when a knock comes at the front door.
Brady looks toward the living room, and he starts to step toward the door, but I grab his arm. “Don’t. That’s for me.” I let go of him and chug the rest of my drink. “It’s my ex.”
His whole body tenses. “What the fuck is he doing here?”
I hand him my empty glass. “Your guess is as good as mine.” I look up at him, wishing I could wrap myself in his arms and close ourselves off from the world. “Can we talk in a little while? I need to deal with Eric first.”
He nods, his jaw tight. “You going to be okay out there?”
“Yeah. He’s a dick, but he’d never hurt me.” More than he already has, anyway.
Brady leans back against the counter, his whole body tense, and looks me hard in the eyes. “I’ll be here if you need anything.”
“Thanks.” I smile weakly and drag myself to the front door.
Three deep breaths later, I force myself outside. Eric looks out of place in his designer clothes, reclining on the dilapidated bench in front of the large front window. The drapes are closed behind him, but the Christmas tree lights twinkle through the small sliver that remains open.
Eric’s presence is messing with my head. Everything about this place represents family and love and belonging while he only reminds me of what it’s like to feel alone and left behind.
But it’s a relief to realize how little I feel for him, which makes me wonder if I ever loved him at all. Because right now, I just want him gone.
Crossing my arms, I shake my head. “Why are you here?”
He flicks off an imaginary piece of lint from his khakis. “To end this nonsense. To bring you home for Christmas. To celebrate your birthday with you.”
A deep well of sadness bubbles over. My birthday. I’d almost forgotten.
My lips flatten. “You’re a bright guy. You really don’t think there’s something to salvage here, do you? I think I was pretty clear when I left Austin that we were over.”
He chuckles. “You left everything I ever bought you on my front steps. A little dramatic, but given the circumstances, I understand why you were upset.”
“You understand…” I sputter, almost apoplectic. “You understand why I was upset?”
“Baby, look, let’s get out of here. We’ll spend the next few days catching up at my place and then we’ll head to Corpus to visit your parents. You know they’re worried sick about you.”
Seriously, I can feel the pulse in my neck. I’m so angry, I’m vibrating. “Why the hell are you talking to my parents?”
He lifts his hands dramatically. “Someone had to. You left them in the dark while you shacked up with some loser.” A moment later, the emotion in his eyes dims. Just like that, he’s cool and collected. “In all honesty, this was a little predictable. You ran off to prove something to me, and now you’re slumming it. I get it. We all need to sow our wild oats. It’s not like I haven’t had a little fun these last few months. But the holidays aren’t for hookups, they’re for family.”
I stare into his icy blue eyes, dumbfounded he thinks that will win me over. “You really are an asshole.” But… how does he know I’m with Brady? Unless my parents made a few assumptions and mentioned those concerns to Eric. God, this just gets worse.
He bristles. “Language, Katherine. Have you forgotten all of the media prep work we did?”
I hate you.
I do. I hate him. I hate his misogynistic ideas about women and his need to control how I dress and speak. I hate his smug expression and that annoying laugh. And I fucking hate that he conned me into believing the lies his father told on that campaign. Mentiroso.
I’m about to unleash a tirade when he says the only thing that could give me pause in a moment like this.
“Katherine, think about your options. Your time has run out here. Besides”—he lifts a judgmental brow—“it’s not like your guy here is going to turn down the offer he got for the farm.”
Time stands still as I process those words.
“Ho—how do you know?” I stammer. “How do you know about that?”
His lip quirks up in an amused grin. “What do you think?”
My eyes narrow as I take in his confident posture on the bench. The wide spread of his legs. The way his arm is casually draped over the back.
“You’re buying a lavender farm?” I can’t help the surprise in my voice.
“Why not?” he whispers, clearly not wanting Brady to overhear. “If this is what you want, yes, I’ll buy it for you, and you can play Holly Hobby for a few months until you start working on Mitchell’s campaign in the fall.” His eyes travel over me in a way that I used to appreciate but that now skeeves me out. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.” He winks
, and I want to knee him in the balls. “Mitchell remembers you. I just spoke to him last week. He’ll take you any time, but you have to be ready to go in September.” He waves a lazy finger around in the air. “So maybe you can get this out of your system in the meanwhile.”
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I genuinely like it here? That I enjoy the day-to-day things I do on the farm enough to not want to go back to politics?”
He laughs so hard, it startles me. “Get serious.”
“Do you just throw money at all of your problems? Was that what you were planning to do if I really had been pregnant? Just throw money at me until I did what you wanted?”
That smirk slides off his face. “I would’ve taken care of my responsibilities. Besides, I distinctly remember you telling me you never wanted kids. That is, until you thought you were pregnant.”
“I didn’t want a baby, but there was no way I was getting an abortion because we messed up. Because it was inconvenient,” I hiss. Because he didn’t think it would look good for his father’s campaign.
“We messed up?”
“Yeah. We. Because maybe you could’ve mentioned the condom broke that last time we were together.”
His nostrils flare. “You were supposed to be on the pill.
“I got food poisoning. I threw up for forty-eight hours straight. I was freaking delirious. Sorry if I forgot to take my pill or threw it up.” Honestly, I don’t even remember. It was hard when my face was planted on the cold bathroom tile.
What I do remember is being alone. That Eric was too busy to stop by to check on me even though I told him I thought I needed to go to the hospital. Eye-opener number one.
Eye-opener number two came a few weeks later when I realized I hadn’t gotten my period, and my supposedly devoted boyfriend, who claimed he wanted to marry me, flew into a fit of rage and refused to talk to me.
So yes, I fucking left all the shit he got me on his front porch. And I underscored my animosity by quitting my job so I wouldn’t have to see him again.
I was here with Mel and Cal when I started spotting.