by Stead, Nick
The snap of a twig was enough to spook the deer and it bolted. I gave chase, weaving in and out of tree trunks and leaping over a fallen log, closing in on my prey. The deer pushed itself to the limit of its physical abilities, but it was only mortal and I was soon upon it, pouncing and sending us both crashing to the ground. I closed my jaws round its throat and felt a sense of triumph when my fangs slid into the soft flesh, blood spilling into my mouth. But something was wrong, a sudden agony stabbing through my gums.
I drew my head back, blood now gushing from my mouth, and to my horror I felt my teeth coming loose. I bent over, spitting out blood and teeth, until my gums were bare, rendering me powerless to feed once again, and all I could do was scream in frustration and pain.
I was still screaming from this latest nightmare as I fought my way back to consciousness. It seemed Lady Sarah’s power over my mind had even affected the nightmares, since this was a new one I’d not experienced before.
Dusk had fallen but the vampire had yet to rise. I stalked outside, seething once again, and glared up at the waning moon, feeling I had but one hope of breaking Lady Sarah’s hold over me. Her power clearly wasn’t enough to override the call of the full moon, or she’d have used her hypnotic abilities to keep the wolf from running wild instead of resorting to such brutal means as a blade through my leg. That meant when the moon next rose as full, I could indulge in my bloodlust once more. But since it had just been full, I now had a whole month to wait before I could slaughter freely, and the thought of that was enough to keep me fuming for the rest of the night.
I knew I was being childish again, but when the vampire awoke I still wouldn’t speak to her, though I was too hungry to resist the meat she offered me that night – a deer she killed and fed on first, leaving me with another unappetising dry carcass. Even the nightmare I’d had couldn’t keep me from eating my fill, and I tore through it as if I’d been starving for months.
By the time I’d finished my meal Lady Sarah was anxious to move on, and we spent more long hours running across the countryside until the approach of dawn forced us to stop and seek new shelter once more.
The next week or so passed much the same, though my rage gradually began to die down until, unable to feed it and the bloodlust it was tied to, it finally burnt itself out. Only emptiness remained and my faint glimmer of hope that was the moon, though as it continued to wane to no more than a slither of light in the sky I became utterly dejected, feeling I couldn’t last the two weeks (or just over) till it grew full once more.
That rage had defined me for so many weeks that I suddenly felt lost without it. I thought I could feel a few embers burning faintly deep inside me, so maybe I wasn’t entirely empty yet, but a part of me wondered if it would be completely gone by the time the full moon came. I could only hope the moon would rekindle it as it continued to wax and call to my lycanthropy once again, because if it didn’t I would be left completely dead inside, and I didn’t think I could face an eternity existing with this gaping chasm that had opened up inside me. I’d thought in giving into the rage and the bloodlust I’d embraced that inner darkness at the heart of mankind, but what if this was the true darkness, where no emotions, no life burned within? And in the absence of any spark of life, what reason was there for the empty husk I was becoming to continue to exist? I tried to stoke my dying rage with thoughts that this latest torment was all Lady Sarah’s doing, since it was her power preventing me from killing which had led to my anger draining away, but even that couldn’t call it back.
Lady Sarah sensed the change in me and decided to risk a few nights in the same place so she could teach me more to help me survive. I could tell what she really wanted to teach me was some self-control to help make the full moons easier, but she knew it was too early to attempt that when I’d only just calmed down from my last fit of rage.
By the new moon I felt a sense of despair creeping in. I gazed up at the night sky, feeling the burning remnants of my anger might as well be as far off as the stars glimmering faintly overhead. I wished I could reach out to the moon and drag it back into position to make it full again. I was only vaguely paying attention to what Lady Sarah was saying, finding her lessons almost as dull as those I’d endured at school in my human life.
“Now, should the need ever arise to return to the human world, there is more you need to know if you are to pass undetected for any length of time among them,” she said. “Since the Slayers actively patrol the streets on a night, the daylight hours are the safest for you to enter a settlement. Crowds offer the chance to blend in and make it harder for the Slayers to attack, since they don’t want the world at large to know of their existence. Some of them will also hesitate to shoot through human shields, but there are those who don’t care about the number of casualties if it means bringing our races that bit closer to extinction, as you are well aware.
“You would need to acquire more clothes to pass for human of course, and if you need to visit a place more than once you should try to change your appearance as much as possible each time. Modern technology makes it easier for the Slayers to track us than ever before and you should be mindful of cameras, as well as prying human eyes. If you can’t hide in a crowd then avoid built up areas where there’s likely to be more cameras, and try to keep your face hidden as much as possible. In wolf form you need to be even more careful and keep to the shadows and alleyways. Civilians might mistake you for a stray dog, but after all the media reports of a ‘rogue wolf’ on the loose they may well attack, and the Slayers will be quick to recognise you if a large canid is spotted in an area.”
“Okay,” I murmured, still gazing up at the night sky.
“I can see your attention is elsewhere tonight so we will leave it there I suppose, but the sooner you learn all this the better. If we ever get separated or if you run into trouble in the daylight hours when I’m unable to help, you need to know these things to give you the best chance to survive in our world.”
I gave a non-committal response and the vampire went to hunt for another luckless animal to sustain us both.
Another week passed but I had yet to feel any change, despite the waxing moon.
“You can make stitches from a few natural materials if the need arises in the wild,” Lady Sarah was saying as part of my latest lesson, demonstrating the use of tendons from her latest kill as thread and a makeshift needle she’d fashioned out of wood.
“Why do I even need to know this?” I snapped. The night sky was completely black, the moon hidden behind storm clouds massing overhead. But I could feel it up there, growing fuller, and at long last my anger burned stronger again from within my inner darkness. “The transformation heals wounds for me; I don’t need stitches.”
“And what if you’re bleeding out from a wound and too low on energy to heal the damage before it kills you?” Lady Sarah responded with a surge of her own anger, as if the two were linked again, flames leaping between us to set each of us ablaze with fury. “I am trying to help you, if you would stop behaving like a spoilt child and focus on your own survival.”
“What’s the point in surviving if all we’re going to do is run and hide?” I snarled. “It’s been weeks now since our battle with the Slayers and we’ve done nothing constructive. Time’s slipping away from us and still nothing changes. They continue to pick us off one by one – they’ve already tried to take me and you out, and how many others have they successfully killed while we’ve been on the run? Why do we not fight? We came out victorious once already. Why are we not pressing the assault on their other bases? We could make another stand, instead of fleeing and allowing the Slayers to carry on weakening us.”
“You are not ready for all out warfare!” Lady Sarah snapped back, unable to keep her anger in check this time. It seemed she didn’t like me questioning her judgement. “You may have taken the role of leader when we fought in your hometown, but you are still very young, Nick. You know nothing of true war. We won a small victory and gained some t
ime for those of us in that area, nothing more. The Slayers will be back. Yes, we could continue to assault their other bases but they will be ready for us in future, and we cannot hope to prevail if they're ready to mass against us!”
“Then we should be striking them down before they can gather their forces,” I argued.
“Ah, if it were that simple! If we were to engage them in open warfare we would die. It would be genocide. We might have all the advantages in a fair fight, but you should know as well as anyone that humanity does not fight fair. They hide behind their machines, and even we cannot withstand some of this modern technology.
“I may have limited knowledge about the modern world, but I have seen some of their more recent instruments of destruction at play. I've lived through wars that they've waged against each other and I've seen the advances in their machinery. I've seen them develop bombs and other such weapons, and if it is we who are caught in the crosshairs I am not so arrogant as to believe we would somehow escape.
“And they would resort to such destructive measures. If they felt we had declared open warfare, are you really so stupid as to think they would continue to fight in secret from the rest of the world? No, they would use their influence amongst their governments to unite the world against us. They've already proven they will permit a few sacrifices to save the many – they would stop at nothing to smash whatever forces we could gather. This might not be the view held by all, but madness breeds madness, and eventually the doubters to their cause would come to think the same way.
“So no, we have not gone on the offensive following our one small victory. I repeat, it would be genocide.”
“Well I won’t just cower in the shadows until they find me,” I snarled. “We were made for more than this! We were made to fight and to kill, and to inspire fear in mankind. I won’t spend eternity running from my prey. It is they who should run screaming from me, and tonight I will make them scream.”
“Fine, go out there and get yourself killed if that’s what you really want! I will not stop you,” the vampire hissed.
“No, you won’t,” I growled and ran off before she could do anything, though I think she was too angry that night to use her powers to keep me from going off alone.
I slowed only when Lady Sarah was beyond the reach of my senses. I could no longer hear her dead lungs inhaling and exhaling out of habit rather than necessity, her breaths coming more rapidly as she fought to control her own anger. There was no sight of her in the blackness of the countryside, nor any scent of vampire – another smell I’d grown to recognise since spending so much time with her over the last month. Then the first rumble of thunder began like the growl of some mighty beast overhead, as if my rage had grown so powerful that even the elements felt it and responded in kind.
Lightning rent the blackness, a fissure in the sky through which it seemed the downpour started from. The rain was cold on my skin, a chill made worse by the wind driving it, but my anger burned so fiercely I barely noticed. Another streak of lightning revealed the water, so pure and clear around me, to be mixing with the dried blood still covering my body. Tainted by the horrific acts I’d committed over the last few weeks, the raindrops ran red across my skin, the rainfall growing heavier as if in response, in an attempt to cleanse my evil from the land. I roared in defiance and was answered by another rumble of thunder, swiftly followed by a further flash of lightning.
As British storms went, this one was impressive. It was easy to see why such an awe-inspiring, natural phenomenon had been mistaken for the work of gods in times long past. And who was to say it hadn’t been caused by some divine being? Lady Sarah had told me demons existed, so that suggested the possibility of some kind of heavenly creatures as well. Was it mere rainfall pelting my body or did the heavens weep for the poor souls I had brutally ripped from their mortal lives and sent unwillingly to whatever awaited them in death? Was the storm truly a sign that I’d angered whatever God or gods might be up there, watching this unnatural thing invading the world they reigned over from above? I had let such thoughts trouble me before, but that night they only fed the fires of my rage. If any kind of gods existed they had let me fall victim to my lycanthropy, and they had forsaken me in my hour of need, back when I wanted to keep myself from killing. I owed them nothing, least of all any faith or respect. So I roared in defiance again and let the transformation take hold until my true nature of wolf and man hybrid was revealed once more. Then I turned my attention back to the earth.
Risen up on the fires of my rage, my bloodlust had re-awoken, and the need to kill was overpowering. I was desperate to taste fresh blood on my tongue, feel it spilling out of my mouth and down my chin, the warmth of it trickling down my body. I wanted to feel bones crush in my jaws and flesh tear in my hands, to hear living hearts beat their last and see eyes full of life dimming as I plunged them into the blackness of death. I wanted to kill again, and there was only one way I could overcome Lady Sarah’s hold over me before the rise of the next full moon. I was able to remember the words she’d spoken to me whilst I was under her hypnotic power, the words I was forced to adhere to no matter how greatly I wanted to rebel.
“No more killing without my permission, except in self-defence,” she’d said. That left me but one choice. I had to find more Slayers to fight and by engaging them, I could kill again.
“Slayers!” I roared into the night. “I know you’re out there.”
My only reply came from another rumble of thunder overhead.
“I’m on my own now; no Lady Sarah to fight by my side. So what are you waiting for? Come get me, you bastards!”
The night remained frustratingly free of human activity, leaving me to fall into another fit of rage driven madness. But as the anger began to die down enough for my thoughts to clear, an idea came to me. It was insanely reckless, but at least if it cost me my life I would go down in a blaze of glory. I found that thought strangely appealing, and more preferable to an eternity of running and hiding, dead inside except at the time of the full moon – which seemed to be the fate awaiting me if I returned to Lady Sarah.
The storm had passed and there was a hint of light creeping into the blackness overhead, signalling the approach of dawn. I took the transformation fully to wolf form since I still didn’t have the means to make myself presentable enough to enter the human world, then headed in the direction of the nearest town. If the Slayers were too cowardly to face me I would have to take the fight to them, and it was in search of my enemies I now went. One way or another I would satisfy my bloodlust, even if it cost me my life.
Chapter Five – Looking for a Fight
I shivered in the early morning chill, still wet after being out in the storm which allowed the cold past the defences of my fur coat and free to harry my skin as if it was still bare. It hadn’t been a problem till I’d paused in my hunt for the Slayers, but the hunger brought on by the transformation was becoming unbearable and the roadkill I’d found was too tempting to resist.
The mess of fur and flesh had been a living fox until recently. It was a fresh kill, the meat still slightly warm. As roadkill went it wasn’t too bad a meal and there was just enough to keep the hunger at bay, though my appetite was far from sated. But the thought that I would soon feast on the flesh of my enemies kept me going, and once I’d eaten what I could from the remains I pressed on, careful to keep to the side streets and remain out of sight of prying eyes for the time being. I didn’t want to be discovered too soon so I tried to follow the advice Lady Sarah had given me on avoiding detection, which I grudgingly admitted to myself was proving useful after all.
I searched the streets for any hint of Slayers still out on patrol in the early morning quiet before the human world awoke, but the town seemed deserted. Despite the ease with which the Slayers had found me before, they didn’t seem to be aware I was somewhere in the area. I had to assume their nightly patrols had already returned to their everyday lives with the onset of dawn, since the other undead race
s were no longer a threat now it was daylight, or at least I assumed that was the case. As far as I knew I was the only one of us free to attack during the day. And it seemed likely the Slayers would keep their guard up if they knew I was nearby, probably patrolling for longer than usual, but if they thought I was elsewhere in the country they had no need to stay out after dawn.
Somewhere within the town a church bell tolled the hour – seven o’ clock, which meant the streets would soon be busy with people rushing to work and to school, unless it was a weekend but I had no way of knowing that. The days of the week no longer held any meaning for me so I hadn’t even bothered to try and keep track since leaving the human world behind. But the people of this town were still bound by their routines of education and employment and, assuming it was a weekday, the early morning rush was about to begin. So I was forced to retreat back into the surrounding countryside and find somewhere to rest and nurse my simmering anger, determined as I was not to let it completely burn out again, until nightfall when I could resume the hunt.
I returned to the town that night, only to find the streets almost as quiet as they had been that morning. There were a few people walking dogs or heading out for a drink, but no Slayers as far as I could tell. None of them seemed to be carrying any weapons or to possess that alertness of their surroundings that would have suggested they knew the true nature of the dangers the darkness held. I wandered the streets right up until dawn again, pausing in my search only to scavenge more roadkill, but the town remained utterly devoid of any Slayer activity. That should have signalled to me that something was wrong and that perhaps the wisest course would’ve been to abort this reckless mission I’d committed myself to, yet my stubbornness didn’t want to listen to caution. The longer the Slayers hid from me like cowards, the more set I became on finding the force they had in that particular area and engaging them in combat, which was the only way to get around Lady Sarah’s power so I could kill as I was so desperate to do. But I had enough sense to leave the town again during the daylight hours and changed back to human form, resting and waiting for nightfall once more.