My Word_Interior.indd

by Gizelle Bryant

  seven syllables. “Are you saying you knew?”

  “No.” She waved her hands. “Of course not. Because if I’d

  found out before you, your husband would be dead. No, I just meant that Jeremy’s not who he used to be. He’s different.

  He speaks to me differently. Like back in New Orleans, the

  three of us were friends. But now, he treats me...well, as an

  employee. I mean, that’s what I am, but you don’t treat me that way.”

  “Because you’re my best friend first.”

  “Exactly. But it’s not that way with Jeremy. It was when I

  first came here to D.C. with y’all. But especially since we’ve been in the new sanctuary and on that campus, he’s really

  different. I’m surprised you haven’t noticed.”

  I shook my head. “And I’m surprised you’ve never said

  anything.”

  She shrugged. “What was I supposed to say? Your

  husband’s caught up? It was bound to happen. All that money

  now, all that power. People shout out his name when he walks

  by. He’s in demand as a speaker. He’s the right Reverend

  Jeremy Williams now, you know?”

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  I filled my cheeks with air, then exhaled slowly.

  “So what’s the plan? You’re the First Lady, so you can’t go

  rolling up on this Katrina chick. Does Jada know?”

  “I didn’t want to talk to anyone before I talked to Jeremy.

  But now that all these days have passed and he’ll be home

  tomorrow....”

  “Well, Jada and I can roll up on that homewrecker and

  take care of her tonight.”

  Even though Dru was trying to lighten the moment, I

  couldn’t find a smile. Shaking my head, I said, “No. She didn’t wreck my home,” I said with a sigh. “This is on Jeremy, if it’s even true.”

  She frowned. “What do you mean if it’s even true? You

  don’t believe her?”

  “I did in the beginning because everything fit. But I guess

  I’ve had too many days of thinking and stewing and thinking

  and crying and thinking and....”

  She held up her hand. “I get the picture.”

  “And then on top of that, there’s this deal with Amazon.”

  I filled Dru in on what happened at the meeting.

  “High. Seven. Figures?” She shook her head. “I cannot

  believe you kept all of this from me. I just thought you were

  off because of Mother Hayden.”

  “And that’s another thing. Isn’t it weird, Dru, that this

  happened with Katrina and then, Mother Hayden died.”

  “Huh?” She squinted as if my words sounded crazy. “You

  think Katrina had something to do with that?”

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  “No, of course not. What I mean is that when Mother

  Hayden died, that stopped everything. I couldn’t talk to

  Jeremy and I had to just sit on this for the last six days.”

  “Oh, and so you’re wondering if....”

  “God is trying to tell me something.”

  She shrugged. “Well, we know God hates divorce.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Except in the case of adultery.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Yeah,” she nodded slowly, “I can see why you’re in a

  dilemma.”

  “I’m just wondering if I should give it more time before I

  say something to Jeremy.”

  “Why? If he’s coming back tomorrow, why not talk to

  him?”

  I waited a moment to continue, trying to put together the

  words to explain what I’d been thinking and feeling, especially in the last few days. “Because bringing it up to him now forces me to take action and I’m not sure what action I need to take.”

  Dru leaned back, her expression pensive, like she was

  thinking and then weighing what she wanted to say. Then,

  she said, “You know what? I think you may be right.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, because right now, all you really have is the word

  of some trick from Southeast.”

  “I have her word and I have her text. Oh, and I have

  something else.” I paused. “She told me she wasn’t the only

  one that Jeremy’s been with.”

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  “Wait. WHAT?”

  “Yeah, she went on and on about how he was cheating

  on her.”

  Dru’s eyes widened. “You’ve got to be kidding me. These

  side chicks are real bold these days. But now, I really don’t

  know if I believe her and I’m thinking that you need to hold

  up for a minute. Because not only does she sound crazy, but

  if you say anything about her to Jeremy, he’s probably going

  to tell you that she is crazy. What else can he do? He’s not going to say, ‘yeah, I have a crazy jump-off who lives a couple of miles away.’ He’s going to deny it.”

  Leaning forward, I held my head in my hands.

  “Let’s do this.” She scooted to the edge of the sofa and

  rubbed my back. “Let’s wait just a few more days. Let me talk

  to Jeremy.”

  I sat up straight. “What? No! If anyone is going to talk to

  him about this, it’ll be me.”

  “No, not about this. I’m just gonna have a chat with him.

  Not say anything directly. But I don’t know, Ginger. Let me

  talk to him and let us figure this out some more. Because

  really you’re right; you don’t have enough yet. You don’t have enough to make the decision to walk out the door.”

  And that right there was my quandary. Was I willing to

  leave Jeremy and take Jasmine and Jayden from their father

  over the word of a woman? “But,” I had another question,

  “what about if Katrina has said something to him?”

  “Well, if she tells him that she told you, she’s a fool.

  Because she’d have to deal with his wrath. But if she did and

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  he says something to you, then you handle it. For now, though, I really do think you’re right. You can’t say anything. Not yet.”

  I nodded, then, leaned back against the soft couch and

  closed my eyes. Dru was right; Jeremy would never admit it.

  Not with just a text and some woman’s word. He would tell

  me Katrina was lying. He’d remind me of the stalkers he’d had

  in the past. He’d just say Katrina went further than the others.

  I was an action person and I couldn’t do anything with

  what I had now—I needed more.

  “Okay,” I said. “Talk to him. Let’s see what happens.”

  “All right. And what are you going to do?”

  “I’m going to do the only thing I can do at this point; I’m

  going to pray.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  For once, I was glad I had a First Ladies Council meeting,

  especially since it was just the executive board: me, Sonya,

  and unfortunately, Cecily.

  But today, I needed this. Jeremy had been home for two

  days. I’d been praying for Jesus to be a zip on my lips and so far, my prayers had been answered; I’d said nothing about

  meeting Katrina. And he’d said nothing to me.

  Keeping the secret had been easier than I thought; since

  he’d been home, Jeremy had been a bit distracted. I was sure

  it was because of Mother Hayden. For the two days, he’d gone

  into the church and done his duties, but he’d left the office

  bo
th days before five, getting home before me and sending

  Carmen on her way. He’d been spending as much time with

  the kids as he could.

  Jeremy had done this before—it was as if when he had to

  deal with death, our children reminded him of life.

  Of course, I loved when he spent time with Jasmine and

  Jayden. That was a good thing—except right now, it gave

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  me and Jeremy too many hours together, during the day at

  church, and then at home at night. And I was concerned—too

  many hours might lead to me saying something.

  But I’d lasted. Because the bottom line was—I needed

  more before I could make a decision. I just didn’t know when,

  where or how I would get information to find out one way

  or the other.

  I pushed all those thoughts aside, though, as I strolled

  from the parking garage and into Georgia Brown’s. I certainly

  didn’t want to have this on my mind as I met with Sonya and

  Cecily, which was why I’d decided to arrive fifteen minutes

  early. I wanted to give myself time to settle down and have my game face on because I didn’t want either of them, especially

  Sonya, to pick up on any of my distress. The last time Sonya

  had seen me, I was rushing from her apartment. Today my

  facade would be cool and ever so collected.

  At the hostess stand, I was just about to ask for our

  reservation, when I saw Sonya and Cecily, already seated at

  a table by the window. I glanced at my watch; had I mixed

  up the time?

  I pointed to them as I passed the hostess and weaved my

  way through the tables. Sonya and Cecily hadn’t seen me yet;

  they were too involved in their conversation. Their heads were down, close together as they whispered.

  They didn’t even notice when I stood at the table. “Hello.”

  Both of them looked up, startled. “Oh, Ginger,” Sonya

  said. “I didn’t see you come in.”

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  She stood to hug me and as I slipped into the chair across

  from her, I said, “I can tell.” Turning to my right, I said,

  “Cecily.” My greeting was curt, I knew that. But I never had

  much to say to her and the vice versa was true, too.

  “What’s up, girl?” she said as if we were friends.

  I didn’t know what that was about, but I said, “I’m good.

  So you two got here early.”

  They exchanged a glance before Sonya said, “My mother

  always told me if you’re fifteen minutes early, you’re on time.”

  “Then, I’m right on time,” I said. “Because I was trying to

  get here fifteen minutes early.”

  “Great,” Sonya said. “Wel , let’s order and then we can get

  to the business at hand.”

  Cecily and I nodded together, probably the only thing we

  would agree on at this meeting. As I perused the menu, on the

  sly I studied Sonya and Cecily. As always, they were both put

  together, though Sonya was the much more matronly one as

  she was today with the scooped neck rose-colored dress she

  wore that fell almost to her calves. Cecily hadn’t stood, but

  I didn’t have to see the hem of her spaghetti-strap sundress.

  Every skirt or dress she wore, barely skimmed her knees and

  her shoe game was almost as on point as mine.

  But even as we glanced over the menus, I could tell there

  was something going on with these two. I felt this vibe, like

  Sonya and Cecily were still communicating, though they

  spoke no words. It was in the way they kept glancing at each

  other and Sonya kept shaking her head. I’d walked in on

  something.

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  After the waitress took our orders, I was ready to get to

  business. While I was glad to have the reprieve from being

  around Jeremy, there was an expiration time I had when it

  came to spending time with these women.

  “So,” I started, “I wanted to give you both a run-down on

  what happened at the job fair and then talk about how we’re

  going to schedule the high school visits. I’d love to set up that up today so we can take it to the other First Ladies, get their approval and then, get started.”

  “Of course,” Sonya said. “But before we get into all of

  that,” she waved her hand as if what I had to say wasn’t

  important, “I wanted to ask....” She paused and with her arms

  resting on the table, she whispered, “How are you?”

  The beat of my heart sped up. “I’m...fine...why?”

  “Oh, well, the last time I saw you.” She glanced at Cecily.

  “Ah,” I said as nonchalantly as I could, then I turned to

  Cecily the same way Sonya had done. “Jeremy and I were

  supposed to have dinner with Sonya and Charles,” I explained.

  “But our babysitter got sick.” Returning my glance to Sonya, I said, “But it was just a little cold. She’s fine, the kids are fine, all is well.”

  Sonya and Cecily gave each other a long look and now

  I was sure...something was going on. But I wasn’t going to

  allow them to take me down their gossipy road. Since the

  Dress for Success program hadn’t gotten them on track, I

  tried another approach. “Oh, you know what I want to talk to

  you about,” I began, keeping my tone light. “Our anniversary

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  celebration. I know you mentioned, Sonya, that you and the

  First Ladies Council wanted to make a presentation.”

  “Yes.” She nodded. “We really want to if you can fit us on

  the program.”

  “Definitely. This is so nice of you.”

  “Well, we don’t want to do it just to be nice.” She glanced

  at Cecily and she nodded. “We want to make a presentation

  to New Kingdom Temple, but we also want to do a special

  tribute to you.”

  “That’s right,” Cecily said, peering at me through the

  black diamond-studded cat-eye glasses that she wore today.

  Sonya continued, “We want to recognize what few people

  do—that there are a lot of responsibilities that go along with being helpmeets for our husbands. And at times, that can be

  overwhelming.”

  “At times?” Cecily piped in. “You mean most times.”

  Now, they nodded together.

  “Well, I appreciate that,” I said.

  “And we appreciate you,” Sonya said. “When God blessed

  me with this idea all those years ago to create this support

  group, I did it for women just like you.”

  “Thank you,” I said. Feeling a great need to turn the

  conversation back to business, I added, “So I’ll have Lizzy,

  Jeremy’s assistant get the program over to you.”

  “It can be so overwhelming being a pastor’s wife,” Cecily

  said as if I hadn’t said a word.

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  “I agree,” Sonya said. God knows that my forty years of

  marriage has needed support from time to time. We all need

  the blessing of being around other women with like minds.”

  I couldn’t stop my eyebrows from rising with those words.

  Like minds? I had nothing in common with these women and

  this would have been a good time to bring up some of the

  iss
ues I had with the Council, especially the gossiping. But

  again, I tried to steer the conversation to where I wanted it

  to be. “Well...being part of the Council has been...interesting for me. Especially because of the good work the Council does

  in D.C..”

  “And I wouldn’t have survived without the Council and

  their support,” Cecily held up her hand as if she was about

  to testify.

  Again, it felt like neither one of them were listening to

  me.Cecily continued, “I mean, I haven’t had the issues that

  so many of the wives have, unfortunately, had to go through.”

  She paused and placed her hand on my arm. “I mean, my

  husband and I have had a good marriage, thank you, Lord.

  But still, sometimes a woman just needs other women to talk

  to. That’s what we want you to know. That we’re here for you.”

  The way Cecily sat on the edge of her chair—I’d seen that

  stance before. I’d seen the hungry gaze from her eyes. I sucked in air. They knew about Jeremy and Katrina!

  I pushed down the rising stone in my throat. “I’m grateful,”

  I said, “but really, today, I don’t want to talk about anyone or

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  anything. I just want us to get to the business that we came

  here to discuss.”

  Sonya leaned toward me. “We don’t have to talk about

  any of that today, Ginger. That’s not why I wanted us to get

  together. I knew you needed us without the other women

  around.” Reaching across the table, she patted my hand. “You

  don’t have to put up a front for us.”

  They knew. Oh, my God. They knew.

  I blinked, trying to think of something to say, trying to

  gain control of this conversation. There was no way I was

  going to talk to them about Jeremy and Katrina.

  “I’m not...putting on any front. But the thing is, I don’t

  want to talk about any personal business.”

  “It’s not really personal when it affects all of us,” Sonya

  said. “Everything that happens in every church affects all of

  us. You know that.”

  “Yes,” Cecily jumped in. “We’re intertwined. We’re family,

  baby.”

  Those words made the stone fill up my throat. She’d said

  the same thing to Rena. I wanted to jump up, toss a couple

  of bills on the table, and get the hades out of here. But I was stuck in my seat. It took me a moment to find my voice.

  “Look,” I began. “I appreciate why you formed this group and