night.
But he didn’t show up again in public until the following
Sunday, standing on the pulpit before his congregation with
tears already sliding down his cheek. He’d cried out his mea
culpa, “Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned,” taking me al the way back to our beginning.
When Dru had told me that story, all I could do was
thank God for making sure the kids and I were already twelve
hours into our seventeen hour drive away from D.C..
“I had nightmares about that anniversary for weeks after.”
Dru shook her head. “That’s why I just never went back to
New Kingdom, until today.”
“Thanks for taking the kids there for me. I just couldn’t
bring myself to go back.”
“I get it. And it was no problem. Everyone was glad to see
them and a few folks even seemed glad to see me. It was good
to be back, though I wasn’t sure I would ever walk through
those doors of New Kingdom Temple again.”
“You and about twenty percent of the membership, right?
That’s what was reported on Abundant Life and Abiding
Love when Angela Wiley did that follow up show on the fall
of Reverend Williams.” I shook my head. “She had built him
up when she did the show with us, but it seemed like she was
just as happy to tear him down.”
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“But isn’t that what so many people do with pastors?” Dru
asked. “Sometimes I feel like we, as a society, set pastors up for a fall. And then, we kick them when they’re down.”
“That’s true. But what I say is just don’t give people the
ammunition to kill you.”
“That’s true, too,” Dru said. “Well, all I know is that the
sanctuary was packed today and the way Jeremy set that place
on fire,” she shrugged, “it won’t be long before he takes the
membership rolls back up.”
“It doesn’t surprise me,” I said. “Jeremy is a great preacher.
He was just a horrible husb...” I stopped myself because what
I was about to say wasn’t the truth. Jeremy wasn’t a horrible
man and I really couldn’t say he was a horrible husband. He’d
just done a horrible thing that I’d been able to forgive, but
still had to walk away.
My words brought a small smile to Dru’s face. “I really
am proud of you.”
“Thank you.” I took a sip of my tea. “How’s your job
going?”
She shook her head. “Stella is no Ginger,” she said,
referring to her boss at the African American Museum, where
she’d started working shortly after I moved away. “But since
I’ve gotten that promotion to event coordinator, I’m enjoying
it more there.”
Just as I lifted my cup for another sip, I saw Jeremy
through the glass doors and I hated that my heart quickened
a bit at my first sight of him. I had reconciled our divorce in
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my head a long time ago, really from the moment I read the
paternity results. I may have been able to forgive an affair,
but once a baby was in the mix, it was deuces. So my head
understood; I just needed time for my heart time to catch up.
When he opened the door, Jasmine skipped inside in
front of her brother and father.
“Mommy,” Jasmine shouted once she spotted me. She’d
forgotten all about our talk regarding inside voices. “You
should’ve seen my solo. You were right. Even though I didn’t
get to practice with the children’s choir, I didn’t mess up.”
I hugged my daughter. “I knew you would be awesome.
Auntie Dru recorded it for me, so I’ll get to watch it again
and again.”
Dru nodded as she stood. “Who wants a Frappuccino?”
“Me!” both Jasmine and Jayden sang in unison.
Dru took their hands and led them up toward the counter,
leaving me and Jeremy alone. It was an awkward silence
which was amplified because of just how crazy this was. Who
would’ve thought the two of us would ever be at a loss for
words in each other’s presence?
“How are you?” Jeremy finally said as he reached in for
a hug.
Inside his embrace, I inhaled the fragrance of his cologne,
then stepped back. “I’m well. What about you?”
He began to nod slowly as he glanced over at Jasmine and
Jayden at the counter. “I’m well and I’m happy.” He turned
back to me. “Thank you for letting them come. This was a big
day for me.”
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“You’re welcome,” I said.
And then, the silence returned. I shifted from one five-
inch boot heel to the other, once again marveling at how crazy it felt to be in his presence. But though we talked often about the children, this was the first time we were face to face since I’d rolled out of our driveway heading to Dallas. He’d been to Dallas dozens of times to visit the children and to see them
over the holidays, the visits always facilitated by my mother.
But even though he’d asked to have Christmas dinner with
us, I hadn’t been ready. And now that he stood here in front
of me, I wondered if I’d been ready even now.
When I glanced back at my ex, Jeremy was studying me
and a mist glazed his eyes. “You...look...stunning.”
“Thank you.” I wondered if the polite thing to do was to
ask about his other son, but I decided I definitely wasn’t ready for that. It wasn’t like he and Sharonne had a relationship. I wouldn’t have been able to ever see Jeremy with someone like
her; she was exactly what First Lady Eunice had told me all
those years ago: Sharonne was good for a roll in the bed, but
she’d never stand next to Jeremy at the altar.
Turned out First Lady Eunice had been right. My mother
had told me (again, though Lizzy) that Jeremy was taking
care of Andre and he was present in his life. But beyond co-
parenting, he had no relationship with Sharonne.
Trying to feel the silence, I said to Jeremy, “I heard the
sermon today was, how did Dru put it, fire.”
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That made him smile and relax his shoulders and I did
the same. “I preached from Isaiah forty-four-twenty-two,”
he said.
It was automatic when I said, “I have swept away your
offenses like a cloud. Your sins like the morning mist.”
And it was automatic when Jeremy finished for me,
“Return to me for I have redeemed you.”
The awkwardness was gone now and so with a full smile
on my face and in my heart, I could say, “I’m happy things are going well for you, Jeremy.”
He hesitated for a moment before he took a step closer
to me. “They’d be better if-”
I held up a hand, my palm in front of his face. “I’m here
for the kids.”
From the look on his face, I could tell that he heard the
words I didn’t say following I’m here for the kids—nothing
more.
Dru and I were still in sync because that was the moment
she and the kids stepped into our space with Jasmine
and Jayden ecstatic about their Strawberries and Cream
F
rappuccino’s.
“Mom, Dad’s taking us to TGI Fridays. Are you coming?”
Jayden asked.
“We’re going to Fridays on a Sunday!” Jasmine laughed.
Jayden shook his head at his sister and I ruffled her hair
that flowed to her shoulders in curls today.
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I said, “No, Sweetie. This is Daddy time. But here’s what
you came for.” Reaching into my purse, I handed his Nintendo
to him. “We know you can’t live without it.”
“Thanks Mom,” Jayden said, and turning to Jeremy he
said, “And thanks, Dad for bringing me to get it.”
“Of course, son.”
“Okay,” I said, “You guys get going. I’ll be at the hotel
waiting on you guys, so just enjoy your dad.”
Jeremy’s eyes were filled with longing, his gaze, telling
me he wanted me to be there to share their meal. But all he
said was, “Okay, we’ll see you at the hotel in a few hours.” He turned to Dru. “Thanks for coming to the services. We miss
you at New Kingdom.”
I was glad to see the warmth in Dru’s smile. It had taken
her a long time, longer than me, really. He’d hurt her best
friend, but she did have the heart of Christ—it was time to
forgive.
I said my goodbyes to my children with kisses and my
ex-husband with one of those church hugs where our hips
were miles away from each other, and then Dru and I watched
Jasmine skip and Jayden and Jeremy stroll out.
When they were out of our sight, Dru sighed and turned
to me. “Did I tell you how proud I am of you?”
“You’ve mentioned that a time or two.”
“You could’ve destroyed him.”
“But I didn’t want to, never wanted to.”
“That’s why you’re my She-ro.”
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I grabbed my purse and slung the designer bag over
my shoulder. “Well, my Super Hero powers need some
rejuvenating and this tea isn’t cutting it. I think it’s Dirty Martini Time.”
“Now you’re talking my language.” Dru laughed.
With that, my best friend draped her arm through mine
and this time, we were the ones almost skipping out of the
door. Outside, I slapped on my oversized sunglasses. I needed
to block the glare a bit because the sun was really shining; my future was looking so bright.
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