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by Gizelle Bryant


  night.

  But he didn’t show up again in public until the following

  Sunday, standing on the pulpit before his congregation with

  tears already sliding down his cheek. He’d cried out his mea

  culpa, “Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned,” taking me al the way back to our beginning.

  When Dru had told me that story, all I could do was

  thank God for making sure the kids and I were already twelve

  hours into our seventeen hour drive away from D.C..

  “I had nightmares about that anniversary for weeks after.”

  Dru shook her head. “That’s why I just never went back to

  New Kingdom, until today.”

  “Thanks for taking the kids there for me. I just couldn’t

  bring myself to go back.”

  “I get it. And it was no problem. Everyone was glad to see

  them and a few folks even seemed glad to see me. It was good

  to be back, though I wasn’t sure I would ever walk through

  those doors of New Kingdom Temple again.”

  “You and about twenty percent of the membership, right?

  That’s what was reported on Abundant Life and Abiding

  Love when Angela Wiley did that follow up show on the fall

  of Reverend Williams.” I shook my head. “She had built him

  up when she did the show with us, but it seemed like she was

  just as happy to tear him down.”

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  “But isn’t that what so many people do with pastors?” Dru

  asked. “Sometimes I feel like we, as a society, set pastors up for a fall. And then, we kick them when they’re down.”

  “That’s true. But what I say is just don’t give people the

  ammunition to kill you.”

  “That’s true, too,” Dru said. “Well, all I know is that the

  sanctuary was packed today and the way Jeremy set that place

  on fire,” she shrugged, “it won’t be long before he takes the

  membership rolls back up.”

  “It doesn’t surprise me,” I said. “Jeremy is a great preacher.

  He was just a horrible husb...” I stopped myself because what

  I was about to say wasn’t the truth. Jeremy wasn’t a horrible

  man and I really couldn’t say he was a horrible husband. He’d

  just done a horrible thing that I’d been able to forgive, but

  still had to walk away.

  My words brought a small smile to Dru’s face. “I really

  am proud of you.”

  “Thank you.” I took a sip of my tea. “How’s your job

  going?”

  She shook her head. “Stella is no Ginger,” she said,

  referring to her boss at the African American Museum, where

  she’d started working shortly after I moved away. “But since

  I’ve gotten that promotion to event coordinator, I’m enjoying

  it more there.”

  Just as I lifted my cup for another sip, I saw Jeremy

  through the glass doors and I hated that my heart quickened

  a bit at my first sight of him. I had reconciled our divorce in

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  my head a long time ago, really from the moment I read the

  paternity results. I may have been able to forgive an affair,

  but once a baby was in the mix, it was deuces. So my head

  understood; I just needed time for my heart time to catch up.

  When he opened the door, Jasmine skipped inside in

  front of her brother and father.

  “Mommy,” Jasmine shouted once she spotted me. She’d

  forgotten all about our talk regarding inside voices. “You

  should’ve seen my solo. You were right. Even though I didn’t

  get to practice with the children’s choir, I didn’t mess up.”

  I hugged my daughter. “I knew you would be awesome.

  Auntie Dru recorded it for me, so I’ll get to watch it again

  and again.”

  Dru nodded as she stood. “Who wants a Frappuccino?”

  “Me!” both Jasmine and Jayden sang in unison.

  Dru took their hands and led them up toward the counter,

  leaving me and Jeremy alone. It was an awkward silence

  which was amplified because of just how crazy this was. Who

  would’ve thought the two of us would ever be at a loss for

  words in each other’s presence?

  “How are you?” Jeremy finally said as he reached in for

  a hug.

  Inside his embrace, I inhaled the fragrance of his cologne,

  then stepped back. “I’m well. What about you?”

  He began to nod slowly as he glanced over at Jasmine and

  Jayden at the counter. “I’m well and I’m happy.” He turned

  back to me. “Thank you for letting them come. This was a big

  day for me.”

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  “You’re welcome,” I said.

  And then, the silence returned. I shifted from one five-

  inch boot heel to the other, once again marveling at how crazy it felt to be in his presence. But though we talked often about the children, this was the first time we were face to face since I’d rolled out of our driveway heading to Dallas. He’d been to Dallas dozens of times to visit the children and to see them

  over the holidays, the visits always facilitated by my mother.

  But even though he’d asked to have Christmas dinner with

  us, I hadn’t been ready. And now that he stood here in front

  of me, I wondered if I’d been ready even now.

  When I glanced back at my ex, Jeremy was studying me

  and a mist glazed his eyes. “You...look...stunning.”

  “Thank you.” I wondered if the polite thing to do was to

  ask about his other son, but I decided I definitely wasn’t ready for that. It wasn’t like he and Sharonne had a relationship. I wouldn’t have been able to ever see Jeremy with someone like

  her; she was exactly what First Lady Eunice had told me all

  those years ago: Sharonne was good for a roll in the bed, but

  she’d never stand next to Jeremy at the altar.

  Turned out First Lady Eunice had been right. My mother

  had told me (again, though Lizzy) that Jeremy was taking

  care of Andre and he was present in his life. But beyond co-

  parenting, he had no relationship with Sharonne.

  Trying to feel the silence, I said to Jeremy, “I heard the

  sermon today was, how did Dru put it, fire.”

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  That made him smile and relax his shoulders and I did

  the same. “I preached from Isaiah forty-four-twenty-two,”

  he said.

  It was automatic when I said, “I have swept away your

  offenses like a cloud. Your sins like the morning mist.”

  And it was automatic when Jeremy finished for me,

  “Return to me for I have redeemed you.”

  The awkwardness was gone now and so with a full smile

  on my face and in my heart, I could say, “I’m happy things are going well for you, Jeremy.”

  He hesitated for a moment before he took a step closer

  to me. “They’d be better if-”

  I held up a hand, my palm in front of his face. “I’m here

  for the kids.”

  From the look on his face, I could tell that he heard the

  words I didn’t say following I’m here for the kids—nothing

  more.

  Dru and I were still in sync because that was the moment

  she and the kids stepped into our space with Jasmine

  and Jayden ecstatic about their Strawberries and Cream

  F
rappuccino’s.

  “Mom, Dad’s taking us to TGI Fridays. Are you coming?”

  Jayden asked.

  “We’re going to Fridays on a Sunday!” Jasmine laughed.

  Jayden shook his head at his sister and I ruffled her hair

  that flowed to her shoulders in curls today.

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  I said, “No, Sweetie. This is Daddy time. But here’s what

  you came for.” Reaching into my purse, I handed his Nintendo

  to him. “We know you can’t live without it.”

  “Thanks Mom,” Jayden said, and turning to Jeremy he

  said, “And thanks, Dad for bringing me to get it.”

  “Of course, son.”

  “Okay,” I said, “You guys get going. I’ll be at the hotel

  waiting on you guys, so just enjoy your dad.”

  Jeremy’s eyes were filled with longing, his gaze, telling

  me he wanted me to be there to share their meal. But all he

  said was, “Okay, we’ll see you at the hotel in a few hours.” He turned to Dru. “Thanks for coming to the services. We miss

  you at New Kingdom.”

  I was glad to see the warmth in Dru’s smile. It had taken

  her a long time, longer than me, really. He’d hurt her best

  friend, but she did have the heart of Christ—it was time to

  forgive.

  I said my goodbyes to my children with kisses and my

  ex-husband with one of those church hugs where our hips

  were miles away from each other, and then Dru and I watched

  Jasmine skip and Jayden and Jeremy stroll out.

  When they were out of our sight, Dru sighed and turned

  to me. “Did I tell you how proud I am of you?”

  “You’ve mentioned that a time or two.”

  “You could’ve destroyed him.”

  “But I didn’t want to, never wanted to.”

  “That’s why you’re my She-ro.”

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  I grabbed my purse and slung the designer bag over

  my shoulder. “Well, my Super Hero powers need some

  rejuvenating and this tea isn’t cutting it. I think it’s Dirty Martini Time.”

  “Now you’re talking my language.” Dru laughed.

  With that, my best friend draped her arm through mine

  and this time, we were the ones almost skipping out of the

  door. Outside, I slapped on my oversized sunglasses. I needed

  to block the glare a bit because the sun was really shining; my future was looking so bright.

 

 

 


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