by Jade White
My nature? Was she for real? He controlled his temper; she was just being irritable, torn between those fake values and the reality they had to face. “I don’t want to argue with you. It makes me feel like-"
“You’re an ordinary human being,” she finished. “You’re not the only one feeling all weird about this. You’re not the only one who’s lost people. You’re not the only one desperate for something good to come out of all of this. I am, too, in fact. Even Lydia and John are.”
“We have to leave after this snowstorm. Staying here too long… they’ll find out who we are.”
“Tomorrow?” Alexia whispered.
“Tomorrow.”
“I wanted to stay. I didn’t know this was what a home felt like…”
“We can have this,” Ryker told her without giving it much thought.
We? Alexia’s brows furrowed in her sleep, and she decided not to say anything about the home he suddenly promised. Was it a promise? So, he really was in this with her? He had no intentions of leaving her? She suddenly felt unsure of herself.
“I mean, you can,” Ryker finally corrected, glad that the room was dark. His cheeks burned a little. He’d taken this a little too far, hadn’t he? Alexia could laugh anytime.
“It’d be nice if you’d be there, too. I don’t know much about the world and its workings. I only learned how to turn on an oven today. I know I must’ve looked silly.”
“I think they’ve taken into consideration that you’re from some rich family.”
“How much was I worth as a test subject?” she suddenly mused.
Ryker shrugged, looking at the bedsheets at the foot of his mattress. “A lot, I guess. They gave me a lot of things after I won, even gave me some unit on that recently finished skyscraper. I hated being there, in Surveillance 24/7. And you know what? I didn’t even last a month there. They pulled me out for tours and press reviews, and-and to experiment on me. I believe I’m far more dispensable than you are. They kept you for years and years-"
“You’re a werebear; you’re pretty rare as these werebeings come.”
“Dr. Delaney told me you were one of the rarest finds. Even if they found something from other werebeings, your blood was a source of study for over ten years. After we escaped, I knew most of the kids inside that place ended up dead. It’s been top secret for so many years, despite the persistent rumors of torturing children and killing them for the sake of the country.”
“We’ll die as secrets…” Alexia said, her voice close to a whisper.
He shook his head. “Even if we die as secrets, the important thing is that we’re free from them, far away from them. It’s all that matters at the moment.”
Alexia took an inaudible breath in.
Ryker moved from his mattress, sitting on the edge of the bed. Surprisingly, he took her hand and held it. “I’m here. We’re together.”
She found herself nodding, glad that it was dark. Her cheeks were warmer than they had been in days. There was something about Ryker’s touch, no matter how hesitant it was at first, which still welcomed her in the end.
“Isn’t it terrible? That you’re forced to be with me-"
Ryker shook his head. “I’m not forced to be with you; it’s contrary to what you think. I can’t leave you alone; I don’t know why I can’t, but I just can’t and I won’t. For as long as I’m still alive, I’ll be here.”
She smiled a little and grasped his hand tighter as if in gratitude for his reassurance. “Sleep beside me?” she suddenly asked.
“Aren’t you getting too used to this?” Ryker found himself joking.
She shook her head and laughed a little. “I don’t think I ever will be.”
*
It was something that Ryker found himself to like, something that he secretly prided himself on. The fact that he could make Alexia sleep immediately once he was beside her.
Ha, I really am a teddy bear, he thought wryly. He liked to look at her when she was asleep, especially if she was free of bad dreams. She looked cute.
Cute was the right word, wasn’t it? If Alexia had grown up in a normal, loving environment, she would have been the epitome of near perfection. She wasn’t bad looking; she was naturally smart, her emotional quotient was decent, and she was innately kind. Perhaps, Dr. Delaney had impacted Alexia’s psyche more than she would ever know.
The month-long travel together had changed Ryker somehow, and he wasn’t sure if he welcomed it. He suddenly wished it was hormonal changes, like what he had read in the library once when he questioned why his voice started to sound like a whiny girl’s at the age of thirteen.
It can’t be me crushing on her, right? He remembered crushing on a schoolmate back in Oregon. It was his first and last, he thought. Crushing was for juveniles. He knew he had come to a decent understanding of Alexia’s character, knew that she liked her fruits when they could have fruits, knew that she liked to keep warm, and he knew she had concern for him.
The look on her face every time he came back from some menial job was a look of relief. Relief that he probably survived the day without getting caught? Relief that she now had company? Alexia was far from clingy. It was as if she strove for independence whenever she could, afraid that she would be a burden to him. He had gotten used to having her around. He had gotten used to her needing him. It was a co-dependency that he liked yet disliked at the same time.
It’s just something new, he had told himself, it was a new feeling, a different one from what he felt for his parents. He had been the one that was being protected, and now he was protecting someone else. Ryker once thought he was taking it too far; all he had to do was keep her alive. He didn’t need to keep her warm, he didn’t need to feed her, he didn’t need to think of her all the time when he was away…
*
“You can’t leave, not yet…” Lydia’s voice was soft, almost pleading. It was early in the morning, not yet six, when Ryker hesitantly walked into the kitchen to see Lydia nursing a cup of coffee. Her eyes looked droopy, and her nose was red. For a moment there, Ryker had thought she had cried, then he realized she had colds.
“We’re not-" Ryker stopped. She knew they were leaving; they had said so themselves the other day, hadn’t they?
Ryker heard someone else cough in the house. Was John sick, too? He turned to face John, and lo and behold, he had the same puffy red nose and watery eyes.
“That trip outside yesterday got me feelin’ all sick,” he said. Ryker looked at Alexia and almost sighed.
“We’ll make breakfast for you,” Alexia quickly said. “Why don’t you…uhm…go back to resting?”
“You’d do that?” Lydia’s eyes briefly lit up.
“I learned a thing or two about pancakes. I hope you don’t mind pancakes again,” Alexia said.
“Juliet, you’re such a dear,” Lydia told her as she shuffled out of the kitchen along with John. Ryker saw them heading for the living room, and they turned on the television set, drinking coffee, sniffling the whole time.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Alexia whispered to Ryker as Ryker reached for a pan in a cupboard.
Ryker shook his head; he had a scowl on his face. “The longer we stay here, the more they’re in danger.”
“We can’t just leave them, not when they took us in and cared for us…”
“This is what I meant by not letting your morality come into play,” Ryker told her, shaking his head.
“I don’t care what you think. I’m making them pancakes.”
She didn’t back down, something he had never seen before. She was defying him. Her eyes said it all, and he didn’t like it one bit. He wanted to leave; he knew they would give them enough supplies to survive the next week or so.
She was letting her sentimentality come into play, and it irritated him. What good was it to force her to leave or just plainly leave without her? Alexia was his ticket to safety and, perhaps, to freedom, yet she was also a bridge for disaster; his possible death came
with Alexia’s constant presence.
He watched her as she deftly began flipping pancakes, like she had been doing this for a long time. She was tense, but she tried not to show it. For a split second, Ryker thought she had begun to learn how to lie or how to pretend she was alright. What if he couldn’t read through her anymore?
He shook his head and walked out of the kitchen to leave her alone before he could say something damaging. Taking a deep breath, he went to the living room to talk with the couple.
Alexia was annoyed. Was this how it felt? The longer she had been away from Sector 12, the more her personality changed. Was it for the better? She didn’t want to butt heads with Ryker; he was her constant companion, her protector, her source of warmth. He did all he could to help her, all those days of running and walking.
Couldn’t they just stay a couple more days? He was being unreasonable. She needed the Jamesons, and they needed them for whatever help they could render. They were an elderly couple who needed extra hands around. It was as if her feet were glued inside the house, and not once had she ventured out since they arrived three nights ago.
Ryker had told her he had scouted the perimeter when he repaired a fence. There was no one else for miles on end, but it made Ryker feel unsafe. Any attack on them could be unheard of, and it meant possible harm for the couple who graciously took them in. He was wary of the wolves that John had mentioned as well. They could be anywhere, they could be sniffed out, and they could be repressed like he had been once.
She found herself calming down after she had made her first batch of pancakes. She had no idea that kitchen work was soothing. Alexia began to contemplate asking Lydia to teach her to cook other things. She had seen a battered looking notebook with notes and recipes and wanted to make the couple happy.
Alexia couldn’t hear what Ryker was talking about; the television had drowned his voice. For a werebear, he sure could muster a whisper. She saw his hands moving, trying to express himself, and she knew he was having a difficult time explaining their situation. Alexia knew she would have a hard time, too. The Jamesons had been so nice to them…
Ryker went back into the kitchen, shaking his head. “We’re staying, but only until the end of the week,” he told her quickly. Then, he excused himself to feed the animals in the barn.
She smiled, feeling triumph. It was a reprieve, and she wanted this heaven to last for a little longer.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Ryker felt someone’s presence outside the barn, and he growled a little. Why was she becoming so stubborn? “I told you to stay inside,” he told her as he spun around.
“I thought you might need help,” Alexia stammered. She had finished making breakfast, letting the couple eat first so they could rest again. “Besides, breakfast’s ready.”
Ryker shook his head, placing his bucket of oats down on the dirt floor. “Fine.”
They walked quickly back into the house, with Ryker looking around warily. He had thought of hunting later on; any kind of mammal would do, as long as he could let the bear out. This was the problem with shifting. Once one shifted again, one needed to let the animal out every now and then. He certainly didn’t want to shift inside the house of the kind and elderly humans. He needed to appease his inner animal, as well, and not just shift.
His anger dissipated a little as he inhaled that familiar scent of pancakes and toasted bread with marmalade.
“We ran out of bacon,” Alexia said, “I wanted bacon. I never had it until the other day. Lydia says we’re going to town tomorrow to--"
She saw the look on Ryker’s face, and she knew it meant “no.” She let out a frustrated sigh. “I know it’s too much to ask…”
Ryker said nothing as he ate his pancakes in large bites. He gulped down some milk and reached to refill his glass. He had to eat while he could eat proper food. No one would judge him here.
“Ry-Sam, it’s only this one time. You know I’ve never been to--"
“This is the kind of behavior that leads them to us. A town is a town no matter how small; it’s filled with people, and people talk. Why do you think we travel at night if possible? Why do you think I hide you when people are around? Your face is everywhere. Even a disguise wouldn’t work.”
Alexia knew she was at the short end of the stick. Yes, that was the problem with being public enemy number one. Her face was everywhere. It was a miracle Lydia and John hadn’t seen her face on television yet. Or maybe they had and were making plans to report her to the authorities…
It filled her with dread. Anyone could be bought with the right price, and this couple could have a good exchange deal with the government in return for their heads. The rest of their breakfast was spent in silence. After cleaning up, Ryker headed out again, and Alexia followed suit.
He scowled. “God, is it so hard to understand what it means to stay in the house?”
“You can’t keep me cooped up inside. I need to do something else; I need to learn stuff.”
“Why don’t you go read a book?” Ryker snapped, still careful not to raise his voice.
“I need to learn other things, in person,” she responded.
“Look, I don’t want you getting nosebleeds and stuff, not while we’re here. They’ll keep asking, and that’ll be annoying, if not, dangerous.”
“Just for an hour. Please, just tell me what to do,” Alexia pleaded. “This is a whole new place for me. I didn’t even know what a barn was until we came here…”
Ryker huffed. “Fine. Grab that bucket. I haven’t fed the chickens yet.”
Alexia’s eyes widened in delight while Ryker looked on with mild annoyance and mild amusement. So, she had never seen live chickens surround her until today, and she had never seen real horses or real cows, and she realized they had slept on hay three nights ago. It was the same hay that was now neatly stacked, courtesy of Ryker.
“This is what you’ve been doing?”
“Yeah,” Ryker answered. Truth be told, Ryker enjoyed his moments of solitude inside the barn. It gave him some peace and quiet, and the animals behaved with him around. It was as if they knew that he could shift at any given moment and devour them whole if he wanted to. She grabbed a bucket, using both hands.
“Just throw the grains there,” he told her, suddenly feeling quite bossy.
Immediately, the chickens surrounded her, and she froze, hesitant to go closer. She watched them carefully, eating in a frenzy.
“They don’t bite. Good thing John doesn’t have any geese,” he said. “Come here, I’d like you to meet his horses.”
The barn was larger than she had remembered it to be; she looked at the ceiling, and it seemed cavernous against her frame. There were different stalls for different animals. She saw cows; it was also the first time she had seen cows.
“This is Jack and Jill,” Ryker told her, stroking one horse’s mane. Alexia hadn’t expected them to be that big. They towered over her in all their majestic glory.
“Do they bite?”
“If they don’t like you, they will,” Ryker said. Then, he saw the look on her face. “Just kidding. They’re pretty nice. I rode on Jack yesterday to check the fences.”
Alexia took a step closer, her hand hovering above the horse’s muzzle. The horse snorted, and she took a step back. “You think they know what we are?”
“You’re human. I think she knows what I can be, though. She wasn’t too keen with me yesterday. Go on closer,” he told her.
She took a breath and gingerly placed her hand on the horse’s muzzle this time. The horse then moved a little, and Alexia looked startled, but her hand didn’t leave the horse’s head. “She’s so beautiful…” she murmured, unable to believe she was face to face with a creature that was supposed to be so ordinary.
“I think she likes you,” Ryker grinned, a genuine grin at that. Alexia smiled back, her smile broader than before.
“Alright,” Ryker said. “We have a lot to do.”
They spent the rest of the
morning cleaning up the barn, feeding the rest of the animals and making sure everything was in order.
“I should get cleaned up,” Alexia said. “It’s almost lunch time.”
Ryker looked at her quizzically.
“I can’t cook a full meal yet,” Alexia said, her eyes narrowing. “Lydia’s gonna have to get up.”
“Don’t poison me,” Ryker told her.
“Are you joking?” Alexia said, her eyes glinting with amusement.
“No,” Ryker shooed her away.
She smiled as she left. Ryker waited until she was back inside the house before closing the barn door. It was a bit warm for him, but he didn’t want the rest of the animals feeling cold. He eyed the small forklift in one corner and decided he could give it a try. Back when he worked for Mr. Toretti, some of his guys used to teach him simple repairs for machinery, the same machines they used to kill undesirables or for people who couldn’t pay debts. He knew John kept some tools in a small cabinet, and he decided to give it a try.
An hour later, he got it working. It was a proud moment, strangely enough. He felt prouder than he had about all those moments of surviving. He walked back to the house, the scent of food wafting in the air. Lydia was giving Alexia instructions, alternating between standing and sitting down on a chair. Alexia was stirring something in a large pot.
“Did you make meatloaf from scratch?” Ryker asked her incredulously, his mouth watering.
Alexia shook her head and laughed a little. “Lydia made that. I just cut stuff up and mixed stuff together.”
Lydia smiled proudly as if teaching her own daughter some kitchen magic. “She’s a fast learner, I guarantee you.”
Lunch had been a pleasant experience for Ryker and Alexia. There were no awkward questions from the couple about their situation. Alexia asked about farm work and about the animals. A little later on, Ryker led John to the barn to show him his handiwork. It seemed that John’s eyes misted up, seeing his old forklift brought back to life.