I felt bad lying to them, but I couldn’t face them right now. “I just need a bit of fresh air. I’ll be out on the porch.”
Shane looked over his shoulder, but quickly turned back to the stove. Cole’s dark eyes narrowed. He took a swig of his drink, pursing his lips as he considered me. I held my breath, waiting for him to call me out, to realize the truth, but he didn’t. He nodded.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I stepped outside. The cold fall air had me shivering in seconds in the dress that didn’t cover nearly enough for this weather. By the time Suzie pulled up, I was nearly frozen. After a quick, sorrowful glance backwards, I sprinted out to her car, climbing into the passenger seat right as the front door opened.
“Just drive,” I said, the tears chasing each other down my cheeks.
She grabbed my hand, squeezing it gently as she sped off.
Chapter 16
Shane
“Dammit!” I slapped the corner of the granite island. The piece buckled beneath my force before cracking and falling to the floor in one chunk.
“Breaking the furniture isn’t going to help,” Cole snapped.
“I just can’t believe she fuckin’ left.” My breathing was labored, my muscles tense. I was barely holding onto my control.
“We weren’t exactly giving her an incentive to stay.”
“What the hell does that mean?” I turned, glarin’ darts at my best friend.
“It means we were pretty damn cold to her before she walked out the door.” Cole’s hands fisted and unfisted at his side. It was clear that he was just as upset, probably barely containing his panther too.
As much as I hated to admit it, he was right. I took a deep breath. “How the hell am I supposed to take it when the woman I love doesn’t love me the same?”
Cole looked away, starin; at the contents of the pot. He went over and turned off the stove so it didn’t burn any more than it already had. “She never said she loved us. Even the song she sang talked about what we had done for her, never about what she planned to do for us.”
I knew what we felt for her was stronger, but damn if it didn’t slap me in the face. “I know,” I conceded. “I was just hopin’ once we bit her, she’d miraculously take to us I guess.”
We stared at each other. I knew we both felt the pain of loss, in havin’ Karley walk away. This was the bonding time. We were supposed to grow closer, not further apart from this. Anxiety dug at me. I longed to chase my mate and drag her back, but the rational part of me knew it wouldn’t do any good. She had to come back on her own, not because someone forced her to.
“So what now?” Cole asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Fuck if I know.” I shrugged. A moment of silence passed between us.
“What are we going to tell our parents?”
I’d forgotten about their planned visit. “The truth always worked for me.”
Cole’s brow shot up.
“Okay, so it worked when it came to family.”
Cole nodded. He knew I didn’t lie unless it was necessary. Whether not disclosin’ our current contract, the true reason for their being here in Mount Bluff, was the right move with Karley or not remained to be seen.
I picked up the piece of granite off the floor, starin’ at it in the palm of my hand. I’d never been so twisted, so turned upside down over a woman. I’d hear the stories, we all had; I knew when you scented a mate it was strong, but never did I imagine it’d consume me.
“We have to get her back,” I stated.
“How?” His eyes sparkled for a second, revealing his inner turmoil.
As horrible as it sounded, I was glad I wasn’t suffering alone. “We’ll figure something out.”
He nodded, a moment of mutual understandin’ between us. I turned off the stove.
“Let’s go for a run. Maybe a game of catcher and prey will help take our minds off of things.” I slapped his shoulder on my way to the door.
“I call catcher,” Cole said.
“Good luck catchin’ me.” I tore off my clothes, tossin’ them just inside the door before I took off towards the woods, away from the ranch hands’ bunk.
The second I crossed into the forest I shifted, ready to run away from the pain, away from the anger of knowing I’d fucked up with Karley.
Chapter 17
“You ready to talk about it, honey?” Suzie asked, handing me a cup of coffee. She sat at my dining room table, wary of leaving me behind given my upset.
“They were great,” I said, unable to inject any cheeriness in the statement.
“So then what’s the problem? Why did I have to go pick you up after midnight on a work night?” she pressed, sitting in the chair beside me with her own cup of Joe.
“Can I trust you with the intimate details of it?”
“Have I ever betrayed you?”
I shook my head ‘no.’ Suzie had never done anything like that. She’d been a constant friend and confidant.
“When Shane tried to go down on me, I had a panic attack.”
“Oh, honey.” She immediately set down her cup and gathered my hand between both of hers. “Are you okay?”
“Yea. They were wonderful. They talked me off the ledge and after it was really…” I sighed, looking directly at her. “It was perfect, Suz; they were perfect.”
“You wouldn’t run if it was perfect,” she stated, squeezing my hand lightly before releasing me.
“When I woke up, they… well I… They wanted this to be a more permanent thing and I sort of freaked out a bit. They weren’t happy that I didn’t feel the same. I saw them shut down. It was like looking at myself. They put up this wall, and they didn’t give me the cold shoulder, but weren’t exactly warm anymore either.”
“What did you expect, honey. You’d just crushed them. Those men adore you.”
“I don’t know. I guess I expected them to be more patient. I didn’t tell them that I didn’t want to stay with them, I just didn’t say I wanted to take things slow either.” I shrugged.
“You know what I think? I think you need to give yourself some time. You need to figure out what you really want in life, what you really want in a relationship before you go breaking hearts.”
I gave her a small smile. “I never saw myself as the kind to break hearts, only get my heart broken.”
“It’s been an emotional forty-eight hours for you. Take your time, just don’t wait too long. They won’t be here much longer.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “What do you mean?”
She patted my hand. “That’s for another conversation entirely. Get some sleep. Take the next couple days off still, and I’ll talk to you later.” She stood, grabbing her nearly empty cup of coffee with her.
“But I really can’t afford to take the time off without pay. I meant to talk to you about that anyways.”
“Honey, I love you, but I can’t have you moping around my store. You’re never going to sell any of those damn romance novels with that attitude.”
“I won’t be. I promise.”
“Take it from me, you’ll need the time. I don’t think the full implications of what you’ve done has hit you yet. Call me if you need anything.” She placed her hand on my shoulder as she passed me to set her mug in the sink before letting herself out.
I looked around my empty apartment. It felt like I hadn’t been here in years. The hollowness of the place chilled me. I’d never felt so lonely, been so lost, even after what happened with my father.
I sat there for a while, thinking over the last couple days. How did I go from smiling to crying? How did I lose everything all over again? It wasn’t anything that they’d done. It was me. For the first time, I had to admit to myself that I’d sabotaged myself this whole time. No one else was keeping me tethered to the phone every day at 2 p.m. No one was stopping me from going out and having fun. No one was preventing me from being in a relationship. No one was slapping smiles off my face, except me. I was the one holding myself back from experienc
ing life. I’d drowned myself in a world of self-pity all from one night. No, I’d never forget. No, I couldn’t just turn off my emotions, the scars from the past, but I could stop myself from having a brighter future, and that’s exactly what I’d done.
“Oh God. I’ve been so stupid.” I threw my head into my hands. How could I have been so reckless with the only men to get past my barriers, the ones who were just trying to give me what I’d always wanted: happiness.
I swallowed hard. I knew what I had to do. I didn’t have time to waste. I had to go after them. I finally had to take control of my life and go after what I wanted. No more sitting back and letting life pass me by; I was finally ready to live it, to embrace the ups, downs and all the happiness in between.
I went to take a shower and change. I took the extra time to blow dry my hair so I didn’t get sick. I’d already run that risk by standing outside in forty-degree weather. I dabbed a bit of make-up on my face to cover up my Rudolph nose. I threw on the new jeans I’d grabbed while out with Suzie, which I was proud to admit showed off the curves I was once embarrassed about. I layered a tank beneath a long-sleeved shirt. I put on a hoodie and scarf, grabbed my purse and keys and left to chase my happiness.
Chapter 18
My heart pounded the whole drive there. I was running the risk that they wouldn’t want me back; that they’d shut me out forever. I turned off my lights as I pulled up to their house, parking off to the side.
I was shaking as I walked up the steps, and it wasn’t because of the temperature drop. I lifted my hand to knock, but the door swung open. Cole stood before me. He’d put on flannel pajama pants though he remained shirtless; his muscles gleaming in the moonlight.
Movement off to the side caught my eye. Shane came towards the door, standing in similar plaid bottoms. They stared at me, their faces not giving me any hints as to what they were feeling. They’d put up their guard.
I swallowed past my fear. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but it would hopefully be worth it. “I’m sorry. I understand why you’re upset, but you jumped to conclusions. I never said I didn’t want more with you. The time I’ve had with both of you has been the happiest in my entire life. You’ve been so patient and wonderful with me. You’re the brightest part of my day. Slowly, you’ve turned my world upside down; you’ve worked your way into my heart. I can’t say I love you yet, but you’re the closest thing to love I know, and I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you, either one of you.”
I watched relief wash over them. Cole pulled me to him, framing my face and capturing my lips. My lips tingled beneath his touch as my anxiety washed away. I dropped my purse to slide my arms around his neck, hooking him. I wasn’t going to let him go ever again. He pressed his body against mine, the hard plains of him glued to my soft layers. He teased my mouth apart as he swept his tongue along mine. His touch conveyed so much. He was rough, as if he couldn’t get enough of me, as if he’d gone so long without me and was happy to finally get me back, but was worried I’d leave again. But he was also gentle, his muscles straining to hold back, to take his time and enjoy the feel of us together.
I slowly let go, breaking the kiss into smaller pecks. I unbound my arms, running my hands down to his chest. I leaned in and pressed my lips over his heart as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He lifted my chin, kissing my forehead lightly. “I love you,” he said. I smiled.
I turned towards Shane, but he walked away. I bit my lower lip as I watched him make busy work for himself by doing dishes. He was avoiding me. Shane’s barriers were always tougher to break through. He was so much more like me. Where Cole was more welcoming, Shane forced you to work your way into his circle.
“Go get him.” Cole nodded his head towards Shane. I shook my head, following him into the kitchen.
I walked over to Shane, wrapping myself around him from behind. I placed several kisses along his back and shoulders. “I’m sorry.” He grunted. I chuckled against him. That was in line with his character. The fact that he reacted at all was a good sign though.
He wanted to play hard ball, well so could I. I ran my fingers along the waist of his pants. When he kept scrubbing the same dish he’d been scrubbing since I walked over, I dipped my hands beneath the elastic of his boxers. His hands froze, mid-stroke on the already clean pot. I trailed my hands around his hips and to the patch of hair nestled in his center. I smiled when his muscles tightened expectantly. I slid down over his length, wrapping my hand around him as I moved. I heard his breath hitch when my other hand teased his sac. I strengthened my grip on his member, adding a bit of pressure as I squeezed up and down his hardening erection.
Shane dropped the pot and sponge, the clanging of the dishes reverberating. He gripped the counter. I backed away, leaving him hanging. “You ready to acknowledge me now?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
He turned around, his chest rising and falling with above normal exertion. His features were taut, his pants tented in the middle. I smiled up at him, a brow raised in question.
“You’re askin’ for it, darlin’.”
“Asking for what?” I moved closer, running a single finger from his collar bone and down the center of him, hooking his pants once I reached them.
I watched him, never looking away from his green eyes as they darkened with every inch I bared of his skin. I lowered to my knees once his cock had sprung free. I fastened it within my fist, sticking my tongue out to taste the tip of him. I kissed the head of him lightly. Knowing I needed to shock the hell out of him, I slid my hand down to the base of him. In one lithe move, I took all of him into my mouth.
“Shit!” The air whooshed out of his lungs as his hips thrust forward, pushing him deeper. I chuckled around him.
I quickly fell into a steady rhythm, but it was much too slow for him, and I knew it. His knuckles turned white as they gripped the counter, enduring his torture. With a growl, he pulled me up to him, his lips crushing mine. His hands made quick work of the buttons on my jeans. He broke away, cursing when they got stuck on my ass as he fought to yank them down. I laughed. I stopped the second I heard them ripping.
“Hey! These are new.”
“I’ll buy you another pair.” A moment later my panties were torn away just the same. “These too,” he added.
He pulled me into him, lifting me into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me over to the island, setting me down on the cold surface. I felt Cole behind me, undoing my scarf. I leaned away from Shane as Cole took off all three layers at once, leaving me in just my bra, which he immediately unhooked and peeled away. His hands went to my breasts, working my nipples into stiff peaks.
Shane slid his fingers over my mound, slipping inside to test if I was ready for him. He pushed me back into Cole, who captured my lips the second I was on my back. I moaned when Shane’s hot mouth came down on my pussy, his tongue going right for my clit. Between Cole’s thumbs brazing my nipples and Shane assaulting my nerve endings, my body wound tight before I quickly shot over the edge, crying out in surprise at how fast I achieved an orgasm.
I screeched when Shane turned me over, his cock penetrating my pussy from behind in one straight shot. My pussy burned, still trying to get used to a male invading it, but as he continued to thrust, it slowly gave way to enjoyment. My breasts and stomach were pressed to the cold counter, my nipples tingled as the forced of Shane from behind me scraped them along the surface, eliciting pleasure. I lifted my head in a moan. It was then that I noticed Cole had stripped. I reached out, molding my hand to his cock. He moved forward and I drew him between my lips, my mouth and hand swiftly falling into a steady rhythm.
My eyes widened when Shane smacked my butt cheek, the burn sending a shot of pleasure to my core. Cole ran his fingers through my hair, tugging at my roots and pressing me further down on him at the same time. Their grunts and groans twisted inside me; knowing that I was bringing them pleasure heightened my own. I felt my body tightening, preparing
to be thrown over the edge again. The feel of them, penetrating me at both ends, nearly overwhelmed me.
“Damn. I’m close,” Cole ground out. I increased the suction of my mouth, drawing my name from his lips in a mangled purr. Within seconds I felt his come cover my tongue, the salty sweetness of it attacking my taste buds as I swallowed all of him. We were both panting by the time he pulled out.
Shane released me, turning me over again and slamming home in less than five seconds. I cried out as he hit my cervix, my body recoiling, building even higher. Cole sucked one breast while his hand abraded the other, nearly undoing me. The second Shane pressed his finger to my clit, I came crashing down. I cried out as I felt my channel spasm around his bulging cock; my legs shook beneath the pressure. Moments later he howled his own release, moving until the last of his seed was seated deep within me.
I dropped my head backwards, trying to steady my heavy breathing. I felt their lips pressing kisses over me. The second Shane pulled out, I felt the soreness in my thighs. I groaned as they helped me sit up, my body fighting them the entire way. He draped me in his arms, covering my mouth with his. I felt my rear be boosted, as he carried me away.
One minute I was tethered to him being kissed senseless, the next I stood between the two of them in their large stone and glass shower under a hot waterfall. The heat immediately hit my tender muscles. I moaned, leaning my head against his chest. Cole lathered my back with soap before massaging my aching shoulders.
“Oh, God, I’m in heaven,” I sighed. They laughed.
Shane tilted my head towards him. “I’m sorry for being so rough.”
“I liked it. I’ll be in pain for who knows how long, but it was worth it.” I kissed him gently before rocking back into Cole’s talented fingers working out the knots.
“Let’s get her washed before she collapses,” Cole said, running his lips along the side of my neck.
“I’ll be fine,” I slurred, my limbs relaxing. I buckled my knees to remain upright.
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