by Katee Robert
She shuddered, hating that the word pictures he painted aroused her so much. Even knowing he was furious and probably hated her, her traitorous body quivered at his low, raspy voice. “You don’t understand. I thought it was the only way for you to ever see me as a woman, as someone you could…be intimate with.”
“Wrong answer. Unless you were playing a role last night, too.”
Every word he said scorched her skin like lashes from a whip. She had to convince him that she wasn’t the woman he now believed her to be. Somehow.
“How can you be certain the rest of this would’ve happened if I hadn’t been at that party? Even with the costume and the makeup and the flirtation, I’m still the same Steff. Maybe some part of you even knew that, one you didn’t acknowledge.” When he looked away, she pressed on. She’d screwed up horrendously, and the only way to fix it was to somehow make him understand the crappy logic that had made her risk everything. “A corset and a face mask don’t change what it meant. You know exactly how real it was.”
“Boy, you must’ve had an incredible laugh at my expense. Poor, dumb Landon…too stupid to know he’s screwing his best friend.” Her eyes smarted as he chuckled, shaking his head. “Tell me the truth for once. Craig was in on it, too, wasn’t he?”
“Craig didn’t know anything about it,” she insisted to Landon’s back as he grabbed his tie off the floor. “I swear.”
“You know why I went to that party? One reason only. I wanted to stop thinking about you. So I tried to lose myself in someone else for the first time in forever. Big freaking mistake.” He stabbed his fingers into his eyes, his shoulders slumping. “Then last night, being with you seemed like a fucking gift I didn’t deserve. I felt so goddamned guilty about staying away from you this past year that I would’ve done anything to keep from hurting you again. And you lied right to my face,” he whispered.
Even as hope surged from his confession about not being with a woman for a while, her agony at his obvious pain trumped it. “No, I swear I never meant for it to happen this way. I wanted to tell you. God, I imagined all the ways I could actually say the words, but I was so afraid of losing you for good—”
“Oh, right. You were afraid.” He nodded. “It was so wrong of me to shut down and not tell you my feelings. When you’re scared it’s okay. When I’m sc—” He broke off and let out a long, unsteady breath. “You know what? Forget it.” His quiet, hollow tone shattered the last of her composure. “Evidently I don’t even know you.”
“That’s not true. You do know me, better than anyone. I just made a horrible mistake. I’m so sorry.”
He didn’t respond. Instead he picked up his discarded pair of pants from last night and fumbled something out of the pocket. He held her rose quartz earring up to the light and goose bumps rose on her arms, though not from the temperature. “I carried this around for a week and a half, hoping I’d find the owner before I decided to move on to someone I thought was more honest. I found the match in your jewelry box.”
He tossed the earring at her and it fell onto her navy comforter. The bright rosy glimmer made her eyes sting even more. The night of the party, she’d so foolishly hoped the quartz’s fabled ability to bring love into a person’s life would actually work. How had she ever believed those earrings were magic? They’d helped seal her fate. “Landon, please, if you’d just listen to reason…”
“Sorry, I’ll pass. I thought you cared about me, that we had a chance to build something real. But if that were true, you wouldn’t have made me feel cheaper than an one-hour stand.”
When he turned, she lunged off the bed, desperate to find an outlet for her self-directed anger and frustration. “None of this was supposed to happen this way. I screwed up, okay? I know it. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to—” One glance at his shuttered expression and she realized she wouldn’t be getting through to him. Once again.
At a loss, she snatched her costume tail—she should’ve burned the damn thing before—and strode toward the bathroom. Screw it. She’d destroy the physical evidence of that night, if nothing else.
She shoved the faux red fur in the bowl and hit the plunger. A frightening gurgle later, the thing was gone. And all she could do was stare at the circling water, her mind whirling just as fast.
“You think it’s that easy? One flush and it’s over?”
Lan sounded so tired. Beyond exhausted. She’d driven him to that point. Whatever her reasons, they seemed pretty worthless when she looked over her shoulder into his strained green eyes. Your fault.
“I wish,” she managed.
“Me too.” After a minute, he turned and walked out of her bedroom, shutting the bedroom door with a soft finality she didn’t miss.
Probably walking out of her life with the same finality, too. And this time, it would stick.
Steff cupped her palms to her face and fought to steady her ragged breathing. The ominous burble from the toilet told her she couldn’t wallow long.
A sob threatened to burst free. God, she’d been so close to getting everything she’d ever dreamed of. Even with the lie between them, she’d had hope that they could actually build something strong and unbreakable once she told him the truth. As scared as she’d been, after last night she’d felt closer to him than she ever had to anyone.
A couple more tears sneaked free as she opened the cabinet beneath the sink. Just as he’d tried to make it right after what he’d done, so would she. Somehow she would fix her mistake. She wouldn’t let anything come between them ever again. She needed to be 100 percent honest and put her feelings on the line.
The time had come for her big risk. And this time she wasn’t going to choke.
Sighing, she tugged out the plunger. She had a long day ahead of her with her students, including a fun—usually it was fun—day of reading Halloween-themed stories to get ready for the holiday that was now only two days away. Then she would figure out how to approach Landon.
First, though, she had a toilet to unclog.
…
Landon stewed through the morning, then through lunch. By three o’clock, he decided he’d had enough.
He’d come to a number of conclusions throughout the day, most of them revolving around what he knew to be true about Steff after being by her side for the better part of a decade. She wasn’t a user. She also never lied when directly confronted about something. If she claimed to have been too scared to approach him as herself, odds were it was true.
And odds were, if she had approached him as herself—especially last winter and spring when he’d been in hard-core denial mode—he would’ve shut her down. He hadn’t been willing to consider the possibility back then that maybe they would work. Forget maybe. After the party and last night, he knew it without a doubt. Together, they were dynamite.
He’d fucked up by running. She’d fucked up by lying. Did those fuckups cancel each other out?
Craig would probably say so.
Grimacing, Landon pushed aside the files on his desk. Work wasn’t happening today. He needed to stop pretending to put a dent in his caseload and he had to get to the bottom of things with Craig. If he was going to lose his two best friends in one fell swoop, he intended to make it happen now.
Craig wasn’t in his office, and his secretary said he’d taken the afternoon off for “personal reasons.” Since Landon had a feeling his good buddy’s personal reasons probably had something to do with the mess at Steff’s, he headed to her place first.
Landon pressed his fingertips into his sore eyes. The longer this went on, the more ridiculous he became. Steff might’ve changed enough to don a sexy fox costume—Christ, had it been sexy—but she hadn’t turned into a whole new person. Despite everything he’d accused her of this morning, he knew she wouldn’t bounce back and forth between him and Craig. She just wouldn’t.
He pulled up to Steff’s, and sure enough, Craig’s car was at the end of the drive. Her Superman in suspenders had shown up to bail her out once more.
<
br /> It looked like he’d lucked out, since Steff’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Anger and pain corroding his stomach like acid, he slammed out of the car and headed up to the front stoop. He didn’t bother to knock. He tried the knob, found it open, and aimed for the master bedroom.
God, he’d woken up that morning thinking he held a miracle in his arms. It would take a lot of work to get back to where they’d been, but he’d been ready to do it. All that mattered was that he’d gotten his Steff back again.
He’d honestly believed they were on the verge of starting something serious. How was he supposed to just let that go? Let her go?
The more he thought about it, the more he realized he’d given her few options. He’d pushed her out of his life. She’d tried to talk to him, to find ways for them to spend more time together alone last winter, and he’d just closed the door.
Now he had to open it again.
In the master bedroom’s en suite bathroom, he found his other best friend on his knees with his hands in the bowl.
Landon leaned against the doorjamb. “I should’ve brought you a pair of rubber gloves.”
Craig shot him a dark look and rose to wash his hands. A wide range of plumbing apparatuses littered the floor around the toilet, but Craig appeared to be finished. “Dude, you are on thin ice.”
Since Landon couldn’t disagree, he nodded. “Thanks for handling it. Where is she?”
“Work. Where I should be, if not cleaning up your messes. Literal in this case.”
He could’ve quibbled that he hadn’t technically flushed the tail, but he was pretty sure Craig didn’t care. “I know. I appreciate it, man.” Landon gave the toilet a testing crank of the handle. It flushed with barely a whine. “Wow, sounds better than when it was new. Where did you learn to fix johns?”
“Google. Where else?” Craig grabbed a sheaf of paper towels and dried his hands. “There weren’t a lot of vids on how to get tails out of toilets, but I managed to cobble stuff together.” He slipped on the chunky fraternity ring he’d left on the sink. “My old man worked as a plumber for a while in college. Did I ever tell you that?”
“No.” Landon eyed him cautiously. Talking about Rick Connolly tended to be a double-edged sword with Craig. He loved and missed him, of course, but his bitterness over his parents’ death and the circumstances around it probably wouldn’t ever completely fade. “From plumbing to corporate finance. Big leap.”
“Yep. About as big as your leap to playing bucking bunny with Steff. So…she was your fox, huh?”
Landon frowned. “Why do you sound like you don’t know for sure?”
“How the hell would I know? Women are inexplicable. I don’t ask their business and expect the same courtesy in return.” Landon rolled his eyes as Craig continued. He was obviously on a roll. “Fine, I asked, but she didn’t want to ‘get into it’ with me. Air quotes added. However, after taking into account last night’s tongue twister at the club and the earring that I may or may not have seen on the bedroom floor—”
Landon strode into Steff’s bedroom and did a quick search, finally seeing the glimmer of pink crystal beneath the edge of the comforter. Steff hadn’t made the bed, which was completely unlike her. Either she’d run out of time or she’d been too upset to bother.
Wishful thinking on his part, probably.
He grabbed the earring, then walked over to take its match from the jewelry box. Why it felt like he needed both right now, he didn’t know. Two halves of the whole that made up his mystery woman. And his best friend. Together, they were magic. Both earrings, both sides of Steff. Maybe even him and Steff, together, if he could find a way to put all of this aside and get her back. Again. This time for keeps.
“Not sure it’s your style,” Craig said over his shoulder. “Maybe start off with posts?”
“Ass.”
“Moron.” Craig clamped his beefy arms over his chest and slowly shook his head. “What kind of jerk has a lady like Steff wrapped all around him, and then tears up the sheets with her like that”—he inclined his chin at the bed while Landon stared at his shoes—“before breaking her toilet and running off?”
“Her toilet’s fine now,” Landon muttered.
Craig snorted and said nothing.
Landon scraped his fingers over the stubble he’d neglected to shave that morning. Dammit, the more they talked, the more sure he was that Craig was right. He was a complete asshole. All the insane theories he’d floated—that Craig and Steff had been in cahoots and maybe even involved, that she’d wanted to get revenge on him for ditching their friendship, or that he’d just been another notch on her bedpost—weren’t worth the sand in that little bag of potpourri. Steff would never be deliberately cruel. He’d never believe it.
Leaving like he had—yet again—was a dick move. Yes, she’d definitely crossed some lines the other night, but he hadn’t left her a lot of choice. She could be shy, and she didn’t trust him half as much as she once had. Seducing him in that slinky fox costume was the only way she’d felt comfortable approaching him. No other explanation made sense.
Landon strode over to the bed and sat on the edge, then braced his elbows on his knees and let his head fall in his hands. He could smell Steff’s soap and it was screwing with his head. His throat grew tight and hot, and his eyes burned. Must be allergic to it or something.
Craig sat beside him and for a few minutes they didn’t speak. He must look like he was in sorry shape if Craig wasn’t razzing him.
“I only have one question,” Craig said finally. “Are you serious about her, man?”
Landon lifted his head and nodded. “More than I’ve ever been about anyone.” He could barely speak around the stupid lump he couldn’t swallow away. “I can’t run from it anymore.”
“Good. If you did run, I’d hunt you down and kick your ass.”
“I’d deserve it. But I’m not going anywhere. Not unless she shows me the door.”
“Make sure she doesn’t. If you don’t make this right with her, you deserve to be alone. And don’t come crying to me, because I won’t be there with the plunger next time.”
Landon couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of his chest like a valve releasing. “You realize what you’re saying, right? Me and Steff, together, in an actual relationship? If we somehow figure this out, you won’t feel like a spare tire?” he asked, punching Craig in his annoyingly rock-hard abs.
Craig shoved him back. “Third wheel, dumbass. And no, I won’t. You’ve both been mooning around since last year, so I’d be fucking ecstatic if things got back to normal and the three of us could catch a movie without it being weird. Though it might get awkward if I rip off your nuts due to you two canoodling or some shit in front of me.” Craig clapped him on the back. “And that, son, is the extent of the advice you’ll get from me today. I have a date.”
“A date?” Landon followed Craig into the bathroom. “You’re supposed to be at work.”
“It’s called personal time. Besides, I did my good deed for the day. First toiletries, now I’m meeting up with the Grecian babe from the party.” He waggled his brows. “We’re eating in.”
Landon just bet they were. “Your life is so uncomplicated. I envy you sometimes.”
The words escaped before he realized what a moronic statement it was. Craig seemed happy for the most part now, but he’d had to fight like hell to get there. His past had put him through the wringer, and Landon suspected that was partly why Craig never invested much in his relationships, either. They were alike that way. It was so much easier to walk than to risk it all.
And so much more unsatisfying. He’d never give up what he’d found with Steff without putting everything he had on the line. If that didn’t work? He’d keep trying. Taking off simply wasn’t an option anymore. That ache in his throat and sting in his eyes proved it. It had only been a matter of hours and he already missed her immeasurably. She was it for him. And this time, he wasn’t letting her go.
“Ye
ah, right, Lan. Don’t envy me.” An uncharacteristic shadow passed through his buddy’s light blue eyes before he bent to gather up his tools. “You’re the one who’s about to score the most perfect girl either one of us has ever known. So go do it already.”
“On it. Look, I’m sorry for what I just said—”
Craig waved him off. “Just go, all right?”
Landon hesitated. “Thanks, man. For everything.”
“No problem. Now split already.”
“I’m outta here.”
Landon strode to the door. Working things out with Steff wouldn’t be quite as easy as Craig thought. It was almost Halloween, so that meant he had to work fast. Luckily, he already had an idea.
God help them both.
Chapter Nine
It was Halloween night, and she was stuffing herself back into the leather corset that had gotten her into the mess in the first place. After tonight, she’d probably light this corset on fire. Or she’d remove a couple of ribs so it freaking fit.
As hard as it had been to wait a couple of days, she’d wanted to give Landon time to cool down and gain some perspective. She had, too. The outfit was just phase one.
After doing battle with the contraption, Steff faced herself in the mirror and reached for her hairbrush. She wasn’t doing herself up in full fox regalia tonight. No makeup, uncurled hair, and absolutely no tail. That thing had been taken out with the trash where it belonged.
Tonight she was just going with the corset, crotchless tights, fringed skirt, and—woe her arches—the stiletto boots. Even lip gloss was off-limits.
As for the earrings, she couldn’t find them. After their fight when he’d flung the one she’d lost at the party, she’d thought she set them aside. Apparently not, because they’d vanished.