‘He’s too meticulous to have done that. He wanted to be sure I was OK.’
‘No. The Alex I know would never have taken a woman to his home in that situation for fear she’d get the wrong impression. He’s always been very careful not to lead anyone on.’
Yeah, she knew that—for him it was ‘just sex, just fun’.
‘But it seems you’ve got the totally wrong impression anyway.’ Lorenzo pulled out the chair beside her and sat. ‘I don’t like to see my friend hurting. Seems to me you’re not that happy, either.’
Dani shook her head. For her it hadn’t been just sex. It had been everything. Deep inside her that flicker of hope had refused to be snuffed. Lorenzo’s words made it burn brighter than the sun. It took her three minutes to summon up courage to ask him. ‘Do you think he meant it?’
‘I think you need to ask him that yourself.’
Her heart thudded, more adrenalin flooding her than that time she’d been too scared to even blink. Could she ask him?
It was then that she realised just how brave her mother had been—to take the chance, to want to believe, every time. Even if it meant her heart might get squished. She’d always tried; she’d always taken the risk.
Dani had fought so long to be strong. To be independent. But now she saw she hadn’t been at all. She was exactly what Alex had said—a coward. Had he been right about other things too?
She thought about Jack—his life had ended way before it should have. Her mother had died too young too. So she had to take the chance—she had to do it for them—she had to be brave and take life’s risks on.
Dani turned to Lorenzo. ‘Can I ask a favour?’
Alex worked late again. Left a message for his housekeeper to leave his dinner in the fridge; he’d microwave it later. The little he could be bothered eating tasted no good anyway. After nine, he walked out onto the balcony off his office, not caring about how cold and dark it was out there. Just needed the chill wind to whistle into his ears and blank out the angry voice yelling at him. His angry voice—berating himself for screwing it up so royally. And then the smaller voice wondered how on earth he was going to fix it. Nothing could stop the thoughts. Nothing numbed the pain from the knives twisting inside.
Eventually the freezing air bit hard enough to send him back indoors. He walked faster when he heard his mobile ringing. He picked it up just before it went to the answering machine. ‘What?’
‘Where the hell have you been?’ Lorenzo bellowed.
Alex’s brows rose and he held the phone a little from his ear. ‘For a walk.’
‘Without your phone?’ Lorenzo never sounded emotional and here he was practically screeching at him.
Alex iced up inside, as well as out. ‘What is it?’
‘She called me. Wanted to set it up. But she’s been there for ages.’
‘Been where?’ Damn it, couldn’t Lorenzo make sense?
‘Look at your computer—I sent you the link. You’re supposed to be slaving at your desk, not getting fresh flipping air.’
Alex clicked the link and watched as the live webcast came on. No way.
‘You’d better get moving, Alex. She’s been waiting fifteen minutes already. She probably thinks you aren’t coming.’
Alex swore. ‘Why the hell is she in the lift?’
‘It was her idea.’
Alex chucked the phone and ran.
Whichever daytime TV shrink it was who said confronting your fears was the way to free yourself needed to see a shrink themselves, because Dani was so not getting over her fears right now. Not any of them. In fact, they were worsening with every passing second. She had visions of herself riding up and down in the elevator for days—slowly starving, leaving only a skeleton for the security men to discover in ten months’ time. Never mind the reality that only tomorrow people would arrive for work and find her there—a complete saddo but still alive. No, right now she’d rather indulge in the total drama girl-lost-in-lift-for-ever nightmare.
And when Alex found out he’d wince, hadn’t realised he’d hurt her so much—he hadn’t meant to, of course…thought she’d understood it was just an arrangement. Bed buddies and all that.
Because he hadn’t meant it. He didn’t want her.
If he did, he’d be here already.
She wiped her eye quickly, outraged that the tear had actually escaped her brimming rims. She never cried. Never, never, never.
Only now there was another tear. And another, and they wouldn’t stop.
She turned her back to the damn camera and fished in her pocket. Double damn. No hanky, no tissue. Never necessary because she never cried. So she had to swish them away with her fingers again and sniff.
Ugh.
Now her fingers had black smudges on them because the mascara she’d applied with such excited care was running everywhere.
Great.
The lift wasn’t even going up and down anymore. She couldn’t be bothered getting up to press the buttons. Instead she just scrunched down, her back against the wall, her feet tucked underneath her. Lorenzo would probably take pity on her some time soon and come and tell her to give up and get out.
Yeah, it had happened. The lift was going up again. She buried her face in her hands, not wanting to see him. Beyond humiliated, beyond scared, she breathed short and fast, trying to hold back the wail that wanted release. If only she could ease the pain.
Large hands grasped her wrists and pulled hard, hauling her out of the lift.
‘Can you breathe? Can you breathe, Dani?’
Alex. Oh, God, it was Alex. She could hardly see him through the tears streaming, but she felt his heat, his strength. She heard him.
‘You’re crying.’ He sounded shocked. ‘It’s OK, honey, you’re not in there anymore. You’re out of there.’ His hands rubbed over her back, pulling her hard against his strong frame. Oh, he was so warm. ‘You’re safe, Dani. You’re safe.’
She hiccupped. He thought she was upset because she’d been in the lift? ‘That’s…that’s not why I’m crying.’
His hands slowed on her back, relaxing the pressure, and she was able to pull away enough to tilt her head and look him in the eyes. ‘I thought you weren’t coming.’
For a moment she watched as he froze completely—his gaze boring into her. Then she couldn’t bear it anymore and buried her face back in his chest. Too bad if he cared—his shirt was getting a soaking. But his arms clamped around her again—this time so hard she almost couldn’t breathe.
‘You lied to me.’ He spoke softly, not relaxing his hold even a fraction.
‘You lied to me too.’ She closed her eyes but the tears still slipped beneath her lids. ‘I guess the question is why did we lie?’
He slid his hand up her back, threading his fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck, angling her head so she felt his breath skim over her skin.
‘I didn’t tell you about finding out about your brother sooner for two reasons,’ he said, his mouth millimetres from her ear. ‘One, because I didn’t want to hurt you—I knew you’d be upset. And two, I didn’t want us to be over. I thought you’d leave as soon as you found out. I’ve been such an idiot, Dani. I thought we were just a fling. But we’re not. We’re forever. And I couldn’t get that through to you before you left.’
He moved even closer, the warmth of his body melting hers so she leaned into him. His lips brushed her skin now—making her feel every word, as well as hear them.
‘I know you don’t believe in romance. You don’t believe in love at first sight. But I sure as hell believe in lust at first sight. That’s how it was between us. The chemistry just flared. You know that. I thought I was acting crazy because I’d found out about Patrick and needing you was a weird kind of release. But the fact is I’m just not in control about how I feel about you. Haven’t been from the moment I laid eyes on you. And the more I got to know you, the more I felt for you, the more I wanted you. Barbs and all.’
‘What do you mean,
barbs?’ She sniffed.
‘I mean, the cold war concrete-wall, razor-wire, rooftopsniper defence system you’ve got going.’ His chest moved as he chuckled. ‘But it’s not going to work, Dani. Want to know why?’
She moved her head—a shake or a nod, not even she knew which it was.
‘Because I love you. And I’m thinking maybe you love me too.’
‘You think?’ Her voice wobbled.
‘You’re here,’ he said huskily. ‘You’ve come back to me.’
She had. She nodded for certain then, her fingers curling into his arms, unashamedly clinging to him.
‘When I’m with you, I’m happier than I have ever been,’ Alex muttered. ‘You light up my world. It’s that simple.’
For a long moment Dani couldn’t speak. But when she started she found it was easy. ‘I lied to you because I was scared. I told you I didn’t want you because I was scared about the strength of my feelings for you. And I was scared you didn’t feel the same.’ She took a shaky breath. ‘I didn’t want you thinking you were stuck with me. I didn’t want to be the charity case that trapped you. I didn’t want you to be with me out of pity.’
‘Dani,’ he groaned. ‘I care about you. I want to take care of you. That’s what people who love each other do. That’s love, that’s family. That’s going to be our family. We’ve both been alone too long, Dani. You said you don’t believe in relationships, but why were you looking for your brother? What did you hope to find when you found him if not some kind of a relationship? If not some family to love and be loved by?’
Tears flooded her eyes again. ‘And I wanted to tell him how sorry she was. I promised her I would.’
‘Oh, Dani.’ He framed her face with gentle palms. ‘Maybe she’s found him now, huh? Maybe she’s been able to tell him herself.’
‘I hope so.’ She breathed in courage. ‘But you’re right, Alex. I wanted to find him for me too. I don’t know what I hoped for, really. But I was lonely. I wanted to find someone safe.’
‘I’m the safest bet there is, Dani. Don’t you know? I’ve the best credit rating you can get.’ He smiled, joking just a little. ‘Safer than any other finance company. Or any other man. Loving someone, wanting to care, isn’t a weakness. Opening up takes strength. And you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.’
‘I’m not. You were right before. I’m a coward,’ she whispered. ‘But I don’t want to be anymore.’ She drew in a shaky breath. ‘I went to Jack’s grave.’
‘Dani.’ He locked her in a bear hug. ‘Alone?’
The tears streamed down her face as he cradled her.
‘It’s OK. It’s OK.’ She tried to say it so she’d believe it, but he shushed her. And at that she let all that was in her heart out—her sorrow, loneliness, and her love. Crying until the tears finally ran dry. And he just waited, just held her.
Neither of them alone now.
Long minutes later he brushed her silly fringe back behind her ear. ‘I can’t believe you were waiting in the lift.’
‘I wanted to prove I could face my fears.’
‘Tell you what, when we get home I’ll shut us both in a cupboard and show you such a good time you’ll never be afraid of small spaces again, OK?’
Oh, how that smile melted her. ‘It might take more than one therapy session to cure me of the phobia.’
‘Maybe.’ He nodded solemnly. ‘But we can only try, right? We face the fears together. Dani, you’re determined, you’re self-reliant, you’re independent. I love how you fight your corner. But your corner is my corner too. From here on in we’re on the same team, darling. We’re building a life together.’
‘Oh.’ She swept her hand down his chest, totally floored by his flattery and feeling the need for some light, sarcastic relief. ‘So it wasn’t my boobs that caught your eye?’
He laughed, a wicked look lighting up his face. ‘OK, so they were the first thing I noticed. You guessed that already. But I took in the rest of you too—you’re beautiful. I love the whole package that is you.’
She really was Carlisle standard? She was crazy pleased and her confidence blossomed. ‘It’s OK.’ She moved sassily. ‘You can like my boobs. I like your butt.’
‘Oh, you do?’
‘And your shoulders. And you have fantastic hands.’
‘Yeah?’
‘They’re big enough to hold me.’ She took his hand and placed it beneath her breast. He immediately spread his fingers, pushing up a little to take her weight, his thumb seeking her taut peak. Oh, that was what she wanted. ‘There isn’t a security camera in here, is there?’
‘No.’ His eyes dropped to her chest.
‘The security guard isn’t about to do his rounds?’
‘He should be on the desk downstairs. I’ll lock the door in case.’ Alex backed her up against it. ‘He knows I’ve been working late this week.’
She watched him watch her body respond to the simple, slow movement of his fingers. His eyes were hooded, pupils huge. His breathing more audible, but she was panting already. ‘Please,’ she whispered.
His gaze flicked up to hers. ‘Please what?’
‘Love me.’
His smile made her whole body heat with desire so sweet she almost couldn’t bear it. And she believed it. Finally she truly believed it. ‘Oh, Alex.’ Overcome, she sobbed.
He kissed her. ‘I do love you.’
His mouth was pure heaven. Filling her with pleasure and heat and she kissed him back with all her heart. Nothing held back. She pressed against him, needing to show him, to make him understand all that he meant to her. She threw her arms around his neck—loving him.
He was shaking, his hands moving fast. Somehow they did it, somehow not breaking that most sacred, searing kiss they moved enough to touch where they needed to touch, to become one, to feel the ecstasy that they could feel only with each other.
‘I love you,’ she breathed. ‘I love this.’
Her legs wrapped around him as they had that day in the lift, her body rapturously absorbed his and the power surged between them. Like a flash of lightning it hit—so fast—her body shuddering as he cried out.
Afterwards he growled, practically flattening her against the door, his breathing rapid, his sweat dripping. ‘How does it keep getting better?’
It was her turn to smile—that loving smile of total certainty.
He pushed away from her enough to gaze at her, ran his finger down her jaw and pushed that hair behind her ear again. ‘You know, I have something for you.’ A brief tease of a kiss before he pulled his trousers up and put his hand in his pocket. ‘I’ve been carrying it forever, waiting to be able to give it to you.’
The solitaire was tear-shaped; it gleamed rather than sparkled—as if it was full of the sweetest promise. But what she loved even more was the setting, the thin gold and the pretty engraving on the band. It was unusual. And quite, quite girly. And inside she loved girly. So pretty. Just the thing she would have chosen for herself—not that she’d ever contemplated diamond engagement rings before. He held the ring on an angle so she could see the words etched on the inside.
Alex loves Dani.
Her silly eyes were watering again. But she went bold. ‘It might get lonely being the only ring on that finger.’
‘Oh, I already have a mate for it. A very pretty band. And I have a date for when I’m going to give it to you.’
‘A date?’
‘In just a couple of weeks, actually.’
‘Alex,’ she teased. ‘Have you been organising?’
‘Sure have. Everything.’ He caught her hand. ‘You can’t muck up my plans now. I’ve got it all perfectly under control.’
‘You’ve always got the answers, haven’t you? Just the way you like it.’ She watched as the ring slid down.
‘Yeah, but it’s been hell waiting for you, Dani.’
‘I’m sorry.’ She was. Her emotions still so raw she felt terrible for doing that.
He laughed then
and pulled her close. ‘It’s OK. You have the rest of your life to make it up to me.’
‘Yes.’ She snuggled into his embrace and felt the magic between them healing her. ‘I do.’
All the characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all the incidents are pure invention.
All Rights Reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises II B.V./S.à.r.l. The text of this publication or any part thereof may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, storage in an information retrieval system, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the prior consent of the publisher in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
® and ™ are trademarks owned and used by the trademark owner and/or its licensee. Trademarks marked with ® are registered with the United Kingdom Patent Office and/or the Office for Harmonisation in the Internal Market and in other countries.
First published in Great Britain 2010
Harlequin Mills & Boon Limited,
Eton House, 18-24 Paradise Road, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1SR
© Natalie Anderson 2010
ISBN: 978-1-408-91810-4
Caught On Camera With The Ceo Page 16