by Taylor Lee
His voice hardened. “This isn’t news to any of you. They’ve had the Chambers girl for at least five days. We have to assume there are more girls. Every day we don’t find them is another day in hell for some very young, very vulnerable women.”
Consenting murmurs were heard from around the table.
Rafe turned to Nicki.
“Nicki, I know you are getting good information from the mothers and the girls’ friends. But we need the connections. I want you to stop interviewing people and put those instincts of yours to work. The connections are there. We have to find them.”
He glanced from person to person.
“Questions?”
When there were none, he caught her eye.
“Oh, and Nicki, one more thing.”
She frowned, wondering if he was going to harass her in front of everyone about eating. What he said was worse.
“Vlad also wanted Katya to come here was because of you, Nicki. Katya is a trained fighter, but given the violent turmoil in Chechnya, her skills need to be top notch. I want you to work with her, Nicki. Teach her some of your moves. Ways to use her size and her gender to her advantage.”
“I can think of a few ways.” Caleb hollered. “How about I work with both of them? We can get a little three way action on, and see what we can come up with. How does that sound, ladies? “
Rafe’s snort was audible over the groans and guffaws from the other men.
“Dammit, Caleb, you really are incorrigible. And, no. That is not an option. I want Nicki to train Katya, spar with her.”
Nicki shoved down a wave of anger. So Rafe thought that his precious little flower was too delicate to fight with the men? Too bad. She didn’t fight with women. She fought with men and beat the hell out of them.
She glanced up to see Rafe frowning at her.
She lifted her chin and returned his frown.
“When I have time.”
Rafe’s eyes narrowed ominously. His voice was quiet, dangerously so.
“Make time.”
When she shrugged and looked away, Rafe added, “Today. Before lunch.”
Nicki stood up and heaved her uneaten croissant across the table. She tossed her head and shot him a dismissive glare.
“Fine.”
She focused her radar on Katya.
“Be ready at 01100. That’s 11 o’clock in case you don’t know military time.”
The scrape of her chair was deafening in the silence that followed as she turned and stormed out of the room.
Chapter 9
Nicki barreled her way to the Cave, brushing by three different men without returning their greeting. She was shaking, a mix of fear and anger coursing over her. Fear because she knew how angry Rafe was with her. And anger because…because she admitted to herself she hated Katya. Even as she said it she knew she was being foolish. It wasn’t Katya she was angry with. It was Rafe. She was still smarting, aching from the other night. As many times as she relived it his words still stung. They were like acid burning every nerve ending in her heart. Face it, Nicki, you’re not the kind of woman I fuck.
She scoffed. She’d bet Katya was. God, Rafe’s tongue was practically hanging out when he looked at her. But then all the men were gaga over her. How could they not be? She was the kind of woman men loved. The kind they craved. So different from her. Katya wasn’t rude or brazen or flippant. She was all sweet and innocent but with a little touch of wickedness. Thinking about how she took on Caleb, Nicki cringed. If she didn’t hate her so much she could probably like her.
Booting up her computer, she began poring over her notes. Of course, Rafe had singled her out. Saying it was time for results. Time for her to find the connections they all were looking for. Why her? Damn, as if she didn’t want to find them! But she had inkling that Rafe might be right. Staring at her screen, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she already had all the information she needed. She just needed to put it together, to do what Rafe said. Let her instincts play out, give them rein.
She pulled up the pictures of the three girls. They were all beautiful, and painfully young. They each wore too much makeup, more than she did. Everything about them was stylish and mature, except for their eyes. She shook her head. Damn. Remembering what she was like at seventeen, she looked beneath the surface, beneath the makeup, the bravado and the layers of privilege. She focused first on Hillary’s face, then Sophie’s, and then Cindy’s. She forced herself to meet their eyes. Hold them in her thoughts and listen. Listen for the clues that would come if she could quiet her mind long enough to hear them.
Caleb rapped on the desk twice before she shook loose and looked up at him. For once, he wasn’t smiling. Rather he looked as sober as she felt.
“Hey, hotstuff. You look like you’re doing some serious thinking. Anything?”
Nicki shook her head and tried to cast off her annoyance. She was close, so close, but no matter how hard she tried, the thoughts wouldn’t jell.
“Hate to bother you, Nicki. But it’s almost 1100 hours.” He added with a teasing grin. “That would be military time.”
Nicki frowned, feeling the heat burn her cheeks. She remembered her snotty comment and the surprise on all the men’s faces at her rudeness. She struggled, wanting to say something to Caleb, to apologize, to explain. But she couldn’t. The words stuck in her throat. If they didn’t make sense to her how could they to Caleb. No, better to leave well enough alone. She was a bitch. And Katya was perfect. So be it. She could live with that. It looked like she would have to.
She unwound her stiff body from the chair. A sure sign that she’d been concentrating. But now she needed to move. Hmm, ordinarily when she felt like this, she would go for a pounding run. Guess sparring with the “chosen one” would have to suffice.
“Thanks, Caleb. I lost track of time.”
She headed toward the doorway when Caleb hollered out, “I’d tell you to kick butt, but maybe I’ll hold that thought.”
Nicki almost laughed. He really was a piece of work. She just wished it wasn’t so obvious to everyone, even Caleb, that she was jealous. Yep. An angry, jealous bitch. She shrugged and headed toward the sparring ring.
Turning the corner she stopped, horrified. Katya and Rafe were standing by the ring, deep in conversation. It looked as though Rafe was comforting her. His hands were on her shoulders. She was gazing up at him. At that moment, Katya rested her head against Rafe’s chest and his arms slipped down around her waist. They stood like that for a long moment, then Rafe lifted her chin with one hand and smiled down at her. She barely came to his shoulder. She was so small, so fragile, and so feminine. Bile surged in Nicki’s throat, She stumbled back around the corner leaning against the wall to keep from falling. Gulping deep raspy mouthfuls of air, she bent over, her hands on her knees, willing herself not to throw up.
She tried to ignore what she had seen. Find an explanation. Anything to account for the scene burning in her brain. But she knew what it was. It was Rafe. The Rafe all the men envied, the Rafe that women whispered about. The Rafe who brought her to the edge of a fierce orgasm begging, sobbing for more… then told her she wasn’t the kind of woman he fucked. The more she thought about it—the more she envisioned Rafe’s arms around Katya, the more she saw her gazing up him, the way she herself had done just two nights before—the more infuriated she became. Her fury rallied her. She stood up straight, took a deep breath and strode around the corner to face her demons.
Rafe was gone. Katya was standing quietly beside the sparring ring. She glanced up and smiled shyly when she saw Nicki. She was wearing a gi and her hair fell in a long braid down her back. With her hair away from her face and standing expectantly in her bare feet, she looked like a young girl waiting for her teacher. Clearly enraptured with Nicki, she bowed slightly.
Rather than returning the bow, Nicki nodded curtly. Refusing to look at her, she began to stretch, taking deep calming breaths that didn’t calm at all. She swallowed the saliva flooding her mouth
, wanting to make sure that the nausea she’d felt was truly gone. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Katya doing many of the same warm up stretches that she was. She wished that they were inside the gym. She longed to bury her fists and feet in a hard bag, punch and kick until her anger dissipated and the only bruises she felt were on her hands and feet.
She was startled when Katya spoke.
“I know you don’t want to do this, Nicki. I’m sorry. This was Vlad’s idea…and…Rafe’s.”
Nicki dismissed her with a careless wave of her hand.
“And we little women always do what the big men order, right, Katya?”
She couldn’t quell the bitterness in her voice and Katya was clearly surprised.
She was quiet for a long moment staring at Nicki, then cocked her head like a little bird and gave a small shrug.
“Not always.”
At that flash of independence, Nicki thought again that if she didn’t hate this woman so much, she might actually come to like her.
Nicki stripped off her t-shirt and tossed it on the ground. Her exercise bra hugged her full chest. She had boy shorts under her cammo pants but decided to leave the pants on. Long ago she’d given up wearing the formal gi. It spoke to too many rules, too many constraints on her practice. It didn’t allow her the freedom she needed to experiment, to test her violent spirit.
She nodded to Katya.
“Let’s see what you’ve got.”
Katya moved into a sparring position and whirled to meet her, driving her foot in a quick kick to Nicki’s hip. Nicki parried the kick and swung in a slow circle on one leg like a dancer. When Katya frowned in surprise, Nicki struck out with her raised leg, knocking Katya to the ground. Katya jumped up, her face flushed, her eyes flashing. Seeing her reaction, something snapped in Nicki. She usually didn’t show off, but now she felt the need to let Katya know how good she was. To see how a supreme warrior fought. Katya may be able to attract men like flies to honey but by God, when it came to fighting, no one, especially a young woman, would best her. She knew Rafe wanted her to demonstrate, give Katya pointers, strengthen her skills. But Nicki wasn’t interested in teaching, she wanted to fight.
With one expert move after another she used her knees, feet, hands and elbows to place one strike after another across Katya’s body. She could have been a concert pianist playing an instrument, her technique impeccable. For several moments Nicki was content demonstrating her finesse, then like a phoenix rising from its embers, the memory of Rafe and Katya in the yard flashed in front of her eyes. As though it was happening in slow motion she saw Rafe’s hands straddling Katya’s waist, her soulful eyes gazing up at him. As though a beast had taken over her body all the pain and anger she’d been fighting for two days broke loose. With a fierce kick, she knocked Katya to the floor. When Katya struggled to get up, her eyes wide with surprise, Nicki drove a vicious kick to her shoulder, once again knocking her to the ground. Closing in on her with a flurry of fists and feet, Nicki attacked. Katya rolled away from her. She didn’t try to get up, rather she huddled in a fetal position, her hands and arms protectively over her head. A sharp voice rang out.
“Nicki! Stop! Goddammit, stop!”
Nicki heard him over the rush of noise in her ears. It was the sound of a freight train roaring past. Her legs were shaking. Her breath was coming in gulps. To her surprise she saw Rafe and Grayson running toward them. Grayson looked shocked. Rafe looked furious. They both rushed over to Katya. She was huddled on the floor, murmuring incoherently.
Rafe’s voice was soft. “It’s okay, Katya. You’re all right, sweetheart. Take a deep breath. Can you do that? Can you do that, Katya? Uh uh. Don’t try to get up. I want you to lay here, lay flat until I check you out. See how badly you’re hurt.”
Nicki stumbled back. She didn’t think her legs would hold her. Oh God. What had she done? She stared at Katya lying on the ground, still, pale. Nicki’s heart was in her throat. It was pounding so hard she thought it might burst out of her chest.
She forced the words out of her mouth.
“I…I’m sorry. I….”
At Katya’s soft groan, she shook with fear. Forcing a bravado she didn’t feel, Nicki stammered, “I…I thought she could handle it. You…you said she was a fighter, trained….”
She stopped in mid-sentence, stunned by the fury on Rafe’s face. His eyes flashed dangerously.
Crouching next to Katya, Rafe glared up at her. His voice cut through her like shards of glass.
“Go. Go to my office. Wait for me there. Do not leave.”
In a blur, Nicki saw Caleb running toward them. He looked at the injured girl on the floor and then to her. His eyes were dark with concern. He knelt down beside Katya then turned to Rafe and Grayson.
“What the hell, Rafe?”
“Go to the infirmary. Make sure Max is there. Bring a stretcher. I don’t want to try to lift her until we are sure her ribs aren’t broken. Go, Caleb.”
~~~
Nicki hung over the toilet, retching. She’d tried to vomit for what seemed like hours, but was minutes at the most. As sick as she felt, she couldn’t throw up. There was nothing in her stomach but bitter-tasting bile. She knelt on the floor, straddling the toilet. Bracing her hands on the toilet seat, she retched again and again. When she finally stopped heaving, she stumbled to her feet. Hanging onto the edge of the sink with one hand, she turned on the cold water. She splashed her face, then grabbed for the counter as a wave of dizziness hit. She fought the nausea racking her and forced herself to stand. Little by little her legs steadied and she let go the counter. She glanced in the mirror shocked at what she saw. Her face was a stark white blur. Her topaz eyes were dark gold almost black, shocking against her pale skin. Her hair was a blur of red. She didn’t know how long she stood there staring vacantly into the mirror. Gagging at the foul taste in her mouth, she grabbed a washcloth, soaked it in cold water and scrubbed at the layers of bitterness in her mouth.
When she trusted herself to walk, she cautiously left Rafe’s private bathroom and inched back into his office. Nicki stared at the closed door, waiting, watching, listening for any sound of him approaching. Still numb, she tried to process what had happened. What she had done. At the memory of Katya lying on the ground surrounded by Rafe and Grayson and then Caleb, her heart pounded. Gasping for breath she fought off another wave of dizziness.
She hung onto the back of the armchair to steady herself. She had never lost her cool before. From the time she was a little girl her father had drilled that warning into her. Don’t spar in anger. You can’t win. Make them angry. Don’t you get angry. But her father’s warning had been to protect her. Keep her from being hurt. He’d never thought she would turn her anger on a sparring partner. Intentionally causing pain. Struggling with the enormity of her actions, she started at the sight of Rafe. She hadn’t heard him come in. She swallowed hard. Clutching the back of the chair for support, she forced herself to meet his eyes.
His jaw was rigid, his eyes steely. For what seemed like minutes he seared her with a hard glare. When he spoke, his voice was surprisingly soft, sending shivers of fear skittering down her spine. His words cut like a knife, one painful slash after another.
“I would like to think I misunderstood what I saw. That it was an accident. I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. You are a consummate martial artist, one of the best fighters on my team. You’ve spent your life sparring. Yet, you deliberately injured another team member. Potentially seriously. A new fighter and another woman, at that. A woman who looks up to you, idolizes you. Someone I asked you to train. To be responsible for. Tell me, Nicki, is this how you deal with my requests? What I can expect when I ask you to step up and be a leader?”
She refused to look away. To try to explain. She couldn’t. She was frozen with anguish.
Rafe waited for a moment, his harsh gaze unwavering. At her silence, he shook his head, his gaze holding her as tightly as if he gripped her wi
th his hands.
“Here’s what is going to happen. Max is taping Katya’s ribs now. Fortunately there were no breaks, but they are badly bruised. If they were broken she could easily have ruptured a lung. But you know that don’t you, Nicki?”
She didn’t realize how hard she was chewing on the inside of her lip until the metallic taste of blood flooded her mouth. She licked her bruised lips and swallowed, forcing herself not to choke.
Rafe’s eyes narrowed and he hesitated, then continued.
“The decision is Katya’s. If she is willing to train with you after you deliberately hurt her, that is her decision. If she chooses not to, that’s it. You are out of here. You are finished at ISA. You will leave immediately.”
Nicki stared at him, certain she would never breathe again. His gaze was unwavering, his voice like ice. She’d never known her heart could actually ache. Now she knew.
“You’re excused. Go. Now.”
Chapter 10
Nicki started toward the Cave, moving as if in a fog. The rush in her ears refused to quiet. Several times she stopped to get her breath, grasping for a tree, a branch, when another wave of dizziness hit her. She stood still for a moment, confused. Not sure where she was. She had passed the entrance to the Cave, and was standing in the front of the infirmary. She thought about turning back, she needed to go to work, to concentrate on their mission. But with a despairing sigh she pushed open the door and entered the infirmary.
Like every unit at ISA headquarters, the infirmary was state of the art, like a small well-equipped urgent care center. It was run by Max Sternoff, a former Army Ranger medic, who would give an emergency room surgeon a run for his money. Glass-fronted cabinets held medical equipment, bandages, and other supplies. The room was spotless. It would be the envy of the most exacting surgical suite operator. Max glanced up to where Nicki hovered in the doorway. His normally stern craggy face softened when he saw her. His doe-like eyes flashed with sympathy.