by Taylor Lee
But spank her ass? Hell, yeah. That was a different story. He’d do that in a heartbeat. Just the thought of her pert butt in his hands made his dick swell harder. With a groan he reminded himself that wasn’t an option. Holding her squirming body beneath him had been torture. Hell, if he’d pulled down those boy shorts, he would have flat out fucked her within seconds. Christ, you’d think he’d learned his lesson in the debacle two nights ago. If it hadn’t been clear before, it was crystal clear now. It didn’t matter what she had done. The woman was lethal. She truly was his Kryptonite.
He pulled on his boots and shirt, then walked over and picked up her pants and t-shirt. He held them to his nose and breathed in. They smelled like her. Spicy and sweet, with a hint of musk. Remembering the way she pulled off her t-shirt then bent over to strip off her pants, he suppressed a growl. Damn, saucy little minx. But he had a niggling sense her actions were not really those of an experienced woman using her body to entice. Rather they were the innocent movements of an inherently sexy woman. A woman who would be a killer in bed. Heading back to his office, he forced himself to think about Katya. To remember why he was angry with Nicki. But if Katya could forgive Nicki, why couldn’t he? He grimaced and acknowledged that being angry with Nicki was better than wanting her. At least for the time being anger was the best antidote for his raging desire.
Chapter 12
“You are many things, Nikita. A coward is not one of them.”
Her father’s voice was gruff. Though his words were harsh, his concern was apparent.
Nicki choked back her tears. She didn’t want to upset her father, but he needed to understand the seriousness of the issue.
“Papa, I can see why you think it is cowardly of me to run away from a bad situation. You know that is something I’ve never done, at least until now. But, Papa, I did something terrible… so bad I am ashamed to tell you.”
Her voice sunk to a whisper and then broke on the edge of a sob.
There was a long silence as she fought to compose herself. Finally her father spoke.
“Nikita, my beloved daughter, there is nothing you could do that is so bad that you cannot tell me.”
“Papa, I ask you. No, I beg you. Please don’t make me go into detail. It is too painful. I promise when I get home, I will tell you everything. But for now, I need you to understand, to hear me. I…I want to come home. Now. Today.”
Her father’s sigh was audible.
“Nikita, that is not possible. I sent you to Rafe for a reason. Those reasons are more critical than ever. Dangerous things are happening, Nikita. Things that I cannot protect you from. Rafe can. He can protect you as no other man can.”
Nikita had held back as long as she could. She’d tried to be reasonable. Tried to appeal to her father rationally, as rationally as she could, given her fragile emotional state. She was clinging to a precipice. She didn’t know how much longer she could hang on.
Her voice rose almost to a shriek.
“No! No, Papa. You’re not listening to me!”
She heard her father’s gasp. She took a deep raspy breath and forced herself to contain her panic, to speak as calmly as she could.
“Papa, you need to understand. Rafe…Rafe is the reason I can’t stay here. He… doesn’t want me here. He is angry with me. No, it’s more than that. He is furious. He…and I….”
Her voice broke. She dropped the cell on the table and buried her head in her hands, choking on her sobs. Thank God, her father couldn’t see her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried in front of him.
After a silence that lasted for more than a minute, her father spoke. His voice was stern, laced with distress.
“Nikita, you must listen to me. Whatever has happened, you are safer with Rafe than you are with me. It pains me to say that, but it is the truth. I cannot protect you. I never could. But Rafe can.”
Nicki clutched her phone and took another deep breath. She heard her father’s resolve. His words, his lack of understanding hurt her. More than anything it made her angry. Angry that her father had more faith in Rafe than he did in her. She didn’t hide her frustration.
“I see. I can hear, Papa, that you do not want me to come home. That saddens me. I thought I was always welcome in your home….”
“Nikita, stop. You know that is not true. You are and always will be welcome in our home. This is your home as much as it is mine. You are my beloved daughter. I ask you, for my sake, to deal with whatever has happened to upset you, the way that you have always dealt with difficult issues. By facing them head on. You are a resourceful young woman. I understand from Rafe, you are more likely than anyone on the team to discover who has kidnapped those young girls. It is important that you stay for that reason alone.”
Nicki was startled. She knew that Rafe and her father often consulted with one another but Rafe hadn’t mentioned that Yuri was advising him on the kidnappings. When she thought about it, it made sense. If anyone knew Russia, it was her father. The fact that her father and Rafe were talking about important issues that she was involved in without including her, made her angrier. She was confident they would include Katya, if they hadn’t already. Her anger boiled over.
“Papa, I’m sorry I bothered you. As you request, I will not come home. Whether or not I stay at ISA is something I will decide. I will let you know when I make my decision. And just to be clear, Papa, I don’t need anyone to protect me. I am not some shrinking pathetic woman who needs men to protect her. I take care of myself. I always have and I always will. I will appreciate it if you and Rafe both get that through your thick chauvinistic heads.”
When her father finally responded to her angry outburst, his voice was soft, consoling.
“Nikita, you are angry and upset. I understand that. I only ask that you give yourself time to decide if leaving ISA is a wise decision. If that is what you decide to do, I will support you. I will be unhappy if you leave, but I trust your judgment.” He paused for a long moment. “And, Nikita, I love you.”
To her dismay, his loving words prompted another flood of tears. Damn, what was wrong with her? She had never acted like this, never yelled at her father and never, ever burst into tears. But she knew she couldn’t talk any more. She couldn’t be sure that she wouldn’t say something that would upset her father further. All her life her father had tried to shelter her, went to great lengths to protect her true identity. He insisted that she use a different name and he was never was seen in public with her. Indeed, the number of people who knew that Yuri Petrakov was her father could be counted on one hand. They included her “parents” in Idaho, and of course Rafe. She thought Grayson and Caleb might know given that they were Rafe’s closest confidants. And now of course, she’d learned that Katya and likely Vlad also knew.
What she did know was that her father believed he needed to protect her from his past. It was ironic. Even as a young child she had felt that she was the one protecting him. From an evil she didn’t know or understand. But the raw pain in his eyes when he looked at her in unguarded moments, confirmed that it had something to do with her. And that it was something so hideous he would never tell her. Instead, he had lived his life as a virtual recluse, running his formidable financial empire under a raft of aliases and shadow corporations no one knew. No one, except perhaps Rafe.
“Papa, I…I love you too. I’m sorry I upset you. And yes, even if I don’t stay at ISA, I will help find those girls. I’m… I think I am close to discovering some important connections. I need time away, away from…from…ISA to follow my instincts. I will let you know what I decide. Goodbye, Papa. I love you. More than anything in the world.”
Yuri stared at his cell phone for a long moment listening to the dial tone. He disconnected and then pressed the number one key on the touchpad. When the cool voice he knew as well as his own answered, he didn’t hide his concern.
“What’s going on, Rafe? What did the hell did you do to my daughter?”
~~~
&n
bsp; Rafe strode in to the dining room and looked around the table. He frowned and turned to leave. Grayson left the table and followed him out into the hallway.
“Looking for someone, Rafe?”
Certain that Grayson knew damn well who he was looking for, he didn’t pull any punches.
“Have you seen Nicki?”
Grayson shrugged. “Not since about three hours ago, when I saw the tail end of that hot little red 911 of hers peeling out of the garage at seventy miles an hour.”
Rafe glowered at him, debating whether to ask him more, but seeing the look on Grayson’s face, he decided he didn’t want to engage in a discussion with his too-perceptive friend.
“Thanks.”
He headed to his office and closed the door. Sinking into his chair he grabbed for his cigarette case, and realized that his hands were shaking.
He glanced up at a knock, to see Grayson enter. The tall man who filled the doorway closed the door and ambled over to the chair in front of the desk and settled in.
Rafe grimaced.
“Fuck. I knew I should have locked the door.”
Grayson chuckled, a wide smile creasing his handsome face. His slate grey eyes twinkled. Reaching for the humidor on the corner of the desk, he rifled among the aromatic treasures then selected one of the slender Bolivian cigars Rafe garnered especially for him.
Grayson tipped the cigar in a salute then busied himself cutting and lighting the treasure. Leaning back in his chair, he winked.
“That would presume that I don’t have a key.”
Rafe glared at him.
“Look Gray. I don’t want to offend you, but I’ve got a lot on my mind.”
Grayson waved the cigar in casual dismissal.
“Relax, bro. I just want to visit and smoke one of these foreign babies that I swear are as good a substitute for a woman as I know.”
Rafe snorted. “Right. You think I don’t know that look. You’ve got a stick up your butt the size of a tree trunk. Go for it. What have I done now that you don’t approve of?” He added, “And the idea of you substituting a cigar or anything else for the twenty or so women who are hoping they will get lucky tonight is laughable.”
Grayson’s grin widened, then he drilled Rafe with a hard look.
“Let’s be clear about who has a stick up his ass.”
Rafe grimaced and waved him off, then took his time lighting a cigar for himself.
He looked up to see Grayson studying him. He sighed, knowing what was coming. Grayson didn’t disappoint.
“Rafe, I’m your best friend. I’ve known you longer than anyone here has. We’ve helped each other stay alive for nearly sixteen years. I’ve saved your life almost as many times as you’ve saved mine. You know I admire the shit out of you and would follow you to hell without so much as sunblock. Christ, man, I love you like a brother.”
Rafe scoffed. “Some people hate their brothers. Anyway, I hear a ‘but’ coming. Let me guess…”
Grayson put up his hand. His dark eyebrows latched together in a frown.
“No need to guess. I want to talk to you about Nicki.”
“Not an option, Gray. I’m not interested in talking about Nicki with you, or anyone else.”
Grayson shook his head, his gaze was cool, unwavering. “Sorry, bro. You don’t have a choice.”
Rafe flinched then jolted out of his chair and strode over to the window. He stood with his back to Grayson, stifling the mix of emotions searing him. Staring blindly at the verdant sight below he did his best to tamp down his irritation. He didn’t want to take it out on Grayson. When he had himself under control he turned back to his friend and tried to respond calmly, but he couldn’t hide his frustration.
“Look, Gray. It’s none of your business. What I do or don’t do with Nicki is up to me. And no one else.”
He stifled a groan when Gray quirked an eyebrow and didn’t respond.
Shucking any semblance of control, Rafe barked, “Fuck it, Gray, I’m so god dammed angry with her now. I just hung up from her father. Do you know what Yuri told me? Want to hear this? She thinks she’s going to leave here. Just waltz out of here as though that’s her choice.”
He raked his hands through his tousled hair and muttered, “Like hell it is. She’s not going anywhere unless I let her.”
Gray’s voice was soft. “Of course not. You won’t let that happen, will you, Rafe? You won’t let her out of your control. Even though you won’t take her, you still want her right here where you can make sure that no one else does.”
Rafe whirled, incredulous that his friend dared to assert such a thing.
“What the hell do you mean by that, Gray?”
“Rafe, for Christ’s sake. Do you think there’s a man here who doesn’t know how you two feel about each other? Damn, every one of us wishes we had a Kevlar vest the minute you get within five feet of each other. Jesus, the sparks between you could electrocute an unaware guy.”
“You’re wrong. If anything she despises me and I’m damned close to despising her. I still can’t believe what she did to Katya.”
“Really? I can.”
Rafe threw him a disbelieving glare. “What are you saying, Gray? Jesus, you care about Katya as much as I do.”
“Yes I do, Rafe. Why don’t you ask Katya how she feels about what happened? You might be surprised. Just so you know, Nicki saw the two of you together outside of the training center. Katya said if she ever saw Vlad holding another woman the way you were her, she’d pay Nicki to kick her ass.”
Rafe’s gut tightened.
“Fuck, I…didn’t know…I…Katya’s like a sister to me.”
“I know that and you know that but Nicki didn’t. I saw her face after it happened. She was devastated.”
Gray shrugged, “But then since you don’t mean anything to each other, indeed you despise each other, why should she care, right, Rafe?”
Rafe turned away. He couldn’t look at Grayson. Grayson was right. He did know him as well as anyone in the world did except for Yuri. His gut clenched just thinking about Yuri and their telephone conversation. And right now both men were asking the same question. What the hell was he doing with Nicki? It was a damn good question and one he didn’t choose to answer. Even if he knew the answer.
“Gray, I have work to do. So do you. I don’t want to be rude but I don’t want to have this conversation. Now, or ever. If you’ll excuse me.”
He walked to the door preparing to leave.
Gray leaned back in his chair and puffed on his cigar.
“Open your eyes, Rafe. I saw her face. You did too. She was shattered.”
Rafe frowned and started pacing across the room twisting his head from side to side wishing he could get rid of the strain in his neck. That was unlikely. He’d had it since the evening with the Senator. He’d like to blame it on the kidnappings, the case. But he was more self-aware than that.
He leaned against the door to see Grayson studying him. Any semblance of humor on his friend’s face was long gone. His voice was quiet, intense.
“Let me ask you one thing, Rafe. If you can say no to this I will stop harassing you.”
Rafe’s gut tightened more. He knew what was coming.
“Tell me you haven’t come on to her. That you haven’t led her on. Let her think you want her. That you care about her.”
Rafe turned away not wanting Gray to see the truth. Fat chance. Gray was like a brother to him and he knew him like a goddamned book.
Grayson shook his head, and drove the knife in further.
“And if you might have done that, then tell me that you didn’t pull back, stop, and push her away without out telling her why. Instead, that you played the ‘I can’t take you card, because I’m an honorable asshole.’”
“Instead of just an asshole? Is that what you’re saying, Gray?”
“She’s vulnerable, Rafe. It’s painful to watch her, and you.”
Rafe shuddered. He’d rarely been ashamed of anyt
hing he’d done. But Gray was right. As always. Yeah, he’d seen her face. Hell he was haunted by it. And, yes, he was ashamed of himself.
He put up his hands in surrender. His voice was strained.
“You don’t know the half of it, Gray.”
“You don’t need to paint any pictures, buddy. I’ve seen the way you look at her. We all have.”
Rafe went back to his desk and sunk down in his chair. He pierced his friend with a ragged gaze.
“You do understand, Gray, there’s no way I can be with her. That there never can be anything between Nicki and me.”
“Because of Yuri?”
He shrugged, then remembering, Yuri’s distress, he nodded.
“You might want to talk with Yuri. Tell him how you feel about her. He might surprise you.”
Rafe flinched at the expression on Gray’s face. It was a mix of anger overlaid with compassion. A look that ate at Rafe’s soul. He knew what was coming now. Once again, Gray didn’t disappoint him.
“There’s more to it and you know it, Rafe. Someday, my man, you’re going to have to let go. Let go of what happened. Recognize you’re human, you’re not a god. You can’t prevent all the bad things that evil men do.”
Rafe glared at Gray, certain that his jaw was as rigid as Gray’s. But Grayson pressed on.
“When are you going to stop blaming yourself, refusing to live your life? Hell, to let yourself love someone?”
Rafe reached for his cigarette case. He removed a coffin nail and cupped a match to it. Leaning back in his chair he blew a cloud of smoke in the air. When it cleared and there was no barrier between him and Grayson, he leaned forward and drilled Gray with a molten stare.
“When the twenty–seven young girls I blew up come back to life. That soon enough for you, Gray?”