by Court, C S
As the three of them play on the sofa, I move around the back of Hunter, sticking my hands up his t-shirt and to his ribs, digging them in and moving them up and down. He laughs and shakes his back, attempting to remove me, but still able to continue his assault on the kids.
I slowly raise one hand to the base of his neck, my fingers find his collar bone and dig in slightly. He raises his shoulders in response, and makes dolphin like noises as he tries to dislodge my fingers.
Finally he removes his hands from the kids and brings one hand to each of my mine, stopping my movements. I wink at the pair of them, and whisper the words“now.”
They both follow my command and jump up, throwing their bodies at Hunter and knocking him to the ground as he is distracted, I just manage to dodge being pinned beneath him.
The three of us tickle him anywhere and everywhere, before he finally gets the upper hand, and we somehow all end up on our back, side by side as his hands move rapidly between the three of us, tickling relentlessly. No amount of thrashing or screaming frees us.
“Do we give up?” he asks, somewhat breathlessly.
“Yes!” We all scream in unison. I’m knackered after all of that.
“Good.” He jumps to his feet,“Who fancies a game of bowling then?”
Hunter is almost knocked over as Alex and Lily jump up and begin hopping around the room.
“I take it that’s a yes then,” he directs at me on a chuckle.
My heart swells with love for him. I didn’t know men like him existed, Dan would much rather be up the pub than spend any time with me or the children. Let alone play and make as much noise as we have been.
Leaving him was the best decision I could have ever made, and every day that passes is just cementing that fact. Not only are they both happy, but they have taken to Hunter in a way I could never even have imagined.
They are happy, I am happy, and I will do whatever it takes to ensure we stay that way. I will never take Hunter or what he does for us for granted, he has changed our life for the better, and I just hope we make him just as happy as he is us.
An hour and a half later, we have reached the bowling alley, and are programming our names in to the game board on the overhead television. After much persuasion, Alex finally agreed to allow Lily to bowl first and him second, only if he could go on the arcades after. My boy certainly knows how to drive a hard bargain.
Lily steps up first, asking me to pick the pink ball up for her and places it on the bowling ramp. She stands before it, hands behind the ball and pushes hard. It rolls down and after what feels like an eternity manages to knock eight pins down. She screeches in excitement and throws herself at my legs, wrapping her arms around me.“Did you see that Mummy, I knocked lots and lots of them down.”
“I sure did princess, well done.” I kiss her on her head before she runs off to taunt her brother, and chooses her next colour ball. The next roll doesn’t go too well and she ends up missing the remaining pins, much to Lily’s dismay. She pouts and plops her bum on the bench, grumbling under her breath.
Alex steps up, refusing any assistance. I still stand to the side of him, ready to help should he need it. I’m about to ask why he is sat on the floor with a bowling between his legs, when it becomes abundantly clear this is his way of bowling. And it works too, he sits at the end of the alley, legs spread with a bowling ball between them, he then places the ball where he wants it and pushes, hard. The ball travels all the way to the end, hitting the centre pin to the left very slightly, and effectively knocking every pin down.
“Strike.” He screams, running and jumping up and down.
He offers me a quick hug as he passes me, running straight to Hunter’s open arms and jumping in to them. I stand, awestruck at the effect he has had on my kids. Watching him run to Hunter like that is one of the best feelings I have and will ever feel, I don’t think I have once seen Alex behave like that with Dan. I am giddy with excitement, my boy has missed out on so much that a Dad should have done with him, and five minutes with Hunter and you would believe they were father and son. Several other people playing have thrown smiles at the pair of them.
I take out my phone and snap a few photos, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth as I repeatedly hit the snap shot button. I want to look back at this moment time and time again. I’m beyond elated, to see my baby so happy is the best bloody feeling in existence. Even Lily is sat on the side giggling away, when normally she would moan that Alex did better than her.
I take a few steps back and get the three of them in the same shot, Hunter swinging Alex around, and Lily looking on and giggling. It’s a sight I never thought I would see, but one I hope is never taken away from us.
With every passing moment I hate Dan more and more. I didn’t think it was possible, but seeing what he neglected our children of makes the hatred more intense than ever.
My phone is pocketed as my eyes sweep over the bowling balls. Selecting the Orange ball, I walk to the markers and swing my arm back, wincing at the sharp pain in my ribs as I stretch too far. Releasing the ball too late, I cringe when it flies upwards and comes back down to make a loud thud on the ground before rolling and knocking over just one pin.
A chorus of laughter has me spinning on my heel and facing the group of imitating hyenas behind me, the three of them stood in absolute hysterics. My cheeks flame, but a giggle escapes my lips anyway, more from humiliation than finding the situation amusing. You can without a doubt, always count on me to make a total prat of myself.
“Connie baby, you may want to release the ball a little sooner than that, you nearly threw it through the ceiling.” His teasing smile forces me to relax once the realisation I wasn’t being reprimanded sets in.
Dan would have no doubt came up with some nasty comment about it being my problem if I break something and I need to stop acting so stupid and think for once. But Hunter isn’t Dan, and I need to stop letting the past seep through to my relationship with Hunter. Hunter is a million times the man Dan could and will ever be.
Stop thinking about what Dan would have done, he is no longer a part of my life, I scream inwardly at myself.
With a ragged sigh, I turn and pick up another ball, eager to redeem my wounded ego. It really did take a beating after that cock up.
Noticing several other bowler’s heads turned in my direction, I count to five inwardly and take my time selecting my ball, effectively blocking them out. Lifting my arm back, I swing it forward at speed, ignoring the ache in my side and mostly roll the ball down the alley, hitting the second pin back on the left and watching them all topple over, giving me a spare. A total fluke, but a victory for me all the same.
I do a little wiggle, and squeak upon feeling Hunter’s arms wrap around my tummy, his hot breath causing flutters in my lower tummy as it brushes across my neck.“Well done baby.” His hand swoops down and catches me off guard, swatting my bum before he promptly turns to pick up a dark blue ball.“Watch and learn kiddies, I’ll show you how a pro does it.” He says, in a deep, exaggerated manly voice, kissing the ball and whispering as if to a lover.
He hop, skips and jumps, before dropping to his knee and flinging the ball down the alley. I drop to the bench beside Alex, and Lily seats herself on my lap as we watch in anticipation of this spectacular result he obviously wanted us to see. I nearly fall from my seat in hysterics as the ball swoops to the right and gutter balls halfway down.
He picks up another ball, rolls his shoulders back and says,“That was the warm up, now for the real bowling.” My tummy hurts from laughing so much, he is a natural comedian to people of all ages, the kids and I find him equally as entertaining.
This time, after selecting his ball, he takes a mini run to the edge of the alley, spins on the spot to face us and throws the ball backwards, his lips slanting in a smile as he releases the ball behind him.
The three of us on the bench lean forward a touch, eager to see if his technique worked, or went tits up again.
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nbsp; We are all silent as it rolls, not quite as fast as before, due to the awkwardness of his positioning. It approaches halfway and veers to the right, reaching the pins and knocking down the two on the end at the back.
Hunter, still with his back to the ball is facing us with a raised eyebrow, quite clearly expecting us to inform him of a hit or miss.“Erm.” I pause, unable to stifle the snort and cackle from leaving my lips.
Alex hops up, mildly giggling but desperate for his shot.“My turn, I’ll show you how it’s done Hunts.”
“Oh god, stop, the pair of you. I can’t take much more laughter.” Where the bloody hell did the name Hunts come from? It’s like he has known him forever with the way they interact.
My phone rings, just as I begin wiping the tears forming at the corner of my eyes. Digging my through my bag, I curse as it rings off.
My finger’s grasp the device as it starts ringing again, Lottie’s name flashing on to the screen as I flip it over in my hand.
“Hey Lots.” I answer, out of breath.
“Should I call back? I can hear banging and crashing, plus you sound a bit excited and breathless.” Normally I would laugh at my friend’s remark, taking it for the joke it is, but something is off in Lottie’s voice, she sounds almost, depressed. She can’t be, can she? In all the years I have known her, she has never once been one to be kicked down by life. But then maybe the stress of Dan and what he has put her through has taken a toll on her body.
“What’s wrong?” All trails of amusement instantly leave my tone, replaced with worry.
“Huh, oh. Nothing, I’m fine. I just called to tell you Harry will be here in a couple of hours, and I wanted to know if you and the kids fancied being here too, of course Hunter is welcome if he is around.” Despite the false chirpy tone she is failing miserably to put on, she sounds totally on edge. Why would she want me around if she was to be spending time with Harry? It doesn’t make sense.
I stay silent for a second before asking her,“Lots what is going on? Of course the kids and I will want to see you, but is there another reason you want us around? Has Harry done something to upset you?”
Lottie jumps in immediately, rather snappy and defensive.“No of course not, why would you even think that? Can’t I just have my best friend and my boyfriend over at the same time?” Ah, so that’s what this is about, Lottie has taken the next step with Harry and is freaking out.
“Oh my god, I am so pleased for you girly, about bloody time you found someone and took the next step.” My voice is all high pitched and squeally, I fail miserably at hiding my excitement.
Hunter looks up from helping Lily with a ball, I was so wrapped up In Lottie, Icompletely missed Alex’s shots. I give Alex an apologetic smile and blow him a kiss, to which he grins back, not in the least bit phased by me giving my phone call my attention. My boy makes me so proud, he is going to make a fantastic man, and one lucky lady very happy when he grows up.
Lottie’s sniffling down the line draws my attention again,“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Listen I gottago, but I will see you all here a bit later.”
I open my mouth to respond, but am met with the sound of her phone disconnecting our call.
Something is really wrong, and I will get to the bottom of it later, no matter what bullshit lie spews from her mouth.
I quash all the worry down, and focus instead on my children, Hunter and this game of bowling, there is nothing I can do for Lottie right this second, and we all deserve a bit of fun.
For the next couple of hours, we bowl, eat, bowl again and play on the arcades. By the time we are finished, Alex and Lily seem exhausted, and I am not fairing much better myself, but I did tell Lottie we would stop by.
The kids perk up as we reach Lottie’s and I tell them to be on their best behaviour, if Lottie is stressed she doesn’t need to be harassed by my two munchkins.
She opens the door in a distressed pair of jeans, old t-shirt and her hair in a messy bun. Not a trace of make-up is on her face, she looks as drained as she sounded on the phone.
“Hey.” She greets us with a small smile.
Alex and Lily charge Lottie and wrap themselves around her waist, both gripping her tightly.“And hello to my gorgeous God children, I think Auntie Lottie needs a kiss, don’t you?” Dropping to her knees, Alex and Lily each kiss one cheek, making smacking sounds with their lips as they pull away.
Gathering their hands in hers, she leads them both in to the front room, where a WII console that she definitely did not own before is set up.
Raising my eyebrow in question at her, she offers me a small shrug and a guilty look flits across her face.“I’ve always wanted one.” I hear her whisper below her breath.
Oh yes, I’m sure she really just happened to buy a console for herself, who in all the years I have known her has never shown an interest in gaming before. Now isn’t the time to bring up what’s wrong, and something is clearly wrong. Lottie’s way of making herself feel better is to shop, and buy presents for people, and this is obviously what she has done.
A noise coming from the kitchen draws all of our attention, with the exception of the kids whom are busy selecting a game to play.
Looking out the corner of my eye at Lottie, I notice a solemn expression on her face, one I have never seen her wear before and wish I could make whatever it is better. Following her line of sight brings me facing Harry, who appears completely himself.“Hey, I wondered when you’d get here.” He slaps Hunter on the back, and greets me with a kiss on the cheek.
Lottie introduces Harry to Alex and Lily, who barely lift their eyes from the television long enough to say hello. It’s like listening to a robot, she is saying all the right things, her tone of voice perking up slightly, but it’s the eyes, they appear devoid of any warmth, totally cold and unfeeling.
It only takes the space of a minute to see how smitten Harry is with Lottie, and I come to the rapid conclusion whatever is going on between them was going on for longer than she has stated.
He sweeps her up in his arms, his face softening and barely able to keep his eyes off of her, whereas Lottie struggles to even look at him or give him a smile, she avoids eye contact completely.
Before I get the chance to ask Lottie if she can come and help me in the kitchen, Harry beats me to it with Hunter.“Mate got some calls to make.” Hunter nods at Harry, and turns to kiss me on the lips, whispering the words“business” around the kiss.
Harry does the same to Lottie, kisses her and appears reluctant to leave her, but finally pries himself away when she tells him Hunter is waiting. Harry, completely oblivious to Lottie’s offhanded behaviour walks from the room, blowing Lottie kisses as he goes.
“Don’t. I already know what you are going to say.” Her hand is held in the air, her eyes closed as she takes a deep breath.
“Don’t what Lottie? You’re my best friend, something is wrong and I want you to tell me what. If the tables were turned you would be relentlessly pursuing me for an explanation.” I know it and she knows it, she wouldn’t stop until she had got to the bottom of my misery.
She sighs heavily, eyes flitting to Alex and Lily as if to check they are not paying attention. They aren’t, they are so engrossed in their game that a hurricane could sweep through the room and they would still be unaware.
“I just don’t think this is what I want anymore. I’m not used to opening myself up like this, and I am not willing to take the risk of things going tits up when I have invested so much of myself into it. He might like me now, but what happens a few months or years down the line when he gets bored. I dunno, I just…” Her voice trails off, leaving the sentence unfinished.
This is pure fear, fear of the unknown and fear of her feelings towards him, this is new territory for Lottie, and I get that she is apprehensive about the future. I just don’t know what to suggest, I don’t want her throwing away a good thing out of misplaced fear. Anything could go wrong at any time, that’s life, but you never find the good if you don
’t take the risks, and I know her heart is a big risk for her, her family trampled it enough when she was growing up.
I hold her gaze as I talk to her, hoping to alleviate some of her tension and worry.“Lottie he isn’t your Mum and Dad, he isn’t going to one day turn on you and leave you to fend for yourself. Relationshipsare always unknown, look at me with Dan, but I wouldn’t have found Hunter without going through what I did. Are you really willing to throw away something that could be the best thing that ever happened to you? Do you not think Harry could feel the same, from what I can work out you and him were similar in previous relationships, but even Hunter appears shocked at how smitten he is with you.”
I pause to allow her to sink it in.“What happens if you wake up one day and are bored with him, does it not work both ways? And what if you both end up making each other so happy that you spend the rest of your lives together. Could you really turn your back on that possibility? I’m scared, but Hunter is a good thing in my life, and as long as it’s good I am not going to take that for granted and throw it away.” I end on a deep breath.
She stares off in to space, deep in thought. I just hope she is contemplating what I am saying, and not already made her mind up. I honestly think Harry would be a good thing for her, and from the looks of things he is head over heels.
I could throttle her family for making her so insecure, the only people she has ever opened herself up to are my family, and myself, even that took years for her to fully believe we were not going to up and walk away from her.
I’m nervous for her, not because I’m worried about her being with Harry, but because I’m worried she is going to toss him aside and end up hurting herself a million times more than she is right now.
Her hands are ringingin her lap, as she continues to think.“I suppose.” Comes from her lips so quietly that I almost missed it.
“Lottie don’t do this.” I plead, already knowing I was too late, my words have had no impact and she has already made up her mind.