Sensing the awkwardness that he’d unleashed in the room, Mr. Lee piped up with, “And also… I want to remind you that you have the investors’ morale seminar in the Maldives next week.”
“How could I forget?” Aaron replied, smiling.
“Yes, well,” Mr. Lee said, smiling obnoxiously. “Unfortunately, I’ll need to tie up a few loose ends here at the home office. However, I think it would be a nice way to welcome your new secretary to the company if she were to take my place.”
Blood pumped through Aaron at the thought of Vanessa, sprawled out naked on some bed that smelled like coconut oil, the cyan sea behind her, the sun high in the air over a straw roof. He couldn’t harness his thoughts, he could barely contain them within his mind.
“Aaron?” Mr. Lee said, disrupting his daydreaming.
“Yes? Oh, oh… well, we’re sorry that this has come up, Mr. Lee,” Aaron stumbled verbally, strategically moving his briefcase onto his lap. “But I certainly commend you for your hard work and dedication to this company. And you’re right. I think she’d really love the opportunity to go on a business trip to such a relaxing atmosphere. Thank you for that suggestion.”
Mr. Lee beamed in a way that seemed inauthentic. “Very good, sir. Rebecca in Human Resources wanted me to relay to you that your new secretary was coming by to sign her paperwork after lunch, at one o’clock.”
“Today?” Aaron jumped out of his chair, his briefcase clattering to the floor. “I… I need to be present for that.” Without saying goodbye to his father, brushing past Mr. Lee, Aaron bounded out of the room and outside toward his car, thinking only of hooking his hands around the curves of her neck and pulling himself into her once again.
* * *
Documents blanketed Rebecca’s desk. Vanessa felt her hand cramp as she signed paper after paper, so many times that her own signature began to look warped and corrupted like a word that someone says over and over again. Rebecca had counseled Vanessa on her new salary, her health insurance benefits, her company car insurance, and her 401(k) options. The idea of a retirement account completely evaded Vanessa, whose mind only swirled with how Aaron’s tongue felt rolling across her skin, how he whispered inside of her as he made her explode.
“Okay, that’s everything,” Rebecca said suddenly, as Vanessa was drowning in her own personal sea of dreamy nostalgia. “I’ll walk you down to Mr. Ridley’s office. He’s going to handle the issue of the car with you, if that’s okay.”
Not knowing who this Mr. Ridley was, Vanessa nodded blankly. Rebecca’s smart flats padded down the linoleum hallway along the same floor that Vanessa had tripped and spilled salad on a week before, in what felt like another universe. Approaching a door marked Aaron Ridley, Chief Executive Officer, Vanessa felt her heart clomp through her chest. She’d been dreaming about him—about his eyes, about every part of his body—for two days now, since she’d left him in his hotel room last.
After a brief knock, Aaron yelled, “Come in,” from the opposite side of the door. With a sort of professional, easygoing hesitance, Rebecca let the two of them inside. “It’s just us,” she said with a light chuckle.
“Excellent. It’s good to see you again, Vanessa,” Aaron said, sitting behind his desk, beaming. “Thank you, Rebecca,” he said, with a motion toward the door. “I’ll take it from here.”
Excusing herself with a smile, Rebecca shut the door behind her without a word.
“Vanessa,” Aaron whispered as a grin slithered across his face. “Lock the door,” he said with a wink.
Chapter 18
“I hope you have your passport handy,” Aaron said with a smile, zipping his pants. Vanessa was sitting on the couch in his office, hooking her bra in the front and shimmying it around the back. She could feel Aaron inside of her still. The memory permeated her mind and lingered in an amorous fog over her brain. She almost didn’t hear him over the flashbacks streaking across her mind, but his words seemed to cut through all of it with unmistakable clarity.
“What?” She looked up, wanting him to repeat himself. She wanted to hear it again, hear it from his lips, hear with remarkable precision that he was whisking her away.
“We’re going on a trip,” he said, his smile widening across his face.
Possible destinations swirled through hear head. Would it be Mexico? The Caribbean? Europe? Vanessa had only ever been to Canada, and only to drive up to Alaska with her parents. The thought of going on a vacation after the year she had had was intoxicating. The smells of a new country, foreign accents chirping in her ears, local wine and traditional food started to entrance her there, in Aaron’s office, before she ever knew where she was going.
And then, a sledgehammer. Everything she dreamt just now, all the ambrosial sights and sounds smashed apart in her mind, as if they were just travel brochures that someone ripped in half right in front of her. That someone was Emma, so small and so needy, reaching out to Vanessa for everything she needed. She wanted to scream. She loved Emma. She wanted to give Emma everything in life, but she began to hate the fact that her parents left her in charge. Vanessa wasn’t Emma’s mother. She didn’t want to be. She hated herself for feeling this way, for harboring these thoughts toward her handicapped little sister who, for all intents and purposes, didn’t ask for this life either. Vanessa wanted with all her might to run away with Aaron, to leave all the tragedy behind, to start fresh and build a life with the man she felt herself falling deeper and deeper for every day.
Vanessa couldn’t control her tears. Like a busted fire hydrant, she sat on the couch and spewed emotion, sparking a sort of fear in Aaron. A flash of confusion rose through him as he scrambled toward her, asking her in a panicked tone what he did wrong.
“Did I say something to hurt you?” he said, locking eyes with her.
“I… I… I need to tell you something,” Vanessa squeaked between sobs.
“You can tell me anything,” Aaron said, taking her hand. She held onto him, but loosely. Without feeling.
“I have… a little sister,” Vanessa managed to tell him. “She… is six. And I am all she has. That’s why I began stripping. That’s why I can’t stay with you overnight. That’s why I do everything that I do. I am all she has,” Vanessa repeated.
“That's… very admirable,” he said, squeezing her hand. She didn’t squeeze back. “Where…” he began, treading lightly. “Where are… your parents?”
Vanessa’s sobs turned into full-bodied wails, and Aaron knew immediately that he shouldn’t have asked. Her torso quaked with the sobs and she kept gasping for breath as he took her into his arms and rocked her slowly. Up until this point, Aaron found Vanessa to be standoffish, devoid of most human emotion, and that was a huge chunk of his attraction to her. She was a challenge for him, a high wall to scale. And yet, here and now, she was damaged and real, swimming in her own humanity. She was beautiful in a way he hadn’t seen yet, opening up to him in a way he hadn’t expected.
“Listen,” he whispered into her ear. “You don’t have to talk about this now. I’m sorry I asked, okay? Can you forgive me?” He bent his head down and looked into her eyes, glassy with never-ending tears. Vanessa nodded solemnly.
“Okay,” Aaron continued. “It’s up to you, but I can arrange for care for your sister. If you’d rather not go with me, that’s fine. But I think,” he said, a new smile brimming from his mouth, “that you need a vacation. Am I right?”
Vanessa’s tears had dried on her face now, white-hot with the grief he’d accidentally evoked. More than anything, she wanted to get away. She wanted to follow him wherever he went, feel his hand squeeze hers, hear his voice whispering in her ear. He was more than just a sexual side dish to her now. She’d spilled her weakness to him and he didn’t flinch. Maybe this is what it’s like to be with a man, Vanessa considered to herself, realizing that the boys she’d dated in the past held her to a disgusting standard. They expected her to be supremely angelic while they, themselves, were allowed to wallow in their ow
n filth.
“Where are we going?” Vanessa asked timidly.
“The Maldives,” Aaron replied, pulling her lips into his.
Chapter 19
The room was darkening around the two of them, fusing together in the cocoon of coitus. Their skin tones swirled together in the fading light like the exact moment that milk hits a robust espresso. Aaron and Vanessa lay there in his bed for hours as the world carried on. The day darkened and the people piddled around in rooms just a few walls away, and yet the two of them were the only people alive. It felt post-apocalyptic in nature, the way that she kissed him with a tantalizing softness that made him dizzy with desire, the tenacity with which he grabbed her breasts and awakened an animal in her that, all her life, she never knew could exist. It felt as though they were alone in a newly extinct world, a world all to themselves, a world where no one could judge them and there was a sense of urgency about the act: dire, imperative.
They were ferocious with each other at first, shaking in passion pent-up by mounting days of effervescent impatience. Their hands were desperately deliberate, twisting all over each other's skin like a time-lapse video of lush ivy sprouting up a garden wall. She nibbled on his bottom lip, took it between her teeth and gently sucked on it, mentally citing a blurb she read in an issue of Cosmopolitan she stole from her mother's bathroom when she was eleven that stated that such an act would "drive him insane," and ensure that "he'll think about you long afterward." She had kissed like this with every boy before, never questioning the validity of the article. It always seemed cemented in her mind as a sexual gospel of sorts. It couldn't be wrong. She read it in Cosmo at such an age that Cosmo was lauded as a kind of coming-of-age Kama Sutra, a sensual bible for the sexually inept.
Once it was all over—once the two of them thoroughly fatigued themselves, their batteries drained—they lay together as the last shreds of Tuesday bid them farewell. Aaron lay on his back and closed his eyes, watching the color blue float around his mind in several different shades: a whirring rainbow of sapphire behind his eyelids drifting him under a cobalt sky, down an azure river, into a cerulean sleep. And yet, Aaron couldn't sleep, not yet, anyway. Not only was it too early, too premature, too infantile to drift off at this hour, but the primary reason still glimmered beside him. Vanessa was here.
They never talked about Vanessa staying over, never discussed such formalities. In the Maldives, it was all very casually cloak-and-dagger. She would sneak over when the coast was clear, after all the board meetings, after the investors retired back to their own rooms, before dinner would be served and eaten with strained pleasantries in the company of dull colleagues. After all the work of each day was done, Aaron and Vanessa would instantly fall into his bed and begin. No foreplay, just brass tacks. The passion would unfurl as soon as the door to Aaron’s suite shut behind him. They would do something quick, something that felt almost cheap, something that lasted no more than ten minutes.
And then, for the proceeding two hours, they would explore each other's body with their eyes, with the skin-to-skin contact that made every touch feel more charged just because they were there, they were naked, and they were together. They would always do this and, at some point in the afternoon (it was always the afternoon), Vanessa would sigh sharply, almost as if she were expecting something, expecting Aaron to ask her to stay, and of course he never did.
He couldn’t, not with the company hinging on the tightrope of collapse with every passing month of lost revenue. Not when all eyes were on him to turn the profits around. Investors and employees, of course, would flippantly wave off Aaron’s feelings for Vanessa as uncontrollable lust, getting his dick wet with minimal effort. And admittedly, to the casual observer, it seemed that way. But no one knew about Vanessa’s life being snatched away from her just as she stepped over the threshold from adolescence to adulthood. But Aaron recognized that from the unbiased perspective, Vanessa seemed like a hot little side dish, a stereotype in disgusting clarity. As much as he hated himself for doing it, he had to keep his affair with Vanessa a secret until he could turn things around at work. For now, she was his behind closed doors, after the lock clicked itself into place, once the curtains were drawn.
Vanessa’s sigh would always fly out into the air and linger between them, her head resting on his chest and their legs intertwined. She would always make one last-ditch effort to subtly woo him—to make him realize that she couldn't possibly leave him in bed alone—by blinking a few times, her head tilted sideways in schoolgirl naïveté. Butterfly kisses along his chocolate skin.
At first, he was staunch and resolute. No one can find out, he demanded internally. And yet, Vanessa persisted on this Tuesday afternoon as four o’clock loomed over the ocean outside. She didn’t want to leave, she didn’t want him to make her leave, so away her eyelashes fluttered, the tickling across his collarbone radiating through him like an aftershock from the way she’d made him burst in ecstasy just moments before.
“Just stay,” he mumbled into her hair—honey-colored and spilling across the pillow beside him—as he flung his other arm around her, pulling her to fuse with him once again. Afternoon had danced across the electric blue horizon of the sea, painting the skies a different shade of orange with each passing hour. Aaron and Vanessa lay there, limbs tangled together and breaths synchronized below the lapping blades of the ceiling fan, the waves whispering below the deck. Flip-flops clacked against the floorboards outside of the room as hotel guests scuttled out to the impossible blue of the sea. Sleep fell over them, their bodies clean and hollowed out by orgasm, their minds alight with the essence of one another as the orange faded to fuchsia and bathed the sea below in glimmering serenity.
Chapter 20
“I have a secret for you, too,” Aaron whispered as the sun rose across the sea. It illuminated behind Vanessa’s head like a halo as she lay there on the opposite side of the bed, fresh-faced and recharged.
He woke up an hour before she did, pulsating with nerves. Should he tell her? Should he wait? What if she found out? What if he couldn’t control himself? What if he transformed in front of her? Or worse yet, what if he confessed to her what he really was, only for Vanessa to cower away in fear and disgust?
This kind of dilemma was no stranger to the tightly guarded borders of every new relationship, but it felt different in Aaron’s case. He wasn’t confessing to alcoholism or a gambling addiction, or any other recognized personal flaw. It wasn’t even a vice, it was a vandalism of sorts. Someone had systematically eroded him to this periodic monster, this werebear. What if Vanessa couldn’t take it? What if she ran away screaming, out of his life forever?
And yet, she told him what had been done to her. She gushed everything over sun-splashed days pounding along the water: her parents’ car accident, their lack of life insurance, the bills piling up, the epilepsy diagnosis. Then, of course, the day-to-day hardship of being a single parent to a six-year-old, especially at the age of twenty-one. She entrusted Aaron with all of this, setting the stage for a beautiful exchange of information, a dance with shared secrets.
Vanessa nuzzled her face into his chest. Aaron sighed and pulled away, looking her in the eyes.
“Someone… poisoned me,” he began, and her face contorted into a look of pure concern. “Someone poisoned my father and me, both, to infiltrate our company.”
“What?” Vanessa demanded, sitting up. “Are you okay? When was this? Who poisoned you?” Her mouth was spouting questions, unspooling like a roll of thread dropped on the ground.
“Everything’s all right,” Aaron said, calmly. Vanessa lay back down next to him, pulling the covers up over her breasts. “I don’t know for sure who it was,” he continued, “but I think I know who. I’ve placed Mr. Lee in charge of my father’s care while we’re here. He should improve. As for me… though…” Aaron sighed.
What made the situation so much worse was that it was utterly nonsensical. Aaron had become a walking parody, a mythical being that he thought
only existed in fairy tales. How could he tell Vanessa such an absurdity? It sounded asinine even when he thought it. How could he convince her that it was real?
“I was given a rare, military-grade serum,” Aaron belted out. “This serum causes me to… transform…”
“Into what?” Vanessa cut him off, intrigued.
“The military doctor called it a… werebear,” Aaron said, gulping. “As in, a werewolf bear.”
Silence fell across the room, and only the lapping of the waves could be heard outside as the landscape of the Maldives revved up for another day, totally unaware of the confession made within these walls. Aaron let his head fall into his hands, hopeless, wondering how to salvage the morning. He’d ruined the conversation, unleashing this venom of a secret to someone who—rightfully so—couldn’t take it all in.
Something stirred inside Vanessa; curling up around her soul. Her mind sizzled with a mix of fear and confusion bubbling up together in tandem with one another. What is a werebear? Her mind spiraled with the question, over and over again, until it no longer sounded ridiculous in her train of thought. It was intriguing somehow; overpowering in its allure. The notion of being craved by this beast of a man with rippling muscles and overflowing appeal. His confession felt more and more normal with each wave of realization across her mind; so much so that Vanessa didn’t even feel the need to sour the moment with her own commentary.
“Aaron,” Vanessa broke the stillness. “What do you want out of life?”
Shock drizzled through him. “What?” he asked, lifting his head to face her.
“What do you want out of life?” she asked again. “Have you already achieved your dreams? Are you still searching for something?”
He let his eyes wander outside to the cyan sea, and the way the sunlight glimmered across the surface of the waves. All he wanted was normalcy, to be average, to not be considered such a commodity.
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