“She saw me in the flower shop buying you the roses. I told her you were going away for a week.”
Easy enough. Innocent enough. So, why did it bug Elise just enough? Perhaps it was the fact of the woman’s legs that went up to there, or the beach-perfect complexion, or the fact that she read it all over that blond bombshell that she was interested in Darren, not just for medical advice, but for his own anatomy. But wasn’t that a good thing? Wouldn’t that take Elise off the hook? One would think. Sometimes it took a nudge from someone else to finally get you off the diving board and into the water.
“What are you doing here, anyway? I was going to pick you up.”
Elise drove a finger around the edge of his desk, wondering how to treat this delicate situation. The right thing would be to let him go. She knew she had issues and he deserved better. Anyway, space was limited in her comfort zone. Nothing more could be promised than a toothbrush firmly planted next to his. Nothing more and nothing less.
Why not release him back into the wild, to the waiting arms of Blonde Bimbo? Maybe, but not now.
“I got off early and thought I’d swing by.”
“Well, aren’t I the lucky guy?” He slipped his medical coat off and grabbed his briefcase off the corner of his desk.
“By the way, I made reservations at Ollie’s. We’ll get there a little early, but it should be okay.”
Elise suggested they drive separately so they wouldn’t have to make a special trip back downtown to pick up her car. It gave her a chance to strategize about their last evening before she left. She certainly didn’t want to offer him false hope, but she didn’t want to gift wrap him for Stacy What’s Her Name, either.
Why couldn’t all relationships just live in the beginning month? There was no drama in the first couple weeks of dating. Only pure fable living at its best—everyone on their kindest behavior, no pouting, and more importantly, no scary commitment talk.
With green lights the whole way there, they arrived more quickly than she had time to decide how to leave it with him. She would do her best, promise nothing, and ignore any talk about the future. They would have a lovely meal, kiss, and leave. Problem solved.
Darren helped her out of her car when they arrived, kissing her after she stood up. He was ever the gentleman as they walked hand in hand into the posh restaurant. She’d never dated such a guy while living in California. She had to pinch herself several times in their months together just to remind herself he was with her. With her! Soon the pinching would cease.
The hostess escorted them to a secluded booth toward the back. It was evening, so the restaurant had already turned the lights down, making it feel later than it actually was.
Sprays of fresh cut flowers stood in vases on pedestals and the fragrance lingered in the air. Elise opened her menu and scanned the pages for the light fare. Her nerves weren’t accepting anything else that evening. The waiter took their orders and they sipped on the wine Darren had ordered when they were seated. Elise was finishing her second glass by the time her cloth napkin hit her lap.
“I’m not going to mention anything about the white elephant that is sitting with us at the table tonight,” Darren said half-heartedly.
“Who invited him, anyway?” Elise swallowed more of her wine before setting the glass down on the perfectly white linen cloth.
“I certainly didn’t. I wish he would just take a hint and go away.”
Elise offered a look of sympathy, regretting how fast their ship had sunk into the abyss of dejection. Another poor soul just waiting for the gravestone marker. “I’m sorry, Darren.”
“I never wanted to screw things up with you, Elise. I wish I’d never suggested moving in together.” His lips said it, but she doubted it was true. He only regretted her reaction.
“I guess the only way to get the elephant to leave is to talk it away. Do you want to?” Oh, Lord, what did she just say? What was in this wine, anyway? Truth serum? Did he lace it before they arrived? The waiter seemed to have a code look with Darren as he was pouring it. Stop talking, dumb girl. Leave it alone. Elephants don’t take up that much space. Learn to live with the lovely two-ton creature.
“I would like to talk about it. Yes.” He jumped on her invitation like wings to a Victoria’s Secret model.
Oh, shit. She had done it now. She opened the door and welcomed the inquisitor inside to explore the deepest parts of her that she never even loitered around. She chugged the last two full sips of wine and withheld a tiny air bubble that made her giggle when it popped in her throat. He would now get the first graders version, as the alcohol swirled inside her bloodstream. “Well, Darren,” she said with her eyes speaking more than her mouth. “Some people are scared of spiders; some are scared of tall buildings. But I’m scared of commitment. In fact, it scares the shit right out of me.”
Easy as can be. Admitted and stated the obvious. This counted as fourth base to Elise.
Before Darren could say anything to her self-professed flaw, the food arrived. Elise’s woozy eyes swerved around both plates, her stomach growling at the thought of eating something an actual chef had prepared. The grilled chicken was nestled on its bed of wine sauce and the snap peas did not beckon her as much as his fillet mignon draped in wild mushrooms and béarnaise sauce. She tried not to stare at his entree with wanting eyes. Darren seemed oblivious to everything except their interrupted conversation.
“Have you ever been in a relationship more serious than ours?” Did he even notice the perfectly seared steak, posing on his plate softly whispering her name?
She began cutting her chicken as the peas slipped out from under it. After finishing chewing a small bite, she nonchalantly answered without looking up from her plate. Oh, my gosh! What was in this sauce? Euphoria danced in her head as the perfect mixture of ingredients drowned her taste buds. The intoxication from her two glasses of wine was obviously taking the sting of reality from their dinner conversation. “Not really. Well, maybe once, a very long time ago.”
He leaned in closer, his tie in jeopardy of becoming another fatality in the stained basket at home. “Do you ever want to...I mean...ever?”
That did it. That broke the trance she had made with her entree, the one that tasted nothing like what sat on Darren’s plate, getting cold from his examination of her. She slowly looked up, fork and knife in mid-air.
“Darren, some people are meant to wander the world single.” She twisted her knife, using it as a pointer for her argument. “I’m not saying it’s a good way to find yourself at the age of sixty-two and no one to take care of you after foot surgery.” She was certainly referring to her very much alone mother. “I’m just saying that sometimes that’s where you find yourself. That’s all.”
“Sounds like a lonely zip code.” He leaned back, picked up his fork and knife and began cutting into the meal that no longer seemed to match his appetite.
Elise looked up from her dwindling mound of peas and chicken. “It can be, but it’s a curse, not a choice.” Her sobering eyes fell from his and she pushed the plate an inch away from her. This wasn’t just a girl fearing the fact of settling down. She was running from the ghosts in her past, the ones that haunted her in her nightmares, somewhere still lingering, where perhaps only a professional could help her see past.
They finished their meal with little more to say on the half-beaten horse of moving forward. Dessert was turned down, the check was paid and they walked to Elise’s car.
No ounce of joy could be found in his face when she finally looked at him. He stood next to her car door and played with her fingers. “I’m going to miss you more than you know.”
Elise hated endings of any kind. “I’m going to miss you, too. But I am coming back, you know?” She lifted his chin with her finger and gave him a smile that felt sweet.
False hope alert.
“Let me spend the night and drive you to the airport in the morning?” His eyes perked up with the notion that allowed him more time with her
. A bubble too full of expectation for even her to pop.
She turned the toes of her shoes in and out, unable to step out of this web so easily. “All right, Darren.”
He kissed her profusely on the lips and cheeks. “I’ll follow you.” He waited to shut her door and ran to his car to keep up with her.
This was certainly not the plan she had devised for the evening. No hint of it. What the hell? Now he was spending the night? Again? Had he penetrated her force field?
Withstood the rumble and aftershocks of the nine months’ earthquake? She took a cleansing breath and revised her outlook. He’d spend the night, drive her to the airport, and wait very neutrally until she returned. She would have to limit phone conversations during the week, too, of course. Once every other day should be enough. She would wean both him and herself of their dependency of one another. But was distance enough to stop this runaway train of commitment?
She grabbed her bags out of the car and met him on her front stoop. She opened the door and set her things inside. “I have to give my flowers some water, first.”
“Who’s going to water them when you’re away?” he asked.
“I’m just going to put the hanging baskets in the back where it’s shady and hope for some rain.”
He helped her unwrap the hose and turned the spigot on. “I’ll come over and water them for you.”
She laughed and sprayed her marigolds. “You don’t even water your own. You have a gardener.”
His jaw pinched shut and he tilted his head down while flashing her a don’t-get-me-started look. “I have a gardener because I don’t have time to plant, weed, and maintain the outside of my house. But I am more than capable of coming over here and sprinkling your flowers so they won’t die while you’re gone.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you.” She continued spraying her appreciative flowers.
“I didn’t mean to bite your head off, either.” He stepped toward her, hugging her from the side. “I’m just cranky because you’re leaving.”
“That’s okay. I’m just going to set them out back. I don’t want you to have to worry about them. They’re just flowers.” The only thing that she looked forward to, coming to a home where no one else waited for her.
He left it alone and meandered around the yard while she finished up. Afterward, they went inside to wrestle with the awkwardness of the next couple hours. Darren rested on her bed and waited for her to shower and change into her gown. When she came out of the bathroom, he threw the magazine he’d been reading back on the nightstand.
“I have some boxer shorts if you need them after your shower.” She released her hair from the French twist she’d made to keep her hair dry.
“I don’t even want to ask who they belong to.” He started to stand up.
Elise threw a pillow at him from her bed. “They’re mine, you punk. I like to occasionally wear them to bed. They might not fit you, but we could always try.”
He moved around the bed to where she was folding the covers back and kissed her shoulder. His large hands held her firmly by her sides. “I think I’ll pass. I’ll just have to sleep in the buff tonight.” A grin appeared on his face.
Elise whipped around and stood face to face with him. “Darren, I need to wake up at five o’clock, the latest.”
Before she could finish objecting, he cupped the back of her neck and drew her in with one fell swoop. His passion ravished her, diminishing her protest. Her eyes closed as he moved from her lips to her neck, and then to the shoulder where he had pulled her gown down. Her body jolted inside from the charge he was sending her.
Darren never made it to the shower that night and Elise never made it to set her alarm for five o’clock. When the sun’s rays finally broke through the cracks in her blinds, she flew awake like the resurrection of a coma victim.
“Oh, shit! Darren, wake up! I overslept.” She jumped out of bed so quickly she didn’t realize she was still naked. She dashed to the bathroom faster than his eyes had time to focus.
He rubbed his eyes and squinted at the bedside clock. After the time it took to figure out where he was and what was happening, he jumped up and grabbed his pants that still lay by the bed. “We’ll be fine, Elise.”
He yelled through the bathroom door, over the sounds of running water and a lot of profanity spoken by her.
She swung the door open with a toothbrush hanging from her mouth and her hair strung out in several different directions. “I’m screwed,” she sputtered out, toothpaste dripping down her chin.
“Nonsense. It’s only six thirty. I can drive like a NASCAR driver to the airport.”
“I doubt I could make it with wings at this point.” She spit the last amount of paste from her mouth and then lassoed her hair into a band. Luckily she had picked an outfit out the night before. She slipped it on and powered blush on her cheeks at the same time. Darren carried her suitcases out to his car and came back inside, ramming his bare feet into his dress shoes. He paced back and forth before throwing the covers up over her bed. Elise threw on some comfortable flats as she grabbed her overnight case over her shoulder.
She snatched the tickets and her purse before locking the house and running to the car with Darren.
On the way to the airport she closed her eyes and prayed she wouldn’t miss her flight. Darren drove with stealth and agility between the daily commuting cars. “Baby, you’re going to make it. I’m so sorry we’re late.”
“It’s not your fault. I just feel like I missed something.” She looked back, wondering what it could’ve been. He rubbed her nervous hand and flashed her a reassuring look.
They made it with seconds to spare. Darren illegally parked at the front and piled her cases onto a sky shuttle. One of the handles pinched his hand. He made no noise, his eyes wincing a little but never leaving hers. Jet noise and loud travelers polluted the space around them. Exhaust fumes from waiting taxis made it hard to breathe.
Elise began to turn when suddenly he grabbed her, kissing her hard, knocking away what frail defense she had left against him. Words long ago rehearsed for this moment became locked beneath her vocal chords. Her arms lacked the strength to push him back, and just like that she’d become a victim of crushes, puppy dog eyes, and drawing hearts around their joint names. His hand held the back of her head as his mouth powerfully delivered a goodbye kiss not to be forgotten. The heat from his body as it made contact felt like a searing fajita against a cast iron platter. After her eyes opened, she realized she had slipped. Slipped into some fashion of commitment brought on by departures at airports, train stations, and boat docks. Without clearance from her brain, her heart threw out, “I love you.”
It wasn’t long before she thrust herself into the crowd of travelers, destination Bowling Green, Kentucky. The place that held her troubled past.
Minutes stretched into hours, as Elise stared at the headrest in front of her. How could she? Did she? It was hard to say. She hadn’t waited to see the recognition in Darren’s eyes. She’d barely made it out alive; the bottoms of her shoes had slipped on the glossy floors as she tried to run away. Surely there had been so much commotion he wouldn’t have heard anything correctly, anyway.
Not wanting to know what he thought, she concocted a plan to simply go the entire week without calling him or checking her phone. That way she’d never have to know the damage done with the words that escaped her lips like convicted felons. It was all such an out-of-body experience for her.
She woke out of her daydream when she heard the pilot announce plans for landing. After exiting the plane, her stomach somersaulting over the new dilemma that awaited her, Elise moved zombie-like to the baggage claim and stretched to retrieve her luggage. She was finally standing on Kentucky soil, miles from the crime she’d just committed. She stacked the matching red cases and pulled the long extension handle to begin rolling them, in search of her sister. She didn’t have to wander far. From out of nowhere, two kids plowed her over, hugging and grabbing her legs
.
“Aunt Elise!” they shouted, as they tried their best to pull her down to their level.
Elise dropped her bags and bent over to bear-hug each of them. The little girl with freckles like her mother smiled with a full set of teeth, while the little boy pierced her with eyes like his father’s. “Hey, guys. What a perfect welcome.” She looked up to see her dark-haired sister smiling at the two children she had unleashed to find her. A few more wrinkles sat in the corners of her eyes, but she was still able to hold title to homecoming princess, if the chance ever arose again. “I see you did make it, after all.”
Elise broke from the four tiny arms that clung to her and bent over and hugged her sister tightly. “It’s so good to see you, Melanie.”
“You, too, sister.” Melanie took a few cases and Mason and Faith hung on to Elise’s hands, talking a hundred words a minute, both being in competition for her full attention.
“Guys!” Melanie said, placing her finger to her lips. “Aunt Elise just got here. Give her a minute before you bombard her with everything you know.” She ended her command with a slight smile and a shake of the head.
The foursome stumbled out of the airport together, Elise following after Melanie, and the kids following Elise, like ducks in a line. She was starving after her seven-hour flight.
Somehow the half-stale-looking sandwich she’d turned down from the flight attendant had become a sorrowfully missed opportunity in her recollection. “Is Mom all right? Why didn’t you stay with her? I told you I could rent a car.”
After locking the seatbelt for Faith in the back, Melanie got into the driver’s seat. “It went fine. She’s already back home. Aunt Hildie is sitting with her. I picked up her prescriptions and then I swung over and picked up you. We’ll go back to her house now and check on her.”
Elise stopped breathing for a few seconds after Melanie revealed the itinerary. A brief paralysis had overcome her entire body, making her involuntary muscles temporarily out of order. Thoughts of her mother often did this to her. The woman who worked hard to raise her daughters and have them want for nothing, except a father. Somehow she placed this inequity on Elise, as if it was her daughter’s fault for him leaving their home. Some nights, she could remember hearing her mother cry in the bathroom and not understanding why.
The Kentucky Cure Page 5