by K. L. Myers
“Peanut,” I call out as I enter my room, then wait for a response.
“I not here, Uncle Wuv.”
I chuckle inwardly that the boy has the audacity to respond that he isn’t in my room and then expects me to leave. I walk over to my bed and drop to my knees, lifting the covers so I can see the space between the box spring and the floor.
“Peanut, come on, buddy, we have to get going. That pretty doctor lady is waiting to see you.” Why not bribe him with Lillian's good looks? Hell, if it were me, I’d be running for the door.
“I no go. Not wanna go. Pwease, Uncle Wuv, no make me go.”
His scared little eyes look back at me, begging for a reprieve as he scoots further back under the bed. “Come on, buddy; I promise everything is going to be just fine. You’ll see.” I reach my arm between the floor and the bed and latch onto his hand, pulling him out from underneath. Holding him tightly in my arms, I kiss the top of his head. “I know you’re scared, buddy, but I promise that I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Pwomise?”
His eyes look up at me begging for me to reassure him, and that’s exactly what I do. I promise on the stars above that he will be just fine. Now I have to hope and pray that Dr. Lillian Vicci is as good as everyone claims she is.
When we reach the hospital, I keep everything professional, even though I want to pull Lillian aside and kiss her senseless. But this isn’t the time for that. No, this is the time to put aside my desires and focus on Peanut. I try to avoid going into pre-op with him, but he begs and insists that I have to be there.
Bethany stands beside Peanut, his little hand held tight in hers. “Sweet baby, you remember what Mommy said, right?” His little head bobs up and down. “The doctor is going to fix your heart, so it works better. The nurses are going to help the doctor make you better, so they’re going to give you some medicine that will make you sleep so you won’t feel anything. When you wake up, Uncle Love and Mommy will be right beside you, but soon, they have to take you away from us for a little bit.”
Tears start rolling down Peanut’s cheeks. “No, Mommy, you no leave. I go home, pwease.”
I want to give in and take him away, but I know I can’t. What I can do is give him my strength. With a wave of my hand over his forehead, moving his bangs away from his skin, I lean down and kiss his forehead. “Remember when Uncle Love had to get his stomach fixed?” Peanut wipes away his tears with his tiny fist and nods. “Well, remember you wanted to go with me and the doctor said no, you had to stay with your mommy and hold her hand, so she wouldn’t be alone?” Once again, he nods at me. “Well, that’s what your mommy has to do for me now, hold my hand, so I’m not alone. Otherwise, she’d be right there with you.”
A surprised look covers his face. “You scared, Uncle Wuv?”
“Yeah, buddy, I am.”
His free little hand grabs mine. “Why you scared?”
“I’m scared, Peanut, because I don’t want to sit in the big room by myself. Too many strangers around.”
Peanut lets go of my hand and motions for me to lower my head so he can whisper in my ear, “Otay, Uncle Wuv, Mommy can stay wit you, so you no get scared.” I kiss his forehead once again. “You know, Uncle Wuv, you kinda chicken for a grownup.”
I start to laugh, but then Lillian steps into the room. “Hello, Jefferson—” She clears her throat. “I mean, Peanut. How are you today? Are you ready to get all better?”
“Yup,” Peanut yells out, not showing an ounce of fear, even though I know he is still scared inside. “My uncle Wuv is scared ‘cause he’s a chicken.”
Lillian laughs briefly before introducing Joseph, the surgery tech. “Joseph here is going to take you to a big room and make you all comfortable, and then I’ll be right in, okay, Peanut? I just need to give your uncle a quick pep talk, so he doesn’t have to be scared. How’s that sound?” And at a nod of Peanut’s little head, Joseph begins to roll him away.
As the door closes, Bethany breaks out into tears as she clings to my side. I was fine until she broke down. Lillian goes over exactly what will take place and what we should expect. Though the risks are low, I know there will always be the chance that this is the last conversation I had with Peanut.
I take the liberty to stop Lillian before she leaves the room. “Doc, I promised that boy he’d be fine and he had nothing to worry about. Don’t make me a liar, Lillian. I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to him. Promise me he’ll be alright.”
Lillian places her hand on my bicep, giving it a light squeeze. “You know I won’t promise you that, Lincoln. I can’t promise you something I can’t guarantee. But I will promise you that I will make sure that everything that can be done on my part to make your nephew better and we bring him back to you healthy will be done.”
That is it. All she says before she turns and walks away, leaving me with Bethany alone in the room. My heart is in the pit of my stomach, and my chest is aching and empty.
Four hours pass, and still no word on how Peanut is doing. I’m a mess, but Bethany is a disaster. Caroline, my mom, and Dad all sit waiting with us for any news that could possibly give us insight into how things are progressing. Caroline’s six children are at home with a sitter, thank God, because I’m not sure I could keep a cool head with all of them running around. By the time the clock hits the five hour mark, I am pretty much done with not having any answers. It doesn’t matter how much money I have; no one seems to be in the know. I’m just about to get up and find the president of the hospital when the door opens, and in walks Lillian. She looks exhausted and frankly, quite frazzled. My heart plummets with a sick feeling.
“Jefferson is in recovery. We were able to repair the hole, and he’s resting fine. You’ll be able to see him shortly.” Lillian answers a couple of questions Bethany tosses out to her and then turns to walk away. I follow closely behind her, and once we are out of the room, I reach out for her arm, then tug her to me and hug her. At first, her body is tense, but as I hold tighter and whisper, “Thank you so much” over and over again, she begins to relax. When my eyes meet hers, I know she feels as comforted by my hug as I feel by hers. I want to kiss her senseless but hold back and break eye contact for a brief moment, but it’s long enough for Lillian to compose herself and pull away.
Chapter Fourteen
LILLIAN
When I step into the operating room, Jefferson has already been placed under by the anesthesiologist. I take my place beside Jefferson and call out to my surgical nurse, “Scalpel.” Within minutes, my pint-size patient’s sternum is opened.
As my assistant works to remove the thymus, I lose a little focus, remembering the day I spoke with Bethany on the phone about Jefferson.
My conversation was focused on trying to calm her down from her hysterical mood swing. She had taken Jefferson to another cardiologist over a year ago and was seeing no progress in reducing his symptoms. In fact, they appeared to be getting worse. She had researched online looking for the top doctors in the field of children's cardiology, which led her to me. My schedule had been packed, and the first appointment I had was months out. She begged and begged me to make an opening, claiming that money wasn’t an issue; she’d pay three times what I charged any other patient. Something about her pleading took hold of my heart, and I gave in, agreeing to stay late one night just so I could meet her and her son. After several tests, I knew there was no way Jefferson would be able to live a normal, healthy life with VSD, and was happy I had made the time to see her and Jefferson.
“The thymus has been removed,” my assisting surgeon says, pulling my attention back to the table.
“I’m opening the pericardium,” I advise and remove a portion to be used to fix the hole in the septum. Once I reach the tiny heart, my eyes glance across the table to the perfusion technologist working with me today, otherwise known as the blood flow specialist. “Prepare for bypass.” Once the tubes are properly in place, I give the go-ahead to initiate bypass. Afte
r the CPB has taken over, cardioplegia is administered to stop Jefferson's heart, so my team and I can work to repair the hole in the septum between the ventricles. I keep hearing Linc’s voice. Don’t make me a liar, Lillian. And for the first time in my career, I feel something I’ve never felt before. SCARED.
I don’t get close to my patients for a reason; I need to be able to do my job without emotions. But today, I’m struggling to do that. I knew that date with Lincoln was a bad Idea. Damn it, Lillian, get your head in the game, I reprimand myself internally.
“Four hours,” the attending anesthesiologist calls out. I’ve had a few challenges with Jefferson along the way, but we are at the point now that we can take him off bypass. “Switch off bypass,” I say to the attending blood flow specialist, and he does. Just as I’m ready to close Jefferson up, his heart rate starts to drop. Oh, God, no, I think to myself. “Defibrillators,” I call out, and I’m handed a set of paddles and quickly shock the tiny heart in front of me. “Please, please, little man, be strong.” Internally, I pray, but nothing happens. The nurse is quickly pumping air into his little lungs, and I send another jolt to his heart. It takes a moment, but I watch as the solid, straight line makes a little spike. Tension is high in the room as we all watch the monitor as it begins to confirm that once again, Jefferson’s little heart is beating on its own.
With a sigh of relief, I turn to my attending. “Close him up, please.” I don’t wait to hear his confirmation. I have a great team, one I’d stake my life on to do a good job. Today, I was the weak link.
Once I’m out of the operating room, I strip out of my blood-soaked scrubs and try to find some semblance of calmness before I go out to speak with the family. I run through the whole surgery in my mind, second-guessing if I did something that could have caused Jefferson’s heart to fail as it came off bypass. I should have been a machine in there, no emotions, but I wasn’t. I push all thoughts of negativity out of my mind as I head toward the waiting room.
As I step into the room, I immediately find Lincoln. He looks angry, as if he is about to burst, but when he sees me, a calmness seems to come over him. Bethany quickly stands beside her brother. “Jefferson is in recovery,” I tell them. “We were able to repair the hole, and he is resting fine. You should be able to see him shortly.” I leave out the part where I almost lost her son.
Bethany reaches out to me, taking my hand in hers, and squeezes tightly. “Thank you so much.”
I wish she wouldn’t thank me. Would she still be thanking me if I told her I almost lost her little boy? I wonder.
“So, how long before I can see him?” Bethany inquires
“As I said before, he is in recovery. Once Jefferson is set, I’ll send a nurse out to get you, Bethany. It shouldn’t be very long.” I turn and head toward the door, making a run for it before anyone asks anything else. I think I’m home free once I enter the hallway, but then I feel a hand tighten around my arm, spinning me around and tugging me into a wall of warmth and muscle. The smell of sandalwood and musk fills my nose. It’s a smell that is singular to him and him alone. One I’ve never smelled until Friday morning.
My body immediately goes rigid, worrying if anyone is watching this. “Thank you so much,” Lincoln’s voice whispers into my ear. His body is shaking as he continues to say it over and over again. I give in and let my arms wrap around him as well. I feel his heart rate decrease, and a calmness takes over. I am enjoying being in his arms way too much. So much that my own heartbeat begins to increase as his calms. His breath on my neck is sending shivers down my spine while my nipples begin to harden. His eyes meet mine as if trying to read my thoughts, but when he closes his briefly, it is all I need to come to my senses and break away from his embrace.
Like a frightened mouse, I scurry away, finding solace in an empty patient room when all I want to do is stay and be held by Linc.
Chapter Fifteen
Two Months Later
LINCOLN
For two months now, I’ve thought of nothing but Lillian when I’ve not been at work. Thankfully, my job kept me occupied twenty of the twenty-four hours in a day. I flew to London several times and spent the majority of my time in New York negotiating a buyout of a failing British banking and insuring company. Peanut is home and doing very well, according to Bethany. Every time she asked me to come home for one of his appointments, I was unfortunately scheduled to be abroad. I knew one thing for sure; an eighty-one billion dollar deal requires me to be focused on all aspects of the transaction, so quick jaunts to Virginia weren’t in the plan. But today, the deal is done. All signatures have been finalized, and I can now find my way back home.
I’ve tried to call Lillian several times, but by the third call with no response, I got the message all too clearly. Lillian Vicci doesn’t have time for me. She mentioned as much on our date, but after today, I’m not giving her an option to ignore me.
The first stop I make once I land in Virginia is Bethany’s. I need to see firsthand how Peanut is doing. Before I even step out of the car, the front door to Bethany’s home opens, and Peanut is standing there waving. His face is full of excitement that I’m sure mirrors mine. Equally excited, I slam the door and run up the drive, dropping to my knees in front of him, so we’re at eye level.
“Uncle Wuv, I miss you. Mommy says you coming today.”
“How are you, little man? You look healthy as a bug.”
“I not a bug. I Superman” He holds up his Superman figurine. “My stuperpower make me all better.”
I look up at Bethany, who is now standing beside Peanut, and she nods her head confirming he is all better. I knew the surgery had been a success, but there were brief periods when Peanut was not healing properly and got an infection. It killed me not to be here, but I knew he was in capable hands.
“Let’s go inside, shall we?” Bethany speaks up.
After three hours of watching over Peanut and talking with Bethany, it’s clear to me that Peanut is doing better than expected, even with the minor setback he went through. Now, it’s time to pay Dr. Vicci a visit.
All the lights are on in her home. There is no way she is avoiding me now. I don’t know why I feel the need to sneak up on her front door; maybe it’s the fact that she’s been avoiding my calls and I’m concerned she’ll ignore the door if she knows it’s me. “Stop acting stupidly,” I tell myself as I knock on the door.
“Just a minute.” I hear her call out from inside.
The front door opens, and a slightly disheveled Lillian stands there in surprise. Her mahogany hair atop her head isn’t perfect. She’s in yoga pants and a tank top, braless, and breathtakingly beautiful. If I thought she was magnificent in the dress she picked out months ago on our date, I was wrong. This version of her is heart-stoppingly beautiful, so it’s a good thing she’s a cardiologist.
“Wh-what are you doing here, Linc?” Her eyes flash between excitement and skiddishness. Like a rabbit who is afraid to be caught in a trap but excited to go after the carrot.
“You’ve been avoiding me, Doc. This time, I’m not letting you avoid me.” I push my way past her, then I slam the door behind me. Before I know it, my animal instincts take over, pressing her back against the door and consuming her lips with mine. At first, she fights the kiss, but I can feel the moment she gives in. Her arms wrap around my neck, her hand pulling at my hair as she returns the harshness of the kiss. I bite her bottom lip, tugging it between my teeth only to let go when her mouth opens. My tongue plunges into her mouth, twining with hers in a desperate attempt to claim her as mine and show her who’s boss. Our teeth collide as her own desire to be my equal kicks in. When we finally break apart, we are both breathless.
“Holy fuck, Doc, that was…” I stare at her, at a loss for words to finish the sentence. Lillian looks equally fazed. The lust in her eyes tells me she feels the same. Our mouths collide once again as we devour each other, only this time Lillian becomes the aggressor, her hands pulling at my shirt, untucking it from the
waistband of my jeans.
I reach down, grabbing her ass and lifting her. Lillian wraps her legs around my waist as I break the kiss just long enough to ask the question, “Bedroom. Where, Lillian?”
She’s breathless and panting. “Stairs, last door.” Once I hear where I’m headed, my lips find hers once again. I start to walk toward the stairs, breaking the kiss for a moment to see if she changes her mind. Our eyes look back at one another, heat scorching from them, and I begin to take the stairs one by one. My cock is rock hard, rubbing against her center as I climb. Lillian’s lips part, but before she can say anything, I quickly close mine over hers. There is no way I’m giving her an option to back out now; she had that one chance at the bottom of the stairs.
When we reach the top of the stairs, I stop and press her against the wall, grinding my cock into her. Lillian draws in a quick breath followed by a moan of desire that has me growling and quickly moving us toward her bedroom. Once inside, I toss her on the bed and begin to unbutton my shirt. “Strip, Lillian.” My voice is harsh and demanding as I say the words. She obeys and quickly starts removing her clothing.
My cock springs free when I step out of my pants, the tip weeping with desire for her. I’ve imagined what she would look like all those months, but it didn’t do justice to the vision before me. Her tiny brown areolas complement her naturally olive skin. Her nipples are hard tiny peaks standing at attention. Her chest rises and falls with anticipation. My eyes continue down her body. Her taut abdomen confirms that she obviously works out to stay in shape. Long, slender, toned legs part, showing off her bare pussy, already wet and begging for attention.