Sarah Anne had never seen Teri like this, even after the rape. Teri was a born fighter, always coming up swinging no matter what life threw at her, but it seemed there was no fight left in her anymore, just the defeated acceptance that she had nothing left to live for. Sarah Anne set the tray of food on the table beside the bed.
Teri turned her face away. “I’m not hungry.”
Sarah Anne drew open the curtains on the window beside the bed. “You have to eat.”
Teri glared out the window to the sunshine beyond. “I don’t have to do anything.”
Not even take the next breath. The thought was whispered into Sarah’s mind. She blinked. Had that thought been real or imagined? She shook her head and sighed.
“Death is not an option for you.”
That snapped Teri’s head around. Her hand clenched in the blanket. “Don’t tell me what to do.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not; it’s just that . . .” How did one go about telling someone they had a werewolf husband? Sarah Anne sat on the side of the bed. “This may be hard for you to understand, but to save your life, Daire took you as mate.”
“How did that save my life?”
“Bonded mates share a life force. Daire is a very strong were. As long as he lives, you will, too.” Sarah took the napkin off the tray and settled it across Teri’s legs. “So you’re starving yourself for nothing.”
Teri met her gaze. The dark circles under her eyes made the green of her hazel eyes even brighter in her pale face. “John died.”
Yes, he had, because Sarah Anne had never given him her mark. Because she hadn’t told him who she was. Because she’d been pretending her wolf side didn’t exist. The guilt of that would haunt her the rest of her life. “I didn’t bond with John.”
“He loved you.”
And she had loved him. Not to her full capacity, but she had loved him enough. She blinked and the guilt surged in. She’d cheated him on so much and he hadn’t cared. He’d just been happy to be with her, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was because he didn’t know what he was missing or if he’d loved her so much he’d taken what he could get. “I cheated John.”
“You cheated on him?”
She shook her head. “I cheated him of the love he should’ve had. He was a very good man. He gave me two wonderful children, and I cared very much about him, but I didn’t love him enough to mate with him the way Daire mated with you.”
“You’re saying Daire loves me?”
“Love is a human concept.”
“One I’m fond of.”
“I know. But a werewolf is born knowing there’s one person out there for him or her. One perfect match. A werewolf lives with that sense of perpetual loneliness every day of their life. It grows year after year as they wait for their mates.” She took Teri’s hand and squeezed it. “Daire is an ancient. His life has been very long. So has his wait.”
Teri’s expression became guarded. “So what’s that mean to me?”
“It means the instant he saw you, he knew what you meant to him. He knew he’d found the other half of his soul. It means he wasn’t going to let you die.”
“I didn’t ask him to save me.”
“I know, but your life is now bound to his. You won’t die until he dies, barring a catastrophe.”
The horror that filled Teri’s eyes marked her as very human. “That’s crazy.”
Sarah decided it was time to speak plainly.
“No, that’s what it means to be loved by a werewolf. You will never be alone. You will never be undefended. You’ll be always be guarded, pampered and protected. Your children will be loved, guarded, protected. So I guess it’s safe to say, no one will ever love you more.”
Teri’s hand went to her stomach. “That has to come at a price.”
“Yes.” There was a price for everything. “Your mate will expect obedience, and he will expect the same devotion back.”
Teri shook her head and pulled her hand free. “I can’t love anybody like that.”
Sarah Anne disagreed. “I don’t think you know how to love any other way.”
“I hate him.”
Sarah nodded. “I know that, too. But you have to find a way to get around that, because from here on he’s going to be the biggest part of your life.”
Just as she had to accept that Garrett was the biggest part of hers.
FOUR hours later, Sarah Anne descended the stairs, a sense of anticipation humming in her blood. As he had for the last two days, Garrett was waiting for her, standing in front of the big windows. He looked so handsome with the setting sun reflecting off the hazel of his eyes, making them more green, amplifying the emotion inside.
No one will ever love you more.
The words she’d spoken to Teri came back to her as she crossed to him. No one would ever love her more than this man. He would take everything she had, demand everything she could give, but in return . . .
Garrett reached out, and in that gesture she was beginning to recognize implied comfort. He ran his fingers down her cheek.
“But in return,” he finished the thought for her, “I’ll give you everything I am.”
“You read my mind.”
“You make it easy.”
Maybe she did. And maybe she did it on purpose. Garrett was nothing like she’d thought a wolf husband would be. He was so much more. Legend was that each mate was created for the needs of the other. She thought of Teri up in the room battling depression and loss, refusing everything Daire offered, including comfort. She thought of how hard she’d tried to make John happy while holding herself back. She thought of how Garrett never held back, just making the most of what he had, as if it was about to be taken away.
She caught his hand in hers. “I’ll try to give you what you want.”
She needed him to understand she’d accepted this mating.
There was a flicker of something in his eyes. Disappointment? Hurt? It was impossible to tell from his tone.
Squeezing her hand, he tugged her toward the door. “This is enough.”
He could tell himself that, but there was no way that it could be. A male wolf needed his woman’s complete devotion. Garrett might be a mixed-breed, but everything in him, every instinct from the one that had him defending her to the one that dictated their marking was pure, unadulterated wolf. She reached up and covered her mark. Their lives were bound. There was no going back. Not for him. Not for her. Was that why he said it was enough? Because neither one of them had any choice? How could that be enough for either of them?
“Where is Megan?”
He steered her down the stairs, stopping her at the last step before stepping down himself, leaving them at eye level. “I want my kiss first.”
There was no smile on his face as he made that statement. From anyone else, she would have considered it a tease. From Garrett? Darn! She wished he was easier to read. Taking a chance, she looped her arms around his neck and smiled at him. “Okay.”
His start was almost a reprimand. Had she really been that cold to him? She threaded her fingers through his hair. She liked the way it felt running through her fingers, cool and silky.
“A kiss, huh?”
His palm opened over her spine. She pushed away her worry for her son, pushed away everything except this man and this moment. Feeling as though she were stepping off a cliff and tumbling into the rest of her life, she said, “I can probably arrange that.”
Again that start, on his part, that whipped through her like guilt. He was guarding her child, searching for her son, putting his life on the line for her, and she had done so little in return.
“I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Yes, she did. “You deserve better.”
His hand in the small of her back pulled her up. “I have what’s mine.”
Mine. She’d always hated that word before with all the loss of self she’d assumed it implied. Now it settled with disturbing comfort
over her raw nerves, more wolf in her than she’d ever expected rising to accept the claim.
No, she realized, he didn’t. And he’d go to his grave fighting her for the bit he had, but there was no going back from this. If that held true for Teri, then it held true for her.
“Yes, you do.”
With her fingers at the back of his neck, she drew his mouth to hers.
His fist knotting in her hair froze her a mere breath from her goal. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying you’re my mate.”
“You finally letting go of the idea of an ‘out’ clause?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He let go of her hair. “Then prove it.”
Here in the middle of the street? No sooner did the thought enter her mind than she knew the answer was yes. Here where all could see. His pride would need that, this man who’d always grown up an outcast, who’d been born a Protector and always been denied his status. This man who’d just realized his dream and had sworn to give it up for her if necessary.
When Garrett’s hands cupped her buttocks, she didn’t say a word, just pulled him closer, kissed him deeper. His growl reverberated down her spine before spreading outward in a heated vibration that swelled her breasts and sensitized her clit. Her mark burned. Wrapping her legs around his waist, she held on, letting the passion flow through her, letting acceptance flow through her. This man was her future.
“Nice to see I’m not the only one that puts on the spectacle.”
Shock should have had her feet hitting the floor, but even knowing someone watched was not sufficient to gather her wits. Fortunately, Garrett had more fortitude. His fingers clutched in her hair. Every cell in her body moaned a protest as he put her away from him. Two layers of clothing, his and hers, were not enough to prevent sensation shooting through her as her nipples dragged down his chest. When her feet hit the floor, her knees didn’t get the message to support. If it hadn’t been for his hand on the small of her back, she would have collapsed. Heat flared in her cheeks. Above her, she heard Garrett chuckle. Behind her, she heard a feminine counterpoint.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, but Lisa sent me over to let you know Megan’s taking a nap and she’ll bring her by in a couple hours when she wakes up.”
There was no hope for it. Sarah Anne was going to have to turn around. She took a step back. Garrett allowed it, but he didn’t let her go far. His hand on her stomach kept them connected, kept the fire burning. Before her stood a pretty woman with long brown hair. She looked a lot like Heather but there was an innate softness about her. And her smile guaranteed the recipient wanted to smile back. As if she wasn’t blushing hot enough to start a bonfire, Sarah held out her hand. “I’m Sarah Anne.”
Amusement danced in the woman’s eyes as she took her hand. “I’m Kelon’s wife, Robin.”
Automatically Sarah breathed her scent. Robin wrinkled her nose. “I’ll save you the effort. I’m human. Heather is my sister.”
She knew that. Somewhere in the depths of her beleaguered brain she knew that Wyatt, Donovan and Kelon had married human sisters.
Robin tilted her head to the side and put her hands on her hips. “If you have a problem with that, we can have a chat.”
Garrett’s hand pressed warningly. “She has no problem with that.”
Robin cut Garrett a glance. “It’s nice to know you don’t think so, but your opinion is not the one I’m looking for.”
“My opinion is hers.”
Robin rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I do not understand how werewolf women put up with this.”
“Kelon doesn’t tell you what to do?” Sarah Anne asked.
Robin waved her hand. “Oh, he tries, but I just listen to what pleases me and negotiate the rest.”
Sarah Anne could just imagine the negotiations that serious, dark Kelon got into with this cheerful sprite of a woman. It was the first time she was happy her face was already red.
“You’ll like this about this pack. Women have a lot of say in a lot of things. Heather insists on it.”
“She does?”
“Yep. And I’ve got to tell you, the woman is in her glory. She’s finally got enough to manage.”
Robin put her hand on her full hip and pushed her hair back. “For ten years, you see, she only had Lisa and I to rule.”
“From what I hear, she could’ve been stricter.”
With a wave of her hand, Robin dismissed Garrett’s reprimand. “You heard about the waterfall incident.”
“No Protector hasn’t.”
Robin sighed. “One skinny-dipping session and a woman’s branded a troublemaker for life.”
“It wasn’t the skinny dipping that got you in trouble.”
“There was no way to know Donovan would be training the new soldiers over there that night.”
“Had you told your mate, you would have been informed.”
Robin rolled her eyes again. “And guarded. Which would have totally defeated the point of a girls’ night out.”
“You endangered yourself.”
Robin sighed and glanced at Sarah Anne, clearly looking for support. “That single-minded devotion to protection gets old fast.”
“I used to think so.”
She felt a surge of Garrett’s energy that indicated surprise. Stepping out of his arms, she held her hand out to Robin. She had a feeling they were going to be good friends.
Robin shook it. “But you came back?”
Sarah nodded, and stepped back. “I had this crazy idea it could be managed.”
Across the compound, she could see Kelon approaching. Robin’s gaze followed hers. A lovely soft smile touched her lips. “It can, but it’s a delicate balance.”
“Woman, you were told to wait for me,” Kelon growled as soon as he got close.
“I knew you’d be along shortly and Heather asked me to deliver a message.”
“It’s not safe for you to be out alone.”
Robin rolled her eyes. “Could you excuse us?”
Kelon reached for her arm. Before he could grab her, Robin slipped her arms around his waist, kissed his chest through his open shirt. “Not here.”
His big hand anchored in her hair. Sarah Anne would have feared for her except for the fact that no scent of tension flowed off Robin. And when she thought about it, Kelon wasn’t throwing stress, either. “I think here would be very appropriate. You have been very defiant of late.”
Robin whispered against his chest, “I totally lack discipline.”
Behind her Sarah Anne felt Garrett’s start. Wolf hearing was extraordinary, something Robin had forgotten.
Robin pressed her body closer to Kelon. Her smile as she looked up was total seductive amusement. “You might even need to take me in hand.”
Kelon’s face didn’t change, but his scent grew muskier with desire. “I was thinking the same thing.”
Robin’s sigh was exaggerated. “Of course, you know how I get when you discipline me, but if you don’t mind others seeing . . .”
Kelon swore and swung her up in his arms. She looked very small there, but very at home. “You have no shame.”
She linked her arms around his neck. “I’ll work on it.”
As he turned, he smiled. “Don’t bother on my account.”
Robin’s laugh trailed behind them as Kelon carried them toward the big blue house next door.
Sarah Anne watched, a smile tugging her own lips. Human or not, there was an aura of invincibility about Robin. She looked at Garrett. “Maybe I wasn’t so crazy after all. Maybe you can be managed.”
SARAH Anne thought she could manage him. Garrett watched the swish of Sarah Anne’s hips as she preceded him down the sidewalk. She was in a strange mood. He didn’t trust it. Something had happened in that room with Teri. Had Daire said something to the other woman over the course of her care? Something that scared Sarah when Teri repeated it? A frightened woman would have reason to cozy up to her Protector. The idea didn’t
sit well.
With a slight lengthening of stride, he reached the door to their house before Sarah Anne did. A hand on her arm stayed her.
“I’ll check it out first.”
She smiled calmly as if every other time he’d insisted on checking the house she hadn’t rolled her eyes. A quick mental and physical scan of the interior revealed no one waiting.
“Okay.”
That “okay” was entirely too easy, increasing his suspicions that something must have gone on in that room with Teri today. He couldn’t imagine what it was. But whatever it was needed to be dealt with. Sarah Anne had enough stress waiting on word about her son.
“Did you have a good visit with Teri?”
Her immediate frown confirmed his suspicions.
“It was enlightening.”
Enlightening. There was a broad term. He’d begun to understand how she protected herself. While she thought in terms of absolutes, she shielded herself with vagaries. He could probe her mind for the information he wanted, but he rejected the idea as soon as he had it. He wanted her to give to him on her own.
With a motion of his hand, he waved her into the house. She stepped past without her usual care. Her shoulder grazed his chest. The door closed behind them with a soft click. His eyes dropped naturally to the gentle swish of her rear. Inside, the heat rose. Despite his suspicions there was nothing tense in her posture. Sarah Anne picked up the day’s mail, sorted through the letters. He already knew there was nothing of import there, but a couple pieces of junk mail had been forwarded. She tapped the envelopes against her arm.
“Looks like my mail is beginning to be forwarded.”
“That’s good.” Though in reality he’d prefer that all contact with her past was severed.
“It still makes me nervous.”
“Why?”
She waved the envelopes. “They know where we are.”
Wild Instinct Page 11