He slid his thumb along the buttons on the remote, pausing once he hovered over the giant one up top. He pressed it down at last, watching as the light drained from the room. The sound went along with it, a weak echo that clung to the walls before dying out completely. In the quiet darkness, Braden’s pain bubbled and swelled, filling the space with something more prominent than lights and noise – heartache. Anger. Rage. How could he have been so stupid? Here he’d given Allie a lecture on picking up a snake and whining about getting bit. But hadn’t he learned over the years? Hadn’t he seen that – for whatever reason – Allie Emerson would stick with Terrance through thick, thin, and everything in between? Heck, forget about thick and thin, she’d swim through poison if it meant stopping that SOB from getting what he deserved.
The truth of it was a life force all its own, racing through his limbs as he shot to a stand in the dark room. The anguished heat fueled him on as he gripped hold of the pillows with tight, aching hands. He chucked them toward the window before throwing his bag off the bed as well. After the quilt hit the floor, Braden gripped onto the sheets. Yet right as his hands clenched, readying to tear the linens clean off the mattress, a soft voice spoke to his mind. Very much like the one he’d heard back on the day he’d nearly beat Carl Ronsberg to a pulp. Stop.
The shock alone caused him to drop to his knees. He rested his head before him, wondering what he should do with himself. He loved Allie Emerson. Loved her with every piece of his heart. And those girls…
A new gashing tear cut through his chest. Ripping the hole bigger. Forcing it deeper. Braden had started to think things were finally coming back around. That his valiant acts from years past were finding their reward after all this time. He’d thought that perhaps God was aware of all he’d sacrificed, of just how very right he was for Allie and those girls. What were they in for now?
With his elbows resting on the bed before him, Braden clenched his hands together and closed his eyes. “Please, God,” he uttered for the first time in years. “You know as well as I do that I’ve turned into a weak and selfish man. But not where Allie’s concerned. I promise I’ve tried to do right by her. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’ve tried.” He suddenly became aware of the aching tension in his body; it was almost strangling. With great effort, he worked to release the strain of his hands and forearms. To ease the noose-like knots around his neck.
“I need her,” he continued, “and I think she needs me too. But if I’m meant to step aside and let her go…” Braden paused there, unwilling to make a promise he couldn’t keep. The rest was too painful to utter, so he spoke in his heart instead. I’ll let her go if that’s what’s best for her. Never had a single phrase crushed him the way this sentence did. But he’d meant it. He’d do anything for Allie. And that included setting her free even now.
At once his body went lax. From its stiff and rigid form of determination, to a melted heap of surrender. And though the words no longer spilled across his tongue, they continued to flow through his mind just the same. Only heaven knew where things would go, how this journey was supposed to end. Braden just hoped that – wherever it led – he could survive the ride.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
“So, did you have a nice time?” Allie asked, stroking Jillian’s hair. Nearly half an hour had passed since the worn out teen had sought respite from the rowdy play involving Sophie, Carter, and the nephews on the Emerson side. She’d slumped next to her on the couch and hadn’t moved a muscle since.
“Yeah,” Jillian said. “I’m glad the cousins were here. It gave Bree’s kids someone closer to their own age to play with.”
“And you a chance to snuggle up to Porter for a while,” Allie added.
Jilly’s face reddened. “Yeah, until they all wanted to play with us too,” she said with a laugh.
Allie nodded. “Yeah. Seemed like they had a lot of fun.”
“Mm hmm,” Jillian agreed. “I wonder when Uncle Shane’s going to get married.”
“Probably won’t be long now.” Of course Allie’s cousin, Shane, wasn’t exactly the girls’ uncle, but he was close enough. And it was how Paige and Jillian had known Allie’s cousins all their lives.
“How are you holding up?” Jillian asked, resting her head on Allie’s shoulder.
And there it went, that flaring ball of heat burning in her chest. The reminder of all that had taken place that day. “I’m doing alright,” she said. “I’ve had plenty to help take my mind off the whole thing, so that’s good. I didn’t mention it to Reese or Jade because I knew if I did I’d be a total wreck. And there’s no way I’d say a word to Grandma about it.”
Jillian giggled.
“But there were a few times I caught eye-contact with Bree, and she’d give me this sad sort of smile that kind of confirmed that this day really happened. It wasn’t all some bad dream.” There’d been a few times she’d even had to escape, dash out front or to the restroom to wipe at worried tears. The frustration of it all was maddening – a simple phone call would clear up the entire thing, but even that was impossible. For now, anyway.
Jillian pulled in a deep breath and then sighed. “Bummer.”
“Yep.” Allie nestled her cheek onto Jillian’s head, the softness of her hair against her skin. “Wonder where Paige went. She disappeared once we finished the dishes.”
“Grandma probably knows,” Jillian said.
“You’re right. Hey, Mom?” Allie hollered.
Lilly came hustling out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron.
“Do you know where Paige is?” Jillian asked.
Her mother scurried back into the kitchen while hollering over her shoulder. “She’s out back with your father. Here,” she said, rushing into to the front room with a covered plate in her hands. “This is for Braden. Tell him to get feeling better soon. And that we expect to see him here next time around.”
“I will. Thanks, Mom.” Allie’s gaze dropped to the still-warm plate of food as she rested it on her lap. The gesture meant a lot. “He’ll love this,” she said, knowing that – were Braden really home sick as she’d said– he would surely appreciate it.
Lilly leaned against the wall for a blink. “Seems to me we might have a bit of match-makin’ to do.”
Allie looked at her mother sideways. “I hope you’re not talking about Logan. Because he needs to try to work things out with Candice.”
Her mother waved a dismissive hand in the air. “Oh, heavens no, dear. I’m talking about Bree. I had someone lined up to come over tonight but it appears he couldn’t make it either.” She picked at her fingernails while muttering under her breath, her face pinched with irritation. “… ‘course a phone call might have been nice…” The sound of a loud knock at the front door made Allie jump. And before she could stop it, her heart took a similar leap into a fast-paced beat of anticipation.
Jillian lifted her head from Allie’s shoulder and gave her a questioning look.
“No,” Allie murmured under her breath. She knew just who Jillian thought might be on the other side of that door, mainly because the idea had popped into her own head. But there was no way Braden was there.
Lilly was already at the door, pulling it open while Allie gripped onto the plate in her lap like her life depended on it; it was the only thing keeping her from floating into a reckless world of hope.
“Well, speak of the devil,” her mother chimed. “Come in, come in.”
Both Jillian and Allie leaned forward, straining to see past Lilly. Dark denim. A light T-shirt. Allie’s heart pumped faster as she tilted her head, accelerating even more as Lilly stepped aside to let him in. At last their guest entered the room, allowing Allie to see his hair – a sandy blond. Her heart dropped.
“Sorry I’m late,” the man said. “I was stuck on an over-the-phone job interview.”
“Tsk,” Lilly grumbled. “Who does phone interviews at this time of night?”
The guy shrugged in return. “People who hire bodyguards
like me.”
Their conversation continued as Allie sunk back into a mental hole – the place she’d been sucked into earlier while driving. Being at her folks’ place – surrounded by people she loved – had done wonders for her state of mind. But the false hope that had come with that knock on the door had stripped her of every positive feeling she’d gained.
“Allie?”
The tone of Lilly’s voice told her she’d said her name more than once.
Allie gulped, glancing up at her mother. “Yes?”
“You remember Grayson Law, don’t you?”
Allie gave him another glance over. Tall, muscular. Definitely handsome. Was this who her mother had planned to set Bree up with? “Yes,” she managed, reaching to shake the hand he offered. “Hi Grayson.” He was a year or two younger, from what she remembered, but she knew his face – it was a hard one to forget.
“He wanted to pick your dad’s brain for a bit,” Lilly continued, “but I thought he may as well join us for dinner while he was at it. I saved a plate for you,” she added. “Stay put and I’ll go heat it up.”
Grayson turned his attention back to Allie and Jillian. “You know, I got to play football with Terrance a time or two during my freshman year,” he said.
Allie tried to force a grin but knew she was failing miserably.
“That’s cool,” Jillian said, coming to her rescue.
“Braden Fox was on the team too,” he added, “he taught me a whole lot – me being on the junior varsity that year and all. I understand you two are dating, right?”
Normally Allie might be irritated by the display of her mother’s rambling all-things-personal where she was concerned, but in this moment it was just what she needed. “Right,” she said, loving the way it felt to say it aloud. She was dating Braden Fox. It was still true enough.
Grayson shoved a hand in his pocket. “So is he here? It’d be nice to catch up.”
“I’m afraid not,” Allie said, “he wasn’t feeling well tonight.”
“And you just missed his younger sister, Bree,” Lilly said in an agitated tone. “She was here with her two kids. Do you remember Bree? Pretty brunette? Got divorced a few years back?”
There went Mom and all her subtly.
Grayson looked over his shoulder at Lilly. “I do,” he said with a chuckle. “’Fact I asked her to a dance back in school.”
“So you two have dated?” Lilly’s blue eyes went wide with hope.
“Not exactly. She uh, already had a date from what I remember.” He looked down at the floor and shrugged. “So, no. We never did go out.” Grayson’s face reddened in the quiet moment.
“Hmm. Well, they say timing is everything.” Lilly motioned to the kitchen. “Come on in and getcha some food. Logan’s in here and you can catch up with him while you eat. Earl will be in in just a bit.” After Grayson disappeared around the corner, Lilly snuck back to the front room, stretching her neck toward Allie and Jillian. “You think you can get Bree back here for some reason?” she hissed. “You’ve got her number, don’t you?”
Allie and Jillian broke into laughter. “I doubt it,” Allie said. “But I can try.”
Jillian hovered over Allie’s shoulder as she thumbed through her list of contacts. She had to admit it felt nice putting her focus someplace else. The idea of hooking Bree up with the hunk in the other room was definitely a tasty distraction. It was hard to believe Bree had ever turned him down in the first place.
“Hi, Bree?”
“No,” Bree said from the other end of the line. “Go brush your teeth and get into bed. I’m sure he’ll call in the morning.” A moment passed before she spoke up once more. “Sorry. What’s going on?’
“Are they asking about Braden?” Allie couldn’t help but ask.
“Yeah. But he’ll call soon. He will. He always checks in on us. If not tonight I’m sure he’ll call by tomorrow.”
Allie let that simmer as she set her mind back to the reason for her call. “You’re probably way to busy for this right now, and possibly not even interested from what Braden said, but a very handsome man just walked through the door here. He’s single, he knows who you are, and my mom sort of planned to have you two meet tonight.”
When no words came Jillian leaned over and added, “He was late because something came up.” She looked at Allie and shrugged.
“Oh. That was nice of your mother to think of me like that, but I’m not in a position to date anyone right now.”
“I think if you saw this guy you might reconsider,” Allie said.
“His name’s Grayson Law,” Jillian said. “Do you remember him?”
Silence.
“Bree?” Allie prodded.
“Yes.” It came out in a whisper. “He asked me out once.”
“That’s what he said,” Jillian blurted, excitement in her tone.
“Hmm.” More silence. “And he’s still single?” Bree asked.
Allie gave that some thought. “Or divorced. I don’t really know. I guess he’s a bodyguard of some sort now.”
“A cute one,” Jillian added. “You sure you don’t want to come back for a minute? You could say you forgot something.”
“And Jillian could take my car out there. Watch the kids while you leave.”
A sigh came from the receiver. “No, ladies. I don’t think so. It’s not a good time for me right now.”
Allie felt her shoulders droop.
Jillian’s face fell flat.
“He didn’t know Lilly was setting us up, did he?” Bree asked.
Allie perked back up. “Like before he came over?” She wondered why it mattered.
“Yeah. Does he know Lilly’s trying to set us up?”
“No. But when she mentioned you, he admitted that you turned him down once.”
A small giggle sounded from the other end of the line. “Well, I better get these kids to bed. Goodnight, girls. Tell Paige happy birthday for me tomorrow, will you?”
“Sure,” Allie said. “She has plans with her friends for the night, but already she’s saying she wants to cancel. This whole thing has hit her pretty hard, I’m afraid.”
“Hopefully getting Braden back in the picture will help a little. I know he’ll call soon.”
Allie caught eye contact with Jillian in that moment. “I hope so,” she said, returning her daughter’s hopeful grin.
The next few moments went by in a blur. Allie rounded up Paige, thanked her parents for the nice dinner, and said goodbye to Logan and Grayson. It was a good thing the night had been such an eventful one. She wasn’t sure she could have survived a quiet evening at home at a time like this. Yet as they pulled into the driveway, that feeling of dread – the one that had prodded at her in spurts throughout the night – sunk right back in through her skin. Began spreading throughout every limb. She said goodnight to the girls, prayed she could give Paige a good birthday tomorrow, and slipped under the sheets. There, she let Bree’s reassuring words offer a bit of hope. Braden would call tomorrow. Soon all would be set right. She had to believe that was true.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Braden startled to awareness with the terrible knowledge that she was gone. Through a gap in the closed drapes, a sharp streak of light pierced into the darkness, reminding him of where he was. His mind might have forgotten the events of the day before – caught up in a web of dreams – but Braden’s heart had remained in constant awareness. Ever knowing its broken state, somehow feeling her absence. Allie Emerson was gone.
He showered before checking out, wishing he could wash away the effects of the last twenty-four hours. Yet even as he tossed his bag onto the passenger seat and roared up the engine, the pain was as fresh as it ever was. He wound through the parking lot, eyeing the road ahead; five more hours and he’d be there. He checked the time, realizing he hadn’t done so the entire morning. It was just past noon already. The position of the high-set sun should’ve told him as much. Guess it didn’t really matter anyway. The guesthou
se to the orchard home would be vacant no matter when he arrived.
With a quick flick, Braden turned on his blinker. Yet just as he gripped the wheel to make the left turn, two simple words came to mind: You promised. He straightened up, recalling the promise he’d made to himself on Allie’s behalf. He’d promised that he would not let her break. But how was that relevant here? Was this some sort of answer to his late-night plea?
He shook his head, ready to dismiss the impression, yet it only grew stronger.
Last night, in the dark of the motel room, there had been only two possible ways for this to go. In scenario one, things would work out between Allie and Terrance. Most likely Allie would be unhappy, as she was during a large part of their marriage, but she’d do anything for those kids. And she was probably under the delusion that being with the girls’ father was best; that fact alone had filled Braden with a dread so dark and deep, he’d nearly drowned in it the night before. Scenario Two was better: Allie – after remembering what a jackass Terrance was – could tell her ex-husband to get lost. That was an option he hadn’t dared hope for. But what he hadn’t seen in the dark of the night, was the final scenario: Braden could confront her. Rather than stand idly by, he could show up at Allie’s door, tell her he wasn’t willing to let her go so easily, and make certain she knew how much he cared.
As he gripped the solid leather of that wheel, Braden realized he held his fate in his hands. And perhaps Allie’s too. He was best for Allie. It wasn’t a mere guess or a biased opinion. It was the truth, and he knew it.
A smile crossed his lips as he cranked the wheel in the other direction, back toward Montana. Toward Allie and the girls. Forget about bowing out and letting go. The thought had served him well enough the night before. Helped him to get the sleep and peace he’d needed. But today he was willing to put himself on the line once and for all. Today, Braden Fox was ready to fight.
~+~
Throughout the long drive, the sun took a slow course across the sky, settling close to the horizon as he pulled up to Allie’s home. Tangerine sunlight fell over the rooftop, the way it had when he’d gone to her place for dinner the first time. Braden could hardly believe he’d been so nervous to enter the house back then. It was nothing compared to what he faced now.
Rough Edges: Allie's Story, A Companion to the Sweet Montana Bride Series (Second Chances Book 1) Page 19