‘So it would appear,’ she snapped. ‘What do you want?’
He didn’t answer straight away, for a moment she thought he’d hung up.
‘It’s okay. I’ll call later,’ he said, sounding wary.
She felt lousy. She knew she’d been giving him a hard time lately. Pete had been cross about her lawyer jokes. ‘Sorry, David. I’m just irritable with this baby. How can I help you?’
‘I left a bag at your house last week and I really need to get it back. I forgot it, with all the hullabaloo after Matthew’s fall.’
‘I’m looking at it right now. It’s in the hall.’
‘Can I call over for it? I’m not far away.’
‘I’m going up for a bath, but there’s a key under the plant pot on the right. Let yourself in. I’ll make us a cuppa when I come down,’ Jenny said.
‘Great stuff,’ David replied. ‘Enjoy your splash.’
Jenny climbed the stairs slowly, muttering under her breath about splashes. She started to run the bath then searched for a gift she’d received a few Christmases ago. A gift set from Boots, full of bath bombs and bubbles. Ah, there it was. She poured the bath gel into the running water and breathed in the scent, reading the label out loud to herself. ‘Jasmine and rose bath crème! Very nice! Thank you, oh sister of mine.’
She undressed, taking a peek at her body in the bathroom mirror. Jenny tried to recreate the famous Demi Moore pose, holding one hand across her breasts, the other under her bump. She twisted her body sideways, and pouted at the mirror.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. She was more Dudley Moore than Demi. She looked ridiculous.
Laughing at herself, she turned the tap off, then tested the water. Satisfied it wasn’t going to scald her, she lifted her legs into the water, wincing as another dart shot up into her groin and buttocks.
She gingerly managed to lower herself into the water and lay back, placing her head on the back of the tub. Now this was the life. Why was it that she never had a bath? She’d always been a shower-and-go type of gal. She’d envied those girls who could luxuriate in lovely foamy baths. This would be the start of a new her. She’d learn to appreciate the beauty of a long soak. No more would she have to regift all those bath sets she always seemed to get at the office Christmas Secret Santa.
She closed her eyes, feeling the water lap around her. She would need to be a contortionist though to get the water to cover her body up. The house was silent. Remembering her midwife’s instructions, she willed herself to relax. Nope. She was bored already. She wondered how long she’d been in the water for. It felt like hours. She quickly peered over to the shelf beside the bath where she’d placed her watch. Damn it. It had been less than three minutes since she’d sank her ass into the water!
She closed her eyes again, trying to remember the breathing exercises the midwife had told her about. The Scottish woman’s voice rang into her ear. ‘Slowly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth, allowing all your air to flow out with a sigh . . .’
Jenny tried that, ending with a loud ‘Aargghhhh . . .’
She felt ridiculous. She tried it a second time, but gave up halfway through.
What else had the midwife suggested? Oh yeah, she said that with each exhale, she should focus on relaxing different part of her body. And with that, bloody Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s ‘Relax’ started buzzing around her head again.
‘I don’t think your mama is very good at this,’ Jenny said to her bump. She glanced at the watch again. She’d been in the bath six whole minutes. If she got up now she could catch Loose Women, which would be just starting. Oooh, that would be far more beneficial to me than lying here in my own filth, she thought. Time to get up.
And that’s when it all went wrong.
Jenny held on to the sides of the tub, and attempted to pull herself up. But her arms weren’t strong enough and she only managed to lift her arse a few inches from the bottom of the bath.
Hmm, she thought. This could be tricky. She tried to move sideways, wriggling her bum so that her bump fell to the right. If she could just turn herself so she could get on her knees, she knew she could push herself up. But once again, she fell back in an undignified splash.
‘Hello!’ David’s voice called out, downstairs. Shit, she’d forgotten all about him. He’d let himself in, as instructed. She hated when people did that.
Fan-bloody-tastic! Jenny thought.
‘I’m still in the bath,’ she shouted down. ‘You go ahead. The bag is in the hall.’
‘Nonsense,’ David replied. ‘You take your time, I’ll put the kettle on and have a nice cup of tea ready for you, when you come down.’
Damn it, Jenny thought.
She took a deep breath and used all her strength to heave herself up. And she nearly made it too. She managed to raise her bottom high enough that she got one leg to tuck under her. Then the pain hit her again, shooting up through her pelvis and she screamed out in pain as she flopped back into the water again.
She heard David running up the stairs, calling her name.
‘I’m okay,’ she said, but her voice was brittle with pain.
‘Clearly you’re not,’ David said outside the bathroom. ‘I’m coming in.’
‘I’m naked,’ she screamed as he walked in, but she was too late. She started to scoop up bubbles, placing them strategically over her breasts and bloody painful vagina!
‘Oh good Lord. You’re naked,’ he exclaimed, averting his eyes.
‘What did you expect? I’m in a flaming bath.’
‘Of course. Sorry. What’s wrong? Are you in labour?’
‘No!’ Jenny exclaimed. Then she added, in a small voice, ‘I’m stuck.’
He started to laugh. ‘Oh, thank goodness for that. Crikey, for a minute I thought I was going to have to deliver that baby here and now!’
‘I’m glad you find it so funny!’ Jenny said. ‘Meanwhile . . .’
‘Quite,’ David said. ‘Right, let’s get you up. Heave ho and I’ll have you up in a jiffy.’
‘No!’ Jenny said. ‘There will be no heave hoing. Have you forgotten I’m naked under these bubbles?’
David didn’t like to point out that that particular cat jumped out of the bag when he’d walked in and seen everything.
‘Turn around,’ Jenny demanded. ‘I’m going to let the water out of the bath, then you can pass me a towel and I’ll drape that over myself while you help me up.’
‘Great idea,’ David said. He turned his back to her, then realised he was facing the mirror with an unimpeded view of Jenny’s breasts as she leaned forward to take the plug out.
He quickly looked down and turned his eyes towards the door instead. He’d only come to collect a bag, he’d not expected all this palaver!
There was an awkward silence as they listened to the water drain out of the tub; occasionally they asked a banal question or two of each other. When they had exhausted small talk, mercifully the drain gulped the last lot of water down.
David passed a towel to Jenny. ‘I’m a beached whale,’ she said forlornly. ‘About to suffocate under the weight of its own bulk.’
David turned around and said gently, ‘More like a beautiful ladybird who’s fallen on to its back with its little legs in the air, trying so hard to right itself.’
‘My legs are little,’ Jenny said, much preferring the ladybird analogy.
‘Tiny,’ David agreed, then calling out, one, two, three, he pulled her up and lifted her out of the bath.
‘You’re strong,’ Jenny said, in admiration. She would never have thought that about him before.
‘I have been working out a lot. Bench pressing about two hundred pounds these days. Which I’d say is about . . .’ David stopped when Jenny flashed him a warning look.
‘. . . Which I was about to say was at least double your weight.’ She smiled, pleased at that remark. ‘Right, I’ll leave you to get dressed and tea will be ready when you come down.’
‘Thanks, Davi
d,’ Jenny said. ‘I appreciate your help.’
‘I’m not all that bad, you know,’ David said. ‘I can be a nice guy.’
When Jenny came downstairs, she found him sitting at their kitchen table with tea and biscuits laid out waiting for her.
‘I don’t think you’re a bad guy,’ Jenny said before she bit into a Jaffa Cake.
‘You do a good impression of someone who does think that,’ David replied.
‘Have I been a right bitch?’
‘Well, you’ve been a bit . . . difficult,’ David finished.
Jenny laughed at that word. She accepted that she could be difficult.
‘It’s just all this stuff with Karen and the divorce. I’ve been worried about her . . .’ Jenny said.
He nodded. ‘I get that. I want you to take her side. I’m glad she has you. But for the record, she wanted to get divorced, she pushed for it. I wasn’t the only one who met someone else.’
‘Mark.’
He nodded. Mark was the man that Karen had an affair with before their own marriage ended. She had tried to have a relationship with him for a while, but they broke up within a few weeks. ‘He wanted Karen, not our children. Arsehole.’
‘Arsehole,’ Jenny agreed and she clinked mugs with him. Then she frowned as a thought struck her. ‘Do you think that it’s the norm, rather than the exception, that men don’t want to take on someone else’s child?’
David shook his head quickly. ‘No. Not in the least. I think if you love someone, you love all parts of them. Children and all. Or at least I hope that’s the case.’
David thought about Robyn and how hard she’d been trying to bond with the children. Josh was being difficult, he knew that. But it sometimes felt like an impossible situation. He wanted to support all of them – his girlfriend, his ex-wife and his son – but sometimes he felt like he was being torn into three different directions.
‘Are you and Robyn serious?’ Jenny asked.
‘I think so. I love her. She says she loves me. And when that happens, you have to grab it, don’t you?’
‘Yes. I suppose you do.’
‘It’s been a tricky time for Robyn. But she’s stuck around. I mean, just as we get together, Rachel dies. I’ve been spending huge amounts of time with Karen. And Josh and the children are trying so hard to adjust to their new normal.’ He paused for a moment, then thought, in for a penny, in for a pound. ‘And, of course, there’s the fact that none of my friends have made any attempts to befriend her. She feels quite isolated.’
Jenny interrupted, irritated at the inference that she had done something wrong. ‘Now, wait a minute. I’m Karen’s friend, you can’t expect me to be all chummy-chummy with your new girlfriend!’
‘No, I don’t for one moment expect that. But I have to admit, I thought you of all people would have been a little bit nicer to her.’
‘Why me?’ Jenny snapped.
‘It’s just you went through all this when you dated Robert. Remember?’ David said.
Jenny felt embarrassment wash over her. To her shame, she’d forgotten all about that. When she’d dated Robert, a friend of David’s, after she split up with Pete, she had been really angry with her friends because they wouldn’t give him a chance. They’d made it so hard for someone new to enter their clique. ‘Oh shit, David. I’m a bitch. I really am. I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s okay. But it would mean the world to me, if you would just try to get to know her. You might be surprised at how much you like her. You have quite a lot in common, you know.’
Jenny looked up at him in disbelief. Then they both looked down at the floor as he felt a splash of water hit his leg.
‘Shit! David, brace yourself, mate. My waters have just broken!’
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The missing father and the flows and the rides
Pete and Jenny’s house, Didsbury, Manchester
David looked in horror at the water that had trickled from Jenny on to the floor.
‘And I just had a bath!’ she wailed. ‘What a waste.’
‘You’re not getting back into another one of those again!’ David said. He didn’t think his back could take it. ‘Right, let’s get you to the hospital!’
‘I want Pete, but I don’t know if he wants me. Or us,’ Jenny said pointing to her tummy. ‘I’m scared.’
‘I know you are. But you must trust me,’ David said. ‘I’m here and it’s all going to be fine.’ He felt sweat begin to trickle down his spine. Time to find that calm they all congratulated him on recently. He tried to remember all he’d learned for Karen’s labours. But it seemed like such a long time ago now.
First things first. He needed to find her bag! There has to be a labour bag. It was all Karen talked about for weeks, in fact months, for each of their pregnancies.
‘Where’s your bag?’ David asked. ‘Upstairs?’
‘I don’t have it packed yet!’ Jenny wailed again. ‘I was going to do it tomorrow.’
‘That’s fine. I’ll pack one for you, no problem at all.’ He ran upstairs to her bedroom, then ran back downstairs again, two steps at a time, ‘What do you want me to put in it?’
‘Er, my nightdress, it’s in the top drawer, I’ll need my big knickers, same drawer, you’ll find toiletries in the bathroom, and there’s a bag on the top shelf, with all the babygros in it,’ Jenny said.
‘Not a problem,’ David replied, smiling while inside he was panicking, thinking he’d never remember all that. When she mentioned big knickers his mind kind of wandered.
‘Ring Pete!’ Jenny said. ‘And the hospital, to tell them we’re on our way. The numbers on the pad by the phone in the hall.’
‘Yes. Of course,’ David replied, pulling his mobile phone out as he went upstairs. He dialled Pete’s number. Answer the bloody phone, he thought. Voice message! He tried to sound cheery as he left him a message. He didn’t want to get him in a state.
‘Put my scrunchie in,’ Jenny shouted, as he started to punch in the number for the hospital.
What the fuck was a scrunchie? David thought. He scanned the room looking for a likely suspect. Then spotted a small teddy bear on the bedside locker that looked like it had all its stuffing flattened out of it. Its face was kind of scrunched-up-looking. Probably a favourite teddy bear of Jenny’s from childhood or something. Yes, that had to be it. He stuffed it in the small bag he’d found at the foot of the bed, along with the other items.
He ran downstairs again just as the door opened.
‘Pete!’ Both Jenny and David said at once.
‘No, just me!’ Adam said, walking in with Matthew in his car seat.
‘I’m in labour,’ Jenny lamented.
‘Oh, sweet Jesus. Are you all right?’ He ran over to her.
‘Oh, I’m just peachy,’ she replied, but smiled as she said it. ‘Find Pete for me, will ya?’
‘On it,’ Adam said. Then he turned to David. ‘Where is he?’
‘No idea. He’s not answering the phone. Look, I’ll bring Jenny into the hospital, I’ll call Karen too. And you go find Pete,’ David suggested.
‘Perfect.’ Adam ran towards the door, then back in again as he remembered Matthew. ‘Where’s little Adam? I’ll drop him and Matthew off at Karen’s.’
‘In nursery.’ Jenny said. Then she made a face as a contraction started. Oh boy, she’d forgotten what they were like. It was like her hooha was being electrocuted! She leaned over the back of the kitchen chair and held on.
‘Ride with the pain,’ Adam said, remembering Rachel’s labour.
‘Flow with the tide,’ David added.
She looked at both of them as she breathed in and out quickly. Were they for real? If she wasn’t in so much pain, she would have told them what they could do with their flows and rides.
David checked his watch and announced, ‘Eight minutes, thirty seconds since the last one.’ He clicked a button on his watch and smiled in satisfaction.
‘Karen bought me this for Fath
er’s Day a few years ago,’ he said to Adam, who leaned in to take a look.
‘Nice,’ Adam said. He held up his wrist and showed David his. ‘Now, this one shows the time in three different continents.’
‘Nice,’ David agreed.
‘Hello!’ Jenny shouted. ‘Woman in labour, about to have a baby over here!’
Adam ran over to her and kissed her cheek. ‘I’ll get Pete for you. And I’ll collect little Adam from nursery. You just worry about bringing this little one into the world, okay?’
Jenny clasped Adam’s hand. ‘What if he doesn’t want us?’
Adam looked at David, who looked as helpless as he felt.
‘Course he does,’ Adam said.
‘I need the loo,’ Jenny screamed.
Adam helped her to the loo under the stairs and opened the door for her.
He ran back to David. ‘What if that numpty has gone to Australia?’
‘He wouldn’t,’ David gasped.
‘He would, you know. Jo sent him an email, asking him to go over,’ Adam said. ‘She’s throwing herself at him, all bendy and sexy. Sure his head is turned with it all!’
‘I’ll kill him,’ David felt anger bubble up inside him on behalf of Jenny. ‘She’s very vulnerable right now. She doesn’t need this.’
‘Look, if he’s in the country, I’ll get him back here and I’ll drag him by his short and curlies if I have to!’
‘What are you whispering about?’ Jenny said. ‘Have you heard from Pete?’
‘No answer yet,’ Adam said. ‘I’m going to ring around a few likely suspects. Remember what I said now. You just worry about yourself and that little one.’
Her brown eyes filled with tears and she looked so scared that both men wanted to strangle Pete.
‘He missed little Adam’s birth,’ Jenny whispered.
‘It’s going to be fine,’ Adam reassured her. ‘He won’t miss this one.’
‘You promise?’ Jenny said.
‘We both do,’ David said, holding his hand out. ‘Now, come on, you. Let’s get you to the hospital. They are expecting us.’
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Audrey’s secret past and the saucy ketchup
Cold Feet: The Lost Years Page 18